Sawyer (Torey Hope: The Later Years #2) (21 page)

“Now, something bad happened to me when I was a much younger man. It broke my heart and left me living as a shell of a man. I hid behind the pain, and I covered the pain with the bottle. I missed out on several years of living because I let the fear of moving on stand in my way. People were hurt in devastating ways because of my choices.”

“Son, I’m not saying you’re hurting others, but I do see you hurting yourself and Sawyer. I know you’ve had a rough past; I know you two will face some rough times in the future. In all honesty though, we’ve all got some shitty stuff in our pasts. We can’t let the past control our future happiness. And we’ve all got potentially rough times in our futures. We can either choose to face those rough times with the people we love by our sides or alone. I’ve done it alone. I think you’ve had your fair share of alone. I’d much rather face the future with love surrounding me. What about you?” The captain paused and let the question hang in the air.

“Yes, sir, I’d rather have that too.” Luke felt the man’s words to the very core of his being.

“Well, then. I suggest you stop pussy-footin’ around. Come to dinner this weekend; make yourself officially part of our family. We’d love to have you.” The captain abruptly stood and nodded his head at Luke.

Such an unexpected, touching, and abrupt talk they’d just had. Luke couldn’t help but smile.

As he rode his motorcycle home, a plan began to form in his mind.

***********

It was Saturday night; the next day was the big family dinner at his grandma’s house. Would Luke be joining him this week or not?

A sense of dread overtook him when his phone buzzed.

Luke:
I need to talk to you. Can you come over, please?

Sawyer:
Everything okay?

Luke:
Yeah, just some things that need to be said.

Sawyer’s heart plummeted to his stomach. Climbing in his newly serviced car, he drove the short distance to Luke’s place.

Walking in the door, Sawyer immediately noticed something different about Luke. His body longed to reach for the other man, but his head told him that Luke needed to do this, whatever
this
was, on his own. He let Luke lead him to the bedroom.

“Have you heard the song
Take Your Time
by Sam Hunt?” Luke’s voice was raspy, only his cadence giving away his nervousness.

“No, I don’t think so,” Sawyer wasn’t sure where the conversation was headed, but he knew he wanted to keep Luke talking. Even if nothing ever changed between them sexually, he couldn’t bear the thought of not having Luke in his life. If Luke never settled in to Sawyer’s family completely, could he live with that? Pushing the thought aside he focused on what Luke was saying.

Watching Luke pace the floor of the room while he rolled a piece of paper in his hands gave Sawyer a flicker of hope. If Luke was going to tell him something bad, wouldn’t he have done it quickly to get it over with? With his heart full of half hope and half worry, Sawyer let Luke pace and work his words out in his own time.

Finally, seemingly satisfied with what he’d run through in his head, Luke stopped and walked to face Sawyer. “I want you to listen to this song; when it’s over, I have some things I want to say to you. I need to do something on the computer to get ready for my part; put these headphones on and just listen.” Luke gently placed the apparatus on Sawyer’s head.

“What…” Sawyer started to speak, but Luke shook his head quickly.

“Just listen.” Luke handed Sawyer his phone and indicated that Sawyer could push play, then he walked away and settled himself at the computer with his back to the room.

He was glad that Luke wasn’t going to watch him listen to the song; he walked over to the bed and sat down, pulling a bent leg up and leaving one hanging over the edge. As he listened to the song’s opening lyrics, he was confused: a guy talking to a girl in a bar, promising not to be another sleazy pick-up line, not wanting anything serious, just wanting her time.
Where the hell is Luke going with this song?
As he continued to listen his confusion grew; he could see no connection between their relationship up until that point in time and this song.

As the song ended, Sawyer sat still for a while just listening to the silence which surrounded him. That song wasn’t a break up song, but it wasn’t a love-filled, hopeful song. He turned cautious, wary eyes toward Luke and waited; his heart pounding.

