Shattered (18 page)

A couple minutes later, I walked out to find Grayson strolling around the living room, looking at my décor, but not saying anything. I wasn't sure what was going through his mind, so I interrupted his thoughts.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

He turned and looked at me with an impassive expression on his face, then held out his hand. "Let's go."

We strolled out hand in hand, down the driveway to a large, black Toyota Tundra with a massive sized boat hooked onto the back. Grayson opened the passenger side door and as I climbed in, I saw Patrick sitting in the back seat. He waved and said a polite hello, which I returned. Grayson climbed in and we drove off. Patrick was quiet, and while he was inked up, his tattoos were much more reserved than Tommy's and Grayson's.

Grayson blasted Nickelback the entire ride there, making no qualms about singing along to the lyrics, while Patrick shocked me by air drumming and singing along to every song. The ride was fun. I had my own personal concert taking place in the truck on the way to Alki Beach, and while I knew the songs, I wasn't screaming along to them like the guys were. I guess years of humming along and low singing had made me a bit self-conscious about yelling along to the lyrics, even if I wanted to.

When we pulled up, I spotted Miranda and Sean sitting on the tailgate of Sean's truck. I jumped out as they walked over to the truck to meet Grayson. The guys, based on appearances alone, looked like they would hit it off. Grayson walked up alongside me, leaned down to hug Miranda, then stuck his hand out for Sean.

"I'm Grayson, man. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm Sean. Nice to meet you too, man."

I smiled at Miranda, seeing that there was no awkwardness between the guys. Grayson asked Miranda and Sean to jump into the truck so he could pull around and get closer to the boat ramp. They hopped into the back and met Patrick, who was very cordial in a subdued sort of way.

Once the guys got the boat into the water and we were all situated, we we're off. I hadn't paid any attention to the fact that there was a boat tower on Grayson's boat. After Grayson suited me with a life vest, he and the guys suited up to do some wake boarding. Patrick took the reins and I watched as Grayson and Sean did front flips into the chilly water that splashed up on me and Miranda, confirming that I had no desire to jump in.

I was amazed at just how good Grayson and Sean both were. They almost looked like professionals. Miranda stood, cheering Sean on, and after seeing Grayson do a series of stunts, I joined in, hooting and hollering for him as we whisked across the frigid waters. Patrick brought the boat to a stop and Grayson quickly changed spots with him. Patrick was just as good, if not better than Grayson. He and Sean moved fluidly throughout the water, never faltering, and drawing quite the crowd out on the shore. The newfound attention gave Sean more of a reason to show off, and after doing a series of flips on his board, Miranda blew kisses to him, making me want to gag.

Grayson stopped the boat and Patrick and Sean climbed back inside. I popped open the cooler that Grayson had packed, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that not only had he had packed enough of everything for everyone, but that it consisted of a full on meal. Grayson sat next to me, our skin touching and, making me jump back from the chill of his skin coming from being in the water. Sean huddled up with Miranda, while Patrick sat quietly near us, by himself. We dug into some of Ada's famous croissants and large bowls of fruit. There were waters, pops, and small, prepackaged coffee bars. I eyed Grayson curiously before he said, "Emily," with a shrug of the shoulder. I smiled, figuring this wasn't all his doing, but thankful for the food nonetheless.

He asked me if I wanted to try wakeboarding, to which I quickly declined. Miranda asked me repeatedly to give it a try with her, and after not wanting to even touch the icy waters below, I definitively answered, "No."

Grayson asked me to come and sit at the back of the boat with him. I was suspicious of his motives, but did it anyway. I should have listened to my intuition because as soon as we made our way back there, he grabbed me and thrust us both into the ice cold waters. It felt like someone had poured gallons of ice over us as we hit the water, and I came up, teeth, chattering, to Grayson's smiling, playful face. I wanted nothing more than to unleash my Irish temper on him, but I found that rather difficult to do with him wrapping me in his arms.

"You're an asshole," I muttered through chattering teeth.

He gripped me even tighter.

"It's just another excuse for me to hold you all day," he whispered in my ear, warming my blood with just the seductive tone of his voice alone.

