Sever (The Ever Series Book 3) (30 page)

W
hen I reach for him, Alex catches my hand in his, the electricity of his power crackling between us as he stares down at me.

“Wren, no.”

“No? Really? That night in Tierra del Fuego, you were more than a little interested in this particular human experience—and I wasn’t even seventeen!”

“And you’ve taught me the value of having a conscience and patience.”

Pulling my hand back, I begin to retreat as the worst kind of tears threaten to spill out. The ones caused by embarrassment and shame. A second later, I’m angry.

“Are you
serious
? Immortal or not, you
are
a guy! I thought you were supposed to be irrational and impatient. Am I
that
easy to resist right before the world might end?”

Now I really am crying.

“Easy to resist?” he laughs without a trace of humor. “If only you knew how far that was from the truth.”

Alex reaches out and touches my cheek, and when I try to twist away, his other hand grips my shoulder, making it impossible to move. He smiles, but there’s something dangerous behind it.

“Of course,” he mutters. “When, for the first time in my existence, I, of all creatures, attempt to be rational and patient, you decide to push that patience past its breaking point.”

I smile crookedly.

“Does that mean you can be irrational for one night? A birthday present to me on the longest birthday of my life, my first adult birthday …”
and maybe my last
.

He stares down at me silently for several seconds. It’s enough time for me to feel obscenely stupid. I’m begging—literally begging—him to be my first, and I can practically hear crickets. I shake my head and look away.

“Never mind,” I mumble.

Alex touches my chin, but I can’t look at him. How can I explain that I’m afraid? Afraid that the worst will happen, and I’ll end up dead. Or worse—I’ll end up possessed. When he takes my face between his hands, I want to fight him, but my strength is gone. He gently turns me until I’m forced to look at him. I try to stop crying like an idiot, but I can’t. The worst part is he looks physically pained watching me have my little breakdown.

“I don’t want you to do something you will regret,” he says softly.

“That’s not what I’ll regret. I’ll regret everything I didn’t get to do.”

I shake my head. I’ve made mistakes at every step, and there are so many things I haven’t dared to say out loud, but if I don’t say something now, then I risk him never knowing how I truly feel. Because every chance I’ve gotten, I’ve told Alex that he’s a regret, a mistake, something I wish I could erase.

“I know it may not seem like it—because I’m confused and messed up—but I don’t regret falling in love with you. I will always love you …”

Just like I will always love Ever, even as I betray him.

I step back toward the pool of water behind me, knowing that I’m running out of room. Bringing my hand up, I swipe at my face. Then Alex grabs my arm, and I stop breathing.

“Wren, you’ve given me far too much credit.”

“For what?” I hiccup.

“For possessing the self control necessary to resist you another time.”

His hands come up to cup my face.

“Say it again, Wren. Please,” he whispers.

I’ve wished so many times that I
didn’t
love Alex. Now I don’t have the time for regret.

“I love you.”

Before I can take another breath, my feet are swept out from under me. In less than a second, we’re in the house, in a bedroom with candles flickering from every corner. Staring up at Alex, I feel a jolt of realization and know that I’ve made the right decision. I think back to that moment more than a year ago. A small moment in the parking lot at school right after Alex drove me to school in that insane red Ferrari. Even then I knew—I
knew
—that part of me belonged to him.

We are the true outsiders
.

Setting me down, Alex stares into my eyes until I’m dizzy. I take a quick breath and turn to look around the room, which is dominated by a black four-poster bed, its black and gold bedding nearly glowing in the light of the fireplace. Turning, I see another enormous window. Walking toward it, I look out onto an unending valley of snow. The white has turned a glowing purple under the full moon.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Nothing in this world is as beautiful as you are,” Alex whispers from behind me.

I shiver as his hands gather up my hair as his lips skim the side of my neck.

“And having you in my arms now is more than I could have wished for,” he breathes.

He turns me in his arms until I’m looking up at him.

“I want to show you something,” he says.

He takes my face in his hands as his eyes turn black. Suddenly I
see
the two of us. I see him carrying me toward the bed. I see Alex set me down at the foot of the bed and feel his fingers at the zipper of my dress. I feel him drawing me closer. Then, for just a second, I can
feel
Alex’s desperation and urgency. His feelings are so strong that they knock the air from my lungs.

No
!

My entire body winces, the enraged growl in my head like a sonic boom, startling me back to reality. Shivering, I take a shaky step away from Alex, and his eyes narrow as he steps toward me.

“I may have underestimated how powerful his connection to you is.”

The blood drains from my face. For a second, I thought the voice in my head was my conscience reminding me again that each choice I make—from now until Victor is defeated or I’m dead—is going to hurt the ones I love. But it wasn’t my conscience speaking. It was
Ever
.

