Secrets On Lake Drive (13 page)

I stayed calm. “That’s cool,” I told him,
but I was boiling. I was so upset, I was beginning to feel
lightheaded. When he unlocked his grip from my arm, I stepped out
of the truck and told him, “And I’m sorry. It was never my
intention to hurt anyone.”

It seemed like every time we had a
conversation about Roman, it went sour. After going to my room, I
sat on the bed trying to sort through this crazy mess in my mind.
Would Roman be that bothered by my departure or is Sean just
saying this because he doesn’t want me to leave?

Sean came in my room about ten minutes
later.

“Monica, I wasn’t trying to make you upset.”
He sat beside me and watched me for a moment. I was so irritated
with him, it felt like I was on the verge of getting a migraine.
“All I’m saying is that my son needs you.”

“I’m aware of that, Sean, and I thought we
agreed that we will cross that bridge when we got to it.”

“We can’t wait for this one. This is very
important to me. My son is all I have, and I need to know what
we’re going to do about this.”

“I don’t know what we’re going to do. I
haven’t even thought about this. I thought you wanted me to babysit
him and that’s it. I didn’t know you were hiring for a mother.”

“I wasn’t.”

“So what’s up with this sudden urgency of
yours to get me to stay here?”

“Because I see how attached Roman is to you.
He loves you, Monica.”

“Well, I could still see him when I leave
here. I don’t live that far from you.”

“Or you could just stay and make everything
simpler.”

“I can’t stay here. This is
your
house. I’m just your live-in babysitter.”

“You know what – forget it. Forget I said
anything, ah’ight?”

Sean stormed out of my room, slamming the
door. Sean was the kind of man that wanted what he wanted, and if
he didn’t get what he wanted, he would become very irate. But I
can’t be a people pleaser. Don’t get me wrong, I loved little Roman
Beauvais like he was my very own son, but the truth is, he isn’t my
son.

Warren dropped Roman back off at home
shortly after Sean left my room. He was sleep, of course, since it
was pretty late. While Sean put him to bed, I snuck out back by the
pool to get some fresh air. It was a beautiful warm night, with a
pleasant breeze floating off of the lake. It was so relaxing that I
could just sit out there all night and stare up at the stars that
lined the night sky.

Twenty minutes into my alone time, I saw the
kitchen light come on. I knew it wouldn’t be long before Sean
discovered where I was. He opened the back door and came walking
towards me.

“What are you doing out here?”

“I couldn’t sleep.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked politely.
Just a few minutes ago, he was ready to go off, and now, he was
calmer than the ocean before a violent storm. Who knows? Maybe he
was about to blow up again.

“No, I’m alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure, and if you don’t mind, I
would like to be alone, please.”

I had a lot of thinking to do. I had to map
out what my next move would be. I explored ways to make my
departure from the house as easy as possible without anyone getting
hurt, especially Roman.

“I’m just trying to help you.”

“Help me? You’re the one who started all of
this, Sean.”

“How did I start anything? I was just giving
you something to think about while you’re so busy being
selfish.”

“Oh,
I’m
selfish?
Me?
I gave
up everything I have to be here.” As I talked, I could feel small
tears running down my face. “I have nothing. You have everything.
And I gave up my life to come here and raise your son because you
can’t do it! And you have the audacity to call
me
selfish. I
am anything but…just because I don’t jump at the chance to do
everything you ask me to do does not make me selfish. It makes
you
selfish. But you know what…there is more to life than
just what Sean Beauvais wants.”

“All I want is a mother for my son!”

“Well, I hope you find her, Sean! I hope you
do, but I’m not the one.”

Sean put his hands on his head out of
frustration and walked back into the house, furious. He might as
well have. I wasn’t trying to hear it at that point. I went to my
room and starting writing.

Entry 3

I can’t believe Sean called me selfish. And
it didn’t make any sense for him to run with this conversation like
this; blowing up because I said I wouldn’t date him. Did he have
that big of an ego that no woman was supposed to turn him down? Or
was he truly interested in dating me? He flirts with me all of the
time, but that’s what good-looking men usually do. I just smiled
and thought nothing of it. Now, he’s angry because it seems as if
he wants me to be Roman’s mother. What exactly have I gotten myself
into?

