Seduced By My Doms BN (35 page)

“He’s gone for good isn’t he, Ian?” My question came out in
a desolate wail, as a thousand, sharp spikes stabbed my brain.

“
Shhh
,” Ian soothed. “Don’t think
like that. Relax, little one. Stop worrying and stop thinking. You have to rest
your brain. Close your eyes. Everything’s going to be all right.”

“No, it’s not,” I murmured. Closing my eyes didn’t block the
overwhelming rejection. “It’s never going to be all right again.”

I wanted to go back in time; back to when Ryan first
approached me wanting to talk. I would have changed it all. Giving my trust to
a madman had cost me everything, and left me with nothing; nothing but more
memories to add to my haunted collection of regrets.

James had left me, taking the unmitigated joy, I’d felt
waking to find them by my bed, with him. I wanted to run after him, beg him to
forgive me. Find a way to make things right between us once more. But it was
too late. There was nothing I could do or say to fix the mistake I’d made.

Opening my eyes, I reached out and placed my hand on Ian’s
thigh. “I didn’t mean to disregard your wishes or hurt either of you. I know
James thinks I lied on purpose, but I didn’t. I’d never lie to either of you on
purpose. I know it’s a deal breaker for him. Probably you too. Help me, Ian.
Please make him understand that I didn’t lie, that I just make a stupid
mistake.”

“Stop, little one,” Ian commanded in a whisper.

As he combed his fingers through my hair I feared it might
be the last time I felt Ian’s caress. The thought made me want to curl up and
die.

“I know I’ve fucked things up. I don’t blame you two if you
walk away. I just want you both to know I never meant to hurt you. It wasn’t on
purpose, and I know the depth of damage I’ve done to us.”

“I said stop,” Ian growled with a sharp squeeze of my hand.
“We’ll sort this out later. You need to sleep. Turn off your brain and stop
thinking. Stop obsessing. The doctor said you need peace and quiet in order to
let your head heal. We’ll still be here when you wake up.”

But for how long?
Long enough for me to get well
then walk away and leave me? There had to be a way for me to make amends. But I
didn’t know if they’d even let me try.

Ian didn’t bother instructing me to use my words when I gave
him a tiny, disheartened nod, further augmenting the hopelessness settling deep
among the shattered rubble of my heart.

I felt Ian ease from the bed before he wiped the tears from
my cheeks. Pride kept me from reaching out to grab his arm, to beg and plead
that they give me one more chance to prove how deeply I’d fallen in love with
them. But when Ian bent and kissed my forehead, I didn’t even open my eyes. Instead,
I let shame and regret fill me and listened to him walk out the door.

Biting back the howl rising from inside me, I opened my eyes
and pressed the call button for the nurse. Longing to escape the hollow void
inside, I requested more pain meds. Watching the nurse empty the syringe of
liquid refuge into my IV tube, I closed my eyes. Tears spilled down my cheeks
as I welcomed oblivion.

Terrifying nightmares spooled in a never-ending loop. Though
I knew I was dreaming, I couldn’t force myself to wake. Memories melded in a
macabre movie with no beginning and no end. I found myself holding a gun and
sitting across from
Dayne
at his kitchen table. I
tried to force my hand open and release the weapon, but my fingers refused to
work.
Dayne
reached out and gripped my hand, forcing
my finger against the trigger as he raised it toward his mouth.

Sobbing and screaming for him to stop, I struggled to take
charge of the weapon. With some kind of inhuman strength,
Dayne
continued to raise the gun to his mouth, ignoring my pleas. I began telling him
all the reasons he needed to live, but
Dayne
just
shook his head and smiled, then wrapped his lips around the barrel. I tried to
climb over the table to stop him, but my body was frozen in the chair. All I
could do was scream and sob as
Dayne
angled the
weapon toward the roof of his mouth.

Suddenly James appeared. Standing directly behind my
brother, both men looked at me with sad, sympathetic eyes. I begged James to
help me stop
Dayne
, but my Dom only smiled wistfully.
Dayne
closed his eyes and squeezed my finger down on
the trigger. The gun exploded, tearing through both of them. A volcano of red
erupted over the walls, the table, and my body. A scream of terror ripped from
my throat.

