Secrets On Lake Drive (25 page)

“Well, I can’t help that. He
did
kick
me out. And even if I was still living there, I don’t see myself
being his direct source of happiness. That’s a little crazy, don’t
you think?”

“Maybe, maybe not. But I told you before you
left Sean didn’t mean any of that stuff he told you. He was talking
out of anger. Now, he realizes he made a mistake.”

What was I supposed to do? Go running back
to Sean like nothing ever happened between us? That definitely was
not going down.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, Warren. I
wish you all the best.”

Ready to be up out of there, I gripped the
handle on my shopping cart to move on down the cereal aisle and my
eyes caught sight of a box of Fruit Loops, one of Roman’s
favorites. It made me think about him…and how much I missed seeing
his cute little face every morning, how he cooked blueberry
pancakes for me, and most of all, how he called me mommy. I missed
him so much, I felt like crying in that store. But I took a deep
breath and kept it all in.

“Monica!” Warren called out to me.

I was halfway down the aisle. I turned
around and he was coming towards me with his shopping cart.

Warren looked me in the eyes and asked, “Do
you love him?”

Warren never asked me that before. It was
awkward enough to hold conversations this deep about Sean with
Warren, but at the moment, it was even harder since I was already
fighting back tears from missing Roman. Asking me if I loved his
brother was an intense moment for me, and my mother didn’t raise me
to be a liar. So, I had one of two options – tell Warren I did love
his brother, or flip the script back to him. I chose the
latter.

“Ah…ah…Why are you asking me that?”

“Because right now you’re acting like you
don’t care about him.”

“Why should I care about him after what he
did to me?”

“I’m not trying to get you upset in this
store, but you did things, too. You can’t put it all on Sean. I
mean, come on, Monica…you have to take responsibility for your
actions, too.”

Warren was right. Had I answered the phone
that night when Sean was blowing me up like I was running a call
center, our relationship would not have ended the way it did.

“You’re right, Warren. I can’t argue with
you about that one. I’ve come to respect you for your knowledge.
And I care about Sean. I really do.”

That was the truth. I did care about him.
For a short while, Sean and I had briefly bonded mentally, and it
almost turned physical, but things just ended on a sour note that
neither of us could have predicted.

“Then I tell you what. Mom and I are
throwing a party for him tomorrow night. He just won some award or
something, and we’re giving him a surprise party to try and cheer
him up a lil’ bit. Why don’t you come thru? I’m sure he would be
glad to see you.”

I had to take a minute to think about his
invite. I didn’t want the words
no way
to just come blurting
out of my mouth so quickly.

“Warren, I ca….” Before I could say
can’t
, he cut me off. He must have known what I was going to
say.

“Monica, please. I know you’re still mad at
Sean, but can you come for me?”

I could see the genuineness in his eyes. I
still wanted to say no, but I liked Warren. He was a very open,
honest-hearted person, and I could respect a man like him. I just
wished more of those qualities fell into Sean’s gene pool.

“Okay. I’ll come.”

His face brightened up. “Thank you, Monica.
I know he’ll be happy to see you.”

Yeah, right
. Why would he be happy to
see me? The man had it in for me. In Sean’s eyes, I could never do
anything right.

“What should I wear? Where is it going to
be?”

“It’s going to be at Sean’s crib…formal
wear. We’re expecting about sixty people.”

“Okay.”

“So I’m going to see you there, right?”
Warren asked for further confirmation.

“Yes, Warren, I’ll be there. I’m a woman of
my word.”

“Ah’ight. I’ll be looking for you.”

“Okay.”

We embraced and went our separate ways.

I was a little apprehensive about the whole
ordeal, but I didn’t want to disappoint Warren. He had been nothing
but nice to me. Now it was time for me to return the favor.

Chapter 24 -
The Party

I decided to go to his party, but only
because Warren asked me to and it would give me the opportunity to
see Roman. I did not get a chance to give him a proper goodbye when
I left, so to get that chance to talk to him was a plus. I wore a
bright-white, square-neck top and a black skirt that fell just
below my knees. My four-inch black, ankle strap Nine West stilettos
made my outfit hot. My hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and I
wrapped it up neatly in one cute little ball so my ponytail didn’t
swing. That was my sophisticated look. I didn’t want to wear my
hair down. I knew Sean liked that, and it wasn’t my aim to turn him
on in any way.

