Secrets According to Humphrey (5 page)

Even though I hadn't gotten to the end, I was pretty sure their secret message said, “WE LOVE HUMPHREY.”

How could I have thought they didn't care
?

My whiskers wiggled with joy.

Phoebe and Kelsey burst back into the room, happily chattering away.

“Hi, Humphrey! Gran said popcorn isn't good for hamsters, but I brought you this,” Phoebe said.

She slid a small piece of broccoli between the bars of my cage.

“THANKS-THANKS-THANKS!” I squeaked.

Now I knew for sure that Phoebe and Kelsey loved me!

The girls giggled and went back to talking about ancient Egypt.

“Let's make a club—just the two of us,” Kelsey suggested.

“With a secret name,” Phoebe said. “And a secret handshake.”

It was pretty funny to watch them come up with a handshake. They crossed arms and hopped up and down.

They even tried doing it with their backs to each other.

Once, they got all twisted up like pretzels. Of course, they giggled hysterically.

Then they worked on a secret name. At first, they talked about taking the beginning letters of Kelsey's name and the last letters of Phoebe's name.

“The Kel-be Club
?
” Phoebe said. “That doesn't sound like anything from
Secrets of the Nile
.”

Kelsey nodded. “You're right. Hey, what about something to do with the Nile
?
The Nile Girls
?
”

Phoebe thought for a second. “Sisters of the Nile
?
”

“Yay!” Kelsey clapped her hands in delight. “Sisters of the Nile! I love it. Let's shake on it.”

Phoebe and Kelsey were very serious as they crossed their arms in front of them, shook both hands three times and bowed their heads.

So that was the secret handshake—and it wasn't a secret anymore!

“That's good for meetings, but if people see us do the handshake, it won't be a secret anymore,” Kelsey said. “We need a secret signal for school,” she continued. “Something no one will notice except us.”

They tried some pretty silly signals, but they finally decided on this: wave with the right hand, wiggle your fingers and wink.

I tried it and believe me, it's not easy, especially because I have to stop and think which is my right paw and which is my left. And I have four paws to keep track of.

Once I had that figured out, I tried to wiggle my fingers. Of course, I don't have fingers, so I had to wiggle my toes.

Hamsters don't usually wink (except for a hamster I know named Winky), but I tried it a few times and found I could do that, too.

I guess Phoebe saw me practicing.

“I think Humphrey's trying the secret greeting,” she said. “Maybe we should let him in the club.”

Kelsey giggled. “Don't be silly. He doesn't know the secret
word
—remember
?
”

She whispered in her friend's ear and Phoebe nodded.

Then Kelsey added, “Anyway, we're Sisters of the Nile and he's a boy. Besides, he's a hamster!”

Suddenly, my whiskers wilted and I didn't feel so great.

I went back into my sleeping hut to think things over.

I stayed there a long time, but I didn't sleep.

The next day, Phoebe watched me spin on my wheel and let me roll around her room in my hamster ball.

Later, she and her grandmother sat in front of the computer and talked to Phoebe's mom.

“Kelsey and I dressed up like mummies! And we started a club called Sisters of the Nile. We even have a secret signal! I'll show you.” Phoebe waved her right hand, wiggled her fingers and winked.

Phoebe's mom laughed.

She wasn't actually in the house. She was FAR-FAR-FAR away in the army.

Phoebe's dad was in the army, too. Phoebe's mom said he'd call the next night.

“The club sounds fun. What else is new
?
” Phoebe's mom asked.

“Ooh, you'll never guess!
Humphrey's
here for the weekend!” Phoebe said.

Mom chuckled. “The famous Humphrey that you talk about all the time
?
”

Even though she was FAR-FAR-FAR away, she'd heard of me!

Phoebe took me out of the cage and held me right up to the camera.

“Greetings!” I squeaked and Phoebe's mom laughed.

I could see her now. She wore a camouflage uniform and had a really big smile.

“He's one handsome hamster,” she said.

What an unsqueakably smart human!

Phoebe put me back in the cage.

“He's a great hamster, but he's not in the club, because he's a boy and a hamster,” she explained.

Ouch! That still hurt. What's wrong with a girl who's a human being in a club with a boy who's a hamster
?

Phoebe kept on talking for a while and then she said, “I love you, Mom. Come home soon!”

After the call was over and we were alone, I heard Phoebe whisper, “Please, Mom and Dad.
Please come home soon
.”

