Secrets Behind Those Eyes (28 page)

Speeches are made, songs are sung, and
diplomas are handed out. So far all the rules are being followed.
That is until our graduating class begins to holler at the top of
our lungs for a fellow classmate that we swore would NEVER
graduate. I think he might turn “Dirty Thirty” this year! Just
kidding! What are they going to do? Escort the entire class out? I
don't think so!

Everyone’s name has been called, and
it's time to turn that tassel. I hear the Student Body President
say, "I now present to you the Class of 2013." Tassels are turned
and caps are flying! Yup, that's how we roll. Just enough not to be
in too much trouble but make our statement!

When the processional
begins to play, we start to march out. There are those damn steps
again.
One, two, three, four.
I'm down and out the door I go. I'm cheesing
from ear to ear. I made it!

Outside, I meet my friends by the tree
again. We are all so happy, but the next thing I know, Piper and I
are squalling! When I finally pull myself together, I see my mama.
Here come the water works again. She gives me a hug, and I say
something I never thought I would. "Mama, I don't want to grow
up!"

She says, "I know, Charley, but we all
have to some time."

With that off my chest, I feel a
little relieved. I know that things will work out, and I've made
the right choice. I get myself together, talk with my friends, and
make a few more photographs for memories’ sake. I head back to the
Honda, crank up the radio and head to my house for the "Woohoo
Charley's Graduated Party"

I roll up to the house, and my cousin
Joanna is there slaving in the kitchen. I can't wait for the
chocolate cake. In fact, anyone who touches it might lose a hand is
exactly what I'm thinking. I open the screen door and walk inside
and upstairs to where the afternoon started. I put on something
more comfortable. It's going to be a long night, so I gotta look
cute and be comfortable. I take a look in my closet and decide on a
pair of cut-off jean shorts and a yellow halter top. Again, I'm one
of those blondes who can wear yellow. I guess that's another reason
to hate me. I take off the pearls my dad gave me and exchange them
for silver hoops the size of Texas, add my favorite necklace, cigar
band ring monogrammed with the letter "C," and silver bangle
bracelets. I grab my black flip flops with silver sparkles on top
and head back downstairs.

When I get downstairs, my family is
back at the house, and everyone is giving me too much attention. I
take it though, because I know it makes everyone happy.

Piper, Annie, Carrie, and Morgan all
show up. We eat, laugh, and talk about all the great times we've
had. Joanna has out done herself; this food is off the heeze! The
chocolate cake is to die for, and I'm glad she loved me enough to
make two. One for me and one for the actual party.

After about an hour, Carrie and Morgan
decide to head home. Piper and I look at each other knowing it's
about that time. It’s time to have one more night of fun before we
all go our separate ways.

"Piper, have you heard of anything
going on tonight?"

"Yeah, there's a party at the
triplets’ house tonight."

"Well, I guess we can't miss that!"
The triplets, Justin, Jordan, and Jack, were well-known for their
parties. All the triplets were great guys, loved to have a good
time, and were originally from New York. They had seen the big
city; something we knew nothing about. I’m okay with that, but
Piper, on the other hand, dreams of the big city.

Piper and I talk about who's driving
and where we’re meeting. My parents were sticklers for curfew, so
it’s a given that we are staying at Piper's for the night. I also
know that I am driving because even though I love to have a good
time, I do not drink. One thing I just can't tolerate is a drunk.
On the other hand, take me to a party and I’ll dance my ass
off!

Piper takes one piece of cake for the
road and heads to her house across town. Piper and I were both
transplants at our high school. We lived in the country, but our
parents felt that we had a better opportunity for a better
education at the "city" school. I told her I'd see her in thirty
and she better be ready. I really didn't want to climb in and out
of her window tonight. Well, maybe just “in” the window
tonight.

I go upstairs, pack my bag with pj's,
toothbrush, and a few other essentials, and out I go. I stop
downstairs to tell Joanna thanks and give her, Mama, Dad, and Tessa
hugs on the way out.

