Sever (The Ever Series Book 3) (28 page)

“Forgive me,” he says with an edge to his voice. “This experiment has tested the limits of my restraint.”

My heart hammers in my chest as I watch him. When I finally understand what I’m seeing, it scares me. His muscles are tense, his jaw is clenched, and for the first time, Alex looks forced to his limits—his normally bright blue eyes dark, nearly black with hunger.

I
’m sitting with my legs crossed on the couch facing Alex, my lips still puffy and my entire body humming with awareness. Awareness of what we just did. Looking down, I blink at the sight of the ring on my left hand. The gleaming white rose has turned a soft, glowing pink. But the rose isn’t the only thing glowing. My hands, my arms—and probably the rest of me—are glowing even more than before.

“Am I still human?”

“Yes,” Alex smiles. “You remain human, and I remain heroically unfulfilled.”

Reaching out, he touches the inside of my wrist, and I jerk back. I’m about to make a smart remark when I remember why I let things get so out of control. Because it might save Ever.

“How do we know if it worked?” I whisper.

Closing my eyes, I see the gleaming golden blade pierce Ever’s chest.

“We’ll know soon enough if—”

Before Alex can finish, he’s hurled backward full force into the window across the room. I scream, and by the time my eyes refocus, Ever is standing between us. I watch as Alex rises from the floor like he didn’t just suffer a high-speed impact into solid—and apparently unbreakable—glass.

“Oh my god,” I whisper.

Rising to my knees on the couch, I stare at Ever like he’s a ghost.

“You have your answer now,” Alex says wryly. “It worked.”

He looks to Ever and smiles.

“You’re welcome.”

Ever starts walking toward Alex, then stops, turning to face me. Tears of relief pour down my cheeks. I want to run to him and wrap my arms around him, but it’s like I’m frozen.

When I’m with one of them, everything makes sense. But now that they’re both here in front of me, nothing makes sense. Looking from Ever to Alex, I force myself to remember that
I
made my choices. I gave up my right to want anything from Ever. I chose to go after Alex. I chose to kiss him. And now, after how far I just went with him, even if it was to bring Ever back—

“
Enough
!” Ever snarls at me.

I frown in confusion before reality hits me. I clap a hand over my mouth. If Ever can read my thoughts again, then that means he just saw my memory of—oh
no
. No, no, no,
no
. Before I can move or say anything, he’s in front of me with his hands on my shoulders, his eyes burning with a combination of rage and hunger that terrifies me. Without thinking, I let the fear flow through me into my fingertips, watching in horror as Ever is blown several feet back by a jolt of electricity. I stare blankly at him until Alex starts laughing.

“Underestimate her at your peril, my friend,” Alex says in a mocking tone.

Suddenly Ever is in front of me again, his arms wrapping around me. Then everything spins, familiar flashes of color swirling all around me. It’s like I’m in one of Ever’s paintings—only the colors are more vivid than the paint could capture. When everything stops spinning, I look around and flinch. Even in the darkness, I know exactly where I am. Pain swells in my chest. There’s soft music playing—a slow song, one from my favorite playlist. Ever used it at the party last year. Spinning around in the dark room, I see Ever standing in the open doorway. Behind him, the calm water of the Indian Ocean is shining in the moonlight, providing the only light. I was here twenty-four hours ago, but in my heart, it was several lifetimes ago.

“Why did you bring me here?” I gasp.

“Because tonight was supposed to be ours, Wren.”

When he starts walking toward me, candles begin lighting throughout the room. I hold up my hand, and he stops.

“Don’t. Ever, it’s over.
We’re
over. I made mistakes—I accept that. And I don’t expect you to understand or forgive me. I am sorry, though. So sorry. For so many things. I wish I could go back.” I shake my head. “But if I fixed one thing, then another would break.”

Like taking back what I did with Alex? It’s better to live with the regret than to lose Ever. It’s better that he hates me. My chest squeezes at the thought, and I can’t help the tears from running down my cheeks again. Ever’s green eyes scorch me until I’m forced to turn away.

The pain in my chest is too much. I want to scream, I want to punish myself … I want to disappear, melt, cease to exist. Because all my existence seems to do is hurt the people I love the most.

“If you cease to exist, then so do I,” he says softly from behind me.

“Ever,
please
. Hate me,” I gasp. “
Tell
me you hate me.”

“Never,” he whispers in my ear.

Bracing myself, I turn back to face him, instantly stunned by his beauty the same way I was the first time I saw him. As I crane my neck to study his beautiful features, I realize I had nearly forgotten the true extent of his beauty. Studying him from head to toe, my eyes catch on his white dress shirt, slashed down the center by Victor’s blade. Before I can stop myself, I reach out and touch his chest through the tear. The heat of his skin burns me, but I don’t pull back. There’s a smooth line—a scar. The wound is nearly healed, but not quite.

