Shadowed (27 page)

“When I was ten, I decided I wanted to be G.I. Joe. Dad helped me go all out with
my costume. Toy guns, camo, patches on my uniform, the whole nine yards. When the
other guys came over to go trick-or-treating, I felt tough and in charge. I barked
orders all night.”

He shook his head, his sigh carrying in the quiet breeze. “Oh, Kaylan, if only I'd
known then.” He turned to face her. She could barely discern his features in the
dim glow of the bulb hanging next to the screen door. “I don't know how to keep you
safe right now. Even in a house full of Navy SEALs, this woman still had the nerve
to come in and this time leave you a direct threat. I have no idea what she'll do.”

His eyes were wild, and for the first time Kaylan feared his next words. “I'm wondering
if it is best for us to spend some time apart. Maybe if she thinks we broke up, she'll
leave you alone.”

Emotions roared through her, filling her ears. His words stung in places where scars
from Haiti hadn't quite calloused. She couldn't, wouldn't be abandoned. And she wouldn't
walk away from this. She'd lost one best friend. She refused to lose another to something
outside her control.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Kaylan, I . . . ”

“No, shut up and listen.”

He pulled back, his eyes regarding her, uncertain.

“Don't you dare break up with me or pull away. You aren't
allowed to do that. You
want me to let you leave, to fight for your country. You want me to support you like
Kim does for Logan.
You want to raise a family with me. But you want to walk away now? I think it's pretty
clear that we are better together, stronger together. And I refuse to let something
shake our relationship. No more earthquakes, Nick. Do you understand?” Tears rolled
down her cheeks, but anger overrode the fear. “I will not lose you too. You got it?”

A small smile lit his face, but uncertainty clouded his eyes. “Kaylan, you aren't
losing me. This is temporary. Just so she thinks . . . ”

“I don't care what she thinks. What happens if this comes up when we get married?
We won't separate then. No.” She shook her head, determined to fight this, determined
to never hide or cower again. “We fight this. We figure it out together. And we do
what we need to.”

He pulled her tight against him, his hands running through her tangled hair. “I don't
know what I would do if I lost you.”

“That's usually my line. You trust the Lord. And we do this together.”

“Kaylan, you don't get it. If I can't protect you, if something happened to you
while I'm gone . . . ”

“Stop. That's not your job, Nick.”

“It is my job to protect you, to love you, to keep you safe.”

She knew he would pack her in a bubble and send her to Antarctica if he could. She
traced the hard cut of his jaw, the stubble growing there, the faint traces of white
left over from where he had scrubbed his face. She loved the safety she felt in his
presence. But too often he tried to play God for her.

She'd wanted that after Haiti, wanted it more than anything because she'd thought
God wasn't a safe place for her. He had allowed the earthquake. But as she saw hundreds
rise up after the earthquake to follow “the best way,” as so many Haitians referred
to it, she couldn't help but acknowledge that even in the moments that shook her
faith, God remained good and in control. Of all things. Even if things weren't her
version of “good.”

“Babe, you can't protect me from the world.”

“Kaylan, if you agree to marry me that will be a big part of the ‘husband' job description.”

“That's not what I meant. Nick, ultimately that job belongs to the Lord. He gives
you that position in my life, but He alone can truly protect me. Don't take on yourself
what isn't yours. Trust Him with this, with me, with whatever comes.”

He rested his forehead on hers. “When did you get so smart?”

“Some guy shared that with me early this year. He can be my knight in shining armor,
but not my King.”

“Sounds pretty smart. Whatever happened to him?”

“He forgets from time to time. But thankfully he has someone pretty awesome around
to remind him.”

She could feel his grin charge the air even though she couldn't see it. He placed
a gentle kiss on her lips before pulling her to her feet and wrapping his arms around
her. “Well, I guess he better keep her around then, hmm? No matter what comes.”

Kaylan wrapped her arms around his neck, loving the fact that for once she could
help him. She kissed him this time, reassuring, trusting him. “No matter what,” she
whispered against his lips.

They returned to help Micah finish with the house. In the morning they would see
the baby, she would ask more questions about Janus, and they would determine a plan.
Together. No matter what, their relationship was worth fighting for.

Chapter 32

N
ICK HAD PROMISED
her one day of no worries, a date. Really the first one they'd
had with just the two of them since she had moved to California several months before.
Between the move, a deployment, Logan's injury, taking care of his family, the threats
from Janus, Nick's training, and her internship they had very little quality time
alone.

Nothing could ruin what lay ahead. Church had been sweet that morning, especially
after their tough conversation at Titus and Liza's. Despite Kaylan's adamant declaration
to stay together no matter what, she could feel his distance, the way his eyes shifted
through the restaurant patrons as they sat down under an umbrella at their favorite
café in Coronado.

“Have I told you lately how thankful I am that you're a burger girl?” Nick grinned
as he glanced through the short menu.

“Have I told you that it's a product of growing up in a family of mostly guys? No
‘chick food,' as Seth likes to call it.”

“There's a definite difference in chick food and eating healthy. But every once in
a while it is really nice to have a burger.”

A chair scraped the cement behind them as another couple sat down. She watched his
attention revert slightly, his eyes subtly studying the woman. Kaylan knew she should
be nervous, but
she'd meant what she said. The Lord was in control. If she doubted
that, then the earthquake, Sarah Beth's death, and her relationship with Nick were
all freak accidents of chance and not worth the pain or effort.

She reached across the table and entwined their fingers, bringing his attention back
to her. His gray V-neck T-shirt only enhanced the gray blue of his eyes, and the
sun made the golden strands in his hair pop today. His slow, lazy smile responded
to her touch, warming her and bringing a blush. Not for the first time, she cursed
the reaction. Why couldn't she stay as cool as he did?

