Shadowborn (28 page)

Fingers sliding through his platinum blond hair, Nix grumbled to himself and gave a sharp exhalation. “Why do you touch him the way you do, yet every time I get close to you, you pull away? It’s insulting.”

His Light changed between gold and blue hues as his eyes went from hurt to angry and back to hurt. The ball of dread that had retracted its spikes from my center returned to stab me once more. Why did I touch Cas so easily? I had no romantic interest in him, but I didn’t think that had anything to do with it. “I think it’s because he doesn’t judge any of the fae based on what city they’re from. From the moment I met him, even in the face of Parthalan’s wrath, he chose to do what was right, no matter the cost to him. That and he doesn’t want anything from me other than friendship.”

Nix’s head tilted forward, and he remained mute while his jaw worked out a frustrated rhythm. “Are you saying I’m wrong to be disgusted by them? That I should accept that half of them have sex in torture chambers, and it’s okay to kill for fun?” He grabbed my arms and brought me close to his face. “Remember what they did to Willa? And they disembowel fae in the middle of the Court just for the sport of it. They are not like us, Lila, and I think you’re wrong to try to force us together.”

Willa, I knew about, but the disembowel thing I’d have to investigate.

After peeling his fingers off my arm one at a time, I stared at the stranger who’d taken Nix’s place. “I’m beginning to think I don’t even know you. What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the last year, Nix? Teach the fae how to fucking tap dance? The prophecy foretold that I’m supposed to bring us back together the way we used to be, when the fae were happy.”

“I am happy.” His tone suggested otherwise. “The only time I’m not is when they’re around.” A jut of his chin let me know his gesture was meant for Cas.

“Does this have something to do with where you went a few weeks ago?”

Nix went rigid. Through set teeth, he said, “I beg of you, don’t ask me that. It’s personal. If I told you, you couldn’t stomach their presence either, and I have no desire to make your life any harder than it is.”

Huh? What the blue blazes had he found out?
“I won’t ask now, but we will be talking about this later. And if you don’t pull your shit together, Gallagher’s going to go spelunking in your head whether you like it or not. And I’m not one to counsel anyone on happiness, but what I think we’re doing is existing. Frankly, I don’t think any of us remember what real happiness is anymore.”

“
You
make me happy, Li.”

I gasped when his fingers slid along the side of my face. I moved away, but his other arm looped around my back and held me to him.

“Please, don’t. Not now.”

“Why? I feel your body responding to me. You want me. I know you love me, even though you won’t say it. I’m sorry I’m acting like an ass, it’s just … I want to be close to you so badly, and I keep running into your walls.”

“Why do you want me, Nix?” I searched his eyes again, still nothing stirred me. “Would you still care for me if I weren’t queen of the Seelie?”

He chuckled. “Why would you ask me that? You are queen of the Seelie, so why does it matter?”

“You didn’t answer me.” I moved away as strange emotions passed over his face. Nix had never hesitated before. Needles danced along my spine.

“I love you, Li. What more do you need to know?”

More evasiveness. I didn’t want to accept what my inner voice whispered—that he cared more about my title than me. Despite my growing doubt, I let him gather me back into his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Can you please go back to being my rock? I … I need you right now.” The idea of going alone to the Unseelie Court sent prickly spiders treading along my spine.

He held me tighter. “The lack of sleep is affecting me more than I realized, I think. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“Do you promise to tell me soon what happened to make you hate them so much?”

He turned away. “Maybe. For now, let’s get this night over with.” His hand reached back and intertwined fingers with mine. “No matter what happens, I’ll be there when you need me. Always.”

I wanted to believe him. So why didn’t I? “I have to get ready for the ceremony.”

His thumb rubbed soothing circles over my knuckles as he pulled me next to him. “Don’t go, Li. Please. Just … stay home with me instead of torturing yourself. Let me hold you tonight.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I know, but you can’t blame me for trying. I’d do anything to save you from that pain.”

“Promise me you’ll do a better job of having an open mind when it comes to the Unseelie. They’re not all like Parthalan. I need you to believe we can come back together.”

His temple bumped against mine. “I promise to try, but … there are things you should know about them before—”

“Psst.”