I turned and splashed some water on him, which he gladly took as payback for taking me into the waters that felt like the arctic tundra. He helped me back onto the boat and into a warm, fluffy towel. We sat huddled together while Sean attempted to teach a very uncoordinated Miranda how to wakeboard. It was more comical than anything else, and after eating shit a few too many times, she finally gave it up.

We sat on the boat, wrapped in towels, laughing and letting the guys get to know one another a little better. As the wind began to pick up, Grayson took my towel off my body, much to my dismay. I eyed him angrily as he slipped back down next to me. He pulled me back into his embrace whispering, "You don't need that when you've got me." I smiled at his words, and leaned my head back onto his tattooed chest, allowing him to engulf me in his arms. He draped the towel over us and I relaxed, savoring the smoothness of his skin touching mine.

Patrick drove the boat back to the shore and Miranda and I jumped out, allowing the guys to do what they needed to do. When the boat was loaded back onto the back of the truck, I hugged Miranda and watched as Grayson and Sean gave each other a hand shake with the guy-hug attached to the end of it. I hugged Miranda and jumped into the truck, freezing now that the sun was starting to set and the chill from the wind was beginning to pick up.

We dropped Patrick off at his house, not far from the Space Needle. He said a low goodbye to me and pat Grayson on the shoulder, saying goodbye before jumping out and running up to his front door. Grayson grabbed my hand with his and placed a light kiss on the top of it. I leaned over to him and smiled, pulling his hand up to my cheek and rubbing it gently across my face. We drove the rest of the way to my house with our fingers intertwined, making easy conversation, and simply basking in the presence of one another.

When we arrived at my townhouse, Grayson jumped out of the truck and ran around to my side to open my door. I led him up to the front door and asked, "Will you stay a while?" He leaned down and kissed my forehead, nodding his head before doing so.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I asked as Grayson took a seat on the couch.

"I'll have a water."

I grabbed him a bottle of water and let him know that I was going to take a quick shower. He nodded his head and turned on the TV, making himself at home on the couch.

I rushed my shower, eager to get back to Grayson, and lazily towel dried my hair. I allowed a few excess drops of water to fall onto my t-shirt, not caring in the least bit. I made my way downstairs, and stopped halfway, watching Grayson walk around the living room, taking in my décor once again. I slowly made my way over to my red accent wall where he was standing, and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"What ya doin'?" I asked softly.

He reached around and grabbed my hand, pulling me in front of him, and holding my back to his chest, lightly placed his chin on the top of my head.

"Just admiring all of this. Did you take these pictures?"

I looked at all of the pictures on my wall and remembered the time frame of each and every one of them. Some had been taken back in college at State, when I was still a novice photography student, and some were taken in my hometown of Bellingham while a few others were taken at some of my favorite spots in Seattle. Most of them were places that reminded me of Colby, and even though I had removed all pictures of the two of us, the locations were places that we'd shared together.

 "Yeah. I took these," I quietly answered.

Grayson stood holding me a little while longer, never saying anything, but finally let out a sigh. I could tell something was on his mind, but I didn't ask. Instead, I loosened his arms around me and led him over to the couch. He sat down first, taking me in his arms, and lying back. We cuddled and watched some show that did little to keep my interest, partly because the show was boring, but mostly because I thinking about Grayson.

"Where are the pictures of your parents?"

I froze for a second, definitely not expecting that question. He tucked a few loose strands of my hair behind my ear.

"I haven't put any up yet."

Truthfully speaking, besides the picture in my office, I only had a small picture of my parents up in my bedroom. Aside from a few pictures of us that had long since been removed, Colby and I only put pictures of places and things up in our house, I looked back at Grayson and found him looking dumfounded, but he said nothing further.

We lay together on the couch, cuddling and watching TV when I felt a nagging feeling begging me to delve more into Grayson's mood.

"Were you wondering about that earlier?" I asked.

"Wondering about what?"

"About my pictures?"

"Yes." I shifted my weight and turned so that I was lying in between his legs, staring up at him. "I'm just wondering why you have your parents tucked away."