“Let's play twenty questions again today,” Nick suggested. He paused to give their
orders to the waitress and then focused on her again. Kaylan appreciated the effort.

“That game got a little heated last time.”

“Heated in a good way, babe.” He winked. “Besides, I like the fact that you have
to answer.”

She shot him a look that drew a laugh. “Don't press your luck, mister. I still reserve
the right to pass.”

“That's not in the rules, gorgeous.”

“Since when did we make rules?”

“Since I decided to.” Every once in a while that arrogance emerged, and right now
it blossomed as he sat back and crossed his arms. “I'll even let you ask the first
question.”

She sat back in the patio chair and tapped her fingers on the glass table top. “All
right. Tell me something I don't know about you.”

“That's not a question.”

“Pretend it is.”

“Fine.” He leaned forward, and his expression grew serious. “I have a sister.”

Kaylan didn't quite know how to take that one. She'd expected him to tell her a new
interest, hobby, secret about work, or an
embarrassing story. Never did she expect
that revelation. She rejected a stab of betrayal at the revelation of a secret so
big.

“You have a what?”

He linked both of their hands again. “A sister. I know. It's a big deal.”

“Just a little. Why didn't I know this before? Where is she? Who is she?”

“Babe, I just found out. When I was in Georgia, Pap called. He was nearby and wanted
to meet for dinner. He's been looking into my family. I guess it gives him something
to do right now.”

She squeezed his hands. “No, he does it because he loves you. Even if he were the
busiest man in the world, he would still make time. You are family now. It's what
we do.”

He smiled. “It just takes some getting used to. It's been a while since I had a real
family. And now I have family I've never met. Blood, Kaylan. Pap gave me some info
on her.” His voice dropped. “And a picture. She's beautiful.”

The waitress came back with their orders, and both of them dug into their hamburgers
and fries. Kaylan often forgot that Nick had never known his blood family. As long
as she had known him, he'd had a desire to find his birth parents. And now he had
a sister. She couldn't imagine never knowing David, Micah, or Seth. They were her
whole world and shaped so much of who she was today. As she watched Nick, she knew
he grieved the years he'd lost with his sister.

“Well, I know I spent my turn, but I'm writing a rule that I get to ask more questions
on this one.”

He chuckled. “I'll allow it. Just this once.”

“What's her name? Have you met her? Older or younger?”

“She goes by Natalie. She works at an Air Force base here in California.” He smirked.
“I'll forgive her that little oversight. She should've gone Navy. And apparently
she's my age.”

“A twin? You've got to be kidding.”

Nick shook his head. “I wish I were. We were adopted separately. Two different homes,
two different lives. We've lived in the same state and have never met.”

“Well, I think it's time to fix that.”

“Kaylan, I think the last thing we need to do is add that to our life. I don't want
to disrupt her until we catch Janus.” He lowered his voice and leaned forward, his
gaze raking the people nearby. “I think it's better if we don't put her in the line
of fire. For some reason this chick has a fascination with the women in my life.
Let's not give her ammo.”

“Then catch her and let's meet your sister.”

Nick studied her, and Kaylan let him see every part of her heart, her eagerness for
him to have a family, her willingness to support him, even that she would lead the
charge with this new information.

“You're pretty amazing, you know that?”

Kaylan put her hand over her heart. “Was that your question? I'm shocked it took
you this long to notice.”

“Sometimes I can be a little slow.”

“Sometimes?”

He dropped money on the table and stood up, stealing a kiss in the process. His smile
spelled danger. “Watch it, gorgeous. You may get more than you bargained for. Or
I may decide to take back my surprise.”

She stood up and slipped her hand in his. “You planned a surprise?”

“I'm a man of many secrets.”

She elbowed him in the ribs. “Better not be too many.”

He met her eyes and held them, all joking aside. “Only when I have to, Kaylan. But
never something that could hurt our relationship.”

“I understand. And you still won't tell me who this mysterious letter writer is?”

He laughed as they walked down a row of shops and restaurants. “It's my turn for
the questions. Speaking of, you up for ice cream?”

She rolled her eyes. “Now that was a dumb question.”

“How can I ever make it up to you?”

“Spring for two scoops.”

The ice cream store smelled of sugar and happiness to Kaylan. She could remember
many trips to get ice cream with her parents and Seth in particular after school.

Kaylan loved sampling the flavors. She chose a waffle cone and requested two scoops
of cheesecake while Nick chose two scoops of double chocolate chip with what looked
like marshmallows in it.

He swung his arm over her shoulder as they left the shop and wandered down to the
beach. “Why do you get cheesecake flavor? We could just go get cheesecake instead.”

“First of all, no one makes cheesecake as good as Gran. Second, this way I get two
desserts in one. Don't knock it 'til you try it.”

He kissed her hair as they walked, her feet sinking into the sand. “You're missing
your family today, aren't you?”

“I always miss them. What was your first clue?”

“I know you. But you've mentioned them a lot. You tend to get this distant look in
those gorgeous green eyes.”

“I guess I'm feeling a little nostalgic today.”

“Why is that?”

“It's our first day to really put aside the busyness of life and just be together.
I guess with that comes a break from routine and a chance to feel everything I've
pushed away. I miss Alabama, the trees, the weather, the people. With the holidays
creeping up, I miss Sarah Beth. It's almost been a year since we graduated. I miss
being able to watch Seth's games and be around Dave on the weekends to fish or watch
a movie with him. I miss decorating with Mom, cooking with Gran, playing games with
Pap, helping Dad build those model ships in his office. I miss mornings on the lake.
I
miss college. I guess things were simpler last year.” She gazed up at him. “Who
would have thought what the past year would bring?”