Shattered Edge (22 page)

“Yeah,” he said, wiping his face.

“Look, I should probably be going now.” I was suddenly exhausted.

“Where will you go?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll get a motel room up on the interstate somewhere.”

“Stay here.”

As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t.

“Justin, to what end? I have to leave here. I can’t stay. It can be a life or death thing. I’ve already gone through one identity change. I don’t want to have to go through another. It’s awful because you lose yourself, your whole purpose in life. I lost you once and I nearly died of a broken heart. I know I couldn’t survive it a second time.”

“I was thinking about leaving Charleston too. Maybe going out west somewhere. I don’t have a destination in mind. I just want you to stay with me tonight. And then when the morning comes, if we decide that it’s not the right thing, well then you can go your way.”

I looked at him and gave him a half assed smile. “When have we ever
not
been the right thing?”

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

Justin

My mind was reeling with everything she was telling me. At first I thought she was some bullshitting opportunist. She had the facts right, but her appearance was off. There was that something about her though...the sound of her voice, her mannerisms, the way she held her head. Whoever had altered her identity, hadn’t coached her on these things. That’s why I believed her...not because of what she said.

In the beginning, I was numb. Then I held everything in check because all I wanted to do was to grab her into my arms and hold her next to my heart. It was the first time my chest didn’t hurt in eighteen months.  Now I had to convince her that we needed to be together. I wanted to strangle her brother. She defended him. I couldn’t. He had put her at risk and had all but destroyed her in his quest to bring down that fucking cartel. I didn’t give a goddamn about that cartel. I only cared about her. The thought of her coming apart in that mental hospital. Shit...she went through ECT for Christ’s sake. Fuck.

“Caroline...I like that name.”

She looked at me in that way only she could. I saw her throat working as she swallowed.

“Please. One night. It’s all I’ll ask. Then we can decide together.” I watched her eyes as they sparked with hope and then flattened out again. I couldn’t lose her a second time. I just couldn’t. “Please Caroline. I’ll beg if I have to,” I whispered.  I was standing right in front of her and I wasn’t going to touch her but I caught a whiff of her scent...that familiar lavender fragrance that I loved so much. My hand reached out and cupped her cheek and before I knew it, my lips were tasting hers. I groaned into her mouth and slid my other arm around her. She was so small now, I thought to myself, as I pulled her into my body. Her arms went around my waist and hugged me back tightly. I didn’t want the kiss to end, but I wanted her commitment to stay the night.

“Please, Caroline, stay the night. Say you will.”

“Yes, I will.”

Her arms curled around my neck and slid into my hair. “I’ve dreamed about this constantly Justin.”

“Don’t cry sweetheart. Please don’t cry.” I wrapped her in my embrace and lifted her up. Those legs of hers found their way around my waist and I walked us to my bedroom. I had to get into the shower because I was sweaty from my run. Besides, I wanted us both to be cleansed of our memories from the last eighteen months. As I moved past the bed, her voice stopped me.

“Where are you going?”

“To the shower. I just came back from running.”

“Put me down Justin. I like sweaty, remember?”

I let her slide down my body and she had that deep sexy look in her eyes. She grabbed my face and started kissing me again. I stopped her and stepped back for a second as I took off my shirt and shorts. She rewarded me with a smile. Then I moved to her and slowly peeled off her shorts and panties. Next, I lifted the hem of her tank top. She obligingly raised her arms and I pulled her top off, but I didn’t take it off all the way. Instead, I trapped her hands in it, moved it behind her back and left it as such. Then I grabbed the back of her now shorter hair and pulled it down, not hard, but not too gently either, forcing her back to arch, giving me free access to her lovely breasts. I bent my head and teased her nipples with my tongue alternating between the two, listening to her moans. I clamped my mouth down on one, sucking hard, using my teeth and then flicking my tongue across it until she was begging me for more. I repeated the same thing on her other nipple and then I moved down to her ribs, teasing, biting and sucking my way until I hit the apex of her thighs. I placed my hand on her stomach and gently pushed her backwards until the backs of her knees hit the bed. Once there, she sat down and I settled myself between her thighs as I spread her legs. I lowered my head to begin my sweet torture on her inner thighs when something caught my eyes. It was a string of symbols right at the juncture where her leg joined her torso. I looked on the other side, and I spied symbols there as well. They were tattooed into her tender flesh in black, like dark inky brands.