As I head out the door, Tessa and
Blue, the bloodhound, follow me. "Call me if you need me, no matter
what, okay?"

"I will, but you know you have nothing
to worry about. Love ya and I'll see ya in the morning.”

I get into the Honda, open the
sunroof, plug in my iPod for a little JT “Suit & Tie,” and head
to Piper's. I have to drive all the way through town to get there.
This is always a hard ride for me. There are so many good and bad
memories here. Do I really want to stay in this town? Maybe this
isn't the right choice.

Before I know it, I make a left turn
onto Broadway Road and drive up the long driveway. Piper's ready
and heads out the door, waving bye to her mom, Tina. I can see her
little sister, Summer, in her bedroom window. She knows the deal.
When we knock, she unlocks the window.

We head back down the drive, turn up
JT, and drive toward Dixon Country Club. It's not somewhere we go a
lot. We've never really fit in with that crowd, but everyone's
welcome at the triplets’ house.

We arrive, and we can already tell
that the party has started.

“
So, Piper, what are you
scheming tonight?”

“
Oh, ya know, the usual.
Drink a little drink and kiss a lotta boys!” she says
laughingly.

I might have the perfect hair, good
skin, and nice legs, but Piper always gets the guy. Maybe that will
change in college. That is, if I made the right choice.

The night goes on as planned. We
listen to loud music, watch people get plastered, high, and act
like fools. Piper started talking to Justin (the hot one of the
triplets) and I knew where this was going. He's had the hots for
her forever, and Piper just loves to play the game. Now that she's
got him, she doesn't want him. She just pulls him on a string at
her beck and call.

Damn, why didn't I have that luck? I,
on the other hand, never get the guy that I truly like. I always
get the one that I know my dad isn't going to like. The guy who
lives on the wrong side of the tracks, Tarheels fan, tattooed out,
and doesn’t have a plan for life. That's the kind of guy I choose,
or rather, the one that chooses me.

Around 2:30 a.m., people start to head
out. I look at Piper, and she knows it's time to bounce. She tells
Justin bye, gives him a quick kiss, and out the door she goes. I
wish I had one ounce of her confidence.

Driving down the road, we decide to
pull into the Pantry and grab a Choice Cherry Gold and Fun Dip, our
two favorite things. We laugh when we notice two guys staring at us
when we get ready to leave. We get into the Honda and head to her
house.

When we hit her driveway, we turn off
the headlights and creep all the way up. Her mom doesn't mind her
being out late; we just never want her to know how late we actually
get home. We knock on Summer's window and in we go.

Once we’re in the window, we go to
Piper's room and get ready for bed. We turn on Miranda Lambert
Radio on Pandora and sing as loud as we can. Good thing Scott and
Tina's room is on the other side of the house. We get ready for
bed, and that's when the conversation starts.

"Charley, you do know that you can
leave this place?" Piper whispers.

"Yeah, I know. It's just that I
thought LRC was what I’m supposed to do. Both my parents went
there. I was dating Cash, but that's over. I just don't know what
to do. My parents will kill me if I want to change."

Cash was my knight that showed up in
Carhartts and a white F250, even though I’ve known him my entire
life. He's the only reason I've survived the past year, but I
pushed him away as usual. Like I’ve said before, I love to choose
the bad ones. Now, he doesn't want to talk to me, even though I’m
the one who made that final decision. Maybe that will change. He
was there in my darkest hour, knows exactly the person I am, and
who I will always be.

"You know they just want you to be
happy. They would understand. And you know Cash still cares about
you. You’ve been friends since you could walk."

"I know, but I think it's the right
choice. School and Cash. I'm just going to sit on it for a while."
Knowing the Cash part is a complete lie. I’ve loved him my entire
life. He lived at the next farm over. He’s always been the brother
I never had, friend, and now ex-boyfriend. He knew absolutely
everything about me. The good, bad, and some things that I’d love
to just erase from my mind entirely.

