Sebastian: The Complete Series (22 page)

“No.” Robert shook his head, rubbing my thigh gently. “I don’t even know your surname. I just… it’s kind of easy to see, Seb. For me anyway. I know what to look for, I know the signs on your body.” He ran his fingertip over my nails and I nodded, remembering the last time he told me about my health. “Have you been bringing back your food, or is it not eating at all?”

“I don’t… I don’t make myself vomit, that all stopped when I was fifteen. I just, I don’t even know I'm doing it. I don’t feel hungry, I just don’t want food.”

“You feel out of control everywhere else.”

“You don’t have to give me this speech. Trust me, I've heard it before, and from a lot of specialists. I know why I'm doing this. It’s something I can control when nothing else around me can be. I just didn’t… I didn’t see it this time.”

Looking back, it had been coming for a long time. I'd slowly been reducing my food, weighing myself more, checking the fit of my clothes. I knew I'd lost weight in the last month—weight I didn’t need to lose, but I hid it well. The trouble was, I had to be naked for my job, and it wasn’t going to go unnoticed for long. “I'm sorry.”

“Don’t apologise to me. There’s no need.” Robert took me in his arms and held me tightly. After a long time of just holding each other, he sighed and kissed my head. “I don’t need to tell you how dangerous drinking the amount of alcohol you did after two days with no food is. I know you're not stupid, but this was serious, Seb. Promise me you won't do this again, no matter how tough things get, there’s always another way. You have good friends around you who obviously love you a lot, and I'm always here for you.”

I nodded in his chest. “I didn’t mean to do get so drunk. They both tried to stop me, but they didn’t know I hadn't eaten in so long. I'm sorry for calling you, and I'm sorrier I don’t remember what I said.”

Robert helped me to my feet and hugged me to him while we walked back into my room. I heard the apartment door opening and my stomach did a U-turn, growling loudly.

Robert laughed against my neck. “Slip on a t-shirt and let’s eat.”

A
fter eating two burgers, a large portion of fries and a full milkshake, I felt better and full of sugar. I was aware Robert tried hard not to watch every mouthful I took, but his eyes still slid to my mouth far too many times. It was either caused by his need to see me eat or the desire I made him feel when I sucked on my fingers. I think both applied actually.

Leigh was talkative, but Harry kept his mouth firmly shut except when he took a bite of food. He was dying to be all fatherish and ask Robert what his intentions were, I could see it playing on his face. When we’d finished and everyone was convinced I was okay to be vertical, I dragged Robert into the hall with me and pressed him up against the wall. “I'm getting in the shower, and you can either join me, or you can hang around with Harry and let him give you ‘the talk.’ What do want to do?” I kissed his firm lips before biting down on his bottom one.

He pressed me backwards, holding my shoulders while he gazed down into my eyes. “I think I’ll wait for you in the bedroom.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you’ve had a rough morning and any kind of excitement is going to make the alcohol rush around your body again. That mixed with hot water… It’s not a good idea, Seb.”

“Is that the only reason why you don’t want to fuck me anymore? Or is it because we’re here, and I'm not a paid wh—”

Robert slammed his hand over my mouth. “Don’t… just don’t say it.” His emotional eyes didn’t show me what I thought I would see when I looked into them. They made me feel like a big shit because I could see the pain I just caused running through his body in waves. “I’ll be in your room. I have to make some calls, so don’t rush. And keep the water cool, I don’t want you to get overheated. If you feel dizzy, then kneel down and call me.”

“And then what?” I called after him as he started for my room. “Then what happens, Robert?”

Robert stood still, pausing while he thought before turning to look me dead on in the eyes. “That’s what I came here to find out. What happens next.” He gave me a small smile which didn’t reach his eyes then shrugged. “Go have your shower. We’ll talk about it when you get out.”

As soon as he moved his sexy arse into the bedroom, I closed my eyes and calmed myself. There was no need to jump down his throat like that. I didn’t have to make this such a big issue, but… it was a big fucking issue. He was here because he was concerned about me, because he wanted to be with me. It wasn’t like he’d called me up and booked a hotel then pined me to the bed, took his freebie and left.

