She Died Too Young (5 page)

Chelsea put down Lacey’s letter when she finished reading it aloud to Katie and said, “Do you notice anything different about Lacey?”

Katie shrugged. “Sounds like our same old friend to me … refusing to deal with reality.”

“I think she sounds desperate.”

“If you mean about her parents—”

Chelsea fluttered her fingers impatiently. “More than her parents. It’s like everything in her life is falling apart.”

“You got
that
out of this letter?”

“I’m reading between the lines. I think she’s in bad shape. Sure, in the letter she comes across as only annoyed, but I’m telling you, it goes deeper than that.” Chelsea stabbed at the paper with her finger. “There’s an unwritten volume here about ‘perfection’ and ‘social acceptance.’ And what about this Todd guy? Since when has Lacey let on that any guy appeals to her?”

Katie shook her head. “You’re the one with the ESP, Chelsea, so if you say so, I believe you. But so what if it’s true? What can we do about it? Until Lacey wants to face reality, how can anyone help her?”

“Jeff could help, if she’d let him. The guy is crazy about her.”

“Forget it. I fought that battle all summer. Trying to run interference between Jeff and Lacey and Amanda almost did me in.”

“But Amanda’s gone now,” Chelsea said quietly.

The cold reality of that sad fact couldn’t be forgotten. All at once, Katie jumped up. “I’ve got to go. Josh is dropping me by the UM library so that I can work on my lit paper.”

“Is he getting used to your studying so much with Garrison?”

“Hardly,” Katie said, pulling Chelsea’s brush through her thick black hair. “But the whole thing is harmless, so Josh is just being paranoid for no reason.”

“No reason?” Chelsea asked.

Katie felt self-conscious and turned away from Chelsea. “Now, don’t go trying to psychoanalyze me the way you do everybody else. There’s nothing to analyze.”

Chelsea arched her eyebrow. “Really? So, then why is your face turning red?”

“I could wait out here in the parking lot for you to finish,” Josh said, pulling his car to a halt in the lot nearest the University of Michigan’s gigantic library.

“It’s cold out here. You’ll freeze.” Katie gathered her books and prepared to get out of the car.

“How much longer before you finish this paper anyway?”

“Another few weeks. The basic research is almost over, then we’ll just have to write the thing.” She kept her voice light, as if the process were an annoyance. In truth, the paper was driving her nuts. Not the paper. Spending so much time with Garrison.

She reached for the door handle. “Look, I’ll call you the minute I get home tonight.”

“Garrison taking you home?”

“What do you expect me to do. Josh? Call a cab?” She could tell that her retort stung him, so she tried a different tack. “Josh, you know how much I want to qualify for a track scholarship, but running isn’t enough to get me one like it once might have done. Coaches want competitive runners, but they also want good students. I lost a whole year of my life with my operation and all. I’m not the best anymore out on the track.”

“You’re still good, Katie. I know how hard you train. By this spring when track season starts, you’ll be unbeatable.”

“You have more faith in me than I do,” she said with a laugh. She sobered and with intensity added, “I want good grades. I want to
earn
that scholarship. Acing honors English would mean a lot to me. It’s a top priority in my life right now.”

“There was a time when I was a top priority in your life,” Josh said softly.

Guilt tore at her. Still, she clenched her teeth and tried not to overreact. “You still are.”

“But not quite as high as studying with Garrison.”

“It bothers me when you don’t trust me.”

“Garrison bothers
me
. He’s cocky and a show-off, and I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“This conversation is silly, and it’s going no place.” Katie jerked open the door. “I’ll call you later.” She slammed the door and hurried up the sidewalk. She heard Josh gun the engine and squeal out of the parking lot. The smell of burned rubber hung in the night air. She sagged on the steps of the brightly lit library, torn between going in and facing Garrison and going to a pay phone and calling Josh to come back for her.

Then, remembering what she’d told Josh about the importance of her grades, Katie gathered her ragged emotions and went inside. She found Garrison on the fourth floor, back in a corner near a window. He waved as she approached. “You look unhappy,” Garrison said.

