Say You'll Stay (7 page)

He doesn’t know? “I’m . . . well . . . I’m sorta back here for a while.”

I shouldn’t be surprised that he doesn’t know. Wyatt was always the guy who ignored the town gossip. He’s the youngest of the Hennington brothers and was always into trouble. He and Trent were always creating some kind of town uproar while—the other brother—was on the field. And I was in the bleachers.

“I feel like I’m missing something.” His light brown eyes study me as if he were trying to solve a puzzle.

“I honestly can’t believe no one told you.” My mother isn’t one to blab anyone’s business, but she and my father leaving town for a week would’ve been big news. Especially if they were heading to the city.

His brow furrows. “Heard what?”

I might as well get it out now. “Four months ago, my husband passed away.”

He steps forward and places his hands on my shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Pres.” Wyatt’s voice is filled with compassion. “I’d heard something, but you know how it is here. I figured it was bullshit.”

I wish that were the case. I shrug him off and let out a heavy sigh. “It’s true. He died, and it turns out we were struggling financially. So, I’m here. Back where I swore I’d never be again.”

“You know you love it here.” His grin tells me he knows I’d rather be homeless.

“Oh, yeah.” I roll my eyes. “It’s paradise.”

He laughs and then raises his brow. “Well, it’s something. You should probably get dressed before some of the handlers get here. They’re not used to this view.”

“Huh?” I look at my tiny shorts and tank top—with no bra. Immediately my hands cross over my chest. “I’m off to a great start.”

“I’ll see you around, Presley Townsend. Homecoming queen. Thank you for returning and reminding us of your beauty.” He clutches his heart and laughs as he walks away.

“Jerk!”

Mama’s standing at the door with a blank expression. It’s way too early for this. I can feel her eyes studying me. “Wyatt’s grown to be a good man.” My mother always wished it were Wyatt I loved. Our parents practically tried an arranged marriage.

“Mama,” I warn. “Don’t.”

She smiles with her hands in the air. “I’m not sayin’ a thing.”

It’s what she’s not saying that has me worried. She doesn’t believe in a woman being without a man. She met my daddy when they were eleven and told him they were going to be together forever. He laughed and walked away. The next day some boy threw a rock at her, he punched him, and they’ve been together since. Daddy tells it different, but my mother says a woman knows. I can remember feeling the same way at twelve. Seeing
him
and knowing we’d be married someday. Then he left me. Just like Todd. I’ll never do this again.

“It hasn’t even been six months since Todd died. I’m in no way ready. I have to battle to get to sleep and I have to pry myself out of bed every morning.”

Her hand rests on my forearm. “I’m just sayin’ it would be good to have a friend. I feel like there are demons you’re battling, sugar. You need to have a shoulder to cry on.”

I don’t want friends here. I don’t want to
be
here. This town will slowly close in on me again. There’s no way I’m residing here long enough to warrant trying to be nice to anyone. I have to keep my vision clear. Make some money, get out of the immense debt, and get back to my life.

“I’m not the most popular person here, Mama. And I don’t need any friends. I have enough back home.”

“This is your home.” The hurt in her voice is clear.

I sigh. “I didn’t mean . . .”

“Presley, I’ve been understanding that you’re not happy about this. But it’ll be better if you make peace with your life now. I’m not happy that Todd dying and you havin’ no money is what brought you back to Bell Buckle, but I’d be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t glad to have you back. I’ll let you keep your secrets because every woman has them.” She looks away. “Just know I’m here.”

“It’s not that simple.”

My mother’s eyes close as she lets out a breath. “I wish you would talk to me. You give me half answers. Your father and I want to help you. Cooper too.”

Right.

“Like I said, Mama. I’m here to get on my feet.”

“It makes no sense that you lost everything, Presley. Didn’t y’all save?”

“Mama, please.” I’m not ready to tell her. I’m not ready to admit this to anyone. My parents would never understand this. Hell, I don’t understand it. “I don’t want to talk about all this. The sooner we can get out of Bell Buckle the better.”

“Why do you hate it here so much?” Mama asks with a tinge of anger. “Were we that bad of parents?”

“God, no!” I say quickly. “I never wanted to be a rancher or live out in the country. I wanted to live in the city, have a different life. It wasn’t you or Daddy.”

“Is it about Zachary? Is he what kept you away all these years?”

My breathing stops at hearing his name. It’s been seventeen years since I saw his face, but it still hurts. “No.” That’s not entirely true, but I won’t allow myself to go down a road that has a caution sign glaring at me. Shattered glass, shredded metal, and broken bones are what wait for me if I let my heart go back there. I loved him so much.

Her eyes tell me she doesn’t believe me. “You know he—”

“I don’t want to hear it.” I don’t need to hear anything about him. He doesn’t exist in my life anymore.

Mama’s lips purse and her head shakes. “All right then. Just know that I love you and I’ll always be here to listen.”

“Thanks, Mama.”

“Now,” she says, wiping her hands on her apron. “Why don’t you whip up those eggs while I get the bacon going?”

Thankful for her dropping the subject, I smile and get to work. Now, to figure out how I’m going to stop everyone I see from bringing him up. That’s the thing about young love in a small town—it never dies.

The rest of the day passes with the boys off with Cooper. He promised them a day of fun. They wanted to see the ranch, and Cooper was all too happy to not have to see me. He had big dreams and he blames me for crushing them, but it’s time to get over it. We’re going to have to deal with this—and soon. I’ve been going over all the books trying to make sense of Cooper’s accounting methods, which is difficult since a lot of his bookkeeping is on Post-it notes.

I start tossing around papers, and folders tumble to the ground. Awesome.

As I’m gathering my mess, I hear the screen door shut. “One second,” I call out from my spot on the floor.