- - -

In the middle of my thoughts, there was a
knock at the door. “Monica.” It sounded like Victoria. I rushed off
the bed to open the door.

“Hi, Mama V.”

“Hi. You want some company?”

“Sure. Come on in.”

“I hope it’s not too late.”

“Oh, no. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Is everything alright? Sean looked a little
upset just now.”

I shut the door as she walked in my room
with a big Prada bag on her shoulder.

“Yeah, everything is everything. We just got
into an argument.”

“About what?”

“Roman. Sean doesn’t want me to leave in
September.”

“Well, he has every right to want you to
stay. According to him, you’ve been nothing but good to my
grandbaby.”

“I try to be there as much as I can for
Roman.”

Victoria placed her bag on the floor, and
then she sat down on my bed. “Come here, hun.”

I walked over to her in my teal
spaghetti-strap camisole and shorts and sat next to her on my
bed.

“Sean means well. He just wants to provide
Roman with the best life he can. You know he adopted Roman,
right?”

“Really?” I had heard Roman was adopted. Now
the rumor was confirmed.

“Yeah. He just wants Roman to have a mother,
but don’t let that stress you out.”

“I know, Mama V, but I’m just so irritated
right now.” I laid back on the bed.

Victoria took my hairbrush from off of the
dresser and removed my ponytail holder. “This is what I used to do
when Nikki would come home from school stressed out,” she said. “It
relaxed her so much, it put her to sleep.”

A few strokes from the hairbrush did relax
me quite a bit. Then Victoria removed a photo album from her bag
and flipped it open.

“There’s my family together.”

“You guys look so beautiful together.”

“Thank you.”

“Here’s a picture of Warren, Derrick, and
Sean when they were five years old.”

“Wow. They look like Roman, or should I say
Roman looks like them. Are you sure he’s adopted?” We laughed
together.

I kept flipping through their memories.
Victoria must have had a picture for every single stage in their
life, all compiled in one lovely album. Just sitting there staring
into the album made me feel like I grew up with them.

“Sean told me that he had some French
roots?” I told her.

“Yeah. My father was French. My mother was
white, so I guess you can just say I’m white to keep it simple. I
do a lot of tanning, though.”

“Yeah, I see. You look good.”

“Thanks, hun.”

“So how did you meet Sean’s father, if you
don’t mind me asking?”

Victoria smiled. “Oh no…not at all. I love telling
this story. One year, me and my boyfriend went to vacation in
Haiti. His name was Jean-Pierre. He was French, too. We stayed at
the Kaliko Beach Resort and it was beautiful. It was nice and hot.
The crystal clear water was warm, and the tranquil waves could put
you to sleep in a matter of seconds. The air was fresh, palm trees
were plenty, and it was the most pleasurable atmosphere I’d ever
been in. So there we were lying on the beach under all this
perfection, when I decided to go and get a drink. I had a huge
glass full of strawberry margarita, and on my way back to lie
underneath my umbrella, I saw all these beautiful paintings. And
that’s when I met him. So, to make a long story short, I bought one
of his paintings, we exchanged numbers, and the rest is
history.”

“Aw…that sounds so romantic. What was his name?”

“Ron. He was something else.”

“What happened to your boyfriend?”

“I broke up with Jean-Pierre a few days later.
Somehow, I knew Ron was the one.”

“How did you know he was the one?”

“He had this incredible presence. He was
sophisticated, talented, handsome, and most importantly, he knew
how to treat a lady. I lost myself when he died. Sometimes, my
friends ask me if I’m ready to start dating again. You know what I
tell ‘em? I ain’t never going to find another man like Ron.”

“I feel that exact same way. Back in high school, I
dated this guy. His name was Cornelius. I haven’t dated a man since
him because I loved him so much. It’s like no other man can even
compare to him. I don’t even have a desire to date.”

