Secrets According to Humphrey (10 page)

Tall-Paul showed his parents how much he wanted a hamster by cleaning out my cage and giving me fresh food and water.

He took very good care of me and Mrs. Green was impressed.

Then Tall-Paul and his dad made an obstacle course on the living room floor, using blocks and books to create barriers.

I ran that obstacle course over and over to show Paul's dad how much fun a hamster can be.

Even Paul's big sister and his BIG-BIG-BIG brother came in to watch.

Mr. Green was impressed, and he gave me a lovely slice of apple once I was back in my cage.

“So can I get a hamster
?
” Paul asked his mom and dad before bedtime.

“Maybe,” they said.

“Maybe” isn't a very good answer. But they were smiling when they said it.

After Tall-Paul went to bed that night, I thought about all the things I had to tell my friend Og when I got back to Room 26.

But later, when the room was dark and the house was quiet, I thought I saw the ghost of King Tut in front of my cage.

I was too scared to squeak.

I raced into my sleeping hut and I didn't come out until the next morning.

HUMPHREY'S TOP SECRET SCRIBBLES
Kings and their treasures are quite nice BUT . . .
I
don't
want to meet the ghost of King Tut!

Whispered Secrets

B
OING-BOING-BOING!” Og greeted me when I returned to Room 26 on Monday morning.

“Yes, Og. I had a very nice time,” I replied. “Sorry, I can't tell you everything, though, because part of it is a secret.”

Og suddenly leaped into the water side of his tank and splashed loudly.

“Goodness, Og, what's going on
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked as she came over to check on his tank.

Og quieted down a little.

Of course, I knew why he was splashing. He didn't like that I was keeping a secret from him.

Up until then, Og knew all my secrets—even the one about my lock-that-doesn't-lock.

He was feeling left out and I was feeling VERY-VERY-VERY guilty.

When my classmates were at recess and Mrs. Brisbane left the room for a moment, I had to talk to him.

“Og, I'll tell you the secret. On Saturday, Small-Paul and Felipe came over for their secret club and they made a board game from ancient Egypt and I played, too. But Tall-Paul said if I told anybody, King Tut's ghost would come after me,” I squeaked.

Og let out a huge “BOING!”

“But I'm not scared of a silly old ghost,” I said. I crossed my toes because what I was saying wasn't true. Just because I'd never seen a ghost didn't mean there couldn't be one.

“BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og sounded worried.

“And I'm not keeping secrets from you ever again,” I told him.

“BOING-BOING!”

“You're welcome,” I replied.

A very happy-looking Mrs. Brisbane came back to Room 26, carrying some papers.

“Get ready for some excitement, boys,” she said.

I knew she was talking to Og and me, because we were the only boys there.

“WHAT-WHAT-WHAT
?
” I asked.

“You'll see,” she said.

Then Mrs. Wright, the PE teacher, walked in.

Mrs. Wright isn't a bad human, but I'd like her a lot more if she didn't have a big silver whistle hanging from her neck. Sometimes she actually blows that whistle and when she does, my small, sensitive ears quiver and quake.

“Mrs. Brisbane, there's something very odd happening with some of your students,” she said.

Mrs. Brisbane looked surprised. “What's that
?
”

“They're talking nonsense and waving their arms. Something's wrong,” Mrs. Wright said.

“Which students
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked.

“Oh, a lot of them,” Mrs. Wright said. “But not all of them. Whatever is going on, some of your students are being left out.”

“I've noticed some of that behavior,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “But when I've asked about it, I haven't gotten a straight answer.”

“Students on the playground need to play proper games,” Mrs. Wright said. “Please get to the bottom of this and stop this behavior now.”

“I will,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “I definitely will.”

Mrs. Wright fingered her whistle and I braced myself.

Luckily, she decided not to blow it, which was a
big
relief to me.

“Class, I need your help,” Mrs. Brisbane said when my friends were back from break. “I want someone to explain why you've been acting strangely lately. I've noticed it and Mrs. Wright has noticed it.”

Nobody said a word.

“I've seen some of you doing these odd movements and nodding, waving, muttering strange phrases,” she continued. “Would someone like to tell me what's going on
?
How about you, Thomas
?
”

“I don't know what they're doing, either. And that's the truth,” he replied.

“I believe you, Thomas,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “How about you, Kelsey
?
”

Kelsey's face turned almost as red as her bright red hair.

“We're just being silly,” she said.

Mrs. Brisbane looked at Tall-Paul. Then she looked at Small-Paul. “I know you boys will tell me the truth,” she said.

It's hard not to tell the truth when Mrs. Brisbane is looking at you like that.

“We have a secret club,” Tall-Paul said. “It's kind of an Egyptian thing. I think some of the others have clubs, too.”

“It's just for fun,” Small-Paul added. “We have secret signals and things like that.”

“Do you have a club, Phoebe
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked.

