Shattered Heart (The Hart Series) (21 page)

I
bring her in for a hug and Janice clings to my waist with a burst of energy. 
“Janice, breathe through it.  Come here.  It’ll be okay.”  Even though I don’t
promise, I hope she knows it was inferred.  There are certain people in this
world who do not deserve to be in this pain.  Janice is one of them. 

“I
hate him, Ely.  I can’t believe he did this to me.  After everything?!”  I rub
her back and allow her to cry on my shoulder, but when the body shakes start, I
hold her even closer. 

“Janice…is
everything okay?”  I’d know his voice anywhere and apparently Janice does too. 
Her violent sobs stop almost immediately, her spine straightens when the words
leave his mouth.  Breaking away, she avoids looking at him as she runs a tissue
under her eyes before turning to face him.  I, on the other hand, stiffen and
keep my back to him.

“Yes,
Mr. James.  I’m sorry…”  Janice fidgets with her office supplies.

“Get
your stuff and go home, Janice.”  His words are forceful, yet his tone is full
of sympathy, and I can only imagine the expression on his face.  Alex has dealt
with a crying female a time or two and every time he was comforting and
empathetic.  “Go take care of…things.  Just forward my calls to voicemail and
put your out-of-office on.”

“Don’t
worry about it.  I’m fine.  There’s no need…”  Janice sniffles as she runs her
hands over the skirt of her dress.

“Don’t
be ridiculous.  I’m not going to make you stay here while you’re obviously
upset.  Take the rest of the day and take care of yourself.”  Janice turns to
face him, her face in complete shock as she shows the emotion she’s been trying
to hide from him. 

It’s
a sweet gesture actually and shows the true Alex: a man who takes care of those
close to him.  Although Janice may not consider herself to be in that circle,
she’s probably not aware that Alex doesn’t have too many people in his life. 
And she is most definitely a vital part of him being who he is.  Something
passes through them and it’s at this point I think she’s realizing her worth. 
They take care of each other.  I smile at Janice as she gather’s her purse and
continues to thank Alex profusely. 

My
focus on Janice has given me the strength to avoid looking in his direction.  I
guess it would make me a bad friend if I perused my ex in her time of need, but
I will say I’m pretty damn proud of myself.  For someone who’s not been in my
shoes, they may not know the amount of resolve it takes to ignore your body
when it’s surrounded in temptation. 

That
is, until I hear the shrill voice of the banshee coming towards us.

“Oh
Alex, there you are,” she shrieks.  Imperceptibly, I notice Alex straighten a
little taller and wonder why.  But then again, it is Arianna.  No matter who
she’s around, the need to be at attention surrounds you.  When she continues, I
cringe.  “I’m actually running late for a lunch meeting and have seemed to have
lost track of my appointments today.  Can you take Sandy to lunch by yourself?”

Okay,
so in general a work lunch wouldn’t be any more suspicious than if Janice and I
were to have lunch.  And normally, I would avoid Arianna like the plague, but the
sadist in me turns to look at the spectacle in front of me.  I know in my gut
that she’s doing this on purpose.

Standing
next to Arianna is a tall blonde woman with legs for days.  She’s curvy,
perfect glowing skin, and absolutely beautiful.  Her apple shaped face is
flawless with her prominent cheek bones, full lips, and large blues eyes.  Did
I mention that she’s also beaming at Alex?  It takes a moment for my brain to
register and my eyes travel from Alex, to Arianna, to Sandy.  Alex looks calm
on the outside, but I can tell he’s agitated when his jaw jerks as he grinds
his teeth.  Arianna looks nothing but the soulless succubus that she is.  She
glances in my direction with a devilish grin.

“Oh
Elyssa, I didn’t notice you standing there.”  Arianna extends her hand in my
direction as she looks at Sandy.  “Elyssa Hart, Sandra Tanner.  Sandra is an
old friend of mine.  She’s actually the person who
introduced
me to
Alex.”  Bile rises in my throat with the way Arianna annunciates the word
“introduced.”  My mouth drops in utter disbelief.  