I lay quiet for a second, grasping for an answer that wouldn't make me come across as a cruel and heartless bitch. "I just don't want my parents and their deaths staring me in the face every single day."

Grayson shut his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. When he opened them, I could feel the intensity of his deep blue gaze on me more so than I could see it. He didn't frown, but a smile never touched his lips, either.

"Their deaths are a part of your reality, Dallis. You can't hide from them." I shifted once again, only this time I tried to move away from Grayson, but he gripped me tighter and pulled me closer to him.

"I'm not fucking hiding, okay?" I said, growing impatient with him. "I'll deal with it my own way, in my own time."

"That's the thing. You're not dealing with it. You forget that I was, and I
still
am, in your shoes, Dallis."

Grayson's eyes grew fiercer with each passing second, and the look he gave me only made me want to tear into him even more. I found myself panting, angry at the fact that he was lecturing me on how to mourn my parents. "You don't even know the first thing about them, or what I'm going through!" I shouted at him. The atmosphere had turned tense and it felt like the room had gone black with only a spotlight on the two of us, angrily cuddled together on the couch.

"I
don't
know. And when you're ready, you'll tell me. But until then, I'm not going to bury my head in the sand. You need to fucking mourn, Dallis. It's an important step in learning to live again." His voice was low and firm, but through it I could hear and feel his warmth and compassion.

"I
am
mourning."

"No, you aren't. You're masking."

"What the fuck do you know?" I growled.

"I know I'm where you need to be. It's not easy getting there. It sure as hell ain't easy staying there, but you have to mourn and acknowledge your parents. Acknowledge their role in your life, then and now."

"My parents are a part of my life."

"You'd never know it by looking around this place. It's almost like you're trying to forget about them."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Grayson. And you're overstepping your fucking boundaries." My tolerance was beginning to go through the shredder.

"These damn boundaries… they're another part of the problem. How can you open up to someone else with imaginary lines drawn in the sand?" His eyes were brooding at this point, and even though he remained much calmer than me, I could tell he was reaching his breaking point.

It hurt to look at him. It hurt to listen to him. He was incredibly sexy when he was frustrated, but he was speaking a certain level of truth that I wasn't ready to admit to. I breathed a few deep breaths and exhaled roughly, feeling the harsh air pummel through my mouth and my nose. I tried to pull away from Grayson, only to have him tighten his grip on me and hold me closer to him.

"Hey. I'm sorry, Dallis." His face was stained with a look of worry. "I didn't mean to come on so strong. I just want to see you move forward."

I looked him in the eye, my face stoic and flushed with anger. A few seconds later, to keep from saying something that I would truly regret, I threw my head down onto his chest, stowing my rage and keeping the tears at bay. Grayson released one hand from me and used it to lift my chin so that we were once again staring into one another. Anger, lust, and compassion passed through us. As I stared into his eyes, the urge to want to throttle him and accost him with passionate kisses all at once consumed me. He leaned down while also pulling me up, and placed two soft kisses on my lips. On his third move, I intensified the kiss, using it to satisfy my lustful desires as well as pour out my frustrations, which knocked Grayson off guard.

Electricity flashed through me as I watched raw passion flame through Grayson's eyes. I moved up towards him, and he wrapped one arm around me, simultaneously thrusting his other hand into my hair. Our mouths met in the middle, tongues lashing out and into each other, twisting and twirling as we moved. I threw one hand up and into Grayson's hair, tugging as our kiss grew more intense. I wanted to pour every ounce of my anger into him.

Grayson turned me over, placing me down on the couch while he hovered over me. He removed his shirt and through short, quick breaths, I fingered the tattoos on his chest. He smiled at me, then I pulled him back down. Turning my head to the side, I allowed him full access to my neck. He licked roughly and bit gently. Flickers of excitement shot from his spot of attack down to my clit as Grayson expertly worked me. He moved up to my ear every now and then, biting and tugging in the same deliberate way that he had worked my neck. My breathing became heavier and heavier as every lick and bite incited me to give more of myself to him.