Luke clicked a few more things on the computer then stood up with the laptop and came over to the bed. He put the computer in front of Sawyer. He settled in behind Sawyer, his legs mimicking the other man’s so that his front was flush with Sawyer’s back. Leaning in, he whispered, “That song is great, but it doesn’t say exactly what I want it to say; I’m no songwriter, but I’ve changed some of the lyrics and I wanted you to see how I would sing that song to you. Watch.”

Luke reached out to click play and a slide show type presentation came on the screen with Sam Hunt’s “Take Your Time” song playing in the background. Each slide presented the lyrics as Sawyer had just heard them through the headphones. Still not understanding what was going on, Sawyer took a deep breath and relaxed into Luke’s strong arms and solid chest.

As the chorus of the song played, Sawyer watched in breathless fascination as new lyrics of the chorus filled the screen. The original lyrics were played through the speakers while Luke’s new lyrics stood out in upper case letters on the screen.

YOU’VE BECOME MY FREEDOM

I WANNA BE ON YOUR MIND

YOU’VE ALREADY MADE ME LOVE YOU

I DON’T WANNA WASTE MORE TIME

I WANNA BE PART OF YOUR FAMILY

WE’VE ALREADY CROSSED THAT LINE

I WANNA SHARE YOUR COVERS

I DON’T WANNA WASTE MORE TIME

I DON’T WANNA GO HOME WITHOUT YOU

I JUST WANNA BE WITH YOU

YOU CAN CALL ME BABY ANYTIME

I WANNA CALL YOU MINE

YOU ALREADY OWN MY HEART

I DON’T WANNA WASTE MORE TIME

Sawyer’s body tensed as he read the altered lyrics; he held his breath throughout most of the song until it reached a certain point. Instead of lyrics about blowing your phone up and blowing your mind, Luke had thrown in some lighthearted lyrics about “I want to feel you up” and “I just want to blow…um…” Sawyer’s body shook with laughter, and he felt relief flood through his body. He understood this was Luke’s way of letting him know he was done letting the past control them.

The song ended, and Sawyer immediately clicked the file to play it again. Luke ran his hands along Sawyer’s muscled thighs as the song floated in the air. Sawyer’s strong hands came over his; their fingers intertwining.

When the song ended a second time, Sawyer stood abruptly and carried the laptop to the desk. Walking back towards Luke, he sat down hard on the bed and drew in a deep breath. Luke, sensing Sawyer was going to need some clarification on what his words meant for them, knelt on the floor between Sawyer’s legs.

“So, like I warned you, I’m not a songwriter, but I hope you heard what I was saying with those words.” Luke’s eyes beseeched Sawyer to accept the words on the screen, let him off the hook, make this easy.

“I heard what those words were saying, but I’d like to hear it straight from your mouth.” Wrapping his fingers among Luke’s again, Sawyer longed to dip his head and taste Luke’s mouth, but he knew there’d be time for that later.

“Sawyer, I’ve fought my real feelings since before my mother died. And for years after that, I clung to what I thought were her wishes. I let the pain and humiliation doled out on me rule my heart and my actions. But coming here to Torey Hope, meeting you, it made me start questioning everything. Finding that letter from my mom was like a little sign from her that I needed to pull myself together and really start living.”

Sawyer ran his hands through Luke’s hair, ignoring the desire to fist it and pull the other man’s mouth to his own. “You haven’t answered all of my questions, Luke.”

“Am I ready to take our physical relationship that last step? Yes.” Sawyer and Luke both took deep breaths and let their eyes meet over the words. Sawyer let his arms rest on Luke’s shoulders, his hands clasped behind his neck. When Luke didn’t continue, Sawyer raised an eyebrow and smirked.

Luke’s gruff, emotional whisper filled Sawyer’s ears, “Am I willing to take the last step and let myself become part of your family? Again, yes.”

Sawyer’s heart flip-flopped in his chest; in his dreams he’d imagined this happening if he waited patiently enough, but in his reality he’d known that Luke would possibly never be able to move beyond the emotional and physical pain he’d endured. Standing, pulling Luke up with him, Sawyer took in the hard planes of their bodies flush against each other, their almost equal heights putting their heated eyes level with each other, their breathing increasing as anticipation filled the room.

