Shadowed (12 page)

He grinned. “How many kids do you want?”

“Five.”

His eyes glowed like giant orbs. “Are you kidding? How about three.”

“Hey, you asked a question, and I gave you an honest answer. Don't discourage me.”

He smirked. “That is not a weapon for you to use.”

She grinned. “Consider it a one-time thing. How about three and we can adopt two
from Haiti?”

“That's still five kids, Kaylan.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. I'll consider a negotiation. Maybe.”

His grin hit the danger zone again as he leaned in for a kiss. “We can negotiate
while we're practicing,” he whispered against her lips.

Every fiber of her body responded to his touch, but she knew trouble when it knocked.
She giggled and pulled away from him, jumping off the couch. “Okay, and with that,
it's bedtime.”

She padded down the hall and returned with sheets and a pillow for the couch. She
handed them to him, and he tossed them on the cushions. He stalked her as she backed
away, trying not to encourage him. “Don't I get a good-night kiss?”

“What did you just call that?” She pointed to the couch and then bumped into a wall,
a picture frame rocking next to her head.

He pinned her with his arms, his eyes drifting to her lips.

“Nick Carmichael, you are trouble tonight.”

He leaned in close, his lips a breath away, making her heart leap into her throat
as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “No. Just in love with you.” The words
made her head spin as his kiss stole her breath away.

After a moment he pulled back, his hands now cradling her face. “Just so you know,
I love you no matter what. It's not a conditional thing.”

“My head gets that. My heart doesn't trust it.”

He thought for a moment. “Kaylan, how are you sure of the Lord's love for you?”

Unexpected tears came to her eyes, but she blinked them away. “I guess I didn't think
about that until the earthquake. But now I understand it better. He didn't leave
me when I raged at Him, never abandoned me when my heart grew bitter. He sent me
sunrise after sunrise to remind me of the beauty that comes after the darkest night.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “And He sent me you to walk through it.”

“God knows your heart, every beautiful, messy bit of it.” He tucked a strand of hair
behind her ear. “How do you know what love is? How do you measure it?”

“I guess you can't.”

He nodded. “Sure you can. Love comes from God, Kayles. It's deeper than we can ever
understand, purer than we'll ever know, and unconditional no matter what we do, how
far we run from Him, or how much we push Him away. We know it, because He is the
embodiment of love itself.” Nick brought her fingers up to his lips and kissed them.
“Kayles, I'm not perfect. I never will be. I can't promise to never leave in the
physical sense. I'm a soldier. But I can promise to never stop loving you and never
base it on circumstance.

“Kayles, if He can love a prideful, playboy, college athlete who wanted nothing to
do with Him, then I can love others no matter what. I'm not scared of the dark places,
baby. Trust me. But more than that, trust Him with those dark spots. I promise, my
love for you is unchanging. It's purer than I've ever known.”

Peace settled her racing heart, and she leaned into Nick's arms, feeling a security
and depth there she had yet to discover.
Lord
,
teach me to let him in
,
to let people
in again. I don't know how.

A lesson she learned in Haiti came flooding back. She would tackle this relationship
one step at a time. She would open her heart, and she would remember what it looked
like to love with all she possessed. Then she would understand how to love Nick as
he truly deserved. And she wouldn't stop trying until that became a reality.

Chapter 14

N
ICK POUNDED THE
sand, running in and out of the surf three days after returning
home. Lecrae blared in his ears, and water danced around his ankles. It felt good
to be home. He had a date with a gorgeous girl that night, one whose heart rivaled
her good looks—pure gold.

There was still no word on Logan's leg. The whole team rotated in and out of the
house, helping Kim take care of the kids. Kaylan, Nick, and Micah planned to take
them to the beach the next day—get them out of the house and hospital, away from
talk of their dad losing his leg.

The phone rang, breaking through his music. He slowed to a stop and put his hands
on his knees trying to catch his breath before answering.

“Yeah, Bulldog.”

“Dude, you need to hit the gym more if you are breathing that hard after a little
run.”

“Did you call for a purpose while you lounge around the house before work?”

“Yep. Have you been through the mail since we've been home?”

“Um, don't think so. I've been kinda busy. Why?”

“Nikolai Sebastian . . . that name mean anything to you?”

Nick nearly stopped breathing.

“Hawk. Did you hear me? Do you know who that is, or . . . or is this you?”

Nick cleared his throat, his heart still racing. No one knew that name. “It was on
my birth certificate and my service records, but that's it. I never use it. No one
knows. My mom always called me Nick Anthony after my dad. Is there a return address?”

“Nah, man. Whoever it was didn't even put your last name on the envelope. Want me
to open it?”

“No! No. I'll be home in a few.”

Nick practically sprinted the last half mile to his Jeep, curiosity pushing past
his burning muscles and aching chest.

He threw the keys in the ignition, slammed the car into gear, and peeled out of the
parking lot, his wheels threatening to fishtail on the thin layer of sand covering
the concrete. Within minutes he made it to the house he shared with Micah, close
to the base and close to the beach.

Throwing the door open, he immediately went for the table where a nondescript white
envelope lay waiting for him. Micah walked in from the living room as Nick examined
the writing. The style and formation of the letter seemed familiar, like he'd seen
it before but didn't know it well enough to identify immediately. He flipped the
envelope in his hand, the back as blank as a chalkboard on the first day of school.

He tore into the envelope and pulled a thin sheet of paper from inside. No. He froze,
his heart settling like a stone.