HUMPHREY'S TOP SECRET SCRIBBLES
Secrets, secrets everywhere,
Make me think my friends don't care.

Secret Greetings, Secret Meetings

W
atch carefully, Og,” I told my froggy friend when Phoebe brought me back to Room 26 on Monday. “You might see some strange things going on.”

“BOING!” Og replied, which I think meant he was going to watch.

It wasn't long before Mrs. Brisbane opened the door to Room 26 and the students started coming in.

“Watch what Phoebe does when Kelsey comes in,” I squeaked to Og.

“BOING-BOING!” Og said.

“Hi, Humph!” Slow-Down-Simon said as he raced past my cage, in a hurry as always.

When Just-Joey came in, he walked straight to my cage.

“Hi, Humphrey,” he said. “Did you have a good weekend
?
Guess what—I saw a great TV show last night about elephants! Boy, do I want to see elephants in the wild someday.”

I've never seen an elephant but from what I've heard, they are MUCH-MUCH-MUCH bigger than dogs or even camels. I don't think I'd care to see one
anywhere . . .
especially not in the wild!

“BOING!” I don't think Og wanted to meet an elephant, either.

I looked at the door and saw Kelsey coming in. She headed for the cloakroom to take off her coat.

“Kelsey's here, Og. Be on the lookout,” I said.

Joey giggled when he heard our conversation. “Of course, I like hamsters and frogs the best,” he said.

He's one unsqueakably smart boy!

Just then Og sounded the alarm. “BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!”

Kelsey was walking toward Phoebe.

“Thanks! Now—watch!” I told my neighbor.

As I expected, Phoebe raised her right hand. Kelsey raised hers, too.

Then they wiggled their fingers and winked. Next, they giggled, which wasn't part of the secret signal.

“BOING!” Og sounded surprised.

“What's this for
?
” Rolling-Rosie raised her fingers and wiggled them, too.

“Oh, it's nothing,” Phoebe answered. “We were just waving.”

“It was more than that. Come on, tell me,” Rosie insisted.

“We can't,” Kelsey said. “It's a secret. A secret club.”

“Can I be in it
?
” Rosie asked.

Kelsey and Phoebe didn't answer right away.

Finally, Kelsey said, “If we let everybody in, it won't be a secret anymore.”

When Kelsey and Phoebe turned away, I could see how upset Rosie was.

“BOING-BOING!” Og said.

I don't think he liked what he saw, either.

“Og, it's a signal they planned at Phoebe's house,” I explained. I glanced at Og and I was pawsitive that he wasn't smiling.

SPLASH! He dived into the water side of his tank and began to swim.

I wasn't smiling, either.

I hopped on my wheel and began to spin as fast as I could.

The next morning before class began, Stop-Talking-Sophie came over to my cage. She does love to talk.

“Hi, Humphrey! Did you have a good sleep last night
?
I'll bet it's boring in here when we're gone. I hope I get to take you home soon,” she said.

She talked so fast, I couldn't get a squeak in.

Then Rolling-Rosie joined her. “Sophie, would you like to start a secret club
?
” she asked. “Just you and me
?
”

Sophie's eyes lit up. “Oh, yes! I'd love to!”

“Let's talk about it at lunchtime,” Rosie said.

As she rolled her wheelchair away, Sophie turned back to me. “Did you hear that
?
Isn't that great
?
”

“GREAT-GREAT-GREAT!” I agreed.

Sophie leaned in close to my cage. “I still miss my old school and my best friend there—Annie. I keep asking my parents if we can move back.”

I didn't know that Sophie was new to Longfellow School or that she missed her best friend.

“But if I have Rosie for a
new
best friend . . .” Sophie didn't finish because the bell rang and class began.

Mrs. Brisbane began the day with our HARD-HARD-HARD vocabulary words.

At least now I knew that
papyrus
was like paper and that
hieroglyphics
was a way to write.

And I knew that the
pyramids
were huge stone buildings and
pharaohs
were kings.

That didn't make those words any easier to spell, though.

Mrs. Brisbane gave my friends papers where they had to fill in the blanks with the right words.

Then she said, “Class, we're taking a little break from ancient Egypt. It's time to go to the library. If you have books to return, get them out now.”

My classmates took their library books and lined up.

Thomas had the most books. “Look, Mrs. Brisbane,” he said. “I've finished all of these.”

“I want to check out a mummy book,” Simon said.