I froze at the whispered sound and rolled my gaze toward Nix without turning my head. “Did you hear that?”

“Yeah.” Nix mirrored my scan of the surrounding woods, our Light growing in unison.

Galati appeared from the shadows right beside us. My heart climbed my throat.

“I haven’t much time.” She glanced left and right and sashayed to me in two long strides. “There is one of us who remains in the human world who may help you if she deems you worthy.” The one Alogason had spoken of? The prophet? Galati slipped a roll of cloth into my hand and folded my fingers around it. “I’m risking much by giving you this, but I disagree with the Elders’ decision in this matter.” She leaned down and kissed my forehead, silver tears drawing a shining line down her cheeks. “I wish … even when our world seems to collapse around us, a closer look often reveals that which we hold most dear has survived.” Her brown eyes bored into me as if trying to transfer knowledge she couldn’t say.

A flash took her from my sight and left me holding a worn, yellow cloth.

“Well, that was odd.” Nix gaped toward where the elf had been standing. “What do you suppose that was all about?”

I blinked. “I don’t know, but I wish I did.”
That which we hold most dear has survived?
Was she talking about the people who’d been taken by Alastair? I glanced at the fabric in my hand, unrolled the rough cloth and found a hastily sketched map drawn on it with what appeared to be berry juice.

“Is that what I think it is?” Nix squinted at the landmarks and squiggly lines.

“Yeah. I think she drew us a treasure map.”

“Uh … okay, but what’s the treasure?”

I rolled up the cloth. “How much time do we have before we have to go to the Black City?”

I’d never been so glad to have a distraction.

24

Gallagher brought the cloth map to his lips, kissed it and pranced around like a fool. “Thank Goddess, someone is watching over us.”

“Here’s hoping Galati isn’t being hung up by her pretty, spotted toenails for giving us that,” I said. Even though she irritated me at first, I didn’t want the elf to get hurt because of me.

My aide paced around, waving the map in the air. “We still have several hours before we need to be back in Dun Bray. Only a half hour has passed since we entered.” He stopped and set clouded eyes, filled with the hope of a little boy about to discover the hole he’d dug really led to the other side of the world, on me. “Is that time enough to find this … this elf who can … tell us … something?” The ‘what’ and the ‘who’ left me wondering. I leaned against the cold side of the car with Cas beside me. Nix stood in front of me, twirling a lock of my hair around his finger and staring into a world beyond my sight. “If this turns out to be nothing that helps with the Shadowborn situation, it will at least tell us what the Magi want with you and what they have against … Liam.”

Startled at Nix’s utterance of Liam’s name instead of his usual racial slur, I squinted at my guard and said a hesitant, “Thank you. And yeah, I agree that we need to hear what this elf has to say now rather than later.” We struck off into the woods again, looking for a path with a boulder next to it, uncertain if we’d interpreted Galati’s drawing properly. When Cas made an effort to strike up a conversation with Nix, I fell back and walked beside Gallagher.

“Are you more excited about a secret map, or about what we might learn?” A glance at my old friend revealed his relentless grin and light steps.

He drew in a sharp breath and let it out slowly. “When you get to be as old as I am, not much comes as a surprise. I truly believed, when I met you, that I’d finally seen it all.” Chuckling, he arched an eyebrow at me.

I jabbed him with my elbow in mock annoyance. A flock of birds took flight from the barren, spindly trees, causing a momentary jolt of panic to rip through me. Other animals twittered and called in the distance, harmonized by the creaking song of branches rubbing together in the breeze through the upper canopy.

“So … what do you think they are, the Magi?” I asked Gallagher as we walked.

“My ponderings have kept me from sleep.” He gathered one of his long, white dreads in his hands and twisted it in what I took to be a nervous gesture. “They wanted selkie skins, and many of them, even though the magic contained only affects its owner. Are they some sort of ancient sorcerers looking for the ingredients for a spell? Are they from another world looking for a way home? Your power is a marvel that many have come to covet, but for what gain?” Tossing his hair back over his shoulder, he gestured to the sky as if asking for answers. “The pieces are there, but not enough for me to form the picture. Never has it taken me so long to decipher anything. I fear if I don’t solve it soon, it will drive me mad.”

