Secrets According to Humphrey (9 page)

“BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og boomed.

I didn't want one of the girls to leave our class, either. I didn't want anyone to leave.

“And why would the television people come, just because one girl is leaving
?
” I continued. “I thought reporters usually cover car chases and weather and a market where you can buy socks. Although why they report on the sock market every day seems weird to me.”

“BOING!” Og agreed.

I realized that Aldo would be coming to clean soon, so I hurried back to my cage and slammed the door behind me.

Before long, I heard the RATTLE-RATTLE-RATTLE of his cleaning cart.

The door opened and when he switched on the lights, the room was as bright as it was during the day.

“Hey, how are my favorite students in Room Twenty-six
?
” he asked.

Before I could answer, he was busily sweeping the floor. I watched Aldo carefully as he worked because I knew he had a secret, too. And maybe he would give us a clue like Mrs. Brisbane did.

But his lips were sealed. He didn't say a word—or a peep!

When he was gone, I opened my little notebook and, by the glow of the streetlights, I added some things to my list.

Human Secrets I Know About

- A student is leaving Room 26 soon. I don't know which student and I don't know when.

- It's a girl.

- Sophie still misses her old school. What if she's going back?

- Kelsey's dad wants to take the whole family to New York City. Maybe they're moving there?

- Question: Why would they send a television reporter to cover either of those?

I nibbled on my pencil for a minute. Then I added something that made me happy.

- Joey's secret is that he doesn't enjoy reading. Will my Plan work?

- YES, I think it will.

HUMPHREY'S TOP SECRET SCRIBBLES
A girl will be leaving us any day,
Is there some way to make her stay?

Secret Games and Scary Ghosts

F
or the rest of the week, Room 26 seemed out of control.

The groups made progress on their projects. The Traders' boat began to look a little bit like a real boat. The paintings on the Artists' jars started to look like animals. The Builders' pyramid only collapsed two more times. But the Scribes argued a
lot
about their hieroglyphics.

“We need a frog,” Phoebe insisted.

“BOING-BOING!” Og agreed.

“If we have a frog, we need a hamster,” Thomas said.

Daniel disagreed. “A hamster is too hard to draw.”

“You need to TRY-TRY-TRY!” I told them.

No one was listening.

And Mrs. Brisbane, who was always in control of our class, was a little bit confused.

“Phoebe
?
Are you raising your hand
?
” she asked as Phoebe and Kelsey exchanged secret signals.

“Rosie
?
Do you need some help
?
” she asked when Sophie touched her shoulders to signal Rosie.

And when Felipe and Small-Paul spread their arms out like wings, Mrs. Brisbane said, “Boys, be careful!”

“Mrs. Brisbane, those are secret signals for secret clubs!” I told her.

Of course, she couldn't understand me.

Then there were those other secrets.

Ms. Mac came to visit again one afternoon. She didn't have much to say. She sat next to the table and stared at me.

“What do you want
?
” I asked her. “If you don't mind my saying so, it's not polite to stare.”

Ms. Mac sighed. “Oh, Humphrey, I'm having so much trouble deciding on a classroom pet for Room Twelve.”

“Let me help,” I said.

But of course, she had no idea what I was squeaking.

And there was Aldo.

He came in to clean every night and he did a GREAT-GREAT-GREAT job. But he also complained about his secret.

“
Mamma mia
,” he said one night. “This good news is hard to keep secret, but a promise is a promise.”

“You know I won't tell anyone,” I said. Which was true, because humans can't understand me, anyway. “And neither will Og.”

“BOING-BOING-BOING!” my neighbor agreed.

But Aldo didn't share his secret.

It's a very good thing to be able to keep a secret. But it's a very bad thing to know that someone has a secret that he won't share.

I was glad when Friday finally arrived, and I think Mrs. Brisbane was happy as well.

“Who is taking Humphrey home
?
” she asked.

Tall-Paul waved his hand. He looked unsqueakably happy.

“Sorry to leave you here alone,” I squeaked to Og as Tall-Paul carried me out of Room 26.

I heard a distant “BOING-BOING!” as the door closed behind us.

Tall-Paul is by far the tallest student in Room 26.

He's almost as tall as Mrs. Brisbane. In fact, he's almost as tall as Principal Morales!

So I was unsqueakably surprised when I got to his house and discovered that compared with the rest of the Green family, he wasn't tall at all. In fact, he looked short!

This was one tall family! It was like being surrounded by giants—at least to a short hamster like me.

But they were very
friendly
giants. And I was HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY that they didn't have any gigantic pets.

In the evening, Tall-Paul and his tall parents sat by my cage, so I put on a show for them.

First, I spun on my wheel. Then, I hopped off and climbed up the side of my cage to the top. Next, I climbed down my tree branch, back to the wheel, and started spinning again.

