Secrets On Lake Drive (14 page)

I sniffed. “Guess you have a point.”

Nikki smiled. “You know, Roman isn’t the
only reason why Sean doesn’t want you to go.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, my brother is crazy about you,
girl.”

In all honestly, I knew Sean was feelin’ me.
I was feelin’ him, too, but I wasn’t too thrilled about my
circumstances. When I met a man that I considered to be date
worthy, I wanted to be sure I was successful in my own life. At
this stage, I wasn’t quite there yet.

Nikki continued talking. “He can be a little
big-headed at times, but he’s my brother, the one who taught me how
to ride my bike and the one who told me that everything would be
all right after my first break-up. He’s a sweetheart, Monica. He’s
just had some bad things happen to him along the way.”

“I know that, Nikki, but…”

“So, if you know that, don’t give up on him
now. Okay?”

“Yeah, alright.”

I left the house to spend some time alone,
doing something that made every woman feel good…shop. I found some
fruity body sprays from Victoria’s Secret and some sugar body
scrubs and lip-gloss. I took my time at the mall. It’s not like I
wanted to go back home anyway. I desperately needed some time alone
to clear my head.

I didn’t get back until around noon and
found Sean’s family and friends there, about thirty people. He was
cooking on the deck and Roman was playing with his cousins in the
backyard.

When I slid the glass patio sliding door
open, Nikki saw me right away.

“Hey, Monica!” she yelled. “Come here. I
want to introduce you.”

I turned around and walked back in the
house, leaving Nikki’s request unanswered. Hope she didn’t think
that was rude of me, but I wasn’t in the mood to meet more people
and I didn’t feel good. I went to my room and took two Tylenols. As
soon as my booty touched the bed, I heard a knock at the door.”

“Come in,” I yelled.

“Hey girl, why don’t you come outside with
us?” Nikki summoned. “I want you to meet my cousins and friends…and
Sean cooks a good bratwurst.”

“Nah, that’s okay. That’s your family, not
mine. I’ll just stay here.”

“Oh, come on, Monica,” Nikki said in a last
effort to get me to come outside.

“No, that’s okay. I’m not trying to be
difficult or anything, so I hope you don’t take it that way.”

“Okay, girl. I’ll see you a little later on
then.”

“Ah’ight. Have fun.”

Nikki went back to join the family, while I
went back to channel surfing. Then I took out my journal. Writing
in that thing was becoming an addiction.

Entry 4

I haven’t talked to Sean so far today. But
walking through the mall, he was all I could think about. I thought
I was supposed to be writing about Cornelius in this journal, but
lately, it seems that Sean has been the topic of discussion. I
talked with Warren about Sean, then with Nikki about Sean. Now it’s
always Sean, Sean, Sean. It upsets me the way he tries to make me
feel guilty for leaving Roman, but it’s not like that is a spur of
the moment decision I can make. It was well known upfront that
September would be the time when I left. When Roman was back in
sch….

- - -

“Why aren’t you outside with the rest of
us?” Sean asked, as he came in my room wearing a green apron with a
spatula in one hand and a Miller Lite in the other and smelling
like smoke from the grill. He almost scared the life out of me. I
hurried and slid the journal under my pillow.

“Don’t you know how to knock?”

Sean walked to the side of the bed. “Monica,
don’t do this, ah’ight?”

“Don’t do what? You’re the one busting into
my room like you’re crazy.”

“Why aren’t you outside with us?”

“Because I don’t want to be. That’s your
family out there, not mine. I don’t belong out there, just like I
don’t belong here.”

“My family wants to meet you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a part of my life, that’s
why.”

“I’d rather stay inside…sorry.”

“Why? Because you’re still mad at me?”

“It’s not about you, Sean?”

“Okay, then who is it about, because I thought it
was about Roman?” Sean said, remembering my previous comment
stating that I would do anything for Roman. I couldn’t argue with
that. “Everything is about Roman, right? That’s Roman’s family out
there and they want to meet you. Now come on. You have plenty of
time to be mad at me later. Come on.” Sean grabbed my hand and
pulled me up off of the bed.

“Wait,” I said frantically. “I don’t have on
any makeup and I need to change clothes.”

