Secrets On Lake Drive (8 page)

WHEN WE ARRIVED at the carnival, Roman
immediately wanted to get on the oversized, air-filled slide
first.

He pulled me by the hand. “Mommy, wet’s
go.”

“Okay, sweetie. Calm down a lil’ bit. We’re
going to get there. Mommy has to buy some tickets first.”

I briefly reflected on my Freudian slip, the
fact that I’d just referred to myself as mommy. It was a good
feeling actually, to be somebody’s mommy, and I always loved
children.

“Monica, why are you getting three bands,”
Sean asked, as I walked up to the ticket booth and ordered three
wristbands.

“So we can all ride together. Duh!” I handed
the clerk thirty-six dollars.

“I’m not riding anything,” Sean asserted. He
was thirty-two years old, and though he would normally take Roman
to carnivals, he never participated. He just went for his son.

“Yes, you are, Sean. Loosen up a
lil’ bit, okay? You’re the one who wanted to come. Now you can at
least have fun with us.”

After we walked over to the slide,
I stood in line with Roman, while Sean stood off to the side. He
didn’t get on the slide with us, but that’s cool. I didn’t expect
that he would participate much, even after the two-minute pep talk
I gave him.

When Roman and I were down the
slide and safely back on solid ground, Roman asked, “Mommy, can we
ride the Ferris wheel now?”

“Sure we can, sweetie. We can all fit in one
of those buckets,” I replied, looking at Sean.

It was obvious that he was out of his
element, and for a brother that had something slick to say every
time I opened my mouth, he sure was quiet. Too quiet.

“Sean, are you going to ride with us, or did
you just come out here to look cute?” I looked at him, but couldn’t
read his facial expression nor see his eyes because of the dark
shades he wore.

“Sean? Did you hear me?” He just stood there
like a statue, and that’s when I slowly slid the shades off of his
face. Then he smiled, showing off those glistening white teeth. His
eyes were strong like lightening, and while he stood staring at me,
I felt like he could see right through me.

“Of course, I heard you.”

“Okay, so are you going to ride this
time?”

“Yeah, I’ll ride this time.”

“Yessss!” Roman shouted, thrilled that his
dad was going to get on the Ferris wheel with him.

While in line, I turned around to look at
Sean, who was standing behind me. “You know, I’m still trying to
get used to him calling me mommy,” I whispered to him.

“Yeah, I know,” Sean simply replied.

He seemed distant, like he wasn’t used to
having fun. He was more accustomed to playing the corporate head
guy in charge, hiring and firing, closing deals…that type of
thing.

The line finally inched up enough for us to
get on the Ferris wheel. Roman and I sat on one side and Sean sat
opposite of us. Before the ride started moving, I took out my
digital camera and took a picture of the three of us together,
after asking Sean to lean over by us. Then I handed the camera to
Sean so he could take a picture of me and Roman. He did, admiring
the way our faces were pressed together.

After the ride started, Sean sat there
flipping through my camera, looking at the pictures we had just
taken. “That’s a beautiful picture,” he commented on the one photo
the three of us were in. “We look like one happy family, huh?”

“What do you mean?” I asked him.

“I mean, it looks like we are a family in
this photo.”

“What are you talking about, Dad?” Roman
said. “We are a family now that I have a mommy.”

Kids…you never know what will come out of
their mouths. The crazy part was, Sean sat there and agreed with
him, while all I did was smile.

After all the fun and games, we arrived home
about nine o’clock that night. I put Roman to bed, took a shower,
and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Sean was sitting
at the kitchen table.

“Hey, Sean,” I said, while taking a glass
out of the cabinet.

“Hey. I really do appreciate what you’re
doing with Roman. This morning you alluded to me not appreciating
you, and I just want to let you know that I do appreciate you. I’m
thankful for everything you’ve done for us.”

“Thanks, Sean, but I’m just doing my job,” I
said casually, as I filled my glass with tap water.

“Monica, there’s some Fiji water in the
fridge,” Sean pointed out. He never drank tap water. He lived on
Fiji.