“Don’t say that, Gallagher. I’m counting on you to keep me sane. You taking a ride on the loony express is not an option right now.”

Head tilted back, a bass laugh rumbled out from his belly. “You have always had a way with words, right from those first few you uttered when you awoke in the castle. What was it you said to Neasa?” He tapped his chin. “You can’t go to war in a fucking gown?”

It was my turn to laugh—one I couldn’t contain even if I’d wanted to.

“There.” Cas pointed to a wide, gnarled tree, the trunk split into a “y” about halfway up. “I saw that on that map, didn’t I?”

When Gallagher and I reached them, he unfolded the cloth again and turned it around twice before settling on a direction to hold it up against the tree. “Presuming this is the correct tree, we walk ten paces …” his finger pointed to his left, “this way.”

Before Cas took a step, I grabbed his arm, noting the sudden silence. “Everyone shut up,” I whispered with a finger to my lips.

“What is it?” Nix mouthed.

“Nothing, that’s what. It’s too quiet.” Eyes closed, I summoned my Sight and pushed it out in every direction. It hadn’t occurred to me to search for the elf that way. The prickles along my neck convinced me it wasn’t an elf I searched for that time.

All around us, from my bird’s eye view within the trees, shadows moved in unnatural groups.

“Shit!” My lids lifted to reveal three wide-eyed stares. “They’re coming. Bring your Light!”

Blinded by the sudden flare, I blinked and squinted through the glow, searching for an escape route. Nothing but dense woods lay ahead of me.

“What are you doing here, Lila?” Alastair’s familiar voice ruffled the hairs on my nape and injected cold into my extremities. “I would have thought you’d be putting your affairs in order.”

Wading through the others, I moved toward the retched sound and found his male form protruding from the shadow of a spruce. Other outlines emerged all around us, but none spoke.

“Where is Juliet?” I wanted to add ‘you piece of shit’, but I refrained from the temptation.

Laughter, like crashing symbols, slammed against my eardrums. “I thought my employers were offering you a kindness by giving you this time to say goodbye. However, I see it has taken its toll on you. Shall we move up the deadline to this evening?”

Cas and Nix clenched their fists beside me, their outer selves bristling as much as my inner self. Then was not the time to go off on the shadow freak. “We’re attending a celebration tonight where I intend to say my goodbyes. I’ll be there tomorrow, alone, just like you said.”

At Nix’s protest, I shoved my hand against his chest and gave him a warning glare.

Alastair tipped his silhouette of a hat at me and bowed. “I wish my employers had been more reasonable about their claim on you.” He made a regretful sound, his rainbow eyes burning my skin as he traced me up and down. “You would have been the ultimate warrior for my army. I am anxious, though, to begin the hunt for my payment. Word has it, he is worthy prey.”

Inside my head, I screamed at the lousy dick, but the way he spoke of Liam made me think our dear Alastair didn’t know I’d figured out whose soul he intended to take.

Alastair started to shrink back into the shadows.

I blurted out, “If you’ve done anything permanently damaging to that girl, or anyone else, I swear I will take you apart molecule by molecule if it’s my final act.”

“Spoken like a true warrior.” Another bow. “Until tomorrow, then. Oh, and I wouldn’t suggest venturing much farther into these woods. You may find yourself a permanent addition to it if the legends prove true.” Echoes of his snickering faded with him.

Within seconds, his shadow army disappeared. The sounds of our combined pulses drummed in my head. By what I gathered through the Goddess’s senses, there had to have been thousands of souls with him. How many had he taken?

“What did he mean about becoming a permanent addition?” Cas shot a wary glance at me and back to the place where the Shadowborn leader had vanished. “What legends?”

We all shook our heads, including Gallagher—not what I wanted to see from him.

“Just effing great.” One by one, I willed my muscles from their hardened state to be more pliable. “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that wherever the legends came from, whatever elf we find under the ‘x’ on that map, it will be at the root of them.”

I started in the direction Gallagher had indicated before we were so rudely interrupted.