As I trace the line with my fingers, I think about close I came to losing him. And maybe that’s why I need Ever to hate me. Because it will be easier, when I have to give myself up, if he already hates me.

“Alex said you would kill me to prevent Victor from taking control,” I whisper as I look up at him.

Ever’s muscles become rigid, but I keep talking.

“And after an endless war, I can see why you would want freedom …”

When he takes my face in his hands, I freeze—caught between fear and relief at feeling his touch again.

“I have accepted that Alex may have a piece of your heart,” he says quietly. “But I will not let him tell you lies. Wren, I will love you until time ends … and I know you feel the same. I wouldn’t sacrifice you for anything.”

I shake my head, knowing that if I try to speak, the lump in my throat will choke me. My thoughts are swimming, and I don’t know what to say or do—so I remain still and silent as I stare up at him.

Ever. My first, but not my only, love.

The green of Ever’s eyes burns in the moonlight as he watches me. Suddenly his hand shoots out and grabs my left wrist. Holding my hand in his, he carefully pulls the ring—Alex’s ring—from my finger. Before I can make a sound, he closes his hand into a fist, and when he opens his fingers again, the ring has disappeared—but not without leaving a burn mark in his palm. Reaching up, he takes the chain from his neck and kneels in front of me, holding out the ring, its infinity symbol glowing and otherworldly.

“Forever,” he whispers. “That’s all I ask.”

I try to breathe, but it’s like I’ve forgotten how. Panicked, I launch myself away from him, gasping for air that won’t come. I don’t want him to love me. I don’t want to be in love with two immortal beings. I want to escape my feelings, because all they seem to do is betray me. So I run. Hitting the soft sand, I hitch up my dress and keep running until I run directly into Ever. When he locks his hand around my wrists, I shake my head and try to twist away from him.

No matter how much I love him—and even if he still loves me—it doesn’t change what I did with Alex. Even worse, it doesn’t change the fact that, right or wrong, I … still … love Alex.

“Ever, I can’t.”

I frown, on the verge of more tears. I was with Alex … I don’t even know how long ago. Seconds? Minutes? Days? Years? I can’t tell anymore. Ever kneels down in the sand, and I stop breathing.

“Do you love me?” he whispers.

I close my eyes. I want to free him; I want to save him from my confusion.
I
want to escape it. But I can’t.

“Forever,” I gasp.

He slips the ring onto my finger and stands up.

“Then that is all that matters.”

I want to believe him. I want to trust myself. But nothing is that simple. All I have is this moment.

“I said I would wait until your eighteenth birthday to ask you again, and it is still your eighteenth birthday …”

I smile shakily.

“Eighteenth birthday? It feels like I should have turned at least thirty-five by now.”

My smile fades as his hand comes up to trace the side of my face. Suddenly a burst of light explodes around us. A second later, another lightning strike illuminates the enormous wall of water rushing toward us. Opening my mouth to scream, I’m suddenly … standing in Ever’s living room. I practically melt with relief when I see Chasen. Then my heart skips a beat. Audra? My mom? Matt?

“He’s broken the seal between dimensions,” Ever says, his voice dull and broken.

“You think?” Chasen retorts in a tone that would normally make me laugh.

I look across the room at TV screens that have suddenly materialized on the far wall. My first thought is that Chasen has developed an unnatural fascination with disaster movies. Then I remember the bank of screens at the compound in Antarctica. These are live video feeds—of volcanoes erupting, flooding, earthquakes … tsunamis.

It’s the end … of the world.

“
W
hy
?” I ask. “Why would Victor destroy everything if he wants this world so badly?”

“You could ask your fellow humans the same question,” Chasen says cheerfully. “Shortsightedness? Spite? Stupidity? Greed? Take your pick.”

I barely hear him as I watch an oilrig explode in a ball of flames on one screen. Then, one by one, the TV screens all flash to the same image of Victor.

“Ms. Sullivan, I have tried all means of persuasion, and I have been more than patient. Now I grow weary. Please enjoy the remainder of your time in this world. I promise you it will not be pleasant.”

“If I can’t have this world, then no one will,” I mumble under my breath.

So that’s it. Either I surrender myself, or the entire world self-destructs. Ever was right. My enemy has existed longer than I can possibly understand—and he has more leverage. I still have only one thing to bargain with. Myself.

I could try to fight, but how do I fight when someone is destroying the playing field? I could give myself up to Victor, but that would mean he wins.

The last possibility: I can give everyone else a chance.

My mind begins spinning. I need to find a way to end this, but of the options I can think of, none of them is good. I look at Ever and realize that if I’m going to end this, then my biggest obstacles are the two I love the most. I try blocking my thoughts, but Ever still turns toward me with an expression of dread.