“Tap water is fine. I’m not one of those
health nuts who think all water is bad and filled with impurities –
and if it is, we have to die of something, right?” I replied, then
took a sip.

“Oh, now isn’t that a positive outlook on
life,” Sean said sarcastically. I couldn’t help but laugh. “But
getting back to Roman, you’re doing more than your job.”

“Well, I do what I can. I mean, that’s
what you pay me for, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“What do you mean ‘you guess so’? That’s not what
you pay me for?”

“Well, yeah. I just didn’t know he would be
so taken by you. He calls you mommy and looks up to you. He
automatically looks to you for direction.”

“Well, that’s just probably because I was his
teacher.”

“And he calls you his mother…”

“As I recall, that’s
your
fault. I didn’t
want him to call me mommy because I didn’t want him to get too
attached to me. What’s going to happen when I leave?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about that
right now.”

I finished my glass of water. “Well,
I’m going to bed. Have a good night.” I headed for the
stairs.

“Goodnight. Oh, and by the way, I really did
have a good time today,” Sean said.

“Good. You need to let your hair down
once in a while.”

I smiled and so did he. Then I went upstairs
to prepare for bed.

Chapter 10 –
Misunderstood

Sean went to work the next day. He usually didn’t
work on Sundays, but he said he needed to tie up some loose ends.
He had a big meeting with one of his clients on Monday and wanted
to be well prepared. I sat in the kitchen while he ate his
Nutri-Grain bar and drank a glass of bitter grapefruit juice. On
his way out, he asked me if his necktie was straight and if he had
any crumbs around his mouth.
Isn’t this something
? I felt
like wifey as I straightened his Ralph Lauren Purple Label solid
black tie. There weren’t any crumbs around his mouth – just a pair
of sexy lips and a matching mustache.

He stayed at the gig for the better part of the day,
while I was at home bored out of my mind. I knew Roman was just as
bored as I was, so I decided to take him to Fun World. I called
Sean a couple of times, and since he didn’t answer, I left a
message for him:

Sean, it’s about seven o’clock and I’m taking Roman
to Fun World for a little while. So, if you’re looking for us,
that’s where we’ll be. Try not to work too hard. Later.

Roman and I had a good time at Fun World,
which was filled with screaming children who were running around
frantically looking for the next game where they could score a lot
of tickets. Together, we earned about 583 tickets, which Roman
turned in for prizes – two sour powers, three airheads, five dum
dums, three packs of bottle caps, ten packs of sixlets, twenty
tootsie rolls, six individually wrapped twizzlers, and a
multi-colored neon slinky.
All that candy – I’m sure that’s
going to make Sean happy. Yeah, right.

We had only spent about an hour there, and
after Roman’s candy was bagged, we left. On the way home, Sean
called my cell.

“Hey, Sean.”

“Where are you?” he yelled in my ear.

“I’m in Brookfield. I took Roman to Fun
World. Why are you yelling at me?”

“I told you to never leave this house
without letting me know first!”

“I left a message on your cell phone,
Sean!”

“Which phone?”

“Your personal number.”

“Ah’ight. Well, just get here.”

The nerve of this guy. Don’t know how it
is that he figures he can get angry with me because
he
didn’t check all of
his
cell phones, and then he
just hang without even apologizing.

When we got home, Roman went running up to
his father, showing him all the candy he had. Sean was sitting on
the couch like he was waiting for us to get there. Warren was
sitting in a recliner opposite of Sean.

I was disappointed and rightly so. Just when I
thought Sean and I were making strides towards getting along, he
springs this on me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the
brother had bipolar disorder or something. Whatever he had, I
wasn’t in the mood for it tonight.

“Hi, Warren,” I said, ignoring Sean
completely.

“What’s up, Monica? You look tired,” he
replied back.

“Yeah, I am tired. I’m heading to bed.”

I was so drained that I didn’t even have the energy
to engage in a decent conversation with Warren. All I wanted was my
bed. I jumped on it, hugged my pillow, and then heard banging on my
door.

“Who is it?” I yelled, knowing it was
Sean.