Micah picked up the envelope and shook out a picture. Lifting it off the table, he
turned it toward Nick.

Nick wanted to swear but bit his tongue, immediately tasting blood.

“Hawk, why is a picture of you and my sister in this envelope?” Micah snatched the
note sheet out of Nick's hands. Nick reached for the picture, a shot of him and Kaylan
at the beach, covered in
sand from a game of volleyball. Kaylan had this picture
up somewhere in her house.

His heart sank all the way to his toes. Kaylan.

“Hawk, what does this say?”

Nick licked his lips, his voice shaky as he responded. “It's Russian. It says, ‘It's
me or her. Take your pick.'” He met Micah's eyes, his fear full blown. “It's the
same handwriting as the note we found on
The Jupiter
.”

“Janus,” Micah spat. “How did she get this picture, Hawk?” Micah met him nose to
nose. “How the heck did she get this picture of you and my sister?”

“I don't know. But here's another question: How does she know my full name? And why
didn't she use my last name? No one has ever called me Nikolai. And no one spells
it like that. Who is this woman?”

Micah tossed the paper on the table. “I'm calling Kaylan. Get that stuff in a Ziploc
bag and let's take it to base now. First Logan and now a picture of Kaylan. This
chick just messed with the wrong Frogmen. Time to call in my buddy in the FBI.”

Janus's gaze drifted to the calendar. Nick would have her letter right now. She'd
sent it to Victor, then had him send it from Moscow. No way the envelope could be
traced back to her exactly. No fingerprints. No DNA. Nothing. She'd even selected
the paper from the stash she'd purchased in a Ukrainian market. Let him wonder how
much she knew and where she stalked him.

He would not ruin her life. Not again.

She poured vodka in a tumbler and gazed around her new home. She'd furnished the
rooms exactly as she liked them. She'd purchased new furniture, a new coverlet, and
pillows for the bed. Money was no object.

Men always wanted weapons, and her boss knew where to find them. She offered her
clients an endless supply, terrorists or politicians. Sometimes the line blurred.
If she pocketed some of the profit now and then, the big man remained oblivious.
His bank accounts overflowed.

She'd alerted her boss. The team had returned. From what she'd gathered, one appeared
injured and might possibly lose a leg. She had a man on it, a rather handsome one
at that. It amazed her how talkative nurses could be over coffee with a handsome
stranger after a long night on shift.

She took a swig of the vodka, thankful for the taste of home. She really did prefer
the bourbon, though. Or maybe a nice glass of wine charged to the boss's account.

Her chest tightened. They were too close, and he breathed down her neck like a dragon,
one step away from writing her death sentence. How to take care of both problems?

She wouldn't live the rest of her life behind bars, and the SEAL team knew too much,
would chase her to the ends of the earth until they ended their mission. Maybe it
was time to look into real estate on a remote beach somewhere.

But if she couldn't run, one option remained. She could run right to the thing the
team wanted most. Her boss.

Her hands began to shake. If only she were as noble as Andrei, as kind, as self-sacrificing.

A car jerked to a stop down the street, startling her. The glass slipped from her
hands, shattering into prismatic shards. Her heart raced and she gripped her chest.

Enough.

Nothing could change the past. And nothing could save her now. But she'd vowed long
ago that no man would ever control or manipulate her again. If she couldn't scare
Nick away, then she would do whatever necessary to ruin his life and her boss's in
the process.

It was the only way.

Chapter 15

K
AYLAN FINISHED UP
her meeting with Mr. Armitage. With his invasive surgery looming,
she would need to take care and plan his diet accordingly. The hospital dietician
continually taught her how to keep track of each patient's medical chart and diet.
It could be an overwhelming task at times, but Kaylan decided to adopt the SEAL mentality
of never giving up. She would learn this and be better for it.

Kelly, one of the nurses, stuck her head in the room as Kaylan rose to leave. “Kaylan,
two guys are out in the hall making a fuss looking for you. Can you please make them
shut up so the patients can get some peace and quiet?”

“That's weird. Yeah, I'm coming.” She waved at Mr. Armitage and hurried from the
room, following the loud voices coming from near the nurse's station.

“If you won't tell us where she is, we'll find her ourselves.”

“Sir, if you don't calm down I'm calling security.”

“Ma'am, this is an emergency.”

Kaylan began to jog, recognizing her brother's voice. Micah never showed up at work.
And he never yelled unless something had happened, usually something bad. She entered
the open area
around the desk and immediately spotted Micah and Nick. Kaylan rushed
forward.

“Micah, calm down. I'm right here. What is going on?”

Micah immediately grabbed her arm and pulled her down the hallway out of earshot
of the nurses.

“Micah, that kinda hurts. Let go.”

“Bulldog, you need to calm down.”

Micah released Kaylan's arm and took a deep breath. “Kayles, I'm sorry. We just couldn't
find you, and it was like Haiti all over again and I panicked.”

“Oh, Micah.” She stepped into her brother's arms, kicking herself for never realizing
the toll their trip to Haiti must have cost him as well. She wasn't the only one
who'd been hurt. He'd tried to find her for days, only to locate the ghost of the
girl she used to be.

She pulled away from her brother. “Okay, now what is the big deal? Is the family
okay? Pap, he didn't have another stroke.” She fought fear and panic in equal measure
as she battled to stay calm. “No, it's not the family, Kayles.”

Kaylan couldn't think of what else could possibly warrant a work invasion. She glanced
at the clock. She could go home in two hours. What was so urgent?