Shattered (16 page)

“All right. We’ll see, my nigga,” Smurf said. “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” everybody said as they clinked each other’s glasses.

I felt so proud to be Rich’s girl. I rubbed his knee underneath the table and leaned over to kiss him. I was so excited about all of this that I half ate my stuffed fish, string beans, and sliced carrots. I felt like somebody needed to pinch me cuz this had to be a dream.

T
he next night after a long and exhausting, fun day of ziplining through the rain forest (which really means it rains all the time, by the way), chilling at the beach, snorkeling around the coral reef, and on the lookout boat for pools of dolphins, me and Rich got a couples massage where they put steaming hot rocks all over our backs. That shit felt so good. He was so quiet the whole time, though. I thought he had a lot on his mind cuz his mood was so much different earlier. When we got back to our tree house cottage, we both collapsed in the hammock and took a long nap. When I opened my eyes, Rich was staring at me. He had been watching me sleep.

“Hey,” I said, smiling.

“Hey. It’s something I wanna ask you.”

I smiled, wondering what that wonderful question could be.

“Today at the beach, Ty told me something that I ain’t wanna believe, and I need to know if it’s true.”

What the fuck?
All of a sudden I felt a stack of bricks drop on my chest as I tried to breathe. I gasped for pockets of air.
What was happening?
Tears slid from my eyes, and I couldn’t breathe.

“Whoa, KiKi, breathe, girl,” Rich said, trying to sit me up.

I tried to inhale again. Suddenly my lungs opened up, and I could breathe better.

“You okay now?” he asked, wiping my face.

I nodded even though I couldn’t remember ever hyperventilating before in my life.

“So tell me…everything. Right now.”

More tears slid from my eyes as I thought about what he might’ve already known. I ain’t wanna tell him everything. There was no way I could tell him about the coke or what Ty did to me or my part in what Ty did to me.

“Stop thinking about
what
to say and just say it,” he said with his patience obviously thinner than before.

I shook my head and wiped my own tears, sniffling the whole time.

“All these tears can’t just be about no damn coke,” Rich said before stepping out of the hammock.

I sniffled again, closed my eyes, and tried to swallow the truth that was stuck in my throat.

“Just fucking tell me,” Rich said, pissed.

“Um…um…”

“Don’t give me that ‘um’ shit!” Rich barked and paced the wood floors. “Just spit it out. Did you fuck him, too?”

I shook my head cuz I couldn’t speak. My mouth had gotten too dry. He had never been mad at me before.

“KiKi, I love you, man,” he said, pausing and shaking his head. “This shit is hurting my heart.”

“I didn’t touch him, baby, I promise. And he ain’t touch me, either. I swear to God,” I cried, knowing that it took a lot for him to admit his feelings for me. I felt so low. Rich looked at me with doubtful eyes and shook his head.

“I was hoping you was gonna tell me he was lying about the coke or some shit, but not…not this.”

“I was high, Rich.”

The look on his face told me that ain’t make a damn bit of difference.

“Why can’t you see what I see in you?” he said with a look I had never seen on nobody’s face before when they looked at me. “I’ll be back.”

Rich headed out of the cottage. I ran behind him, but he pushed me toward the bed.
How could I disappoint the one person who loved me without any questions?
I stayed in the room, crying in a ball on the bed until I heard him come back in the early hours of the next morning. He smelled like liquor when he climbed in the bed. I reached out to him, but he pushed my hand away and kept his back to me. I felt so pitiful. I cried into the pillow, feeling like somebody else’s trash.

When Rich had fallen into a deep sleep, I crawled down his thighs and put his dick in my mouth. I sucked until I felt him getting hard. Rich put his hand on the top of my head as I licked and sucked until every inch of his entire body lurched awake. He moaned as I deep throated and swallowed every single drop that flowed from him.

When I was done, instead of Rich kissing and holding me like he usually did, he rolled back over and went to sleep. I felt like a failure. Like I couldn’t make him see that what happened with Ty wasn’t on purpose. Some of this was his fault, too. The tears wouldn’t stop, no matter what I did. I had to get out of this tree house. It was choking me. I climbed out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. I threw on some jeans, a tank top, and some flip-flops and went outside for a walk on the lighted wooden path. I could hear frogs croaking, crickets, and whatever other creatures lurked in the darkness on both sides of the jungle. I felt stupid for being out here alone, but for the life of me I couldn’t breathe in that room. I smelled a thick whiff of burning cinnamon in the air. I turned around to find Smurf walking behind me, smoking a cigar. I jumped and froze.