Right now I know that I’m supposed to make the virtuous choice. Or the smart choice. Or the strong choice. The right choice. And that’s the problem. The right choice for
me
isn’t going to be something anyone else can understand.

The problem is that I don’t even know what’s right for me anymore.

I say his name in my head, a whisper, a plea for forgiveness, and suddenly a pair of strong arms wraps around my waist from behind. The last thing I see before everything goes black is Alex’s face—his eyes coal black with anger. When the arms release me, I spin around to face Ever, shaking when I see where we are. Ever’s frozen version of our island in the Maldives. Or more accurately, my own personal purgatory. The place where my guilt seems to eat me alive. I look up at him, willing him to understand why I didn’t choose him.

“Ever, don’t. Please,” I beg. “I’m not a chess piece for you immortals to move around the board. I have to make my own decisions … even if they’re the wrong ones.”

“And I accept that I have become the same as Alex, driven solely by my own greed.” Ever says. “But loving you has made me irrational, and if my choice is to exist for an eternity without you or to have you and see this world burn—”

I shake my head.

“No. You can’t betray who you are because of me. I won’t let you. Do you understand that? You deserve peace—”

“But I
want
you,” he growls, taking a step toward me. “I
need
you.”

I sink to the sand. Should I even try to lie? Tell him that I
don’t
want him? I convinced myself that I couldn’t spend my last night with Ever because I can’t give him what he wants—forever. But right now is my only chance to get what
I
what. Because whether I die trying to stop Victor from destroying this world or I escape with Alex to another dimension, this is my last chance to be with Ever. One night to keep with me forever.

“I love you,” I whisper. “But I don’t deserve you.”

“You’re right. You deserve better than I am.”

He lifts me easily, bending to touch his lips to mine as he carries me inside. When he sets me down in front of the bed, I shiver as his hand skims across the thin material of my dress. His lips touch my shoulder, and the dress falls silently to the floor.

“My love,” Ever whispers raggedly.

His lips graze mine again, causing my skin to warm under his touch. He watches my face as his hands slide up my sides. Stepping back, I reach to trace his jaw with my fingers before sliding my hands down to his neck to the buttons of his shirt. My fingers shake as they unfasten each button. Reaching up to pull the shirt from his shoulders, I expose the golden-bronzed skin of his chest. As my hands skate across his skin, his muscles ripple beneath my touch. Taking a deep breath, I look up into his eyes. His expression is serious, his eyes feverish and glowing with so much desire that it almost scares me.

Looking at him, I realize he
is
a Greek god come to life, and I am a mere mortal he has visited.
And I get one night
before I give everything up.
I’m so hypnotized by his beauty that it takes several seconds before I notice that the air around us is icy despite being in the tropics. I shiver as his hands come up, tracing my face, my neck, my sides, causing my skin to warm instantly beneath his caress. When I reach to touch his cheek, he grabs my hand gently in his and kisses my palm before placing my hand on the impossible heat of his bare chest.

I close my eyes and gulp for air—frozen air that can’t seem to cool me down. When I open my eyes again, I swallow as he reaches up and grazes my cheek with the back of his hand, causing my skin to warm even more.

“You are more beautiful than I could have imagined,” he says in a way that makes my pulse jump.

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing.”

He smiles, but his eyes are serious. He takes my hand and kisses the back of it before bending to kiss me. As his lips part mine, his hands come up to caress my skin. Whimpering at the sensation, I feel my knees buckle. With a low growl, Ever scoops me up and gently places me at the center of the bed.

“Having your love was more than I could have asked for until this moment,” he says softly. “Now I want more. I
need
more. I’ve waited so long for you, Wren.”

Closing my eyes, I see myself walking nervously toward Ever’s table in the cafeteria at school my very first day. I see myself in bed sleeping fitfully. I see myself staring up at him in the hills above Portland moments before our first kiss. And finally I see myself in
this
moment—closer to him than I’ve ever been.

“Forever,” he whispers as he stares down at me.

W
hen you wake up from a bad dream wondering for a few tense seconds if you’re still dreaming, it’s bad. What’s even worse is the moment when you wake up from the most epically wonderful dream and realize it was just a dream.

Opening my eyes in the darkness, I freeze when I realize I’ve been sleeping with my arm draped across Ever.
Holy crapjacks! I never escaped the oubliette!
I wait silently for Ever to do something strange—like breathe or sneeze. Instead, he glances down at me, his preternaturally green eyes glowing with amusement.

Exhaling shakily, I prop my arms on his chest and study his perfect face, framed by honey-gold hair lit by moonlight. Frowning, I focus on the heat of Ever’s chest, and when he brushes my cheek with his fingers, I look down and study my pale hand against his bronzed, glowing skin.

