Secrets On Lake Drive (12 page)

“That sounds perfect, Victoria.”

“Don’t call me Victoria. I feel like you’re
a part of this family now. You call me Mama V.”

I must have hit it off really well with
Sean’s mom. She was ready to adopt me into the family.

“And I’ll call you later,” she told me, “and
we’ll have our own little girls’ night.”

“Okay. That would be wonderful. See y’all
later.” I waved them off, and then hopped in my car.

I stopped by Keisha’s house for a while to
see what she was up to. Then I headed home. When I walked in the
house, Sean was asleep on the couch. I kneeled down beside him and
traced his face with my index finder. He immediately opened his
eyes.

“What are you doing sleeping on the couch?”
I whispered into his ear.

 “I was waiting for you to get home,”
Sean said with a yawn.

“And since when do you wait up for me?”

“Since I started liking you.”

I smiled. “I told you I was going to stop by
Keisha’s for a while, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.” Sean yawned again. “So
did you have a good time with my mom and Nikki?”

“Yes. Your mom is sweet and so is
Nikki.”

“So what did y’all talk about? Me?”

“Oh and you think the only topic we have to
talk about is Sean, huh?”

“Pretty much. I know my mother. Therefore, I
already know you guys were talkin’ about me.”

“No, you don’t. You’re just bluffing so I
can tell you more information.” I dropped my keys on the table.
“Okay, so we were talking about you a little.”

“Yeah, I told you I knew that already. What
did my mom say ‘bout me?”

“She just briefly mentioned different things
about your marriage and the divorce, and your father…”  

“What did she say about my father?” Sean
quickly cut me off, jumping on the defensive like his mother
would ever say anything bad about his daddy.

“She just talked about how much the family
misses him.”

“That’s crazy. I was just thinking about him
the other day. It’s still hard for me to believe he’s gone.”

Not knowing what else to say in the awkward
situation, I replied, “I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry. A lot of people never
get to experience having a father.”

“You’re right. I never did.”

“Really?”

“Well, yes, but me and my father weren’t
close at all. He was gone all the time on business, as he put it. I
spent a lot of time with my mom, but we didn’t get along
either.”

“My dad was always there for me…always.”

 “If you don’t mind me asking, what
happened to him?”

 “Cancer.” Sean hung his head. “You
know, sometimes I think about how Roman might feel if he ever lost
me. I don’t want my son to go through that. I know it sounds
stupid, but that’s why I’ve been kinda just staying away from
him.”

“No, that doesn’t sound stupid. A lot of
people think like that, but the time you spend with Roman is
valuable. He appreciates your time more so than the material things
you can buy him.”

“I know. You’re absolutely right.”

I stood up and pulled Sean by the hand,
trying to pull him up off of the couch. “C’mon, Sean. Let’s go to
bed.”

Sean gave me a wicked smile, as if I was
implying that we were going to bed together. So, I had to clarify
myself.

“Wait – let me rephrase that. Let’s go to
our
separate
bedrooms.”

“Ah’ight.”

Entry 2

I don’t even know why I’m writing in this
thing tonight. I’m so tired I can’t even keep my eyes open, and
every other minute, I’m yawning. Cornelius wasn’t on my mind much.
I was too occupied today to even think about him. Maybe that’s the
key. Maybe, just maybe, if I fill my days with activities, there
will be no room in my brain to even think about him. It worked
today. Who’s to say it won’t work tomorrow? Anyway, I enjoyed
having lunch with Sean’s mother and sister today. For some reason,
I thought they would be stuck-up and snobbish, but I was dead
wrong. Victoria was a sweetheart and so was Nikki. Sean is lucky to
have such a wonderful mother. It’s too bad I can’t say that about
my mom, but whatever. I’m not going to waste good ink writing about
her. I was surprised that Sean waited up for me tonight. And he
smelled so good. It seems like every day he’s wearing a different
lotion or cologne, or maybe using a new body wash. Whatever it was,
it sure smelled good on him.

