Sever (The Ever Series Book 3) (27 page)

“So much for giving us a head start,” he says. “I’ve officially run out of ideas—or at least ones you’ll like.”

Ice runs through my veins.

“We ran before, and I only ended up losing you. I can’t lose both of you. Alex, just let them take me. I’ll make a deal with Victor …”
before I lose anyone else
.

“Never,” he hisses as four figures appear around us and begin closing in.

“Clever, clever, my brother,” the silver-haired horseman says as he approaches us. “Though, why you insist upon clinging to this insignificant human puzzles me. Once we have her, there will be no end to what could be yours. This world is ripe for our taking.”

Alex’s top lip curls.

“Then take it. I have all I want.”

He grabs me, and everything spins until I black out. When I open my eyes again, I’m still pressed against Alex. Pulling away from him, I turn and see a very nicely appointed kitchen that looks like it’s never been used. Alex points across the room, and my eyes shift to an enormous stone fireplace. Shivering, I start moving as he hands me a large glass of liquid, which I drain immediately. At the fireplace, I sink down on a fluffy white rug. I look anxiously at Alex, who has perched on the edge of a glass table.

“Is what you said true? About Ever? Can I bring him back?”

He studies me carefully and sighs.

“If what Victor said was true—that you brought mortality to our dimension when you crossed over, then there might be a way to reverse the effect.”

Feeling a stab of pain, I shake my head.

“I had no idea that coming after you would help Victor …”

It’s not that I regret saving Alex. I would have done it no matter what—I didn’t have any other choice. But it hurts knowing that by saving Alex, I may have caused Ever’s destruction.

“No one knew what would happen,” he says gently. “A mortal human has never crossed the divide. Had Ever and the others known the result, I don’t believe you would be alive now.”

I raise my hands, fighting off the idea.

“That’s not true!”

Suddenly Alex is kneeling in front of me, gripping both my hands in his before I’ve even seen him move.

“Wren, I have no doubt that Ever loves you beyond reason. But some small fragment of him always would have been beholden to what he believed was his duty. Trust me when I tell you: he would have sacrificed you to prevent Victor from taking this world.”

I shake my head, tears spilling down my cheeks.

“No! He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t.”

Alex grimaces like he can feel my pain.

“I think it would have destroyed any remaining humanity he had left, but he would have done what he believed he had to do. Even
he
may not have thought himself capable of such an act until forced to make the choice.”

I feel a piece of me wilt. Alex could be right about Ever. Ever, who was at war for his entire existence. If it had come down to choosing between me and ending an eternity of fighting, could I have blamed him if he chose to end it?

“Enough,” I whisper without emotion. “Just tell me how to bring him back, and I’ll do it. Anything.”

“You won’t like it.”

“I … don’t … care. I would die for him.”

I stare at Alex for several seconds. When he doesn’t offer an answer, my stomach flips restlessly and I look away. A few minutes ago, I was in Beijing. Before that, I was inches from hitting the pavement in front of a hotel in Portland. Now … I’m drifting in a sea of regret and confusion, swinging wildly between despair and hopefulness.

Standing up, I walk toward a glass wall across the room. When I reach it, I stop and stare. There’s an enormous cavern surrounding a beautiful pool of crystal clear blue water the same color as Alex’s eyes. Slowly I turn and walk back to face Alex. To keep myself sane, I rack my brain for the most innocuous question I can think of. I need to focus on something that doesn’t make me want to crumble and die, even if it’s only for just a few seconds.

“Where are we?”

Alex stands up and scrubs a hand over his face in such a human gesture that I nearly laugh. Suddenly I realize that I can’t read his thoughts … at all. Nothing. Which means he’s actively blocking me. And his expression is serious, so serious that it frightens me all over again. So much for coming up with a harmless question.

“We are … where I had hoped to bring you if you had said yes,” he finishes.

Suddenly I can’t move. I can’t even blink. He means … if I had said yes to his proposal.

I promise you aren’t dreaming, Wren. I am humbly asking you to choose me.