Phoebe nodded. “With Kelsey.”

The room had been very quiet up until then, but suddenly I heard someone sniffle.

It was Holly!

Mrs. Brisbane grabbed the box of tissues from her desk and hurried to Holly's table. “Holly, what's wrong
?
”

“
I'm
not in a secret club,” she said. “No one asked me.”

No one asked her! I was unsqueakably shocked.

Phoebe and Kelsey looked surprised, too.

“I thought you were in Rosie's club,” Phoebe said.

“I thought you were in Phoebe's club,” Rosie said.

Mrs. Brisbane handed Holly a tissue. “Please raise your hand if you're in a club,” she said.

Only three students didn't raise their hands: Thomas, Joey and Holly.

I wasn't sure whether to raise my paw or not.

I wasn't officially in a club, but I knew most of their secrets.

Joey looked at Thomas. “I thought you were in the club with Simon and Harry,” he said.

“I thought
you
were,” Thomas said. “Maybe we should start our own secret club.”

Joey grinned. “Yes, and we'll invite Holly!”

I saw Holly smile a little bit through her tears.

“That's a nice idea,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “But I have a better idea: Get rid of the secret clubs. Now.”

Someone moaned.

“You see how hurtful it can be to form secret clubs and leave some of your classmates out, don't you
?
” Mrs. Brisbane asked.

“I certainly do!” I shouted.

Even if my friends can't understand me, sometimes I have to squeak up.

Mrs. Brisbane paced back and forth in front of the class. “I can't control what you do outside of this classroom, but from this moment on, there will be nothing to do with secret clubs in Room Twenty-six. Not a signal, not a silly word, not a glance, do you understand me
?
” she asked.

My friends all nodded and looked terribly sorry.

“Secrets have their place but they have a way of getting out of hand,” Mrs. Brisbane explained. “I know you all like Thomas and Joey and Holly, but you hurt their feelings.”

My friends looked even sorrier.

“I had another lesson planned for now, but first I think we should all play a little game,” she said.

No one seemed to be in the mood for a game, but when Mrs. Brisbane told them to put their chairs in a circle, my friends all did.

Mrs. Brisbane wrote something on a piece of paper and folded it.

“All right. I've written a secret message on this paper. I'm going to whisper what I wrote in Holly's ear. Then she's going to whisper it to Simon and you'll go all around the circle, whispering the words you hear. You can't ask the person to repeat it. Just pass on what you think you heard.”

She leaned down and whispered in Holly's ear. Holly nodded and turned to whisper in Simon's ear.

Simon looked puzzled. But he couldn't ask Holly to repeat what she'd said, so he whispered in Rosie's ear.

Rosie laughed and then whispered in Felipe's ear.

And so it went, all around the room.

The last person to receive the message was Thomas.

“All right, Thomas,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Stand up and tell the class the secret message.”

“It doesn't make a lot of sense,” Thomas said. “But here goes: I think bumpy frogs have a sweet cub, but I want snoring mules.”

For a few seconds, nothing happened.

Then suddenly everyone burst out laughing.

I wasn't laughing because the message didn't make any sense. Why would Mrs. Brisbane whisper that to anyone
?

“Thomas, here's the paper with the real message. Please read it,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

Thomas stared at it and then he smiled. “It says, ‘I think Humphrey and Og have a secret club, but I don't know the rules.'”

“We don't have a secret club!” I squeaked, but no one could hear me over all the laughter.

“BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og twanged loudly.

Then Mrs. Brisbane called on all the students to say what they'd heard.

“I think jumpy Og has a secret cub, but I want to know mules,” Nicole said.

Sophie had heard, “I think bumpy Og has a sweet club, but I go to school.”

“Snoring mules” had come from Harry.

And “jumpy Og” became “bumpy frog” when Kelsey passed the message along.

It may sound silly, but Og
is
a bit jumpy and bumpy and he is a frog. But I've never heard of a snoring mule!

“How could the message change like that
?
” Tall-Paul asked.

“They did it on purpose!” Rosie said.

But Mrs. Brisbane said that no one did it on purpose. “This game shows how when we spread secrets and rumors, the words get fuzzy and the information passed along isn't correct. Unless you
do
want snoring mules.”

She paused while everyone giggled. I giggled a little bit, too.

“I wanted to show you how secrets can get out of hand,” she said. “I know the last thing anyone wanted to do was to hurt anyone else.”

My friends looked serious again.

Then Slow-Down-Simon raised his hand. “Mrs. Brisbane, can we play the game again
?
”

And they did.

The day moved so quickly, I was unsqueakably surprised when the final bell rang.

I moved to the front of my cage and squeaked good-bye to everyone.

I was HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY to see Holly walk out with Phoebe and Kelsey. And she was
laughing
!

Felipe, Tall-Paul and Small-Paul waited for everyone to leave and then approached our teacher.