Seduced By My Doms BN (31 page)

“So I’m nothing more than an expendable submissive? Another
Destiny to you two?” The words spilled off my tongue like acid.

“No. You’ve…” He issued a soft humorless scoff. “For a woman
we’ve only known a few short days, you’ve crawled deep inside us, little one. Walking
away from you would pretty much devastate both of us, and that’s the truth.”

“Then why be so brutal about this?”

“I’m not trying to be brutal, just honest.”

Yes, Ian was blatantly honest, to a fault.

“My brother’s dead, Ian. There’s nothing anyone can do to
change that. Give it a rest. I’m not in the mood to slice myself open so you
can inspect the mangled pieces of my past.”

“I don’t give a shit if you’re in the mood or not,” Ian
replied on a choking air of entitlement. “Coming to terms with your past has a
price, just like nothing good comes easy. That’s not news to you, I’m sure. You
worked hard to be the nurse you are, but are you willing to work as hard for
our relationship to work? If you want something badly enough, you’ll find a way
to make it happen.”

“I
do
want this, Ian.”

“Good, because we want it, too. Difference is, we’re not the
ones dragging our feet. You say you want it? Prove it.”

Ian had taken a scalpel to the last fragile layer protecting
my heart, exposing my most reprehensible secret. I needed to buy more time.
Time to prepare for the fallout once they discovered I’d failed to save the
most important person in my life.

“I’m waiting,” Ian prodded with a scowl. “But my patience is
running out, girl.”

Keeping my eyes on the taillights of James’ truck, I opened
my mouth and began to spill every embarrassing and pathetic detail of my life.
All of it; from the double-standard expectations my mother drilled into my
head, and how she kicked my father out for being gay, to the unforgivable way
Councilman Cromwell—as well as myself—played a hand in
Dayne’s
suicide.

Thankfully I had to concentrate on the road and not buckle
beneath the weight of my remorse, revealing every scandalous detail. Ian sat
silently, taking it all in. In fact, he didn’t say a word, even after I’d
pulled into James’ driveway and parked behind his truck.

Ian simply stared out the windshield, as if trying to
process everything I’d said. Anxiety blossomed in my belly. Had I been too
honest? Did he think me beyond redemption due to my dysfunctional upbringing?
Maybe he finally realized the badge of guilt I wore for
Dayne’s
death had been duly earned. I had a feeling Ian now regretted becoming involved
with me, that the landmines within me were too great a risk to guide me any
further down the path. The longer he sat, lost in his own thoughts, the more
convinced I became that total honesty wasn’t truly what Ian wanted to hear.

Regret bled through my veins. The interminable silence left
me nowhere to run, other than to conclusions and I quickly convinced myself
that this new and glorious relationship was over. It was bitter irony that I’d
managed to lose Ian, James, and Ryan, all in one day.

I didn’t bother to shut off my engine, I knew as soon as Ian
climbed out of my car we would be through. I wouldn’t beg or plead for a second
chance, because nothing I could do or say would erase my past. Besides, I
wasn’t about to cause a scene and tell them all their boasting and bragging
about honesty was nothing but bullshit. No, I wouldn’t sully the magic we’d
shared. Instead, I’d savor the memories and hopefully part as friends.

Gripping the steering wheel beneath white knuckles, I
clenched my jaw, willing back the tears that threatened to fall. James climbed
from his truck. His happy smile melted as he cocked his head and pinned me with
a quizzical stare.

My heart lodged in my throat. How was I going to find the
strength to leave these men? The thought alone sliced me in half. Our time
together would haunt me forever. But I would persevere. I’d sweep my regret
under the carpet—add them to my other numerous failures—and carry on.

James narrowed his eyes. As if clairvoyantly reading my
mind, his lips tightened into a thin line before he stormed toward my car.

Don’t beg. Don’t fight. Just bow out gracefully and
leave.

Finally, Ian swiveled in his seat. I felt his eyes boring
into the side of my head. Cupping my cheeks, he drew my attention back to him.

“I don’t know how you’ve done it, Liz. But you managed to
plow your way through a metric ton of shit in your life. And somehow you came
out on the other side, one of the most amazing, loving, caring women I’ve ever
met. Do you have any idea the inner strength you possess?”

Tears swelled in my eyes. I choked on a sob of relief as
Ian’s warm hands held me firm. The visceral connection between us only served
to reinforce how rash and reckless my thoughts had been. How could I have been
so stupid? So blind?

Tears tumbled down my cheeks, and Ian read the relief in my
eyes. His expression morphed into shock, then sympathy, before rolling into a
dark and stormy thundercloud like the skies above.

Beside me, the car door jerked open. I snapped my head from
Ian’s hands as James reached inside and turned off the ignition. Unclasping my
seat belt, he glared at me, his face lined in rage.