Piper, Annie, Morgan, Carrie, and I
have an amazing graduation trip to Cancun. We live it up every
night dancing at clubs, baking in the sun, and meeting a new guy
every night.

About the middle of July, my world
starts to cave in on me. I come to the conclusion that I have made
a mistake. I do want out of this hick town, and now I can't. How am
I going to tell my parents? I come up with a plan to talk to Mama
on the way to Grandma's tomorrow. I know I’ll have questions to
answer, but that’s expected from my mama, AKA Mrs. Worry
Wart.

The next morning, I wake up and get
ready. I look at myself in the mirror, and worry is written all
over my face. I pack my clothes for the week and head downstairs. I
go to the pantry and grab a chocolate chip cookie and a Choice
Cherry Gold, breakfast of champions. Mama and Tessa come into the
kitchen and are all ready to go. We load up the Chevy and are on
our way.

Before we hit the county line, Mama
looks at me and says, "Okay, spill it!"

I look at Mama, and tears fill up in
my eyes. "I don't want to go to LRC. Are you mad at me?”

My mama looks over and says, "Of
course not! There’s only one problem. Where are you going to go?
There are three weeks before classes start, Charley. I don’t even
know where to begin. I know that you have been accepted to several
places, but will they be able to accommodate you? What schools do
you want to look into?”

"Carolina State and Southern, " I say
quietly.

I had been accepted to Clemson,
Carolina State, LRC, and Southern. I’ve always wanted to be a
Tiger, but knew that was probably out of the question. I mean,
hello!? Huge school and three weeks before Moving Day! I loved
Carolina State. It is big, so maybe I can fly under the radar. I
can keep to myself, stay unnoticed, and get my degree. Southern is
small, and I mean smaller than my graduating class, small. But it
has always appealed to me ever since a family friend talked about
how gorgeous the campus is and all the friends she made there. Both
Carolina State and Southern are close to my grandmother's
house.

“
Charley, why don’t we go
to Carolina State on our way to Grandma’s?”

“
That sounds great,
Mama.”

On the way there, we stop
at Carolina State. They can enroll me, but there is no room in the
inn. I'd have to find housing off campus.
I don't think so!
I’m already
scared to make this gigantic change to my life plan. I’m definitely
not living off campus in a big city. The admissions counselor says
she will put me on the housing waiting list. I smile politely and
tell her thank you for her time. I know in my heart of hearts that
Carolina State is out the window.

The entire week I try to keep my mind
off the choices that are in my near future. I did all the things
most Southern girls like me love. I hang out with my cousins, work
in my grandma's garden, take Daisy, the horse, for a ride, and
shuck corn until I never want to see another ear

On Wednesday, we call Southern and
schedule an appointment for Friday. There's no turning back now. I
pray, “Please God, let this work out for me. I know that I haven’t
always made the right choices in my life, but things are starting
to get back to how they used to be before I messed up.”

On Friday morning, we eat breakfast. I
choose my grandma's pound cake and her famous sweet tea. Then we
say our goodbyes and down Highway 49 we go. My mama doesn't say
much, and I know what she is thinking. She's thinking about why I
want to go to this little rinky dink school? What am I running
from? Will I make the same mistakes again? We ride in
silence.

When we get to the
stoplight on Highway 49, we turn right; we go half a mile and see
the Southern University sign. Unsure of where to turn, we keep
going. Next thing I know, we’ve driven through it completely. In
the blink of an eye we are already leaving campus and the town.
Well dang, it’s smaller than I thought! We turn the Chevy around
and stop at the stoplight.
Really? A
stoplight?
I look to my right and notice
the train tracks running straight through the middle of campus.
That's going to be fun to wake up to. When the light turns green,
we move forward and turn left into a driveway that goes to the
Admissions Building. We pull into one of three visitor parking
spaces. It's now or never.