“Liz.”

“Liz. Goddamn it, Liz.”

“Wake up, baby.”

Familiar, frantic voices called to me through the horrific
images of blood. Guilt sucked the air from my lungs. Gasping, I sat upright in
bed. Pain ricocheted through my head as I panted out a desolate cry. Hands
cupped my face, forcing my gaze, I found myself staring into James’ wild and
frightened eyes.

“That’s it. Come back to us, sweetheart,” he murmured
softly, the sound so totally incongruent with his expression I thought I was
still dreaming. “You had a bad dream, Liz. It wasn’t real.”

“You’re alive?” I choked, digging my nails into James’ arms.

“Of course I am, sweetheart. And so are you.
Shhh
, whatever the nightmare was about, it’s over. You’re
safe. I’ve got you.” Further proving the fact, James gathered me into his arms.

Sliding my arm around his back, I laid my head on his chest.
Ebbing slowly off the ledge of terror, I focused on the steady beat of his
heart. Drinking in the heat and feel of his sturdy body, I savored his living
form as if it were a fine wine.

“I’m sorry I went with Ryan. I’m sorry I disappointed you.
Sorry for everything. Please. Give me another chance, James. I won’t let you
down again. I promise. I need you. I want you. Please don’t leave me. I don’t
want to go back to existing… I want to keep living the way you’ve taught me
to.”

For once, I didn’t care that I sounded pathetic and weak.
Didn’t care that I opened my entire being to ultimate rejection. The nightmare
of losing him had terrified me past the desire to shield myself behind my
pride.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart, not without you. I know
you simply made a bad call, trusted someone who didn’t deserve your trust. I’m
sorry I lashed out at you like I did. I was scared. We almost lost you, baby. I
was out of my mind worried that Ian and I finally found the perfect woman for
us, and we almost had you ripped from our hands. We love you, Liz. We’ll never
turn our backs and walk away from you. Never.”

My head throbbed and my body ached, but the promise that
they weren’t going to leave me set my heart ablaze. Melded against his steely
chest, breathing in his familiar, calming scent made me feel as if I were
floating on clouds.

“Erase that worry from your mind, Liz,” Ian instructed, his
voice coming from behind me.

“I’m really sorry I lost my temper, Liz,” James’ voice
dripped in remorse. “I didn’t put your emotional or physical wellbeing ahead of
my anger.”

“James is trying to say that he broke the first rule of
Dominance,” Ian whispered sadly.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.” Guilt, thick and
heavy, coated his words.

“There’s nothing to apologize or forgive, James,” I assured
him, dragging my fingernails over his back. A tiny smile tugged my lips. “You
simply said what you were feeling. Open, honest communication, remember? It
goes both ways.”

“Yes it does,” James agreed. “But that doesn’t excuse—”

“I broke a promise, too. I’m just glad that my stupid
mistake isn’t going to ruin the amazing relationship I share with you two.”
Praying they heard the passion, the conviction, and the depth of truth in my
confession, I held my breath, waiting for one of them to speak.

Ian stood on the other side of the bed for several silent
minutes. His unreadable expression alarmed me. As I reached out for him, he
climbed onto the mattress and pressed in close behind me.

“We’re tenacious stubborn bastards. We don’t give up without
a fight. But then, neither do you. That’s one of the things I love most about
you, little one. We know you thought going with Ryan was safe,” Ian murmured
close to my ear. “We’ve already forgiven you, Liz. What we need to know is if
you can forgive James, and give him back your trust, so the three of us can
move forward together?”

“There’s nothing to forgive him for, but yes. I never took
my trust away, not from either of you.”

“Thank you, gorgeous,” James’ solid tone held relief. “I
won’t lose control of myself again, I promise.”

“Even if you do, I’ll always find a way to trust you, James.
You’ll make sure I do.”

A melancholy smile tugged the corners of his mouth. He bent
and pressed a sweet and poignant kiss to my lips. “How would you like to go
home?”

“Is that a trick question? I’d love to go home, but…” I
looked at the IV and the monitors by my bed.

Ian strummed his fingertips up and down my left arm. “Not
exactly home-home. You’ll have to spend a few more days in the hospital, but we
can take you back to Chicago when you’re ready.”