- - -

I got up a little early the next day to take
Roman out to breakfast and then to the park, but Sean had other
plans. He’d been sitting in the kitchen reading the business
section of the
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
.

“Monica, what are your plans for today?”

He sounded like he was conducting business
with me instead of being the laidback guy that I’d gotten to know
over the past few weeks.

“Sean, relax. You’re not at work.”

“What are you talking about?” He had no clue
he did that whole transformation thing with his voice. One minute,
he was playful, and the next, he just had the persona of a hardcore
businessman.

“Nevermind,” I told him. “I was thinking
about taking Roman to the park today. You want to come with
us?”

“Actually, I want to spend some time with
you today,” he said, as he bit into a juicy green apple and then
licked his lips like LL Cool J in his music video,
Doin’ It
.
I watched the way his lips caressed the apple and the way he looked
at me, like he meant business. He showed no mercy towards that poor
apple.

“And where is Roman going to be?”

“I can take him over to Warren’s crib.”

“You got this all figured out, huh?”

“Yeah…so you rolling with me or what?”

“Okay.” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go with
him or not. It almost felt like he was asking me out on a date.

“Oh, come on. I won’t bite,” Sean said, as
he bit hard into the apple again. Then he had the nerve to wink his
eye and smile while licking his lips again.

“Alright. Just let me change clothes
first.”

“Nah, you don’t need to change your clothes.
You look fine.”

“Okay. Well, let me know when you’re ready
to go.”

“I’m ready now. Let’s bounce.”

Chapter 14 -
Kickin’ It

We dropped Roman off at Warren’s house and
then we were off…me and Sean, alone.

“So what do you want to do first?” Sean
asked, as he leaned over near the window looking sharp and gripped
the steering wheel of the Escalade with his right hand, showing off
the Rolex. He was wearing a short-sleeved, white Polo tee and some
True Religion jeans.

“It doesn’t matter to me.” I sat on the
passenger side nervous, with both hands wrapped around the strap of
my oversized XOXO purse. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. I
mean, I had spent time with Sean before at home, but not openly in
public like this.

“Are you alright, Monica?”

Sean must have noticed I was nervous, but I
couldn’t help it. He made me that way.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Not!
Every time I looked at Sean, I
couldn’t help but think to myself how fine he was.
Every
time
. And besides the smell of the pineapple coconut air
freshener swinging from his rearview mirror, Sean smelled
sensational. I don’t know what he was wearing, but his cologne
alone was enough to catch any woman’s attention.

“I was thinking we could stop and get some
ice cream or something. It’s pretty hot out here.”

“Okay. That sounds good.”

We drove about fifteen more minutes to
Kopp’s Frozen Custard on Port Washington Road in Glendale. Sean
opened the door to let me out of his truck, and then he put his arm
around me as we walked up to the entrance. I ordered the cookie,
caramel and cream flavor. Sean ordered plain vanilla.

We sat outside on the hot, eighty-five
degree day. Sean kept looking at me as if he wanted to say
something at times, but he just stared, watching every spoonful of
ice cream go into my mouth.

“Yes?” I said in an effort to get him to
stop looking at me. I hated when people stared.

“Why are you so quiet?”

I knew it was only a matter of time before
he would notice I was a little uncomfortable being alone with
him.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you intimidated by me?”

I smiled. “A little.”

Hey, I told the truth. He did make me a
little nervous. I was scrutinizing myself to determine if I was
actually good enough to be out kickin’ it with such a perfect
individual.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s no reason to be. I’m not going to
hurt you or nothin’.” Sean dipped his spoon in my ice cream cup to
taste my flavor.

“You like it?”

“It’s ah’ight. I’m not adventurous enough to
eat their flavor-of-the-day ice cream. I just stick with vanilla,
my favorite. You want to taste mine?”

“No, thanks. I know how plain vanilla taste
already.”

Sean finished his ice cream before I
finished mine, and then sat there for a minute and continued
watching me. Then he said, “There’s something different about
you.”