“Wren …”

“Don’t!” I shout hoarsely, backing away from him.

“I must agree with Ever, once again,” Alex says, appearing at my other side.

Trapped between them, I back away like a cornered animal. Last year, they made a pact to save me—at any cost—and I lost Alex. I can’t trust either of them to do what’s right.

Part of me knows that if I die loving them both, some people might even think I deserve it. Poor, dumb Mary Sue who couldn’t make a choice—or evil bitch who wanted it all. But I know the truth: nobody chooses to love two people. And if I could stop loving one of them—or both—I would. Since I can’t change my feelings, I’m going to do the only thing I know will give Ever and Alex a better chance of saving themselves, my friends and family, and this world.

As Ever reaches out and grabs my hand, I summon every ounce of energy—and then watch as he’s blown back by a shock of electricity. When Alex wraps his arms around me, I summon a fireball of heat and send him flying, too.

“Audra,” I whisper.

I exhale in relief as she appears in all her Amazonian glory. When she takes my hand, I look one last time at Ever and Alex, their expressions mirroring each other’s.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

Then everything goes black again. When I wake up coughing and retching, Audra thrusts a bottle of liquid at me. My head is still spinning, but I chug the liquid anyway.

“Apologies,” she says dryly. “None of us is as good at shifting with a human as Ever, but he has more practice.”

“Thank—”

She holds up her hand.

“You’d do well to shield your thoughts, or Ever will break through my camouflage.”

I nod and pull up a mental wall around my thoughts as she walks over to the door to the empty room we’re in. Following her out the door, I shiver as a blast of cold air hits me. As eddies of snow dance around us, I look back at the small shack we just emerged from.

“Are we in Nepal?”

“Death Valley.”

Peering into the darkness, I suddenly remember that it’s almost summertime in the Western Hemisphere—and the hills are covered in snow. It’s literally freezing. Not just desert-at-night freezing, but dead-of-winter freezing.

“Um … is there a Death Valley in the Arctic Circle?”

Considering I was in Antarctica last year with Alex, anything is possible.

“No, but you can thank Victor when you see him. Of course, he would have caused this eventually—all to satisfy his own thirst for excess.”

“Excess
what
?”

“Just excess. Anything, everything. Victor consumes, controls, and conquers—because it is his nature. Eventually, he would destroy any realm he entered.”

When we cross a deserted road and start walking toward the middle of nowhere, I stop.

“Audra, no offense, but I’d rather not freeze to death before knowing if giving up everything is actually going to do something.”

She ignores me and keeps walking. I follow her grudgingly for a few more steps before she comes to a sudden stop. Picking up a rusty metal chain that looks like it could be used for anchoring ocean liners, she gives it a good yank. An enormous iron plate slides over, disrupting dirt and snow to expose a staircase leading underground.

Fantastic. Another freaking compound.

Audra gestures for me to follow her. Again, not seeing many options—other than running off to freeze to death in Death Valley—I start walking down the metal stairs. As soon as I make it to the bottom, I hear the heavy thud of metal sliding into place. Looking around, I realize that this space could double for the living room of the Portland house. Glossy dark floors, large couches. Comfortable enough to spend eternity. I whirl around to face Audra, who speaks before I get the chance.

“I’m curious—why did you think I would help you?” she asks as she dusts off her hands.

“Because you’ve thought about killing me before,” I say simply. “I didn’t think you’d mind much if I died and took Victor with me.”

“Then that’s your plan? To die?”

“Well, I
had
been hoping you could help with the fine-tuning part. I’d really like to stay not dead, so if you’ve got a better idea where I make it to the end, then feel free to enlighten me. Otherwise, I’m asking you to help me end this the right way. I don’t want to do this for nothing. I want you guys to have a chance to save things even if I don’t get to see the happily ever after part.”

“You plan to betray Ever and leave behind everyone you love? Would it not suit you better to become like us?”

I freeze in place, my eyes narrowing as I look at Audra.

“And just watch Victor destroy the Earth out of spite? What happened to you wanting to never have to fear him taking over your world again? You know, if you made some deal with Ever to keep me down there until Victor’s leveled the Earth, then—”

“A deal with Ever?” she laughs bitterly. “I’ll be fortunate if he deigns to speak to me after this.”

I look around.

“Really? Ever and the others aren’t going to show up here at any second to put me in a straight jacket?”

She removes a black glove from her hand and touches the nearest wall before holding her palm out for me to inspect. Her perfect skin is burned, already blistering.

“You mean this entire place is made of the same stuff as this?”

When I lift my hand and show her Ever’s ring, she nods.

“No one knows of this place,” she says.

“Chasen?”