I looked at her with a question in my eyes.

She cleared her throat once, then twice, then she pointed to her left leg and whispered, “They’re Japanese symbols. This one means, ‘My heart, my soul,’ and this side,” now she pointed to the other leg, “says, ‘forever yours Justin.’”

I inhaled and swallowed through the thickness that had formed in my throat. I took my hands and wrapped them both around her thighs and I rubbed those symbols gently with my thumbs as I loved her with my eyes. Then I dipped my head and traced them with my tongue. I moved my mouth down the inside of her thighs, nibbling and sucking, because I knew exactly how sensitive she is here.

By now she was calling my name so I sat back on my heels and watched her face as I touched her sex. “Sweet God, you’re so wet for me Caroline.” I was sure she thought I was going to
screw up and call her something else, but I wanted this to be perfect. I slid one, then two fingers inside of her. She was watching me with half closed lids and moaning. Her lower lip was between her teeth and I knew...I could tell she was almost to the point of orgasm. I wanted to drag this one out for as long as I could. So, I pulled my fingers out of her and kissed her lips, pulling that lower one into my mouth and sucking on it. Then I put my fingers in her mouth and said, “This is what I’ve been missing for eighteen months. God, I’ve missed you so much.” I watched as her eyes widened. I lowered my head again to her sex and ran my tongue up and down her and listened to those sweet sexy sounds she made. The muscles in her legs began to clench, so I stopped again and sat back to look at her face. Her head was thrown back, but she opened her eyes to see what was happening. I just smiled, right before I put my fingers on her again and heard her gasp as I slid them into her.

“Oh God Justin. I want to touch you,” she cried out. She couldn’t though, because her hands were still trapped in her tank top behind her back.

“Not yet baby.” I took my thumb and pressed on her little nub and she sucked in her breath. I felt her muscles clench so I stopped.

“Ah, you’re teasing me so,” she protested.

“I know. I want this one to be memorable.

“They’re all memorable with you!” she insisted.

Oh, but not like this one honey. I bent my head and blew across her wetness and she sighed. “You’re so beautiful down here Caroline.” I licked her again and then blew. Lick, then blew. Then I circled my tongue around her tiny nub, faster, then slowly. Next, I slid my fingers back into her. She was writhing now and I could feel her almost start to come. I stopped.

“No!” she cried.

I leaned across her and kissed her.

“Oh yes, sweetheart. Just wait. I promise it’ll be so worth it.”

  Now was the time, she was so aroused. I looked at her nipples and they were so erect. Her body was flushed, she was panting and her sex was swollen. I bent my head to her and ran my tongue along her once, twice and then I leaned back and used my hand. I placed the pad of my thumb on her most sensitive spot, put my fingers inside of her and began to move to a rhythm and she started screaming my name, climaxing...and climaxing. It was epic. Her thighs clamped around my hand and I had never seen anything like it. When her spasms finally passed, she was breathless and so was I from just witnessing this thing of beauty.

She was limp. I smiled because my mission was accomplished. Well, half of it anyway. I wanted her to leave here in the morning with her body and mind humming with sexual energy. I let her lay there for a few minutes, but not too long.

Then I pulled her up to a sitting position and finished removing her tank top. Her hands were on me like lightening. My face, my lips, my neck, my chest, my abs, my hips and then she stopped and just stared at me. She didn’t have to say a word. Her eyes spoke a thousand of them all at one time. My heart clenched as she stared at me.