He smiled before saying, “Don’t be scared. Why you out here all alone?”

I gave him a half smile and rubbed my shoulders. “Couldn’t sleep. What about you?”

“Couldn’t sleep, either. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown,” he said before offering me his cigar.

“No, thank you.”

“Rich know you out here?”

I ain’t know how to answer that cuz I ain’t know what Smurf was getting at.

“Miss KiKi, you know, I remember you, right?” he said with a huge smile.

I shook my head. Not this tonight. Not on top of all this other shit.

“You came to my house before in Upper Marlboro…years ago.”

“Nope. Wasn’t me.”

He snorted and took another pull from his cigar. “That’s what your mouth say…but I’ll leave it at that if that’s what you want.”

Thank God. I told him good night, and he gave me a gentle salute. I couldn’t believe he remembered me after all this time. I felt like my past was catching up with me at the worst time ever. Not when somebody loved me for me and not for how I made them cum. I walked back to our cottage, stripped naked, and climbed in our soft bed. I wrapped my arms around Rich, pressing my breasts against his solid back. Even if he ain’t hold me back, I wasn’t letting go.

I woke up with him pushing deep inside of me, wondering how he found it in his heart to forgive me. But when he was done, he ain’t kiss me. He simply climbed off and went straight to the shower. I felt like shit. Later at breakfast, I ain’t feel no better. Ty gave me the eye, like “yeah, I told my man about your trick ass,” and Smurf gave me the eye, like “you know I know that was you at my house.” I ain’t wanna look up from my plate no more. Hell, I ain’t wanna look at nobody no more. As beautiful as Costa Rica was, I ain’t wanna be there. After breakfast, all the guys was getting ready to go for a ride to a tiny island on a fishing boat. When I ain’t see them taking fishing gear, it ain’t take a genius to know it had something to do with some bricks. I had noticed the little petite airplanes that kept buzzing by while we was on our safari and wondered if one was meeting them on that tiny island they was headed to.

All the girls wanted to head to San José again to go shopping. Even though I ain’t wanna go with these fake-ass broads, I definitely ain’t wanna be stranded at the villa all day lying out on the beach. Thank God, Rich left me some money to buy some souvenirs and stuff, but he ain’t even kiss me good-bye when him and the fellas left on the fishing boat.

Me and the girls caught a shuttle to Avenida Central so we could walk around the market and buy some things to bring home. Smurf’s three Costa Rican girls (who the rest of us called the triplets)—Malia, Caterina, and Adriana—was leading the way. I stayed to myself since I ain’t feel like I had much in common with the other chicks. One seemed okay, I guess. Ed’s girl, Nakeeda, had graduated from Roosevelt in D.C. but went to Temple University in Philly. The other girls wasn’t truly from D.C. Donte’s girl, Yenee, was Ethiopian, and Ty’s girl, Jacylyn, was from the suburbs in Montgomery County some damn where. She kept correcting everybody who called her Jacqueline by mistake. Her and Yenee was more stuck up than Toya’s ass ever could be.

The downtown scene was pretty busy. You could smell charbroiled chicken, corn on the cob, and potatoes. Strong peppers and seasonings filled the air. Costa Rican people tried to sell everything for “bargain prices,” but I only bought a couple things. Some coffee and a cute dress for Mommy, a necklace with matching earrings for Yodi, and even a set for Toya’s bourgie ass. I bought some Costa Rican rum for Peaches and Meeka and a flask with the symbol from the Costa Rican flag etched on it for Rich. After everybody finished shopping, we went to a tiny restaurant for lunch and ate something called arroz con pollo, but just tasted like good-ass chicken with rice and beans.

Since the guys was still gone on their “fishing excursion” by the time we got back to the villa, we all agreed to get dressed and head back to the city so we could see some of the nightlife. I put on a lime-green maxi dress I actually found at BCBG and some fabulous gold heels that made my legs look like I borrowed Amerie’s. After adding my accessories and grabbing my clutch, I headed to Nakeeda’s tree house to see if she was ready. She was stepping out just as I got close. She ain’t look bad in her turquoise dress from last season’s Zara collection.

“You look cute,” she said to me.

“Thanks. So do you,” I said, fanning a colossal mosquito away and doing a two-step to dodge his ass.

She giggled and helped me get away.

“Girl, these bugs love my AB positive,” I said, walking fast.