“Out of the car. Now,” James bellowed, as he took a step
back. “Why are you crying? What the fuck has happened?”

“I’m okay.” I sniffed, turning back at Ian. “It was a
misunderstanding on my part.”

Reaching down, I gave his hand a squeeze, then climbed out
and rushed into James’ arms. Refusing to let go or explain my rollercoaster
emotions, I simply held him tight.

The passenger door slammed shut, and seconds later Ian
pulled me into his arms.

“You can’t spend your whole life waiting for the other shoe
to fall, Liz. And I’m going to spank some sense into your ass until you realize
James and I are in this for the long haul. Do you understand me, sub?”

A deaf person couldn’t miss the conviction and authority in Ian’s
voice. James pressed in behind me. The buttery warmth of his body seeped into
my veins. Their masculine scent swirled around me like a cyclone of
reassurance, forcing my imagined rejection away.

“Why are you crying?” James asked again. His velvet voice
rippled over me in a cascading waterfall of serenity.

“I—I was afraid that neither of you would want me anymore,”
I confessed, no longer frightened to let the truth to flow off my tongue.

“You what?” James barked. “Why the hell would you think
that?”

“We have our work cut out for us,” Ian soothed. “We have a
hell of a strong woman between us. Problem is, she doesn’t realize it. At least
not yet.”

Pride filled me as Ian slanted his lips over mine.

James nuzzled the slope of my neck. “You’ll have to fill me
in,” he murmured against my flesh. “Let’s head inside so we can sit down and
talk.”

Ian stepped back. “It won’t be nearly as hard to tell the
second time,” he promised, sliding his hand to my spine and leading me toward
the front door.

Peeking over my shoulder, I watched James grab my overnight
bag from the backseat before jogging up to Ian and me. Slinging his arm around
my waist, my
Doms
guided me inside the house.

While Ian phoned in our order of Chinese delivery, James
helped me unpack in his room. A short time later, the three of us sat sprawled
out on the leather couch, eating fried rice, Lo Mein, and Kung
Pao
shrimp. The conversation over dinner was airy and
light, but the elephant in the room loomed and was impossible to miss. Pressing
a hand to my belly, I announced that I was full. Ian took the chopsticks from
my hand and placed a sweet kiss on each of my palms.

“You may begin, again,” Ian instructed.

With a timid nod, I turned to face James. Raising my chin, I
began revealing to him all that I had told Ian in the car. But he’d been wrong.
It wasn’t as easy the second time around. I didn’t have the luxury to focus on
anything other than James and the expressions fluttering over his handsome
face.

When I was finished spilling everything to James I held my
breath and sent up a silent prayer that he would view my brackish background
with the same unguarded acceptance as Ian.

“So, you’ve been blaming yourself for
Dayne’s
suicide, all these years?” James asked. I nodded, and he exhaled a heavy sigh.
“Oh, baby…no.”

He reassured me that I had no control over my brother’s
decision, the same way Ian had. While they had eased my burden of guilt, I
finally understood, deep down, that
Dayne
had
made his own choices. But that did little to ease the pain that he chose to
leave me.

“I believe you both, I do. But I’ve spent so many years
taking on the onus for his death, I don’t know quite how to absolve myself.”

“We’ll find a way to help you work through that. If you’ll let
us,” Ian vowed. “I’m more concerned about the affect your mother has had on
your life, little one. But at least now I understand where all your damn
self-reproach comes from. You do realize she wasn’t—”

“—Worth a shit as a role model? Yes, I know,” I cut in with
a cynical tone.

“But you’re a grown woman, Liz.” Ian pointed out the
obvious. “You can choose to keep letting her brainwash you or leave her shit in
the past.”

“That’s easier said than done,” I groused.

“Yes, but sometimes you have to make a conscious decision to
let go of the things that make you unhappy.” Ian scowled.

Like Ryan.

“Remember what I told you in the car? If you want something
badly enough, you’ll find a way to make it happen.” Ian said with a
condescending ‘I told you so’ smirk, then sobered. “That applies to honesty,
and forgiveness, and a whole bunch more.”

Curled together on the couch, we talked until the wee hours
of the morning. Between Ian and James, the psychologist from Genesis Tony had
nothing on my
Doms
.

Mentally and emotionally exhausted by the time we were done,
I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. Putting
the suggestions Ian and James offered into practical use would be hard. But as
they took great pleasure in reminding me: ‘
You are a strong woman.
’ I
vowed to meet the challenge, put my past to rest, and move forward.

As we stripped and climbed into James’ big bed, I couldn’t
keep my eyes off their sculpted bodies or their long, heavy cocks tempting me
to drop to my knees and bring them pleasure.

James flashed me a menacing frown. His thick erection
jerked. “Stop looking at me like that, girl.”