“You need help, baby girl?”

I stand with my arms full and almost drop them again. “I’m okay, Daddy.”

“Are you?”

No. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Okay.” He clearly doesn’t believe me. “Cooper hasn’t done much with this side of the business. I know I’m retired, but would you let me know if he screwed up real bad?”

I don’t think that’s really why he’s here, but it’s sweet. My dad and I were always close when I was a kid. I was the only girl, and he hung the moon. “Of course, Daddy. I’ll make sense of it soon.”

“You were always the one with the brains,” he chortles.

“Well.” I stop. “Not when it comes to certain things.”

Daddy nods with a knowing grin. “Boys were always your downfall, sugar. But I think you got it right with my grandbabies.”

Yeah, I sure did. They’re great boys with a lot of love to give. “I was lucky with them.”

“Nah.” He waves his hand. Daddy walks over to a shelf where all my rodeo ribbons and trophies are. “Remember how mad your mama would get when I’d take you out to practice?”

“I do. She would refuse to let you eat anything she cooked for the day.”

My mother’s sister died when she was a little girl from a riding accident. My mother was dead set against me barrel racing, but my father would sneak me out. It was in my blood, my mind, and it lived deep in my heart. I think my father saw that and knew I would find a way regardless of what my mama wanted.

It was our thing. We’d wake up real early and ride out to the edge of the property. Cooper and Daddy had their hunting and crap, but the bond between me and my father was special. At least I thought so.

My father’s eyes pierce me. “I would’ve gone hungry if it meant I got to see your smile when you rode.”

“Daddy,” I murmur.

“None of that.” He looks away.

I come around the desk, place my hand on his shoulder, and squeeze. “Maybe we could go for a ride?”

His eyes fill with joy as he looks at me.

Finally, after a second he answers, “I think we could arrange something.”

“Good.” I smile. “Let me know.”

“How about tomorrow?” he asks with hope laced in his voice.

“Perfect.”

Daddy pulls me into his arms. “I’ve missed you, darlin’. I missed you so much.”

I grab on, holding him close and fighting back the tears. It feels good having a sense of forgiveness between me and my parents. I didn’t realize how much I needed it. They love me, and they love the boys. My desire to keep away was never fully about them though. It was about the town, the feeling of failure, and the whispers about how I belonged with Zach. There’s not a place I turn here that doesn’t remind me of him, which means that my parents, Cooper, and this town are all tied to him. And he made it clear he didn’t want to be tied to me when he made the choice to leave me. Now I need to find a new rope to hold on to.

“W
HY WOULD YOU DO THIS,
Todd? Why would you choose to leave us like that?”

“I thought I was helping.” His sad voice washes over me.

I look at him, only now I see him differently. This time I notice the sadness around his eyes. The way he really doesn’t look at me, more like through me. My tears fall when I see the pain I’m feeling reflected back at me.

“It hurts so much. I’m so angry with you,” I tell him as we sit on our knees.

Todd sits beside me and cries as well. “I’m angry with me. I wish I could’ve been a better man. I tried so hard to make things right, but I couldn’t do it anymore, Pres. I couldn’t keep going.”

“Not even for me? Or for Logan and Cayden?” I ask through my sobs.

“I miss them. I knew I would, but I would’ve failed them far worse if I stayed.”

“No!” I shake my head in denial. “You broke us! I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never felt so alone or scared.”

His hand rises as if he’s going to touch my cheek, but drops it. “You’ll be fine, my love. You were always so strong. So beautiful. I left knowing you’d be okay.”

“You left us with nothing!” My emotions ping pong back and forth as I try to get my answers. “I had to leave our home, our lives have been flipped upside down. Do you know what this has done to the boys? You were selfish to think this was the answer. You had options!”

Todd’s tears fall as he listens to my weeps. “I knew you’d hate me. But I knew you’d move on. You’ll be fine, Presley.”

“Do you think I’m fine? I’m not fine, Todd! Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

His lips purse. “Would you have listened?”

These dreams are killing me. Each night it’s something. It’s been a week since we’ve been at the ranch and I haven’t slept peacefully once. I sit up with tears running down my face—tears of rage.

Rage that he did this.

That he gave me so much and then took it away. I loved him for so long, and now I feel like I never knew him. It would’ve been difficult for him to face the mess he put us in, but those two boys sleeping in the other room were all the reason he needed.

They don’t deserve this. And for the pain he inflicted on them . . . I’ll never forgive him.

I grab my phone to check the time.
Ugh, three in the morning.
I’ll never be able to fall back asleep. I get up, grab my phone, and head out to walk off the anxiety building inside me.

My mind races with my dream conversation with him.
Would I have listened?
What the hell is that? I comprehend this was a dream and this is all in my mind, but that last line has my stomach in knots.

As my feet carry me, my thoughts begin to settle. My anger abates, and I’m left with the knowledge that it was just a dream. A very vivid dream, but it wasn’t real.

I find myself standing in front of the stall of my beautiful horse. “Hi, Casino.” I smile as he walks toward the door. “Sorry I haven’t been here to see you.” His head comes over the opening and I rub his nose. “Aww, I missed you too. You look tired, boy. Are they taking good care of you, huh?”

He’s so much older now, as am I, but I can’t help but travel back in time. I got him the year before I left for college. I think my parents hoped I would stay close to home for him. I spent hours training him between Zach’s ball games.

Life was simple then. School, horses, Zach, and leaving here as soon as I could. I worked hard to get into the college where Zach was on a full ride. I promised him I would go where he went after two years of long distance, we’d have a few years together, and then he’d enter the draft. I kept my end of the deal. Followed through on it all. He promised me eternal love and broke it with one decision. Funny how that works.

I rub Casino’s neck, soothing both him and me.