“Watching Humphrey is much better than watching TV,” Mrs. Green said.

Mr. Green agreed. “It's like watching a one-hamster circus.”

They were friendly and
smart
giants.

“I told you he was fun,” Paul said. “So can I get a hamster now
?
”

“Let's see how the weekend goes,” his father answered.

I thought it would be wonderful if Paul got a hamster. I decided I'd do everything I could to prove that hamsters make pawsitively wonderful pets!

The next day, Paul's mom asked if he wanted to invite some friends over.

“Paul Fletcher,” Tall-Paul quickly answered. “And Felipe.”

“I'll call them,” Mrs. Green said. “And who else
?
How about Thomas
?
”

Tall-Paul thought for a few seconds and then shook his head. “No, just Paul F. and Felipe.”

“I thought you were friends with Thomas, too,” his mom said. “And Joey.”

“I am.” Paul hesitated. “But this time I just want Paul and Felipe to come over.”

Mrs. Green looked puzzled but she didn't say anything more.

She left and came back a few minutes later to say that Paul F.'s mother would bring both boys to the house.

When Small-Paul and Felipe arrived, they came into the bedroom and Tall-Paul closed the door.

“My mom wanted me to invite Thomas and Joey, too,” Tall-Paul said. “But I talked her out of it. If they came, we couldn't do our secret club things.”

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Small-Paul said. He spread his arms like wings and so did Tall-Paul and Felipe.

“
Bata-wata-fata!
” they all chanted.

I don't think it was really Egyptian. I think it was something they made up.

“Flying Pharaohs forever!” they added, and they bowed to each other.

Then they acted normal again.

“So this is our first real meeting,” Tall-Paul said. “What do you want to do
?
”

Felipe shrugged. “I don't know. Something pharaohs would do, I guess.”

“I have an idea,” Tall-Paul said. “I was reading about ancient Egypt and they played one of the earliest board games.”

“Cool,” Small-Paul said. “What did it look like
?
”

Soon the friends were on Paul Green's computer.

“There it is,” Tall-Paul said. “It's called senet. They even found games in some pharaohs' tombs.”

“I bet I could make one of those,” Fix-It-Felipe said.

There wasn't much he couldn't build. “Let
me
see!” I squeaked.

The boys laughed but I was feeling very frustrated because I couldn't see the computer screen from my cage.

“Wow, look at the one they found in King Tut's tomb!” Tall-Paul exclaimed. “It's beautiful.”

Felipe began to sketch. “We'll need a big cardboard box. And game pieces,” he said.

Tall-Paul found a box while Small-Paul got out some other board games and borrowed the game pieces from them.

“And little sticks to throw,” Small-Paul said.

“How about pencils
?
Or big paper clips
?
” Tall-Paul suggested.

“Paper clips would work for now,” Felipe agreed.

The boys also gathered a ruler and markers as Felipe began to make the game board.

“The path around it looks something like a snake,” Small-Paul said.

“Eeek!” I squeaked. It slipped out when I heard the word “snake.”

I relaxed when I realized he wasn't talking about a real snake.

The three friends spent the afternoon making the game and then playing it.

I dozed off for a while, but woke up once when I heard Paul F. shout, “Take that, Tutankhamen!”

I fell back to sleep until Paul G. shouted, “Bad move, Amenhotep!”

I guessed that Amenhotep was another pharaoh.

“Hey, what about Humphrey
?
” Felipe asked. “I'll bet he wants to play.”

He gently took me out of my cage and set me on the game board. It looked a little bit like an obstacle course.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, but I saw the game pieces on different squares.

Aha! The goal of the game must be to knock all of them over.

So I scurried from square to square and knocked them down, one by one.

Every time a game piece fell, the boys laughed.

“You win, Humphrey,” Tall-Paul said when all the pieces had fallen. “Even the pharaohs never played a game like that.”

“Gee, I'd love to show the game to Mrs. Brisbane,” Felipe said as he put me back in the cage. “Maybe we'd get extra credit.”

Tall-Paul didn't agree. “No! This is a Flying Pharaohs game. We have to keep it a secret.”

“Right,” Small-Paul said. “Everything that happens in the Flying Pharaoh Club is a secret.”

When Small-Paul's mom came to pick the boys up, Tall-Paul put the board in a drawer.

“Don't you tell anyone our secret, Humphrey,” he told me. “Or the ghost of King Tut will come after you.”

My whiskers wiggled and my tail twitched. “Eeek!” I squeaked.

“Oh, Humphrey, I was joking,” Tall-Paul said.

It wasn't a very funny joke—at least to a small creature like me.

I scrambled under my bedding and I stayed there for a LONG-LONG-LONG time.

The next day was more fun.