This
is the bitch that introduced him to Arianna, which means she used to be one of
his clients.  Alex has had sex with this woman and now she’s standing in front
of his knocked-up ex-girlfriend with her large fucking eyes and perfect fucking
lips smiling at him as if she’s waiting for him to slip it in.

Arianna
is overjoyed at the awkwardness.  I close my mouth quickly and shake off the
initial shock, refusing to give her the satisfaction of knowing how much this
affects me.  I extend my hand and put on the best act possible, even though
mentally I’m poking her eyes out.

“Nice
to meet you, Mrs. Tanner.”  Her hands are soft, yet her grip is firm.  Her eyes
study me as she purses her lips while we remain clasped together.  Mentally I’m
competing with her, wondering if Alex prefers her to me.  I know this is a
horrible time to feel insecure, but it’s almost impossible when you’re
sandwiched between two women who know your man intimately.  Well, ex-man. 

“You
as well.”  I can’t tell if her smile is genuine or if she is just polite out of
common courtesy.  Either way, I definitely don’t trust her and I can’t stomach
the way she’s looking at him.  She turns to Alex and grabs his elbow.  “Well, I
guess it’s just you and me, Calvin.  Ready to go?” 
Wait, Calvin?  Where
have I heard that before? 

Because
they are almost the same height, with heels on, she smiles brightly while
looking into his cloudy eyes.  I study them and once again feel a pang of
jealousy; they seem perfect for each other.  I guess Alex didn’t have it so bad
when he was pimping himself out.  If all of his clients were this attractive,
he was basically reaping the advantage of not only having sex with hot women,
but also making massive amounts of money. 
Not to mention, he also got tons
of practice, leading to his sex God status.

Before
he answers, his blue irises soften and our eyes meet.  I plead with him in my
mind and with my eyes; I beg him not to go.  I have no right to him and I have
no say in his actions, but in this moment I want him to pick me.  I want him to
pick our unborn child and stay for us. 
God, I’m a hypocritical idiot
. 

It’s
only a few seconds, but his eyes survey me, taking me in.  But, like my life,
our moment passes and Alex makes a decision and nods as he walks away with her
draped on his arm.  I swallow back the choking sensation and continue to stare
at their backs as they walk away. 

In
a trance, I don’t notice Arianna as she comes to stand next to me.  She crosses
her arms over her chest and joins me as I stare at Alex’s retreating form.

“She’s
not as old as you thought she was, huh?”  Why I answer, I’m not sure, but I
shake my head while she chuckles.  “She used to be a model.  That’s how she met
her husband.” 
Figures!
 

“I’m
glad she’s looking to do business with us.  You know what that means right?”  I
turn to her, disgust on my face, and wait for her to enlighten me.  She doesn’t
deserve my words.  “She and Alex will be spending a lot of time together.  You
know how that works…late nights…dinners…weekends.  Who knows how long it will
take to come to an agreement on this deal?  Alex may need to persuade her…” 

I
shake my head, pushing the images out of my mind.  The last thing I need is to
picture Alex reverting back to his old ways.  Then it hits me. 
Calvin.
 
The video that Arianna showed me, the blonde was calling Alex, Calvin.  My
inner green eyed monster is ripping my insides to shreds hoping to break free. 
I focus on taking even breaths.  Alex has come so far, there’s no possible way
he would go back to sleeping around. 

Arianna
continues her ramblings, but I block her out and decide to interrupt her. 
“Well, I’m glad you’re getting more business.  If you’ll excuse me,” I push
past her, plastering a fake smile and go back to find Janice standing in
complete shock with her purse dangling over her shoulder.

Janice
watches as Arianna sashays away.  “Ely, what’s going on?” 

“Alex
is taking a client to lunch.” 
A client that he has personal knowledge of
the sounds she makes when they make love.  No!  Not making love.  Fucking. 

“Why
do you look as if someone just punched you in the gut?” 
Because I’m
pregnant.  Because the man that I love just left with his ex-mistress.  Because
Arianna like’s to slowly torture me and is trying her damndest to make me
insane.  Take your pick.