He’d driven here in the early hours of the morning, dropping whatever plans he had, maybe even work, then looked after me, offered me support, even declined a shower and what would have been amazing sex. Sex we hadn't had in over two weeks. Sex I was actually desperate for. I was hard before I even stripped off my clothes and stepped into the shower cubicle.

As soon as the cool water hit my flesh, I sighed in relief, bracing my palms on the tiles, bowing my head to my chest and letting the water bounce over my back while the cool temperature did wonders to my hangover. It didn’t help my erection, but the pleasure I got from the power shower was good enough right then. Besides, I had the sexiest man alive waiting for me in my room. Why do it myself when I had company to do it for me?

I smelled a lot better when I got out, felt a ton better too. I dried my hair roughly with a towel and hung another one around my hips before I walked across the hall to my room. I actually paused outside, looking at the door and thinking if I should go in with so little on.

“What's up? You okay?” Harry was leaning over the back of the sofa in the sitting room and looking over my dripping body. “You know, if you feel uncomfortable with this, I’ll make sure he leaves.”

Robert was twice as big as Harry, but I knew that wouldn’t stop him from trying. “I know you would, but I'm okay. It’s just… you know.”

“Free?”

“Harry!”

“I'm not wrong.”

“No… that’s not it.”

“Liar.” Harry turned back to the newspaper he had on his lap.

I flung open the door, finding Robert still dressed in his dark suit, but his tie was now loose and his top two buttons on his cream shirt were undone. He looked sexy as sin, a temptation I could never resist. He was leaning against the wall, looking out of the window at the canal which ran beside the apartment block below us. He was on his phone, obviously listening to someone when he turned to look at me, those dark eyes of his casting a slow, hungry look over every inch of my damp body.

Well, at least he still found me attractive after seeing me at my worst. That boosted my self-esteem a bit.

“Excuse me a moment.” Robert took the phone from his ear and covered the speaker. “I'm sorry. I had to take this.” He grinned at me. “You look delicious.” I chuckled at him as I made my way closer to him. “I left a friend of mine covering a case. I won't be a minute.”

“That’s fine with me. Knock yourself out.” I ran my hands down the lapels of his suit jacket and smiled up at him. I was only inches from him and I wanted to close that gap and press myself up at him. When I met his eyes, his pupils were fuller, and his lids had dropped, giving him that sexy ‘I’m going to bend you over and fuck you hard’ look. So much better than the ‘come to bed’ look other men had.

“Sebastian…”

I kissed him quickly, then pulled back and grinned. “Your friend is waiting.”

He glanced at the phone in his hand like he’d forgotten it was there, and then held it to his ear again. “I'm sorry, Jacob. Where did we leave off?” Robert ran his fingertip down my jaw before following the outline of my lips. I opened my mouth and licked his fingertip, placing my hand over his cock at the same time and chuckling softly to myself when I felt it jerk. “No, it’s not a bad time for me. Just…” I sucked his finger to the back of my throat and twirled my tongue around it. I could hear his friend talking, maybe laughing. “Jacob, if you're not able to take this seriously, then I can find another surgeon who will.”

I stared up at him, pressing my hips to his and placing my lips on his neck before kissing him softly up to his jaw, letting him and his friend talk while I concentrated on getting him breathless and his cock out of his pants.

“That all sounds fine.” Robert was a little… tense? It came across in his voice and the guy on the other end of the phone laughed loudly. It made me chuckle again, because he obviously knew something was up. “Give me a second.” Robert held the phone to his chest and sucked in a deep breath. “Sebastian, honestly.” He took my hand from his cock with a big smile. “Baby, just… he knows we’re up to something.”

“What’s this
we
? You're doing jack shit.
I'm
the one doing all the work.”

His friend laughed and we both looked at the phone and saw Robert hadn’t covered the speaker.

“Shit!” Robert thrust the phone back to his ear. “Jacob, just… fuck off.”

I was on my knees and pushing him up against the window, unzipping his pants while he tried to stop me and not sound too breathless over the phone.

“If you have any actual questions for me, then spit them out.” Robert took the phone from his mouth and hissed as I freed his cock and slid my hand up and down his length. “There really needs to be a point to this conversation, Jay. A good one.” He paused and I could hear his friend talking, then Robert tensed, his whole body stiffening as I swept my tongue over his leaking head for the first time.