He had proposed—and I never answered him. Instead, I had kissed him.

“Call it a brief lapse of optimism on my part,” he continues dryly. “Clearly I hadn’t anticipated Victor finding a means to destroying our kind—or you throwing yourself from a hotel balcony before the night was over.”

A sound finally escapes my lips—a cross between a sob and hiccup—as I realize how badly I betrayed Ever.

“Tell me how I can bring Ever back. I’ll do anything. I’ll make a deal with Victor.  My life in exchange for everyone else’s.”

Alex’s eyes blaze.

“And I told you—I would go back to hell before I see that happen.”

Suddenly he’s in front of me, gripping my arms. Adrenaline pumps through my veins, giving me the strength to pull away from him. Stumbling toward the glass wall, I feel anger boiling up inside me as my vision blurs and tears of frustration sting my eyes.

“So, you’re saying that I should just forget Ever and everyone I else love to save my own butt and stay here with you?” I demand. “Are you insane?”

Biting down on my lip as hard as I can, I stare out at the pool of blue water, watching steam rise from its glassy surface.

“No. I am asking you to be mine for one night,” he whispers from just behind me.

When his lips touch my bare shoulder, I shiver at the spark of electricity and close my eyes. Shaking my head, I spin around.

“Don’t,” I growl.

I stare up at him defiantly, but my stomach clenches at the look in his eyes.

“I love you, Wren Sullivan. You’ve been the only thing that’s right in my existence, and if I can’t have you forever … then one night is still more than I could have asked for.”

26: Feel Me

I
stare up at him speechlessly, studying his perfect features—his burning blue eyes and copper hair lit by the fire. His suit jacket is gone, his tie is loosened, and the first few buttons on his shirt are undone. He’s beautiful; I can’t deny that.

He is fire and ice to Ever’s gold and lush green.

I close my eyes, trying to clear my thoughts. But the first thing that comes to mind is Ever. Less than twenty-four hours ago, I told him I would marry him. Then I betrayed him, and now he’s gone. The strangeness of this sucks the air right out of my lungs. In my mind, I stepped through the mirror a lifetime ago to save Alex, but in reality—the reality that I have to live with—it’s been less than a day.

I saved Alex, and I simultaneously caused Ever’s destruction.

Anger burns through my blood when I open my eyes again. I need to feel angry. I’ve lost Ever, and it’s my fault. Even worse, I know that I’ve lost my grip on everything, even myself.

“There are so many things wrong with this,” I snap. “I don’t even know where to start. Alex, I said
yes
to Ever … and then I betrayed him by going after you. Now he’s gone, and I’m standing here—I don’t even know where
here
is—with you talking about
sex
?

“That is what you were referring to, right? Sex?” I continue, feeling unhinged. “Do you understand that the lives of almost everyone I care about are under Victor’s control? Do you have
any
idea how freakishly absurd this is? Every second that we’re here, I risk losing someone else I love. I have no other options—I
have
to give myself up. Do you understand me?”

He smiles.

“You are exquisite when you’re angry.”

“I
know
you didn’t just say that.”

He reaches out before I have time to pull away and brushes my lower lip with his thumb, sending a crackle of electricity through my bloodstream. My eyes search his face, and I start to wonder if Alex is crazy, truly crazy. Thinking of the torture he must have endured under Irisa’s imprisonment, I wonder if she really did break him.

“I’m not insane, Wren, and for as long as we are here, you put no one at risk. In fact, being here may be the only chance you have to resurrect Ever.”

“You are
so
not sounding less crazy.”

He gestures around.

“As long as we are here, we remain outside of time, immune to it. All we have is the present. Together.”

We are outside of human reality at the moment
.

I shiver. I can nearly hear Ever saying the words.

“Alex, I fell in love you last year, but I love Ever. I loved him first, and I’ve never stopped loving him. I never will …”
even if he’s gone forever
.

Tears start spilling from the corners of my eyes at the thought of never seeing him again.

“I’m not asking you to,” Alex says gently.