Sean continued pulling me. “You don’t need
makeup. You look fine. Come on.”

I was looking a mess. My hair was in a
ponytail and I had on some modest khaki shorts with a faded black
tank top from two summers ago. I sat at an umbrella table with
Victoria, Nikki, and Sean’s Auntie Josephine. Roman came running
over to me since he hadn’t seen me for most of the day.

“Hey, Mommy,” he said, giving me a hug at
the same time.

“Hi, sweetie. What you up to?”

“Pwaying ball with my cousins. Will you pway
with me?”

“Sure, sweetheart. I’ll be over there
soon.”

“Okay. I’ll be back.” Roman ran off to
play.

I engaged in conversation with the women of
the Beauvais family, listening to Sean’s aunt tell stories about
him when he was younger. Nikki just laughed, while Victoria was
pretty much laid back, enjoying spending time with her family that
she loved so much.

I had to excuse myself to play ball with Roman, who
was playing football with Damarion and Dallas in the area of the
yard that was parallel to the fenced-in pool. The three boys were
on one side of the yard and I was on the other. Roman threw the
ball to me first. That boy had an arm on him. I didn’t think he
could throw the ball that far, but he sure fooled me. I caught it
and threw it to little Dallas. He didn’t catch it. He just ran
behind the football until it stopped. Then he picked it up and gave
it to Damarion to throw. By that time, we’d become entertainment
for the family. Everyone just sat around and watched us. Damarion
threw the ball at me and I went in for the catch. I missed. When I
bent over to pick up the ball, a sharp pain hit me in my lower
abdomen. It was so painful that I fell over, feeling like I’d just
been stabbed. I thought I was going to pass out. Before I knew it,
everyone was surrounding me.

“Call 911!” I heard Sean yell before he fell
to the ground by my side. “Monica! Monica! Can you hear me?”

I could hear him, but I was out of it. I was
in so much pain, I didn’t even have the strength to speak. I
couldn’t move a muscle.

“Monica!” Sean shouted again. I caught a
glimpse of him next to me on the ground. “Monica, stay with me,
baby. Stay with me.”

“Daddy, what’s wrong with Mommy?” I faintly
heard Roman asking Sean.

“Nikki, take Roman inside,” Sean instructed
his sister.

I could hear Roman crying as he walked away
from me.

“Monica! Monica, sweetheart, help is on the
way. Stay with me, baby.” Sean’s voice was shaky, like he was
crying. He had his arms wrapped around me and I could feel his hand
beside my face. “Monica!” He manually opened my eyes and I could
feel his tears as they fell on my face.

That’s all I remembered. When I woke up, I
was lying in a hospital bed listening to a beeping heart monitor.
It felt like the all-white room was spinning and my vision was
blurred. Looking to my right, I could see someone sitting next to
my bed.

“Sean, is that you?” I whispered.

“Nah, sweetie. It’s Warren.”

“Oh. Hey.”

Warren moved closer to the bed. “Sean just
went to get you some ice chips and apple juice. How do you
feel?”

“Tired…very tired.” I took a moment to look
around the room again. “Where’s Roman?”

“He’s with Mama.”

As my eyes focused, I could see that my room
was full of flowers.

“Where did all the flowers come from?”

“Oh, ah Keisha, Nikki, Derrick, Roman,
me…pretty much er’body brought you flowers. And you see all those
flowers by the window?” I looked over and saw about eight bouquets
of roses. “Sean bought all of those.”

“He did?”

“Yep.”

I looked at the flowers again.

“So is Roman okay?”

“Roman is fine, Monica. It’s you who we’re
worried about.”

“What happened?”

“Well, you were playing catch with the boys,
and the next thing I know, you’re on the ground just barely
conscious and Sean was yelling for someone to call 911. It scared
me and Sean was definitely scared. I have never seen him panic like
that.”

Sean came walking in the room with a tray.
He had some water, ice, apple juice, crackers, and a salad.

“Well, hey there,” he said, looking at me.
He must have been surprised to see me awake since I was sleep when
he left the room. I was so groggy, I could hardly smile at him.

“I’m heading out. I’ll see you later,
Monica.” Warren gripped my hand. “Take care,” he said and then left
the room.