I
try to give her a reassuring smile instead of adding to her already shitty
day.  “Because guys suck.”

“I
say we have a girl’s night out tomorrow after work.  Screw the guys!  We’ll go
out and find ourselves new ones!”  This is the first glimpse I’ve had of my
usual bright-eyed friend.  How can I resist anything that makes her this happy?

Trevor
did give me that flyer for the event he was promoting.  On one hand I would be
consoling my friend in her time of heartache and on the other hand I’d be
supporting my friend in his career.  It wouldn’t hurt to go and kill two birds
with one stone. 

Settled,
I let her know about the club.  “My friend actually gave me a flyer for a
girl’s night at one of the clubs he works at.  We get in free and it’s an
entire event apparently.”

Janice
lights up, “I’m in.” 

“So
am I!”  I didn’t notice Autumn until it was too late.  She’s sitting on the
edge of Janice’s desk, looking between the two of us.  I told you she might be
a witch.  She shows up at the tail end of conversations, never minding her own
business.  Why I put up with it, or why any of us put up with it, is beyond
me.  She’s not even that nice. 

“You
want to come…with us?”  I try not to sound too incredulous.  We haven’t had
much luck going out as a threesome.  Actually, the last time we all went
together, Janice ended up taking a drunk Autumn home and leaving me to fend for
myself at the bar.  I guess I shouldn’t complain.  It ended up being a blessing;
the first time I was alone with Alex. 
Blessing or curse…you decide.

“Why
not?  It’ll be fun.”  Autumn’s excitement actually seems genuine.  Janice
shrugs and we all agree to head out around nine o’clock.  That would give us
plenty of time to head home after work and get ready.  I agree to be the
designated driver, for obvious reasons.  Autumn disappears as I bring Janice in
for one last hug.  I tell her if she needs anything to call, push her towards
the elevators and head back to my desk.

I’m
not sure who has it worse.  Janice gets to go home and lick her wounds, while I
get to stay at work and pretend to have my mind focused, when in reality all I
can think about is Alex on his lunch date. 

I
grip the sides of my head, hoping to compress my thoughts.  God, they looked
perfect together.  Technically she had him first, I can’t even claim dibs on
him based on seniority. 

I’m
nauseated and in this case I don’t think it has anything to do with morning
sickness.

~~~~~

I’ve
had three meetings, lunch, and an enrollment presentation since Alex left this
morning for his so-called lunch meeting.  I’ve gone through hours of worrying,
biting my nails, picking at my cuticles, thinking of what Alex.  And the only
thoughts I’m definitely committing to is that I’m in desperate need of a
manicure.

I’ve
sent nine text messages and haven’t received one response.  I scroll through my
phone reading them over, wondering if I got my point across. 

**Long
lunch?**

Completely
innocent.

**I
can’t believe you would go to lunch with one of your ex-‘clients’**

Slightly
irritated.

**How
are your business transactions going?**

A
hint of sarcasm.

**Don’t
you feel cheap?  She buys you lunch and gets what in return?**

Ok,
that was a low blow.

**Why
aren’t you responding?**

Desperate.

**Shouldn’t
you be back by now?**

Bossy.

**I
thought you were over with this part of your life?!**

Reaching
for something to hold onto.

**What
happened to the Alex I used to know?**

Realization
that he no longer belongs to me settling in.

Okay,
so this wasn’t my most glorious moment, I’ll admit.  But I was seeing red.  My
chest felt tight and I wanted to go somewhere and scream to let out all of my
aggression, but instead I chose to verbally assault him via text message.  I’m
going to blame my verbal diarrhea completely on my pregnancy hormones.  In all
reality the texts could have been worse; I didn’t even drop the f-bomb once.

By
the time I head home my heart feels heavy with betrayal and pain.  Considering
I’ve done nothing but continuously push Alex away, I’m very aware my feelings
are irrational.  I know most women would probably punch me in the throat for
even breaking up with him in the first place.  But if they could understand
that my leaving him was a selfless act, they’d know how much I do cherish him,
which is why this situation is heart-stompingly unbearable for me.