I close my eyes, wishing I could force the world to stop spinning further and further out of my control.

“I am asking you to choose me,” he says in a quiet voice. “Make a willing choice to be with me if only for a few moments.”

His fingers come up and trail across my collarbone, causing heat and electricity to spread outward from his touch. I jerk away from him, angry with my body for responding.

“Don’t. I can’t think when you touch me.”

The bright blue of his eyes darkens.

“I don’t want you to think, Wren. You’re always thinking, weighing, deciding, punishing yourself—for wrongs others have committed. For once, I only want you to feel.”

He steps toward me, his eyes searching mine.

“Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t want to feel my touch …” he says softly, touching his lips to the side of my neck.

His kiss trails to my shoulder, and I shudder as his hands free my hair from the braid. Raising my hand to his chest, I force my eyes open and try to shake off the sensations his touch is causing.

“
Stop
!”

I pull back, breathing hard as I stare up at him.

“Tell me—
right now
—if what you said was true. Is there really a way to save Ever?”

He nods.

“Yes. I believe the closer you are to immortality, the less power the substance Victor has mined will have over Ever. When you crossed the divide, your mortality must have saturated this material. If so, you are linked to it. I do not believe Victor has the ability to destroy us, though Ever’s contact with this altered material may have forced him into a permanent state of inertia similar to what a coma is for humans. If you become more like us, I think it will reverse the damage done to Ever’s physical being.”

My eyes widen.

“Why didn’t you say that before?” I gasp. “What do I have to do?”

He lifts my hand, and it begins to crackle with electricity. In an instant, my mind jumps to the conversation with Ever a day—or forever—ago. Ever said that if we weren’t careful, then I could end up like him. Flinching, I glance up at Alex in disbelief.

“Is
that
why you wanted to
have one night
with me? Because I’ll become like you?”

“I don’t want
one night
with you, Wren. I want forever. But if I can have only one night, then it’s still more than I could have asked for, and I would gladly submit myself to an eternity of pain.”

I shake my head.

“Alex, don’t. Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s the truth,” he says, gently touching my cheek.

“
That’s
my only choice, then?” I ask with barely any volume. “To stop being human?”

I realize I was willing to jump off a building when I thought Ever was gone, but the thought of betraying him
and
losing my humanity—not to mention my virginity? That’s … an impossible decision.

“I said
closer
to immortality,” Alex says, taking my hand in his.

Electricity sizzles between us as he lifts my hand to his lips, causing my skin to glow brighter.

“Ever must have told you. Becoming like us
would
be a risk if
I
were to lose control, but that isn’t what I’m seeking.” He bends down, his lips brushing my ear. “I only need to bring you close enough to weaken the material’s power over Ever. To do that, I need your mind to open to me.”

When he pulls back, I stare up at him, breathless, shivering, and unable to move. He’s talking about something I have no experience with.

“Are you … I mean, have you ever had—” I sputter before my voice fails me.

“Sex, you mean?” he says dryly, finishing my unspoken question.

No matter what the answer is, I know his knowledge of sex is eons beyond mine—even if it’s just because he’s existed for eons longer than I’ve been alive.

“Yes, I have,” he says before I can retract my question.

I swallow. Of course he has. As I stare at him, his eyes glow brighter.

“But how?” I ask, too curious to be embarrassed by my question. “Did you turn someone into an immortal … like Persephone?”

My stomach drops as I realize Alistair and Persephone must have been watching my mom when Victor took her—does that mean they suffered the same fate as Ever? Could things get any worse?

“Only someone like you can withstand the transition,” Alex says evenly. “There is no impact on normal humans; their minds do not have the same capacity.”

I nod, feeling shaky and out of my depth. I want to wake up from this nightmare of going from terrible choices to impossible ones.

“Wren, in some ways I am more inexperienced than you are.”

This
makes me laugh.

“Uh, yeah. That’s a little tough to imagine.”

He smiles and nods.