I had forgotten to ask Warren what time the
party was popping off, so I showed up around seven-thirty. Cars
lined the driveway. Even the side streets were full of his
visitors. That’s how I knew I was late. Walking up to the door, I
could hear and feel the vibrations of the music playing. The volume
rushed to greet me when I opened the door. It looked like the place
had been transformed into a local Milwaukee hotspot.

As soon as I walked in, I saw Warren sitting
with Sean. Our eyes met instantly, mine and Sean’s, but I kept it
short and looked away. My mind was made up – I wasn’t going to talk
to him tonight. That was my plan. If he would apologize to me,
maybe I would consider having a little conversation with him.
Maybe.

“Hey, Ms. Monica.” Warren walked up and gave
me a hug. “I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

I had to talk loud so Warren could hear me
over Kevin Lyttle’s “Turn Me On”
.
“I forgot to ask you what
time it started. So, I just took a guess.”

“That’s okay. I’m just glad you’re here. You
look beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. So anyway, Mom is over
there with Nikki. There’s an open bar near the dining room. Go
mingle. I’m sure I’ll run into you later.”

“Okay.”

My first order of business was finding the
open bar. A drink would help calm my nerves, and my nerves needed
to be calmed, especially if Sean was going to be staring at me all
night. Since I would pass Nikki and Victoria on the way to get
alcohol, I didn’t want to be rude, so I walked over to them and
they greeted me with hugs.

“I missed you guys. How are you?” I asked
them with my eyes on the bartender. I needed to get over there and
fast.

“We’re doing good,” Nikki said. “How ‘bout
yourself?”

“I’m doing okay.”
I’ll be a lot better if
I can get a drink, or two, or three.

“You’re looking good, too, girl. I like that
blouse.”

“Thanks, Nikki.”

“Monica,” Victoria said, getting my
attention, “did you see Sean?”

I see where her mind was. Of course, I had
seen Sean. The guy was sitting two tables away from us, staring at
me like I was the next best thing since chocolate. I turned to look
at him only to satisfy Victoria’s curiosity, and when I did, his
bright green eyes were set on me like I was the only person in the
room. He sat there twirling a glass of champagne like he was trying
to be cool.

“Yeah, I see him, Victoria.”

“Why don’t you go over and talk to him?”
Victoria was being a typical mother. Sean, however, didn’t need his
mom fighting battles for him. He held his own.

“I don’t think that’ll be a good idea. I
probably shouldn’t even be here. I feel uncomfortable now.”

“No, don’t say that. We really miss you
around here,” Nikki said, as she grabbed my hand to intensify the
sincerity of her words. “Loosen up a bit. You want something to
drink?”

Finally! Now I can make a mad dash to the
bar. Thank you, Nikki. Thank you.

“Yeah. I’m going to get a drink. I’ll be
right back.”

I downed a shot of Tequila at the bar and
then ordered a rum and coke before going back to the table to join
them.

“You know, Monica, it’s really been
different around here without you. And Roman…”

Anxious to know where he was, I cut Nikki
off. “Where is Roman?”

“He’s upstairs sleeping.”

I stood up. “I’m going to go up and see
him.”

I dismissed myself from the table, danced my
way through the dance floor, and went upstairs. I didn’t care that
Sean’s eyes were fixated on me. I wanted to see Roman. When I
peeped into his room, I could see him lying there quietly. I tipped
closer to the bed, kneeled down, and rubbed my hands across his
soft little face. It surprised me that he could sleep so soundly
with all the commotion downstairs.

I missed Roman. I wanted to spend some time
with him again. But it was too late for wishes. I kissed him on the
cheek and softly whispered
I love you, Roman
in his ear.
When I got up to walk out of the room, Sean was standing right
there at the door. He was quiet and his face lacked expression. He
wore a black, windowpane plaid suit with a crisp white shirt and
sea green necktie that brought out the radiance of his eyes. Still,
I didn’t know what he wanted with me. He just stood there, and
though I am a talented individual, I was in no way a mind reader.
So, I proceeded to walk past him, and when I did, he extended his
hands to rest just above my hips.