“You know Sean is single.” Victoria threw that in
the conversation real quick. “He hasn’t dated much since the
divorce.”

“So he used to date a lot before Shanelle?”

“Not really. I only met one woman that Sean dated
and that was Shanelle. There was another woman that he was dating,
but I never got the chance to meet her. He kept quiet about her.
Sean has never been one to chase after women. A lot of women chase
him, but he’s focused. He knows what he wants. Now, Derrick on the
other hand is another story. I told that boy to leave all those
girls alone.”

“He didn’t listen to you, huh?”

“Not at all.” Victoria put her pictures back into
her bag.

After letting out a deep sigh, I asked her, “Do you
think I’m wrong for leaving Roman?”

“You mean this September?”

“Yeah. Sean was really upset.”

“I think Roman will be alright. It’s Sean I’m
worried about.”

“What do you mean?”
“I can’t be sure, hun, but I think Sean likes you more than you
know.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, I have a very good relationship with all of
my children, especially Sean. And lately, every time we talk, it’s
always Monica this, Monica that. Every time we talk, he mentions
your name.”

I smiled at her, but I had no reason to believe Sean
was feeling me the way she thought he was. If so, that was
something I wasn’t ready to deal with. My thoughts were interrupted
by a few knocks at the door.

“Come in,” I said as I sat up on the bed.

Sean’s eyes were locked on me hard like he hadn’t
seen me all day. Maybe it was seeing me with my hair down that made
him look at me like that. I remembered how much he liked it
down.

“Ah…hey, Mom.”

“Hey, son. What’s going on?”

“I just wanted to see Monica for a minute.”

“Oh, okay. It’s time for me to go anyway.” Victoria
got her bag, then gave me a hug. “I’ll see you later.”

“Okay. Take care, Mama V. Bye.”

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Sean told his
mother.

Great. Now I have to sit here and wait until he gets
back. What does he want to see me for anyway? We had our argument
for the night.

He came back about five minutes later, while I was
standing at my dresser looking for my vanilla lotion.

“I’m sorry,” he said, as he stood in the
doorway.

“Sorry for what?” I kept my back towards him while
reaching in the top drawer, looking under my panties and socks for
the lotion bottle.

“Can you look at me?” Sean slowly walked towards me
until he was standing right in front of me in my personal space.
For the sake of keeping the peace and my sanity, I looked at him.
“I’m sorry for calling you selfish. I was upset.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I just want you to know that I’m sorry,
Monica.”

“Okay,” I replied, but I really wasn’t trying to
hear it.

After finally finding my lotion, I walked over to
the bed and began applying it to my legs. Sean watched for a minute
without saying a word. I didn’t say anything to him either. Then he
walked out.

Chapter 15 -
More Drama

The next morning was the same ‘ol same ‘ol. I fixed
a bowl of Fruit Loops for Roman and sat in the family room with him
watching cartoons. Warren walked in with Nikki.

“Yo…what’s up, Monica?” Warren asked.

“Nothing much.” That’s what I said, but my
eyes were puffy, evidence of crying. I’d been crying on and off for
most of the night. Sean had me second-guessing my decision to leave
in September, making me feel guilty about leaving Roman behind.
Warren noticed my swollen eyelids right away.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

“Monica, come here and let me talk to you
outside for a minute,” Nikki said. We went to the deck at the back.
“What did Sean do? Because I know he did something.”

My eyes watered but I didn’t cry. “We just
got into an argument about him finding a mother for his son or
something like that. It’s like he was trying to insinuate that he
wanted me for the job…said he doesn’t know what he’s going to do
when I leave in September and how Roman adores me and…”

“Well, Roman does adore you, Monica. He
loves you. We all know that.”

“I know, Nikki, and I don’t want to hurt him
when I leave. It’s almost August and I’m afraid now that if I stay,
I’m only going to cause more problems.”

“I know Sean wouldn’t want you to leave
right now…I don’t want you to leave now. Besides, I only have
brothers. Who am I going to talk to about female stuff if you
leave, girl?” Nikki tapped me on the shoulder.