The water dropped over the edges of her lids then, and I watched it tumble down the curves of her cheeks. It splashed onto her chest and I dipped my head to kiss it away.

“No more tears baby.”

Her hand reached down between us and she took my length into it as I groaned.

“I want to feel you inside of me Justin. I want you to make love to me. Now.”

I spun around and sat on the edge of the bed. I pulled her into my lap, letting her straddle me. She guided me into her opening and I held her face as she slowly took all of me inside of her.

“Ah honey, you’re so tight and wet.”

“I need to go slow Justin. I’m...um...I’m not used to this. It’s been so long.”

I groaned and said, “Oh baby, neither am I. I haven’t been with anyone since you.” Then I kissed her as she slowly moved up and down on me.

“Oh God, you’re so beautiful.  I need to feel your arms around me baby.” She held me closely. And then I spoke the words out loud. “It’s all the same Caroline. You may have a different name and you may look a little different, but it’s all the same. The way you smell, they way you taste, the sounds you make, the way you feel inside, the way you move, the way you love me. It’s all the same. God I’ve missed you.” And I kissed her as we both came.

When it was over, we just sat together, locked in each other’s arms,   unwilling to move. I was the one who broke first.

“I thought this might be difficult or even awkward, but it isn’t. Hmm, Caroline. I like the way it feels on my tongue. Of course, I’ve always
loved the way
you
feel on my tongue. The new you is perfect. Just like the old was. I love you Caroline. I don’t want you to go. I know you can’t stay here, but here’s the thing. I don’t want to stay here either. This girl I knew named Terri died, and when she did, so did I. So I was putting into motion a plan to move out of Charleston. I was thinking about Seattle or somewhere out west...maybe Denver. My mind is open right now. I’ve talked to my family and they don’t like it, but they understand. I haven’t been myself for eighteen months. I won’t ever be again here. So what do you say? You up for a move?”

I’d always loved putting a smile on my girl’s face, but this one was the best.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I’ll show you some stuff I’ve got just to prove how serious. I’ve even made some contacts about jobs. But first,” I stood up with her in my arms and me inside of her, “I want to take that shower now. You up for that?”

“I think I could go for a good scrub down. I have this one spot that may need some extra attention. I think I may have gotten it a little dirty today. You see, I have this boyfriend who did these awful things to me...”

I caught her lips with mine before she could finish.

CHAPTER THIRTY

Caroline

I was on I-40 headed west. Justin and I would rendezvous in Phoenix. We’d stay there for two weeks, because the thought of being away from each other for more than a month was killing us. Then he would head out to Salt Lake City and I would continue on to Los Angeles.  He was going to spend a few weeks in SLC and then Seattle would be our final destination. I would get there first and start a job hunt.

I had found a place to live and he was going to be moving into the same condominium building. It looked like an awesome place...walking distance to everything. I would reserve judgment on how cool it really was until I lived there for a while.

He didn’t want to buy anything until he had a feel for the place. He’d lived in Seattle for six years when he did his residency and fellowship so he knew a fair amount about it. He’d suggested this area so that how we ended up here.

I needed to get furniture and lots of other things because I didn’t own a damned thing. Preston was arriving today to help me move in. I was excited to see him and I really wanted the two of them to get along. Justin had issues with him, but they would have to work them out.

Preston had agreed that we had a sound plan. We were going to have a “chance” meeting as neighbors. Invite each other over, that sort of thing and then progress into a full blown relationship. Preston would have to be a separate part of my life from Justin’s family. I couldn’t introduce him as my brother to anyone, so he was now a former coworker from back East.

We would always be sure the paths of Preston, my mom and the Middletons would never cross. That would never be possible. Ever. Justin knew that.

Preston and I went shopping and I purchased a bed and sofa, as well as a chest of drawers, desk, dining table, four chairs and two bar stools. I also stocked my kitchen with the basic necessities.

“I think I went overboard,” I told him. “I slept on a couch most of the time I spent at EPIC.”