“Monica, I’m sorry.”

For a brief moment, I felt that spark in my
heart that wanted to ignite. I wanted to grab that man and squeeze
him as tightly as I could in my arms. But the game had been played
and I was not about to play it again. Sean didn’t want me. If he
did, he would not have thrown me out of his house. He would have
been more understanding when it came to my personal crisis with
Eric. Sean was too focused on his own life to recognize the issues
that plagued me.

“Sean, what are you doing?”

“I’m apologizing to you.” He rubbed my arms
up and down with his strong hands.

“For what? Throwing me out of your
house?”

“It wasn’t like that, Monica.”

“Then what was it like, Sean. Your exact
words to me were,
get your stuff and get out of my house
.
And get your hands off of me! Don’t touch me!”

I pushed his hands away from me and walked
past him. He hurried to catch me and grabbed my hand before I could
make it to the stairs at the end of the hallway.

“Sean, let me go!”

“No. You need to listen to me.”

I pushed and pulled, but I could not wiggle
free from him. That made me angrier.

I yelled louder, “Sean, let me go!”

“Just wait a minute, ah’ight!”

I stopped struggling to get free just to hear what
he had to say.

“I didn’t mean anything I told you that night,
Monica. I was talking out of anger.”

“Well, you know what, Sean? Now’s my turn to be
angry. I’m out.” I pushed his hands away from me and headed for the
stairs.

“Monica, I’m not going to lose you
again.”

For him to make such a bold statement like
that would imply he had me, and he didn’t have me. Maybe he was
referring to the babysitting gig, but still he didn’t have me.

I told him, “You can’t lose something you
never had,” and then I was out.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I
waved briefly at Nikki and Victoria, and I bounced. I hoped Warren
would not be upset at me for cutting out early, but I kept my word
and made an appearance. It was a bad idea for me to go there
anyway. I should have been at home wrapped in a blanket, with a
fuzzy navel wine cooler in one hand and the remote in the
other.

Instead, Warren had talked me into going to
that party for Sean. He must have known it was Sean’s intention to
try to make amends with me. And though I said I may listen to him
if he apologized, I didn’t feel up to dealing with Sean. Just
seeing him brought back bad memories of the constant bickering over
the most trivial issues. Hindsight being 20/20, I now realized it
was indeed a bad idea for me to move into his house. We started out
on the wrong foot when we first met. It could only go downhill from
there and that’s where it went.

That’s not to say there wasn’t a silver
lining on my rain cloud. We shared some good memories that had me
emotional. I remember the night we spent in his bedroom, listening
to some Haitian music and drinking rum. It was perhaps one of the
most relaxing moments I had the pleasure to enjoy with him. I
missed that. I missed hearing his voice and the way he said my
name. But what was the point of wallowing in memories? I did the
same thing with Cornelius and look where that’s gotten me. Nowhere.
So, I wasn’t going to travel that road again.

Besides, I had gone two months without any
interactions with Sean, with the exception of tonight, and since I
was on a roll, I might as well have kept it that way. There was no
need to go through with all the drama and spell out to him all the
wrongs he did towards me and vice versa. What’s done is done, and
now I look forward to my future and whatever it brings.

Chapter 25 -
An Unexpected
Visit

After my night of uneasiness and chaos, I
was looking forward to a relaxing day – a day that didn’t involve
anyone with the last name Beauvais. I got up off the couch, where I
had fallen asleep last night after the party, and made a pot of
coffee. Just when I had emptied the perfect amount of non-dairy
creamer into my Wisconsin Badgers coffee mug, the doorbell
rang.

Who could be trying to track me down this
early without calling?
I looked through the peephole and saw my
mom standing there.
What does she want?
I hadn’t seen the
woman in over three years. The last time we ran into each other was
when I was at the Blockbuster on 76
^th
and Appleton
renting a
Deliver Us From Eva
DVD. She barely said five
words to me then. Now she’s standing at my door at 8:37 in the
morning, looking like she’s too cold to even move.