Sexual tension and heartfelt emotion crackled between them. Gripping the back of Luke’s head, Sawyer leaned his forehead against the other man’s and breathed deeply. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Luke ran his hands up the back of Sawyer’s torso, reaching his shoulders and hooking his arms around him to hold him steady. Nipping at Sawyer’s bottom lip, he soothed the sting with his tongue; when Sawyer’s hips reflexively jerked, causing their hard lengths to grind together, Luke slammed his mouth down on Sawyer’s. Each man fought for control of the kiss. Lips, tongues, teeth, Luke muscled Sawyer against the wall, thrusting his hips hard and earning a guttural groan from the other man.

“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking, Sawyer. I want you, I need you, I want to be yours.” With another punishing kiss against his mouth, Luke whispered again, “
I want to be yours.”

Sawyer sank into the wall, raising his hands above his head in total surrender, “Luke, I belong to you, I am yours completely.” When the other man went to his knees, Sawyer almost fell to his. Luke made quick work of Sawyer’s pants and boxer briefs. Grasping Sawyer’s hard length in his fist, Luke dipped his head to lick the already tightening sac before trailing his tongue up the shaft; when he reached the swollen head, he swirled his tongue around right before he took the entire length in to his warm wet mouth.

Not wanting to finish Sawyer off too quickly, he popped off and stood up to press him hard into the wall with his hips. Their rock hard erections rubbed together almost painfully. Biting at Sawyer’s lip, Luke gripped the other man’s cock and gruffly whispered, “I know
you
are
mine
, Sawyer, but
I
want to be
completely yours
. I want you, I want
this
.” He tightened his fist around Sawyer’s erection. “Inside me. Now.”

Wanting to believe him, but not wanting to pressure him into anything, Sawyer groaned and threw his head back hard against the wall. Trying to think rationally while his steely cock was caught in the vice grip of Luke’s hand, Sawyer gritted his teeth and spoke in pants, “Luke, you need to be sure. I want to sink into your body; I want to be where no one has ever been; I want to own you body, heart, and soul. But, I need you 100% on this; once I take you, I don’t think I will be able to give you up.”

“Sawyer, my body craves you. I’ve been inside you, felt your heat and the way your body hugs mine. I want to give that to you; I want you to fill me, take me.” He stepped back and waited in front of Sawyer; waited for the other man to accept his offer and make a move.

Sawyer stepped out of his clothes, throwing his shirt to the side. Lifting a rough hand to caress Luke’s face, he looked deep into his eyes; his heart swelled when he saw complete surrender in Luke’s eyes. “Luke, I love you; I think I’ve loved you since the night I busted your lip open. I want to take you, own you, love you.” Kissing him softly, reverently, Sawyer maneuvered them towards the bed.

“This can’t be quick. I’ll take my time getting you ready.” Kissing Luke quickly on the lips, he removed his shirt and pushed him down on the bed. Landing with a flop, Luke gazed up at Sawyer with such adoration and trust, Sawyer had to take a moment to steady himself. Leaning in to kiss down Luke’s torso, he let his tongue trace the Vs which disappeared beneath his waistband. Biting his own lip, Sawyer slowly unfastened Luke’s jeans and slid them roughly down his legs. Once his boxers were removed, Sawyer grabbed the lube and began his work. Sliding his mouth around Luke’s cock, he massaged the area he most longed to be.

“More, I want more Sawyer.” Luke panted from beneath him.

“Kiss me.” He wanted to distract the other man from the potential pain. Sawyer smiled when Luke grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to devour his mouth. Never letting his finger stop stretching the other man, Sawyer gradually added another finger, feeling Luke’s body spread to accept the intrusion.

“Oh, God, Sawyer…,” Luke’s voice broke and Sawyer worried it was too much for him; if he couldn’t adjust to Sawyer’s fingers, he’d need a lot more time before he could take any other part of him.