“Why?” I giggled.

“Because, we’re not doing anything but holding you tonight.”

The smile fell from my mouth. “That’s all?” I asked as seeds
of rejection sprouted in my belly.

“Knock that shit off, this instant,” Ian growled. “Just
because we don’t plan to fuck you doesn’t mean we don’t ache to, so get that
notion out of your head. Tonight this bed is for aftercare.”

“We’re not willing to risk you taking another slide into
sub-drop,” James explained as he climbed into bed and patted the mattress. “We
opened you up sexually last night and emotionally tonight. So get your sexy
little ass into bed so we can hold you.”

Scampering onto the bed, I rolled toward him. Instinctively,
my hand reached for his ready cock, but I splayed my palm over his abs instead.

“This is going to be hard,” I moaned.

“We’re already hard,” Ian growled, fisting his cock, then
begrudgingly dropping his hand. “Sub-drop isn’t our only concern. Your cunt and
ass have to be sore.”

“I’m not that sore, Sir,” I assured with a shy smile.

“You are, for what we want to put you through,” James
taunted. “Now close your eyes and go to sleep before you shred what’s left of
our control.”

Safely enmeshed between their bodies, I fell asleep in
seconds flat.

The next morning, I woke to sunlight streaming through the
curtains and the sounds of Ian gently snoring in my ear. I couldn’t wipe the
silly grin off my face as I turned and glanced at the clock on the nightstand.
Only seven thirty, I had plenty of time to snuggle with my
Doms
before work. Burrowing deeper between their savage bodies, I closed my eyes.

“Going back to sleep?” James murmured in a deep, dreamy
voice.

When I peeked up at him, I noticed he hadn’t even opened his
eyes.

“Not if you have something else in mind.” I smirked, rolling
my thigh against his hard erection.

“Tonight. When you come back here after work.” Blindly,
James reached up and cupped my breast before kneading the flesh with his
fingers. My nipples instantly tightened and tingled.

“You’re not seriously planning on getting me all hot and
bothered then shoving me out the door to deal with death and dismemberment, are
you?”

“Pretty much,” he chuckled. Slitting one eye open, a broad
smile crawled across his lips. I stuck out my bottom lip and looked up at him
with the saddest expression I could muster. “Keep doing that thing with your
lip, and I’ll fill your mouth,
then
send you off to work wet and
wanting, girl.”

Like that’s a bad thing?

“Not without me helping out, too,” Ian grumbled, dropping
his hand to my pussy.

A quivering gasp filled my lungs as electricity pulsed,
zapping the remnants of sleep from my brain. Rolling my hips, I arched into
Ian’s hand.

“Isn’t it a national holiday or something today?” Ian
smirked. “I could have sworn we had the day off.”

“I wish,” James groaned. “We should declare today
National
Orgasm Day
. What do you think?”

“I vote yes,” Ian replied without hesitation.

I chuckled. “It sounds like a marvelous idea, but I played
hooky yesterday. If I called in sick, Cindy would make me come in so Doctor
Reynolds could give me a thorough exam. I doubt a diagnosis of extreme
horniness would be considered an excused absence.”

“Probably not.” Ian smirked, squeezing the top of my mound.
“So before things get too out of hand we should probably get up.”

Begrudgingly, we left the big bed, and all the sexual
promise it held. James and Ian tugged on their jeans—carefully tucking in and
buttoning up.

“We’ll make you some breakfast, little one. Hop in the
shower and get ready for work.”

“You’re making pancakes, right?” I laughed.

“Anchovy ones, just for you,” Ian replied. A twinkle of
mischief danced in his eyes.

“Don’t forget the bell peppers,” I quipped with a sassy
grin.

“And caviar,” James piped up with a grin.

Wrinkling my nose, I pressed a palm to my stomach. “I’ll
just have coffee, thanks.”

Ian arched a brow. “You’ll eat what we—”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know: whatever you want me to eat.”

“Oh, girl. You won’t be sleeping on your back tonight,” Ian
warned. “Your ass will be way too red.”

“Promise?” I giggled.

“We need to tackle the topic of topping from the bottom with
her,” Ian drawled, flashing James a disgruntled stare.

“I have a feeling that’s going to be a daily discussion.”
James grinned.

After they sauntered out of the room, I darted into the
shower. Eating breakfast was going to be a challenge sitting across from my two
shirtless
Doms
. I didn’t realize just how big a
challenge it would be until I’d dried my hair, dressed and sat down at the
table. James and Ian wouldn’t keep their hands or lips off me. I wasn’t sure if
they were attempting to thwart another onslaught of sub-drop, or wanted to
savor the few hours we had until the real world intruded and popped our
perfect, happy bubble. One thing for sure, I wasn’t going to complain. I could
easily grow accustomed to the way they pampered me, not to mention the
scrumptious view of their naked chests.

