Secrets According to Humphrey (14 page)

I was cheered up quite a bit when Tall-Paul stopped by my cage.

“Guess what, Humphrey
?
My parents are getting me a hamster!” He had a huge smile on his face. “You convinced them and they kept it a secret all this time! I'm getting it this weekend. Thanks!”

“You're welcome,” I said.

It would be nice to be a pet for just one child. But I think it's even better to be the pet for a whole classroom.

After school, I was about to grab my notebook and write down my thoughts, when the door opened and Ms. Mac came in.

“Hi, Humphrey,” she said. “You had a big week. It was great to see you on TV last night.”

I
had been on TV, too!

“I'm sure you miss Phoebe, the way I missed you when I left Room Twenty-six and went to Brazil.”

“I was SAD-SAD-SAD!!!” I squeaked.

“I told you how I've missed having a classroom pet,” she said.

I don't know why, but her voice sounded . . . different.

“So, I finally made a decision and got a pet for Room Twelve. Not a hamster, of course,” she said. “No hamster could ever be as wonderful as you are. So I got . . . a guinea pig!”

“Eeek!” I shouted.

“BOING-BOING!” Og yelled.

“Calm down,” she said with a smile. “I'm only thinking of my students. As you know, you can learn a lot about yourself by taking care of another species.”

That was something Ms. Mac told me when she first brought me to Room 26. And I've tried hard to be the best classroom pet I could.

“Gigi is a very nice guinea pig,” she said. “I'll take you in to meet her sometime. Maybe you can give her some tips.”

Gigi
?
A
her
?

“I'll try,” I said, even though my heart was hurting a tiny bit.

Ms. Mac glanced at her watch. “The bad news is, I've got to go meet a friend across town. I can't leave Gigi in the car, so she's going to have to spend the night in my classroom,” she said. “Just like you did when I left.”

It was lonely without Ms. Mac and it didn't help that my heart was broken.

She got up to leave, but she turned back.

“I almost forgot,” she said. “I brought you a little present. I thought it might be time for a new one.”

Without another word, she opened my cage and stuck a brand-new tiny notebook behind my mirror.

And she left.

I sat and thought.

The room grew dark and I thought some more.

“Og, did I ever tell you that my first night alone here in Room Twenty-six was unsqueakably scary
?
” I asked my neighbor.

“BOING!” Og seemed surprised.

“That was before you came,” I said. “And I had no idea what a classroom pet does.”

Og dived into the water side of his tank.

“Gigi probably doesn't know the first thing about being a classroom pet, either,” I said.

Og splashed loudly in his tank.

Soon I heard the RATTLE-RATTLE-RATTLE of Aldo's cleaning cart and the lights came on.

“Hello, my friends,” Aldo said as he entered Room 26 wearing a big smile. “I have good news! There were no mice in the traps. And nobody got into my trash bags. So maybe the problem is solved.”

I was as relieved as Aldo was about the mice.

As far as I was concerned, he would NEVER-EVER-EVER find a broken trash bag again!

After he left, the room was dark again. I heard the loud ticking of the clock.

I remember how that sound scared me on my first night in Room 26.

I opened the lock-that-doesn't-lock and hurried across the table. “Og, maybe I should at least say hello to Gigi. She must be feeling a little lonely,” I said. “I'll give her your regards.”

“BOING-BOING!” It sounded as if Og agreed.

So I slid down the leg of our table, as I have so many times before, and scampered to Room 12. When I got there, the room was so dark I couldn't see a thing.

But I could smell a brand-new smell.

Gigi.

“Gigi
?
” I squeaked. “Don't be afraid. I'm your friend. My name is Humphrey and I'm one of the classroom pets in Room Twenty-six. We also have a frog named Og. He told me to say ‘Hi' from him, too. Oh, and I'm a friend of Ms. Mac's.”

I heard a very soft “Squeak, squeak.”

And I knew that meant “Hi, Humphrey.”

I never knew I spoke Guinea Pig!

I moved a little closer and saw a dark figure huddled in the corner of a cage. I think Gigi was shaking.

“You're unsqueakably lucky to be a classroom pet—especially in Ms. Mac's class,” I told her. “And you'll have a wonderful time with your classmates. I hope you get to go home with them on the weekends. They'll have problems you'll help them solve and you'll work hard.”

Gigi squeaked again.

“In the end, you'll have the best time a hamster or guinea pig ever had. And you know what—you'll make a difference,” I told her.

By then, my eyes had adjusted to the light and I could see Gigi. She was quite a bit larger than I am. And I saw that she'd stopped shaking. But she was still in the corner.

“I'm going back to Room Twenty-six now, but I'll come visit you again some night, and if you have any questions, I might be able to give you some tips,” I said.

“Thanks,” Gigi said in a soft voice.

I was almost to the door when I remembered something.

I turned back toward Gigi's cage. “Oh, and you might want to try jiggling the lock on your cage,” I said. “Just in case you have a lock-that-doesn't-lock, too.”

Who knows
?
She might have big adventures outside of her cage like me.

HUMPHREY'S TOP SECRET SCRIBBLES
Friendships like Phoebe's never ever end.
But there's always room for a brand-new friend.

Humphrey's Tips About Keeping and Telling Secrets

1.
Some secrets are okay, such as a surprise party that everybody knows about except the guest of honor. And that person will find out anyway! Surprise!

2.
If you're planning a gift for someone, it's FINE-FINE-FINE to keep it a secret. It won't be a secret forever, and it's something nice.

3.
Secrets that make you feel bad or scared or bothered are NOT good to keep and you should tell somebody, like a parent or a teacher.

4.
Secrets that leave others out—and hurt people's feelings—are definitely not good. Don't do that! You wouldn't like that!

5.
Hurtful gossip—which means bad things people say about others behind their backs—should not be shared with others, unless it's something that scares or worries you. Then, tell a grown-up.

6.
Secret notebooks are fine, but sometimes they get found by the wrong person, so don't write anything you wouldn't want someone else to see.

7.
Secrets that make you not safe aren't good to keep.

8.
Secret locks-that-don't-lock aren't a good idea, unless you're an adventurous hamster!

9.
If you accidentally find out someone else's happy secret, keep it to yourself. Let the person with the secret share it at the right time.

10.
Here's the thing: Tell an adult about
any
secret (or anything else) that bothers you and don't do anything to make someone else feel bad. That's it!

Photo © Frank Birney

Betty G. Birney
has written episodes for numerous children's television shows, including
The New
Adventures of Madeline
,
Doug
, and
Bobby's World,
as well as after-school specials and a television movie,
Mary Christmas
. She has won many awards for her television work, including an Emmy, three Humanitas Prizes, and a Writers Guild of America Award.

In addition to the Humphrey books, she is the author of
The Seven Wonders of Sassafras Springs
and
The Princess and the Peabodys.

A native of St. Louis, Missouri, Betty lives in Los Angeles with her husband, an actor.

Find fun Humphrey activities and teachers' guides at
www.bettygbirney.com