Sean took the seat Warren was initially
sitting in and scooted closer to the bed.

“How do you feel?”

“Tired and dizzy.” I tried to sit up, but
Sean gently pushed me back down.

“You need to relax, Monica.”

“What happened to me?”

“The doctor said it was appendicitis. Last
night, you had emergency surgery to have your appendix
removed.”

“The last thing I remember is falling to the
ground. I ruined your cookout, didn’t I?”

“Monica, I don’t care about the
cookout.”

“When can I get out of here?”

“They want to keep you for a couple of
days.”

“I don’t want to stay here for a couple of
days. I want to go home.” I started crying like a little girl. “I
don’t want to be here.”

“Don’t cry, sweetheart. I’m going to be
right here with you, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

“How’s Roman doing? Did I scare him?”

“Roman’s fine.” Sean wiped tears from my
face with a napkin. “Monica, you need to relax. Stop crying and try
to get some rest.”

“I’m fine, Sean.” Just when I said that, a
sharp pain hit me in my lower abdomen. “Ouch! Ahh!”

“Are you okay?” Sean quickly jumped up.
“Should I call the nurse?”

“No, don’t call the nurse. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It was just a sharp pain. It’s gone
now.”

“Ah’ight. See, that’s what I’m talking
about. Don’t get yourself all worked up. I don’t want you to hurt
yourself.”

Sean poured apple juice in the cup of ice
that he brought for me. “Sit up just a lil’ bit so you can drink
some of this.”

I sat up as he instructed, took a few sips,
and then returned to my original position.

“You know, you really scared me. I thought I
was going to lose you.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” I dried my
eyes and tried to relax like Sean told me to.

“I know you didn’t.”

“And if I have to stay here for a couple of
days, then fine, but I want you to be home with Roman,” I said
tearfully. I doubt if Sean heard anything I said. “You shouldn’t be
here with me.”

“Well, guess what? I’m here and I’m not
leaving.”

“Sean, I would rather you be with
Roman.”

“Roman is fine, Monica. Mama is taking care
of him. I’m concerned about you right now.”

Sean was adamant about staying with me. It’s
not like I didn’t want him to stay, but circumstances such as this
warrants family members to stay with me, not Sean. He wasn’t any
kin to me. Keisha was my family. Granted, she wasn’t any kin to me
either, but she became my family by frequent association.

“I can get Keisha to stay with me,” I told
him.

Sean was becoming more and more testy.
“Monica, visiting hours are over. Keisha was here earlier, but you
were sleep. And why is it so hard for you to accept that I want to
stay with you?”

“I would just rather you be with Roman.”

“Why? You’re not used to someone caring for
you?”

Actually, I wasn’t used to someone caring for me or
about me. I was so used to taking care of myself, even from an
early age. Sean got up out of his chair and leaned down in front of
me. His face was directly in front of mine, as we both shared the
hospital bed pillow.

“I want to be here for you. Ah’ight? I want
to. But if you tell me that you don’t need me to be here, then I’ll
leave.”

Looking into Sean’s eyes, I could see his
seriousness in wanting to stay with me and I knew he meant what he
said. If I wanted him to leave, he would pick up his stuff and
bounce. That’s just the type of cat Sean was.

“Do you want me to leave?” he whispered.

“No.” I didn’t want to be alone in that
hospital…no matter how much I tried to play the hard role.

“Okay, good. Because if you said yes, I
still wasn’t going to leave you.”

Sean licked his lips and then pushed them
against mine. I won’t call that a kiss, but whatever it was, it was
enough to make me tremble.

Instantly, I felt a connection with Sean. It
was obvious the man cared about me. Otherwise, he would have spent
his time elsewhere. But he didn’t. He spent his time with me,
caring for me and about me.

I had wanted him to leave only because I
didn’t want to feel indebted to him. I could see the day now when
it’s time for me to leave the castle for good and Sean is begging
me to stay another day saying something like, “You remember I
stayed with you in the hospital those two days”. The last thing I
needed was to be forced to make a decision based on a nice gesture
like that, because I would be forced to say yes no matter what it
was that he wanted.

I didn’t want to owe Sean any favors. I just
wanted to finish my job and get out of his house before we became
any closer.