“We’re going to drive you to work today,” Ian announced as
he jabbed his fork into a huge chuck of pancakes. “We’ll be there to pick you
up after your shift.”

“Why? The kissing pervert isn’t still hanging out in the
parking garage anymore,” I stated, flashing James a crooked smile.

“Ryan,” he replied, wearing a look of concern.

Nodding, I nibbled my lip and realized I needed to tie up
the loose ends with my ex, quickly.

“Call him. Set up a meeting at Maurizio’s the next night
you’re off work,” Ian instructed.

I was grateful they’d waited to broach the topic of Ryan
until after I’d eaten. The food on my plate made my stomach pitch in a queasy
roll. Standing, I cleared my dishes off in the sink. James came up behind me
and pressed a kiss against my neck.

“We’re not trying to run your life, Liz. We’re worried about
your safety.”

“I know. It’s just… I’m not used to—”

“Having people care and want to protect you.” James exhaled
heavily. “It’s high time.”

The morning flew by, and too soon James pulled up in front
of the hospital. Their long, lingering, toe-curling kisses made me want to race
back to the house, toss off my scrubs, run down the hall and jump back into
bed. But obligation and dedication won out in the end as Ian helped me out of
the truck. Smiling and feeling more complete than ever before, I gave them a
little wave and watched them drive away. Starting life anew was a glorious
feeling, indeed.

When I clocked in, Cindy pulled me aside, drilling me with
questions about my bout with the ‘flu’. After convincing her it was nothing
more than a twenty-four hour bug, she reluctantly declared me fit for duty.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Yesterday after you left? That hunky
friend of Trevor’s came down to see you. And he brought another
hottie
with him.” Cindy smirked.

James and Ian.

Thinking about them filled me with giddy anticipation. I had
to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep from grinning.

“Holy crap, those two guys are a total waste of hotness,”
Cindy whistled.

I started to laugh. “They’re not gay.”

Her eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. “And just how do
you…. Oh, Liz. They’re the reason you looked like homegrown hell yesterday.
Aren’t they? You—”

“—Hush. I’m not saying.” I smirked.

“You don’t have to, you lucky little shit, it’s written all
over your face,” she hissed, then leaned in close. “I want details in living
color, surround sound, all of it. And don’t you dare leave one heart-racing
fact out. Now talk.”

“We don’t have time for this. We have patients to take care of,”
I said, waving her off with a sweep of my hand.

“Bitch,” she chided teasingly. “Which one?”

I bit my lips together, but my eyes betrayed me.

“Oh. My. God. Are you
f’ing
kidding me? Oh, Liz,” she squealed. Slapping a hand over her mouth when a
couple of other nurses looked our way, Cindy’s eyes grew wide.

“Be quiet,” I hissed.

“You did them both, didn’t you?”

“Still think I’m a prude?” I taunted, arching my brows.
“Don’t choke while eating the word you called me the other day, okay?”

“Touché. Well played,” she replied in awe. A huge grin
spread over her mouth. “You’re going to give me every blow-by-blow, or rather,
thrust-by-thrust detail. Don’t think for one second I’m going to let you weasel
your way out of it either. God, I can’t even imagine…oh hell, who am I kidding?
Fuck yes, I can imagine, but I still want to hear every juicy minute of it.”

Before I could tell her to forget it, Dr. Reynolds rushed
past. “EMS just pulled up. Time for the fun to start, ladies.”

“This conversation is
not
over,” Cindy warned,
wagging her finger in my face.

I couldn’t do anything but laugh and shake my head as we ran
to the trauma room. Adrenaline and the familiar, soothing sense of purpose
filled me as I focused on the patient before me. It took a while, but we
finally stabilized the middle-aged man who’d been in a nasty construction
accident and sent him up to surgery.

The life and death decisions in the ER helped me focus on my
job. But every quiet moment that worked its way into my busy evening, I
daydreamed about James and Ian. About their nurturing, protective, Dominant
ways. Counting my blessings, not only that they had chosen me but that I’d been
brave enough to take the plunge and enter into this unconventional
relationship.

My stomach gurgled, and I glanced at my watch. Grabbing my
purse, I called out to Cindy that I was leaving for my lunch break. She smiled
and waved before I pushed past the double doors and walked toward the elevator.
When the shiny metal doors opened, Ryan stepped off.

His hazel eyes reflected a look as cold as glaciers.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, blinking up at him.

He flashed me a sheepish grin and shrugged as warmth
returned in his stare. “I came to see if you’d have dinner with me so we could
talk.”

Fully aware that neither Ian nor James wanted me to have
this conversation with Ryan alone, I couldn’t very well pull out my cell phone
and invite them to the cafeteria. But I didn’t want to go against their wishes
either.