The last thing she wanted was for him to suspect that there was tension between her and Josh. “It’s been a long day,” she replied, dumping her books and taking the chair across from his.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

He shrugged and turned an open magazine toward her. “I think this article is good. It discusses Iago’s lack of motivation for hating Othello, and this scholar thinks it weakens Shakespeare’s whole play. Without motivation, Iago’s hatred seems pointless.”

She tried to focus on what Garrison was telling her. He was a brilliant thinker and as intent on
scoring big on this paper as she was. He’d told her he was aiming for entering Harvard and after earning an undergraduate degree there would apply to the law school. “I guess motives count,” Katie said.

She hated it when he looked at her as if he could see inside her thoughts. “Did you have words with the boyfriend?” he asked.

She bristled. “Why would you assume Josh and I are having problems? There’s nothing wrong between us.”

A sly smile flicked the corners of Garrison’s mouth. “You’re a lousy liar, Katie.”

Flustered, she stood and, without meaning to, tipped her chair over. “You have no right—”

He was beside her in an instant, took her hands in his, and tugged her toward him. “Calm down before they throw us out. Come on. I’ll take you to the student union and buy you a soda.” He began to lead her to the interior lobby and elevators.

“But our books and stuff—”

“Will be fine till we get back.”

She said nothing, allowing him to take her out of the main entrance and into the night. I
shouldn’t go
, she told herself. For weeks, he’d treated her with friendly indifference—ever since the time she’d insisted she had a boyfriend and he’d acted surprised that she’d think he’d move in on her. She’d seen him with other girls around school. Part of her had been glad. But another part of her had reacted.

Garrison drove to the student union without a word, and once they were inside the room where
students gathered for coffee and visiting, he found them a booth, brought back two colas and an order of fries, and sat down next to her.

She moved into the corner because his thigh was touching hers. He jabbed his straw into his cup, turned to her, and said, “So, what’s going on, Katie? What’s got you so wound up?”

W
ITHOUT WARNING, TEARS
filled Katie’s eyes. Garrison didn’t say a word, only handed her a napkin. She dabbed at the moisture, hating herself for allowing Garrison to see her in such a state of muddled confusion. “I have a lot of pressure on me,” she said lamely.

“But your boyfriend is a part of it, isn’t he? He doesn’t like us spending so much time together.”

She peered at Garrison, and something in his expression told her more was going on than he was telling her. “Has Josh said something to you?”

“He cornered me in the gym the other day. He said some things. Made some suggestions about what might happen if I didn’t butt out of your life.”

“What things?” Katie felt shocked and mortified.
This wasn’t like Josh at all. Josh was kind and sweet. He wouldn’t threaten anyone.

“Look, Katie, it was just between us guys. Don’t worry. I wasn’t intimidated.”

“If things were said about me, then it’s between all of us. I can’t believe what you’re telling me.”

Garrison’s hand reached out and closed over hers. “He’s in love, Katie. I understand why he said what he did. How long have the two of you been involved anyway?”

Josh had no right to manipulate her life this way. No right to decide who she could see or not see. Suddenly, her pounding heart reminded her of Josh’s role in her life. Fresh tears pooled in her eyes.

“Katie,” Garrison whispered. “Please tell me what’s going on. I think I have the right to know.”

She told him the story, haltingly at first, then with more intensity. She told him about her illness and her need for a transplant, about Aaron’s death and how Josh had figured out who’d received his brother’s heart. She told him about Gramps, Josh’s alcoholic parents, her own parents’ affection for Josh. She told him about the Transplant Games and her footrace and Josh’s role in her training. She finished with her hopes of a track scholarship and even a mention of Chelsea and how Katie needed to be there for her friend as she faced a similar transplant procedure.

When she was finished, she leaned back in the booth, drained, but also purged. It had felt good to unburden herself. Garrison’s intense gaze never
left her face, and for a moment she thought she might drown in the depths of his incredible brown eyes. “Well, I’ll have to admit, Katie, I’ve never heard anything like this before in my life.”

“It isn’t something you walk around talking about. There are kids at school who know the basic facts, but they have their own lives to live, so no one thinks about me and my problems. Besides, I’ve never wanted anyone gossiping about me.

“It explains why Josh is so protective of you. There’s
you
, of course. But there’s also a piece of his brother living inside you.”