I groaned when he couldn't, then wrapped my lips over his head, working my mouth over him, and watching him glaring at me.

He actually talked through it after a moment, and not just talk, but big long important medical-sounding words which made me suck him harder just to see if he faltered. He did when I took him to the back of my throat. In fact, he almost dropped the phone. I was grinning when I pulled off him.

“I’m already there,” he said to his friend as he looked down at me. He took hold of my chin and tilted his cock back in my mouth. “It’s too late for that to change. I don’t want it to… I know it will do. I’ll make sure it does.” He bit his lip and swelled in my mouth as I worked my throat over his thick length. “I've got to go, Jay,” he breathed out and got a chuckle from his friend, who I liked already without even meeting.

Robert swiped his phone off and tossed it on the bed behind us. “Sebastian!” He fisted both hands in my hair and began to move his hips, working with my every stroke. “Don’t stop, baby. I'm close.”

Like he could stop me. I moved faster, sliding my lips over his cock so fast my head was a blur. He cried out, tightening his grip in my hair as he came hard and fast in my mouth. I slowly released him and rested my head on his thigh while we both caught our breath. My cock was hard under the towel I had on, but it was only then I really noticed it aching for his touch.

“That wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said quietly as he stroked my damp hair back from my face. “I didn’t want this to be about sex.”

“I had a feeling you didn’t, but I didn’t care. I want you. You want me. That won't change no matter what.” I looked up at him, enjoying how tall he was as he towered above me. “I never cared about the money, not with you. It was never something I wanted from you. You were enough. Just you.”

He slipped to his knees beside me, holding me by the shoulders and kissing me tenderly before he pulled away with a sigh. “I always think about if things could have been different, if we’d met somewhere else, but in the end, it never mattered how, it only mattered we met at all. It wouldn’t have changed how I wanted you, or how I had to leave the next day. Maybe we would never have met again. I'm pretty sure you wouldn’t have been at that wedding with your friend if you weren’t an escort.”

That was true, but would he have just left like he did our first time if I hadn't been paid for the night? “Would you have just left that first time if you’d just picked me up? You wouldn’t have left me a number or wanted to meet up again?”

Robert smiled. “I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure. The whole night threw me. I’d never met anyone like you. Never wanted anyone so desperately. It concerned me.” He chuckled. “It would have to be you.”

“You said those same words to me to me our first time. Why? Because of the escort thing or just me as a person?”

Robert chewed the inside of his mouth, wincing almost as he thought about the right thing to say to me.

“Just be honest, Robert.”

“Right then… both.”

“Okay.”

“I didn’t know you like I do now.”

“You wanted to pay me and leave, right?” When he paused again, I punched his arm and sat back. “Just be fucking honest with me.”

“The first couple of times we met up, yes.” Just because I'd asked for honesty, didn’t make it hurt any less. “Please, just listen, let me explain. I wanted you like no one else I'd ever met, right from the first night, but I thought it couldn't ever be more, not with your job and you being so young and… everything.”

I tutted loudly.

Robert groaned. “I had a speech planned and you cocked it up.”

“What the… How did
I
cock it up?” I stood up, then sat on the bed and glared at him.

“You made my brain shut off with that amazing blow job.” He crawled over to me, kneeling in front of me, ripping open the towel and opening my thighs. “Maybe I should try that on you, see how you feel.”

“I don’t need any more reasons to be stupid today.” I tried to close my legs, but he kept them open with his meaty paws.

“One more can't hurt.” He grinned up at me. “It’s only fair I get to enjoy having you in my mouth too.”

“Can we just…” I can't believe I said this next. Even now. “Can we just talk? I really just… I need to know what’s going on between us, Robert. I need to feel like I’ve got something under control in my life and this will help.”

He moved to sit next to me, running his hand automatically down my back and looking at my body in more assessing way.

I shoved him from me and wrapped the towel around my hips again. “Don’t do that. I look fine. More than fine. I'm gorgeous.”

“You are.” Robert laughed. “You’re the sexiest thing I've ever laid my eyes on.” He pulled me down and we lay spooning on the bed, his chest pressed tightly to my back and his big arms holding me to him like he was afraid I was going to run off at any moment. “Do you feel better with some food inside you?”