We headed to where we planned to meet the other girls. When they came, we all piled in a shuttle van back to the city. We stopped at Castro’s. Smurf’s triplets said we had to go cuz that’s where you see the true salsa and merengue dancing. We could hear the trumpets, trombones, congas, and cowbells as soon as we pulled up to the door. A live band was doing they thing and I loved live music, so I was psyched. My hips started to shake just like I was at a Go Go. I couldn’t wait to get inside.

We ordered two rounds of shots of Patrón before Nakeeda and Yenee grabbed my hand, cha-cha-ing to the dance floor. It was so much fun, seemed like everybody was celebrating their birthday. Even me. I nearly forgot about the drama that went down between me and Rich, I was partying so hard. Later when the DJ played Daddy Yankee, it seemed like the dance floor shrunk two sizes. It got too crowded way too fast. Me and the other girls worked our way back to the bar, where Smurf’s triplets paid for a round of drinks. We all bobbed and swayed to the beat. Before we knew it all of us was back on the overcrowded floor, moving to the wave of the other partygoers, smiling from ear to ear. Soon I was so sweaty my dress stuck to my body like I had jumped in a pool with my clothes still on. I felt tipsy as I bounced with the crowd. Malia passed me and Yenee a drink, and Caterina passed Jacylyn and Nakeeda drinks. It ain’t matter what kind of drink it was. I was so hot that I downed mine in one swallow. The dance floor was way too hot and packed. When I started seeing double, I had to get out of there. Nakeeda, Yenee, and Jacylyn looked just as ready to leave as me. Smurf’s triplets led us out of the club and into a minivan. I fell asleep as soon as I laid on the backseat.

When I cracked opened my eyes, I had no idea where I was. It smelled foul like a stuffed toilet and rotten fish. The room was lit by a small lightbulb hanging from the dingy ceiling. My head throbbed, and when I tried to sit up, I felt a pressure forcing me back down. I knew I had a hangover, but I felt like I had been drugged, too. I rubbed my body and felt relieved that my dress was still on, but where was my clutch and what was the weight around my ankle? From the corner of my eyes, I could see Nakeeda lying next to me. Yenee was on a bed across from me. I could hear weak groans on the other side of a dirty sheet that separated the room like a curtain and raspy voices speaking in Spanish. Again, I tried to sit up. I pushed against whatever force was trying to keep me glued to the sheetless mattress and sat all the way up. I looked down to see a handcuff latched to my ankle and connected to a long chain that led to the bedpost.
What the fuck?
I looked around the room and saw Yenee had a bloody nose. My eyes grew big. Where the hell was we? All I could think about was Rich. I needed him.

“Why can’t you see what I see in you?”

I heard his voice in my head.

I tried to shake Nakeeda, hoping she ain’t get loud when she saw me. When she cracked open her eyes, I whispered, “I don’t know where we at, but we gotta get outta here.”

She wiped her eyes and sat up. When she saw the chain on her ankle, the fear settled in her face the same way mine did.

“What we gon’ do?” she whispered back.

I pointed to Yenee and said, “We gotta wake her up and get outta here.”

“Where’s Jacylyn?”

That’s when it dawned on me.
Oh no.
The groans from the opposite side of the hanging sheet must’ve been her.

“We can’t leave without her,” Nakeeda said.

But nobody was gon’ leave with chains on our legs. I tried to pick up the chain without making noise, and then I slowly folded it up. The key had to be somewhere in the room. Had to be. Tears crawled down my cheeks. I could feel my mascara clumping up. Where was we, and what was happening to us?

“Look who’s up, finally,” said a voice with a rich Spanish accent from over my shoulder.

I froze.

“Venir aquí novia,”
said a fat, oily-haired man with a beard before he yanked Nakeeda up with one hand. She screamed before I heard him slap the shit out of her twice. I closed my eyes, relieved that he ain’t choose me first to do whatever he was doing on the other side of the sheet. I looked around the room for something to hit him with so whenever he did come for me I’d have something for his fat ass. But there was nothing. Just the two filthy mattresses, two gigantic bottles of water, and a large trash can.

I could hear gurgling and groaning. My chest got tight.
What in the fuck was going on?
I looked at the chain on my leg, then picked it up with two hands. Maybe I could choke him with it. Just as the thought entered my mind, I heard chains hitting the floor, and then a skinny man, with a teardrop tattoo and dozens of tattoos snaking his arms, pulled Jacylyn from behind the sheet and then dumped her on the mattress with Yenee. She never looked me in my face, and she was still groaning. He smiled at me, showing two rotten bottom teeth.