He rolled his eyes. “I remember.” He hugged me. Hard. “I owe you. Hell Caroline, I won’t ever be able to pay you for the fucking hit you took because of me. I totally screwed up your beautiful life...all because of my goddamn profession.”

I gaped. It was the first time he’d ever been so open about this.

“Well, it’s going to end well.” I smiled and winked at him.

“At what cost? Justin had to leave his home, his family. Both of you...what you went through. Christ Caroline, I thought you weren’t gonna make it. I really did. I questioned whether it would’ve been better to have shot you instead when I saw what you went through.” He scrubbed his face. “And then I kept thinking about what Justin was going through, wondering if he was doing the same thing. Fuck. I wanted to blow those bastards away. I could barely keep up my cover at the time.”

I hugged myself. I found I had no argument for anything he’d said.

“Fucking government won’t even pay you what they owe you afterward. You bring down the biggest cartel. Your intel is responsible for the largest drug bust in the history of this nation, and those fuckers won’t even compensate you. You gave up your
whole damn life for them and they won’t even goddamn recognize you with a little money.”

“Blah. Government. They’re too big to do any good any more. They have their noses where they shouldn’t be and don’t have them where they should. Let’s not talk about the fucking government. I don’t want to waste my time with you talking about them.”

“Yeah. You’re right. Are you hungry?”

“Starved.”

“Let’s go eat.”

One thing Seattle wasn’t short on was great coffee joints and great restaurants. We grabbed some dinner at a awesome seafood place and came home and drank a bottle of wine and chatted.

“Can I just say Preston, I’m so fucking glad you’re not a drug addict.”

We laughed. “Me too. That shit was getting so old, shooting up saline. My arms got so
damn sore. And then I’d have to pretend I was hunting needles. I’d have fresh ones hidden, but no one could know, so I’d be on these crazy ass needle rampages all the time. And living in filth. It was nasty.

I had to ask. I’d always wanted to, but we never talked about it. My voice dropped and I said, “Preston, tell me about prison.”

“No.”

“I was...”

“Caroline, look. It was bad. Awful. Horrible. I try to put it out of my mind. But it’s impossible. It won’t ever go away. Most guys that go in have a past...a record. I didn’t so I had to take it on the chin and fight my ass off. I was in the infirmary a lot. I’ll give you this pass this one time. Don’t ever ask me about it again.”

“Fuck Preston. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged and asked, “You got any liquor?”

“Yeah. Over there.” I pointed to a cabinet.

He pulled out a bottle of bourbon and poured some into a glass and drank it straight down. He stood by the bar with his back to me and I could sense the war that raged within him.

I walked up to him and put my arms around him from behind. He flinched at first, but then relaxed. “Life’s a bastard, isn’t it?”

“It sure has been to us.”

He put his arms on mine and hugged me.

“Well, I think I’m gonna crash.”

“Me too. You have any extra blankets?”

“You bet.” I pulled the new ones out of the bags we bought today. “Sorry they haven’t been washed yet.”

“Are you serious? This is heaven compared to some of the shit I’ve slept on.”

“Good night Preston. Thanks for everything today.”

“Hey, I’m glad to be here Caroline.” He winked and I shook my head. I’d never get used to being Caroline.

********

Two weeks later, I “bumped” into my sexy new neighbor when we both walked outside on our way to get some coffee. It just so happened we were both headed to the same place. And we had something else in common. We’d both just moved here. His name was Justin Middleton and he was an orthopedic surgeon specializing in repairing shattered bones of all kinds, mainly accident victims.

  Tall, dark and unbelievably hot, he smiled and I was smitten. Exactly like the first time. I invited him over for dinner the next night. He asked what I did and I told him I was a freelance research analyst. I was currently looking for work, so if he knew of anyone needing someone, I was available. He winked and I winked back. And so it went...the second time around. I think I can safely say for the both of us that we enjoyed it every bit as much as the first time.