“Me too!” Hurry-Up-Harry said. “And I'm going to get there first!”

Usually, Simon is three steps ahead of Harry, but this time Harry was right by his side.

Mrs. Brisbane smiled, and soon, Og and I were alone in the classroom again.

As much as I like Og, I would rather have gone to the library with my friends. I'm too small to reach the tall shelves, but I like looking up at row after row of books.

Tall books, small books, short books, long books. Books with pictures. Books without pictures. I only wished I could pick one out for myself.

Every day, Mrs. Brisbane read aloud to the class. That was my favorite time of day—especially when it was an unsqueakably exciting story!

When my friends came back, they were all clutching library books and chattering excitedly.

“I got a mummy book!” Simon shouted as he rushed into the room.

“I got one, too!” Harry held up his book.

“So did I!” Nicole waved her book under Mrs. Brisbane's nose. “See, there are great pictures!”

Sometimes Not-Now-Nicole isn't very patient.

“I'll look at it later,” Mrs. Brisbane told her.

I never knew there were so many books about mummies!

“I got a book all about what it was like to live in ancient Egypt,” Tall-Paul said.

“Humphrey, I got a book about a hamster,” Stop-Talking-Sophie said as she passed by my cage. “Maybe I'll read it to you!”

“Please, do!” I squeaked and I meant it.

All my friends seemed so excited about their books . . . except for one.

Joey was the last to return to the classroom. He wasn't smiling or chattering but he did have a small, thin book in his hand.

“What book did you choose
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked him.

Joey wrinkled his nose and looked down at the book. “Um, just a book.”

“What book
?
” I squeaked at the top of my lungs. Unfortunately, my voice isn't very loud.

“It's, um, a book about, um, a rabbit,” he said softly.

Mrs. Brisbane leaned down and looked at the book. “Oh, yes,” she said. “
The New Adventures of Robot the Rabbit
. Didn't you read this before
?
”

Joey stared down at his shoes. “Maybe I did. It was pretty good.”

“It
is
good,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “But next time, try a new book. There are so many great ones in the library.”

Joey didn't look up. “Okay,” he said.

Mrs. Brisbane patted him on the shoulder and Joey hurried back to his table.

“A
robot
that is also a
rabbit
?
” I squeaked.

I didn't mind Joey reading a book about a rabbit or a robot, but I minded him looking so unhappy. I guess Mrs. Brisbane felt the same way.

When my classmates were rushing out of Room 26 for lunch, Mrs. Brisbane stopped Joey.

“Can we talk alone for a minute
?
” she asked.

He nodded.

“Why don't you eat your lunch here
?
” she asked. “Should I get you some milk
?
”

Joey shook his head. “No, I have it in my lunch box.”

Soon, Mrs. Brisbane and Joey were sitting at his table, eating their sandwiches.

It was always funny to see Mrs. Brisbane sitting in a student chair. She wasn't that tall for a human, and in a student chair she looked, well . . . almost like a student!

“I have tuna,” Mrs. Brisbane said after taking a bite of her sandwich. “How about you
?
”

Joey swallowed a bite of his sandwich. “Cheese,” he said.

“So, Joey, I wanted to ask you about your library books,” she said. “The Robot Rabbit books are good, but you've read them already. Why do you like to read them over and over
?
”

Joey took a bite out of his sandwich and spent a long time chewing it. “Robot the Rabbit's funny,” he finally said. “And he has great adventures.”

Mrs. Brisbane pushed a pile of yummy-looking carrot sticks toward Joey. “Have some,” she said.

I wouldn't have minded having a carrot myself! I guess loving carrots is something I have in common with rabbits. Though probably not robots.

Joey took one and nibbled.

“Did Mr. Fitch help you look for something new
?
” she asked.

Mr. Fitch was the school librarian and he knew
everything
about books!

“Yes,” Joey said. “He showed me a lot of books: a pirate book and a book about a soccer team and a book about landing on the moon.”

“Those sound good.” Mrs. Brisbane crunched on her carrot.

Joey didn't say anything. They ate in silence for a minute.

“If you tried something new, you could still read Robot the Rabbit books once in a while,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

Joey put his sandwich down. “Maybe . . . I'm getting a little too old for them.”

Mrs. Brisbane nodded. “I think you could try something at your reading level. What about a mummy book, like Simon and Harry and Nicole are reading
?
”

Joey shook his head. I guess he wasn't very interested in reading about mummies.