“Compared to who?”

“To other women I’ve met.”

“What’s so different about me?”

“Your personality…your demeanor is
different.”

“Really? I would think you would’ve met all
sorts of people in your entourage, women especially.”

“I have met a lot of women…”

I interrupted. “Yeah, I
know
that.”

“What is that supposed to mean, Monica?”

“Nothing.” And it didn’t mean anything. In a
way, I was giving him a compliment, but he took it the wrong
way.

“Nah, tell me what that meant.”

“I know you’ve met a lot of women because of
your profession and your looks.”

Sean sighed. “I don’t know why you seem to
think I’m some good-for-nothing dog who jumps from woman to woman
because I’m not like that at all.”

“I don’t think that about you. I used to
because that’s what everybody was saying, but not anymore.”

“So would you date me?”

I took a few seconds to analyze the
question.
Was he speaking hypothetically or did he really want
to date me?

I asked, “Where did that come from?”

“Just curious. No hidden agenda.”

“The answer is no. I wouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re a great
guy and all, but…”

“Just not great enough for you,” Sean said,
finishing my sentence.

I gathered he was upset by the tone of his voice.
And here I am thinking we were having a good time enjoying each
other’s company and having casual conversation.

“No, Sean, that’s not it at all.”

“Then what?”

“Why are you getting upset? I thought we
were supposed to be having fun?”

“Because you act like everything has to
conform to your perfect little world.”

“That’s not true. The reason I said no is
because we are two completely different people, Sean, and we have
nothing in common. You’re like thirty-five…”

“Thirty-two,” he quickly corrected.

“Okay, you’re thirty-two and I’m
twenty-four. We couldn’t possibly have anything in common. You’re
way more experienced in life than I am. We’re not even on the same
page. No skip that, we’re not even in the same chapter. And why do
I need to explain my answer if there’s no hidden agenda like you
said?”

Sean left my question unanswered. I assumed
he felt rejected. I don’t know why, though. He knew he could have
any woman that he wanted. There was no reason to get ill because
I
said no. Truth be told, I wasn’t on Sean’s level.

Let’s compare. Sean resides on Lake Drive,
while I used to live in a one-bedroom apartment. He owns a
business; I’ve been a teacher for less than a year and already
thinking about quitting. He looks like he just walked out of
GQ
Magazine
. I…well, I suppose I could grace the cover of
Essence
, but I was no dime piece. At least I didn’t consider
myself to be. Maybe an eight on a scale from one to ten.

“Are you ready to go?” Sean asked, breaking
the silence.

“Yeah, sure.”

At that point, I knew the day was ruined,
and I was ready to get away from him before another bad discussion
erupted. Just to think we’d been getting along so well.

After we pulled up in the driveway, Sean sat
still in the truck after he removed the key from the ignition. I
didn’t get out of the truck either.

“Did you know that Roman prays for you every
night? Even before you moved in to baby-sit for me, he prayed for
you every…single…night.”

“No, I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, he does, and you’re leaving in
September. Have you thought about what that might do to him?”

“He’s not
that
attached to me. He’ll
be fine.”

“I don’t think so. I think he’ll be hurt and
confused.” Sean seemed cold and distant as he tried to get his
point across. I was finally getting to see what his mom was talking
about.

“Sean, how did we go from eating ice cream
and having a good time to this?”

“To what?”

“To you copping an attitude with me over
nothing.”

“I don’t have an attitude, Monica. I’m just
trying to discuss with you the ramifications of you leaving us in
September.”

“And what’s that? Roman is going to miss
me?”

“Yes, Roman will be hurt when you leave.
That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

“He’s a child, Sean. He’ll get over it.”

“Oh, that coming from the same woman who can
admit she can’t get over an ex-boyfriend!”

That was a low blow. I never brought up
anything he told me in order to use it against him. I picked my
purse up from off the floor and unlocked my door so I could get
out.

Sean grabbed my arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t
have said that.”