“I’m ready now,” I eagerly replied. “But how did you two
manage to pull that off?”

“
We
didn’t.” Ian held up his hands. “Your friend
Dr. Reynolds demanded that you be transported as soon as medically possible. He
told the physicians here that he would personally be held responsible for your
care.”

“He did?”

“Yeah,” James grumbled, suspiciously. “That guy has a crush
on you. I’ll be keeping a close eye on him.”

The green-eyed monster inside James was endearing, and more
than a wee bit funny.

“No he doesn’t. Relax, Tarzan. You and Ian fulfill all the
dreams I’ve ever had and probably a whole lot more I don’t know about yet.”

“Thankfully we’ll have time to investigate the new ones,”
James assured me with a wicked grin before sobering. “We thought if you were
surrounded by a few familiar faces, besides our own, you might heal faster and
feel more secure.”

“I’ve grown deeply fond of your familiar faces, I’ll have
you know.” The banter between us relaxed me far more than all the pain meds on
the planet. “But yes, I would love to go home, even if it means being cooped up
in a hospital room.”

“You’ll have plenty of visitors, beside us,” James promised.
“Cindy’s been burning up our cell phones, calling for updates every five
minutes since we arrived.”

I missed my bestie, and felt horrible that I’d put her
through such a scare. I couldn’t imagine life without my fiercely, protective
friend.

James tucked my hand in his. A serious expression settled
over his handsome face. “There’s a detective outside who wants to talk to you.
If you’re not up for answering his questions, we’ll tell him to leave. He can
call, or come to Chicago later to interview you.”

“No. I’d rather do it now,” I replied. “I don’t want this
dragging out and hanging over my head. Will you both stay in the room with me
while he’s here?”

“We’re not going anywhere, little one. I thought we cleared
that up.” Ian arched a brow.

His Dominant force sluiced through me like molasses. “Kiss
me, Sir. Please.”

Though he might have tried to hide it, I saw Ian’s hard
edges soften. A flicker of heat danced across his dark eyes as he leaned in and
gently nudged his mouth to mine. With a purr, I kissed him back, softly, but
with all the passion I held in my soul.

“Okay, you two. Before this spirals out of hand, I’ll go get
the cop. Keep your clothes on,” James chuckled.

The detective didn’t ask as many questions as I had
expected. But when he explained that Ryan had confessed to drugging and
kidnapping me, his short interrogation made sense.

Still, being forced to relive the ordeal brought back every
second of fear, and with it the realization that I could have easily died in
the accident. Like a fist, mortality landed hard in my gut, underscoring the
cowardly way I’d crawled inside my shell after
Dayne
died.

James and Ian found the key to free me from my self-imposed
asylum. Because of them, I discovered more strength and courage than I knew I
possessed. They stood right by my side throughout the questioning, chests
puffed out, shoulders pinned back, looking every inch badass, powerful,
protective
Doms
. I wasn’t well enough for what they’d
do to me if I told them they looked cute and adorable.

After the detective left, the three of us went through an
inordinate amount of paperwork, absolving the hospital of all negligence as we
readied for our departure. Ian and James patiently listened to a litany of
instructions should something happen to me during the flight before we were finally
cleared to leave.

As they prepped to take me down to the waiting ambulance, I
received another injection of morphine before my IV was removed. I tried to
fight the drug and stay awake, for fear the nightmares would return. But my
world turned fuzzy and black before we’d even reached the airport. Dreams did
come, but they were happy ones, filled with hope and promise, and the smiling
faces of my
Doms
.

When I surfaced to the land of the living once again, Cindy
stood next to my bed, holding my hand with tears trickling down her face.

“You’re going to mess up your make-up,” I murmured thickly.
“You want Sam seeing you looking a hot mess?”

Cindy choked on a sob and grinned. “Thank god you’re all
right.” She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “You scared the living shit out of
me. Don’t ever do that again.”

“It was never was on my list of things to do in the first
place.”

“I know, honey. I know.” Cindy smoothed a hand over my hair
with a watery smile. “You won’t be upset if I find Ryan and kill him with my
bare hands, would you?”