“Why didn’t you change me?” I ask carefully. “You
could
have, couldn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because you were right when you said you aren’t a chess piece. It has to be your decision, Wren. Your mind is very powerful, but delicate at the same time. If you resisted the change, I could have … hurt you. Possibly destroyed your mind altogether. And … I love you, more than anything in this world. I would never do anything against your will.”

I nod, smiling crookedly as my thoughts drift. To his touch. The sound of his voice—the love, the barely contained urgency. To the magnificence of his body, the lower half of which is currently covered by a thin sheet. A shudder runs through him as I bend my head to kiss his chest.

“Did you …” I start to ask. “I mean—was it …”

I trail off, because I can’t come up with a good word for what it felt like or what it meant to me.
Good
doesn’t cover it.
Great
doesn’t, either.
Amazing
is closer, but still lacking.

“Was being with you the most enjoyable experience of my existence? Yes. The most meaningful? Yes. The most challenging? Yes—”

“Whoa, hold on. The most
challenging
? Being with me is
challenging
?”

I’m caught between laughing hysterically and feeling utterly insulted before Ever touches my cheek.

“What happens when you’re aroused, mentally or physically?” he asks.

I blush.

“Is that a rhetorical question?”

His fingers begin trailing down my side.

“Okay! It-it’s hard to think straight,” I stammer.

His touch disappears, and his expression becomes serious.

“Now imagine you’re holding a blade to my neck in the midst of such distraction.”

Reminded of Victor stabbing Ever through the chest, I shake my head to get rid of the image.

“I wouldn’t …”

“But
I
did,” Ever says, looking into my eyes—making sure I absorb the truth. “If I had let my control slip any more than I had, I could have killed you, as I nearly did that day in Gideon’s classroom.”

I take a shuddering breath.

“I’ve taken a lot of risks—and I will again, I’m sure …”

I stop as Ever’s eyes darken with disapproval, probably at the certainty of my statement.

“
But
,” I continue, “if being with you is counted among the risks I’ve taken, then it was worth it.”

My smile fades as reality resurfaces. I’ve had my night with Ever. Now it’s time to give him up. It’s time to pay the price for every choice I’ve made.

“We need to go back.”

My voice is barely a whisper, because I don’t
want
to give this up. I don’t want to give up Ever.

“Why?” he asks evenly.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I laugh. “Maybe to avert the end of the world?”

“Time can’t touch us here, Wren. We could stay.”

“What? Forever?” I laugh again.

When he doesn’t smile, I sit up at stare at him in the moonlight.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I meant what I said. I would gladly let this world burn if it meant being with you.”

Before I can move, I’m on my back with him floating over me. His fingers begin to trace my skin until my breathing is uneven.

“We … can’t,” I whisper.

“Then let me enjoy these last few moments with you before we return to reality.”

His mouth drops to mine, and rational thought begins to fade. If these are going to be my last experiences before giving myself up, then it’s more than I ever imagined I would have. And Ever is more than I could have dreamt of.

***

Opening my eyes, I sit up and look at the empty bed. The room has returned to a tropical temperature, and there’s a thin white dress draped across the edge of the bed. I sigh. The outfit is a little on the virginal side, and maybe Ever was going for irony—I don’t know.

Reaching for the dress, I find a bra and panties to go with it. As soon as I’m dressed, I walk across the wooden floor, stopping at the open entrance. Ever is at the edge of the water under the midnight sky, staring out at this place on the edge of human reality. I know he’ll never let me go. And part of me wants to stay in this eternal midnight with him. Breathing in, I raise my mental wall.

“Audra,” I whisper.

Ever turns the moment I say her name, and I jump when Audra appears in front of me, her cerulean eyes as guilty as mine. She grips my hand, and suddenly I’m retching and coughing in the bitter cold before she drags me into the shelter. The door slams shut behind us, and I drop to the floor as soon as I reach the bottom of the stairs.

“Trouble deciding between them?” Audra asks flatly.

I shrug. I’m not going to argue with her about Alex. In my mind, she and I are even, because one way or another, she’s getting this world back thanks to me. My internal conflict isn’t her business. And I’m not going to tell her about the deal I made with Alex. After I’m gone and they have this world back, it will be better that they all think I’m dead.

“Are you ready, then?” she asks.

I nod and push myself up off the floor.

“After I’m gone, promise you’ll take care of everyone. Ever, too. Make sure he’s … happy.”

She laughs grimly.

“
That
I can’t promise you.”

Reaching up in a familiar motion, I gather up my hair and wind it into a ponytail, smiling briefly when Audra hands me a black elastic band. As I start walking back toward the reinforced door, Audra stops me.

“Wren, he may be waiting on the other side of the door. Are you prepared for that?”

She means Ever, of course, not Victor. I think of the power I harnessed to keep Ever and Alex from stopping me—the blast of electricity that sent Ever flying and the fireball of heat that blew Alex off his feet.

“Yes.”

