Shame On Me (7 page)

“Stop teasing me or you’re fired!”

I decide to have mercy on him and take the entire head into my mouth and I get wet when I hear him groan. I continue to inch my way down his junk as my hand works the lower half and his groans get increasingly louder the deeper I take him in. When his junk hits the back of my throat I relax my throat and pull him in even deeper.

At this point Ethan must have gotten tired of my slow strokes because he tangles his fingers in my hair and makes me move faster. When he’s close to popping, he starts to slow my strokes and encourages me to deep throat him.

He removes my hair from my ponytail holder so his fingers can get a firmer grip. I feel his junk swell in my mouth before he commands me to get ready. He shoves his junk down my throat and I feel his hot cum spill down my throat.

I barely swallow him down before I’m yanked off of my knees and thrown onto the bed. I have no time to react before I’m flipped onto my stomach and he dons a condom. He slams into me and feeling him so deep inside of me causes me to scream out in pleasure.

His weight pushes my body into the bed as his hips push my orgasm closer to the edge. He’s pumping into me like a mad man and I’m pushing back into him like my life depends on this orgasm.

I’m crazy close to coming when I feel his thumb push into my rectum and I free fall over the edge. I’m still coming when I hear him explode too.

I have never cum that hard!

Never!

I’m too tired to move and I’m completely grateful when I feel Ethan clean me up with a warm washcloth. I sigh in contentment when he pulls off my dress and shoes and pulls the covers over us.

“If those are the rewards I get, I’ll be a good boy every day.” I hear as I fall asleep.

****

When I wake up the next morning Ethan is already at work and I have nothing to do. Ava stayed out and Ethan isn’t here to make breakfast so I go for a jog, clean the house, shower, and get ready for my shift at Ice.

****

My night is goin fine until I hear “Angel” yelled from nearby. I close my eyes and curse whoever told Noah where to find me. I open my eyes and help other customers before going to see what he wants.

“Why are you here Noah?”

“I heard you were here and I haven’t heard from you since that night.” I know he’s waiting for me to defend myself but all I do is stare at him. “I miss you baby,” he says as he runs his fingers down my forearm. I take my hands off of the bar and slip into bitch mode.

“I don’t miss you.”

“You did a few weeks ago.”

“I was drunk and you know it! There is no reason why I would normally allow you to touch me.”

“Baby I said I was sorry.”

“I heard you the first time, and stop calling me baby.”

“You will never stop being my baby.”

I huff loudly as I run my palm across my forehead (a clear indication that I am aggravated and quickly advancing to being pissed). Noah can read me like a book and backs off immediately.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, I just miss my girl.”

“Do you want something to drink?”

“No, I just wanted to see you. I’ll be in touch Angel,” he says before walking away.

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths before moving on to my next customer. After sleeping with him weeks ago I promised myself that I wouldn’t allow him to get to me anymore, and I’ll be damned if I break that promise.

I debate telling Ethan about Noah but decided against it. If I want him to stay in my past I have to leave him there. Right?

I consider this conundrum as I move from customer to customer for the remainder of my shift. By the time I’m in my car I’m seriously doubting my decision to remain silent about Noah. What if Ethan finds out and thinks I purposely lied to him? After all an omission is the same as a lie. What are the chances that they’ll ever cross paths? Shit with Noah popping up, there’s a huge chance of that happening. Okay I’ll tell him but not until it feels right. I drive home content with my decision and mentally count down the days until I get to see Ethan again.

Chapter Eight

An Omission Is A Lie

Ethan and I easily fall into a rhythm of sorts. During the week we text on our breaks and talk before going to bed, on Wednesdays we synchronize our dinner breaks so that we can eat together at The Grill, at the end of my shift on Fridays he has a beer at the bar before taking me home, and we spend most of the day together on Saturdays. He will occasionally meet me at home on Saturday night but after breakfast on Sunday I don’t see him again until Wednesday.

****

Four weeks later…Friday

Ethan and I barely step out of The Grill when Noah blocks our path to the car. Shit I haven’t told Ethan about him yet! I knew this would come back to bite me. I squeeze his hand hard to gain his attention but before he can look at me Noah begins his tirade.

“So is this why you don’t have time for me?” Noah asks.

I look at Ethan in time to see him lean his head to the side and raise his brow in confusion. “Excuse me?”

“I’m talking to Angel.”

Ethan looks at me out of the corner of his eye but says nothing. He starts walking us towards the car again but Noah isn’t having it. “So now you’re going to play me like you don’t know me?” Ethan’s hand gets tighter around mine as his eyes casually take in Noah. Uh oh. I have learned that this means he’s on the verge of being seriously pissed off.

“Just because she flirts with you doesn’t mean she knows you. Wake up, she does that shit with every dude in there to get bigger tips.” Noah finally takes his eyes off of me and takes in Ethan.

“Oh she knows me and my dick well,” he says while adjusting himself. I feel Ethan lurch forward but I quickly step in front of him.

“Ignore him Ethan,” I whisper desperate for this to be over. Noah hears my whisper and yanks me towards him.

“Ignore me? Ignore me?! Ignore the fact that your panties and shoes are still under my bed!”

Ethan yanks me back towards him and pushes Noah back a few feet. “Don’t ever touch her!”

“I can touch my girl anytime I want!”

“Do you know him?” Ethan asks me through clenched teeth while never taking his eyes off of Noah.

“Who is this clown Angel?”

Uh oh this is about to get bad. I look towards the entrance of the bar hoping to catch D or Tim lurking around.

“Who wants to know?”