“Who do you think it is?” he yelled
back.

I got up and opened the door. “What do you
want?”

“I actually came up here to apologize to
you, but why are you locking the doors around here. I said from the
beginning, no locked doors. Please, do not lock this door
again.”

I was trying to get him out of my face as
fast as I could. So, I didn’t even argue over his weird demand.
Usually, I thought only people who were once imprisoned had issues
with that sort of thing. And from everything I know about Sean,
he’s never been to prison.

“Okay, I won’t lock the door. Is that all
you wanted?”

“No. Like I just said, I told you that I
wanted to apologize. I’m sorry. I was wrong and you were right. I
heard the message you left me.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

I walked over to my dresser to find some
clothes to wear to bed, leaving Sean standing at the door. It’s not
like I could lock it anyway, so there would’ve been no point in me
slamming it in his face…although I wanted to.
I’m sick of this
clown. Ugh!
I was ready to take a hot bath, snuggle in my bed
like a cat, and read my
Essence
magazine.
So much for
that.

“Wait a minute – I’m apologizing to you and
all you can say is
yeah, whatever
?”

“Exactly, because you don’t mean it. You’ll be
yelling at me again tomorrow for something else stupid. It never
ends with you! First of all, who do you think I am – a kidnapper?
I’ve never done anything to hurt Roman. Yet, you treat me like I am
incapable of taking care of him, and I’m sick of it! If you don’t
want me to be here, then tell me and I will gladly leave! But don’t
treat me like a child and don’t treat me like I’m a threat to your
son, because I love Roman just as much as you do!”

I got a little choked up and had to dab my eyes to
keep from crying. Sean was really starting to get to me. I wanted
to quit, walk out, and just leave him standing there to argue by
himself.

“I said I was sorry. Ah’ight? I’m sorry,” he
said, before closing the door on his way out.

After coming downstairs, I found Warren
peeping out of the window looking at his brother, who was sitting
outside in his car trying to calm himself down, I suppose. He knew
he had a bad temper, and so did I, especially since I was on the
receiving end of most of his attacks.

“Hey, Monica…you ah’ight?”

“Yeah, I’m cool.”

“Look, I know my brother is a little rough
around the edges, but trust me, he means well. He just has crazy
ways of showing his emotions.”

“What’s wrong with him? You and Derrick
don’t act like that.”

“Yeah, but we haven’t been through the same
things he has. It’s like when his wife left…no, I take that back.
Even before he married her, he changed somehow and I can’t quite
put my finger on it. He was never happy with Shanelle. Quite
honestly, I don’t even know why he married her. He never really
seemed to love her. When they were together, I never seen him kiss
her or hug her for that matter. But anyway, what I’m trying to say
is, I don’t really know what’s going through his mind, but I do
know that no matter what, Sean is my brother and I love him. If you
get to know him like I know him, maybe one day, you’ll love him,
too. But since you’re only going to be with us for a short while,
just don’t give up on him and Roman. Even though Sean probably
wouldn’t admit it, he needs you right now.”

I respected that. I could always dig what
Warren had to say. He was the man that I wished Sean would be. And
to think that they looked identical.

“Okay. I’ll do my best, Warren.”

“Hey, that’s all you can do.”

“What is he doing out there anyway?”

“He’s sitting outside in his truck.”

“Maybe I should go and talk to him…”

“Are you sure about that? He looked pretty
upset when he came downstairs. He didn’t even say anything to
me…just kept on walking like I wasn’t even sitting here.” Warren
chuckled to himself.

“Well, I’ll go see what’s up.”

I opened the front door and walked towards
Sean’s Escalade, where he was sitting with the radio cranked up,
playing some reggae music. When he saw me approaching, he turned it
off and stepped out of the car.

“I’m sorry,” I said, while approaching
him.

“I’m the one that should be apologizing to
you. I know you love Roman, and I trust you. The only reason I was
upset is because I didn’t know where you guys were, and that’s not
to say I don’t trust your judgment. I just want to know where you
are at all times in case of an emergency.”

“That’s all?”