“Especially not Chasen. You, Wren, are not the only one who expected she would have to betray the ones she loves.”

I look down, stung by her statement. It’s true, though.

“I’m sorry, Audra.”

“You do realize that
you are
the only thing either of them cares about saving?” she asks stoically.

I nod.

“That’s why I couldn’t trust either of them.”

She frowns and points to a couch across the room. Nodding, I walk over and sink down.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t let one of them change you,” she says. “We’ve kept Victor at bay for an eternity. You could have joined us.”

I
nearly
laugh at her practical tone. She’s talking about me making a million impossible decisions all rolled into one. Choose Ever or Alex? Give up my family, friends—my life?
And
possibly seal the fate for the rest of the world?

“Then what?” I ask. “Watch the rest of the world blow up around us?”

“It would be no different than it was in the beginning.”

Before humans evolved, she means.

“Don’t you understand why I can’t do that?” I ask, willing her to see the subjugation or destruction of Earth’s inhabitants from my point of view as a human.

She looks thoughtful for a moment and then sighs.

“Yes, I suppose I do. But do
you
understand what you’re doing?”

I look her straight in the eye.

“I don’t have any martyr-savior
delusions, if that’s what you mean. I’m not trying to die for ‘the cause’, but I
can’t
be the reason everybody else suffers.”

“You don’t think that will happen if Victor wins?” she asks plainly.

“That’s what I’m relying on you for. You’re going to make sure that doesn’t happen. Right?”

Her cerulean eyes flash.

“Then we’ll need a good plan, won’t we?”

***

We’ve spent hours going back and forth. Or maybe no time at all has passed—I can’t tell anymore. Either way, I’m frustrated and just plain freaked out. I want to protect everyone, but I also want to save myself. The problem is I can’t figure out a way to do both.

“That will never work,” Audra says, brushing off my latest plan.

“Why not?”

“Because Ever—or Alex—will stop you.”

I frown and shake my head.

“But I can’t leave them out. I’m going to need all of you if this is going to work.”

I imagine a new plan in my head again and start explaining it as I go.

“We’ll go somewhere remote—like Antarctica. There will be five of them and four of us. Ever, Alex, you, me. I need Ever and Alex outnumbered and distracted while we make a deal with Victor. Chasen, Alistair, and Persephone can keep an eye on my family and friends to make sure Victor doesn’t get sneaky. You’ll present me to Victor in return for your freedom and Chasen’s—I think Victor will buy it because he’s such an egomaniac. The end of the world will grind to a halt while Victor is celebrating his victory. Then I’ll stab him, and we’ll push him over the threshold into your dimension—”

“And then what?” she asks pointedly.

I frown again as I remember what happened last year on West Street Beach. As soon as Alex stepped across the divide, the four horsemen were sucked in after him.

“Then you
all
get sucked in,” I sigh in defeat, shaking my head.

“Okay, so how do we do it? How do I force Victor and the others across the divide, without you guys getting sucked in with them—and then use me to close the portal permanently, all without Ever or Alex stopping me?”

“Are you so certain you don’t
want
them to stop you?”

I feel a sharp pain between my eyes as tears threaten to spill out.

“Yes, I’m sure! Audra, Victor is going to destroy everything if I don’t stop him. You’ve been trying to stop him forever—literally
for ever
—and now you’re having doubts? Why?”

She smiles.

“Do you think I want to listen to Ever and Alex bickering for eternity about whose fault it is that you’re gone?”

I laugh until it turns into a hoarse cackle.

“Somehow I doubt you’re going to be having too many get-togethers with the whole ‘family’ after this is all over.”

When she smiles this time, she looks sad. Reaching out, she touches my hand, and I feel an undercurrent of
not human
, but it’s nothing like the sensation when I touch Ever or Alex. She studies my expression.

“You have a stronger connection with them, both of them, than to any of us. It was that way with Alistair and Persephone, so perhaps I should have expected it with Ever and you.”

“Do you think he’ll hate me?”

“For sacrificing his happiness and your own life?”

“And because of … because of Alex.”

“I think,” she says slowly, “that he would rather you alive and conflicted than dead and gone.”

“Okay then. Is there some mystery solution that would eliminate Victor but doesn’t require me not living anymore …” I trail off. “Like an inter-dimensional super putty that we can use to close the door?”

I catch Audra’s eye before she looks down, and I feel my pulse jump at the glimmer of hope in her eyes—real or imagined. After a moment, she looks up again and shakes her head.

“I’m sorry, Wren.”

I exhale and look around this subterranean version of the Portland house—one of the many places I’ll never see again. Not that it matters. It’s the people I’ll never see again who matter to me.

“I’m going into this with open eyes, Audra. You just have to promise me that you’ll take care of everyone after … after …”

“You’re dead,” Audra finishes.