I follow her toward the stairs, stopping short when she looks back at me.

“Was it worth it?” she asks with her typical immortal impassiveness.

She means my one night before betraying Ever and leaving this life.

“Yes,” I whisper again.

She takes my hand and presses the button. The next thing I know, we’re standing in the freezing cold again, me in nothing but a flimsy, above-the-knee white dress. When I look up, Ever is about ten feet away, just like Audra said he would be.

“What have I done, sister, to warrant your betrayal?” he asks with deadly calm as he stares at Audra.

I step out from behind her.

“It wasn’t her, Ever. It was
me
. This is my choice.”

It’s the only choice I can make. Suddenly he’s right in front of us. When he reaches toward Audra, I channel my memories of her force field and throw my arms up, imagining her invisible wall around us. Ever stops, blocked—by me. Audra turns and stares at me, her eyes wide as she grabs my arm. The next thing I know, we’re standing in a darkened living room.

“How did you do that?” she demands.

“Do
what
?” I ask, looking around for signs of where we are.

“You used
my
power to stop Ever. How?”

“I don’t know. I just imagined your power and pushed it outward …”

I hear someone on the stairs, and Audra suddenly disappears.

“
Wren
?”

I look and see Matt wearing a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a UCLA T-shirt.

“Hey, Matt,” I smile crookedly. “We missed you at prom.”

He walks down the stairs, staring at me.

“Yeah …”

In his mind, I see a flash of a phone call—his date bailing on him at the last second. I’m about to tell him that he should have just come along with the rest of us. Then I remember how prom ended: with Victor dangling my mom and Matt in front of me. Matt
was
at prom; he just doesn’t remember it.

“You didn’t miss much,” I say lightly. “I left early.”

His eyes narrow as he studies me.

“Dude! You totally had sex tonight!”

“Matt!” I hiss. “
Shut up
! You’ll wake up your parents!”

Audra walks out of the dark living room.

“I’m sorry to cut this short, but …”

I turn to Matt, whose expression just went from confused to shocked.

“So, you wanna do me a huge favor?” I ask him.

“Right now?”

“Right now,” I nod.

When Audra reaches out for his hand, he smiles sheepishly.

“This should be interesting,” he mumbles.

“Try mind blowing,” I correct.

I sit up, instantly shocked into awareness by the blaring music and flashing lights. Matt is slumped next to me in a booth, and Audra is sitting across the table from us.

“Audra!”

She looks over at me.

“Did you bring us to a rave?”

“We’re waiting for Chasen.”

Such a typical Audra answer. I shake my head and look around. We’re in a huge club, and judging from the way everyone is dressed—like Audra—we’re in New York or Paris. Turning toward Matt, I shake him as Audra slides two bottles of a bright green energy drink in our direction.

“Matt! Are you all right?”

Blinking, he turns to look at me, his eyes widening.

“Holy …
holy
—I think I’m gonna throw up.”

I open a bottle and hand it to him. He starts chugging the drink as Chasen suddenly appears on the bench seat next to Audra. Matt sets down the bottle, his mouth agape.

“Hey, Wren,” Chasen says with a wink. “In trouble again?”

Chasen turns to Audra, the smile dropping from his face.

“I don’t like this,” he says seriously.

“No one does. But there’s no other way. Do you think I want him to hate me forever?”

She’s talking about Ever, of course. Chasen looks over at me again.

“Wren? This is your choice?”

“You want a Victor-free world, don’t you?”

“I’d rather you be around,” he answers seriously.

I feel Matt staring at me, but I ignore him as I sip my drink.

“Besides,” Chasen says with a trace of his old humor. “Who am I going to pick on when you’re gone? No offense to my lady love or my brother, but they can be a bit too—”

“Judgmental? Serious? Grim? Dour?” I offer, smiling.

“All of the above,” he says with another look at Audra.

“You know what to do, then?” Audra asks Chasen, completely ignoring our conversation.

Chasen nods, and I reach my hand across the table, remembering the first day we met in the cafeteria at Springview—the day Ever was afraid that Chasen might kill me. Chasen takes my hand in his enormous one.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “Both of you. Tell Alistair and Persephone the same. I wish I could see them again.”

As Chasen gives my hand the slightest of squeezes, I think about the fact that he could easily break every bone in my hand without even trying.

“Yo! Wren! What … the …
hell
?” Matt demands.

I turn to face him.

“Here’s the short version: Ever, Audra, and Chasen are immortals from another dimension, and the world is ending.”

“Is that all?” he asks.

I shrug.

“Yeah, pretty much. Oh, wait. And I was hoping we could sacrifice you to a dragon to save the world.” I smile. “I’m just kidding about that last part.”

I look down. I’m the one who’s getting sacrificed to the dragon. Turning back to Audra, I take a deep breath.

“I think we’re all set.”