“You’re right. Physically, I am more than familiar with most human experiences. Yet I can only imagine that, like most other experiences, one in particular would be incalculably more pleasurable with someone who consumes me at every level. However, I would never put my own gratification above your happiness, and if I can resurrect my old enemy, it would end your suffering. I ask for only one thing if we do succeed in bringing Ever back.”

I wince.

“What?”

“Your decision.”

My decision. Meaning he expects me to make the single most unbearable choice. A decision that will tear me in two. But I nod—because I have to choose. I’ll choose one of them, and another piece of me will die.

“Do you trust me?” he asks.

I laugh miserably as I remember asking him the same thing—right before jumping from the castle wall in his world.

“Considering you just saved me from hitting the pavement, you could say I trust you with my life.”

He reaches out for my hand.

“May I?”

I nod, still confused as I hold out my hand.

“I’m sorry for this,” he whispers.

Before I can react, he draws his blade and reaches out lightning fast—cutting my arm. Staring down at the thin red line across my skin, all I can think of is the waking nightmare from Alex’s dimension in which I reached out and cut Ever’s arm
. Only it wasn’t Ever.

“What the
hell
, Alex?”

He slices the blade across his own hand, which makes his skin glow, not bleed. Then he presses his hand to my arm before his wound disappears. Pulling away, I glare at him.

“If you were human,” I growl, “I’d be so worried about blood-borne pathogens from Health Studies.”

“Now you and I are linked, and this blade is infused with mortal blood.”

“Which accomplishes
what
exactly?” I ask, rubbing my arm.

“Victor’s downfall, of course.”

“Blood on the blade is supposed to end Victor’s reign? Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” I mutter sarcastically.

“Not just blood.
Your
blood.”

“Oh, good. Magic blood.”

“Trust me,” he smiles.

“Okay, you’ve said that
way
too many times—and in the movies, the person who keeps saying
trust me
is the one you shouldn’t trust. Every time.”

He laughs.

“True.”

But right now he’s the only person I can trust.

“Now for the part of this that I’m going to enjoy,” he says.

Before I can stop him, Alex kisses me again. A sharp wave of pleasure—combined with guilt—floods me as his tongue skims the inside of my top lip. I grip the front of his shirt as his fingers trace lightly across my hip. Lowering me onto the plush white rug in front of the fire, Alex seems to float above me without a trace of exertion, the blue of his eyes burning brightly in the firelight as he watches me. In this moment I realize that no matter how hard I try to escape the truth, I can’t.

I love Alex. I love Ever. It is my curse, and there is no magical solution. The moment I make a decision, it will break me.

Shivering, I force myself to imagine that this is the last time I will see Alex—that these are my last moments with him. Suddenly desperation courses through me. I’m not ready to lose either of them, but I’ve already lost Ever, and unless Alex is right and there is a way to bring Ever back, then I’ve already lost everything. Closing my eyes, I remember the moment before I stepped through the mirror—the hope I felt as I stepped into the blackness.

This is not the end. It can’t be.

I open my eyes, and Alex watches me silently as I touch his brows, his cheekbones, his lips, his jaw. The blue of his eyes flashes and then darkens as I reach up and touch his chest. When my hand skims the bare skin at his collar, electricity surges between us. Without warning, he grasps me around the waist, and a second later I’m in his lap on the couch. I shiver as his hands drop to my hips and he pulls me closer. My hands slip into his hair as I lean forward to kiss the edge of his jaw.

“Wren …” he whispers.

His hands tighten around me, and my eyes close as his lips brush mine. His touch is different this time, his hands pulling me toward him until I gasp for air. When his teeth sink into my lower lip, I whimper at the spike of desire that shudders through me. Then he kisses me in a way that makes my head spin, and I see all kinds of images flashing through my mind. I see the night in Tierra del Fuego; I see myself on the sidewalk a few blocks from my house as I approach him; I see myself staring up at him the night of the dance in Laguna Niguel.

Electricity is streaming through me as Alex suddenly pulls me from his lap, leaving me on the sofa by myself in an instant. My eyes search the darkened room, and finally I see him at the far end, watching me. I take a ragged breath.