“The man who has her heart. You wonder why it’s so hard to break down that wall around her heart? You wonder why it’s so hard for you to get in? It’s because I’m still tattooed all over that,” Noah says pointing at me. “So again,
who are you
?”

Ethan steps so close to Noah that I’m sure he can smell the beer on Ethan’s breath. “Who am I? I’m the man that won. I saw that wall and kicked right through that shit. You may have been tattooed on her but the tattoo was done in henna and the more I touch her the more you disappear. You think you got her? You don’t. See your problem is that you never understood who she is. You tried to clutch her any way you could and you lost her because you stifled her. How can you catch the wind in your hands?”

Did he just compare me to the wind? I turn my attention to Ethan because I don’t want to miss one word.

“The wind can shift from hot to cold, soft to loud, or from soothing to wild and uncomfortable for no reason at all. When she’s pissed she’s loud and pushes you away but I don’t let her. That is the difference between us. If you appreciated her then you would still have her but since you don’t, respect the man she is with and back off.”

Noah is staring at Ethan like he wants to hit him but all he does is stare at him with his mouth pinched tight. I have to cover my mouth because I am laughing so hard. I have never seen Noah speechless and I love that stupid look he has on his face.

Ethan tightens his hold my hand and casually walks around Noah to the car.  When I notice Noah watching me I smile smugly at him before he stalks away. My smile immediately falls when Ethan gets into the car and stares at me.

“I know I should’ve told you about him.” He nods then proceeds to drive me home. When we reach my bedroom he sits in my recliner and silently watches me get ready to take a shower.

****

Ethan

“Talk.”

“I’m not some dog, don’t speak to me that way.”

I know that she’s trying to bait me with an argument so I ignore it and remain focused.

“Seriously Mia, talk.” I watch as she flinches when I call her Mia instead of darlin’. She nervously watches me for a few moments before sitting on the edge of her bed.

“That was Noah, my ex. We were high school sweethearts and went off to college together. He cheated on me constantly and I only found out because he burned me. I was devastated; I mean my boyfriend of five years could have killed me because he’s greedy. We broke up after that and stayed apart for a few months but he was my first love and I missed him so I decided to give him another chance. When we got back together I made sure that we used condoms every time and I got tested every three months. A year went by before a girl showed up to his dorm room demanding money for a trip to the abortion clinic.”

She moves her eyes to her feet and takes a deep breath before continuing. “You know the saying, fool me once...” She pauses for a moment then continues speaking. “If I wasn’t Noah’s girlfriend then who was I? I hated him and I hated the person I had become. So I transferred schools and didn’t speak to him for several years. I ran into him a few weeks before I met you and we slept together. I hate that I slept with him and he knows that if I weren’t drunk then it never would’ve happened. We used protection but I got tested anyway. I got tested twice before sleeping with you and once afterwards. I’m not in love with him anymore but he refuses to let me go.”

When she stops talking her eyes find mine and she looks embarrassed. I need time to process all of this but I can’t do that here. I need time alone to think. I run my hands over my face in frustration and walk over to her.

“I wish you would’ve told me before he ambushed us. It makes me wonder if you were ever going to tell me.” I kiss her on the forehead before heading out of the bedroom.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, I need time to digest all of this. I’ll call you sometime this week.”

****

Saturday

I just fell asleep two hours ago but the smell of coffee has convinced me that I’ve slept long enough. I’m halfway to the shower before my sleep-deprived mind realizes that Ava doesn’t drink coffee.

That can only mean one thing! I throw open my bedroom door and race downstairs like its Christmas morning.

A huge smile appears on my face when I spot Ethan on the couch drinking coffee. When he spots me he winks and pats the seat next to him. On the coffee table are two warm blueberry muffins with butter and an iced coffee.

He has just enough time to put down his coffee before I impulsively throw myself on his lap and wrap my arms around his neck.

“I’m so sorry babe,” I tell his neck

“I know,” he replies softly as he soothingly rubs my back. “Is he the reason why you didn’t want to date me?”

“It wasn’t anything against you personally. I lost myself in Noah when I fell in love with him and I didn’t want that to ever happen again. So I avoided new relationships and occasionally hooked up with guys. Then I met you and you made my connection with Noah look like a schoolyard crush and it scared the crap out of me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because that would involve explaining Noah, which is hard to do when you’re trying to forget that part of your life.”

“I understand that you were trying to protect yourself, but I don’t like being kept in the dark. An omission is the same as a lie.”

I look into his eyes and can tell just how much my omission has hurt him. This is why I do not lie. It always comes back to bite you.
Always
. If he forgives me, I will
never
lie to him again.

“Do you forgive me?” I ask quietly.

“Yes.”

“Last night was the loneliest night of my life; I’ll never lie to you again.” The crack in my voice tells him just how close I am to crying.

“Good,” he whispers while cuddling me closer. We stay that way for a while before he says, “nice hair.”

OMG! I take off running to my bedroom with his chuckles following me. My hair is puffy from the steam from my thousand-hour shower last night. I don’t want to spend the time to fix it so I brush it up into a messy bun and put on a headband to catch the fly aways.

I take another five minutes to brush my teeth and freshen up. I race back to the comfy room like I’m afraid seeing him earlier was a mirage. When my head is comfortably positioned on his shoulder, I eagerly drink my coffee.

“How’d you get in?”

“Ava called me to ask me what was taking so long with breakfast. So when I explained to her what happened she suggested that we get our heads out of our asses and work things out. She was waiting for me by the door when I got here.” I should have known Ava was involved. That girl is always looking out for her stomach. “Do you mind if I invite my roommate to lunch? He can’t wait to meet the girl that has me open,” he says with a blush.