She's Only Seventeen: A Novel of Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll (10 page)

“Kat, seriously, I don’t even know what happened, I just woke up and she was there!”

“Please let’s not talk about this now,” I said calmly.

“Then when are we going to talk about it?” he yelled as heads peeped up around us.

That got my attention. I grabbed his arm and led him out to the backyard.

“Kat, please,” he begged, “please believe me”

He got on his knees as he grabbed my arm and begged me again to forgive him and forget what happened. He had gone too far; for my anger was rising and my patience with him wearing thin. Wordlessly, I took off my engagement ring and threw it at the ground in front of him.

Without a sound, he picked up it up, got up and proceeded to walk inside to his room. A couple minutes later the blonde came out, smiled at us all and left. Drew locked the door. I guess he needed to be left alone, and alone is where I would leave him.

The blondes name turned out to be Tammy. She was in town for a couple of weeks trying out for a modeling agency. Drew was still in the room when I left with Shane to go to his house. At Shane’s house, I could forget about all that had happened. Not only did Shane offer me love, he offered me a companionship which could only be rivaled by one person. Thomas. Oh Thomas would kill me when he found out about the mess I had myself in. He wasn’t one to be sympathetic to my cause because he knew me better that anyone else.

Shane needed to hold practice the next day and Drew needed to show up. I went to the practice with Shane because he wanted me to talk to Drew. Shane didn’t want Drew and me to hate each other and he didn’t want his best friend to hate him for being with me. Were we together then? I felt like we were. It seemed too fast but so solid that we had come together. When Drew showed up I instantly felt a need to go hug him, which I didn’t thank god. He looked not at all like himself and was down and moping. It didn’t show in his performance and he strummed the notes on his Gibson perfectly. I had been fine yesterday but seeing him then made my heart crack open and thoughts and memories replayed through my head like a broken movie reel. Not telling anyone, I left and grabbed a cab to go to Drew and I’s old apartment. As I unlocked the door, I opened it to find the young blonde which he had slept with the night before. Extending her hand in welcome, well aware of whom I was, Tammy, welcome me into my apartment. I couldn’t hate her. She was sweet and apologetic, of all things! She was upset about what had happened between my ex fiancé and herself. With her help I was able to successfully move out of the apartment and into Shane’s house.

Thomas

August 1985

“You were behind it, weren’t you?”

Kat looked up at me from where she was sitting, “Behind what…?” she asked

“You wanted to break up with Drew, but you didn’t want to do it. So you made it to be his fault.”

“Tom, I wasn’t there, how could I have possibly…”

I cut her off then, “Shane.”

“Shane?” she repeated

“You used him.”

“No, Tom, you’re wrong, I love Shane, and I have, ever since
you
told him
he
could fuck me. Not that he needed your permission anyways.” She snapped.

“Sure, Kat,” I said looking back down at my notebook. We had been attempting to write new songs, but she was too distracted.

“Seriously.” She looked hard at me, expecting me to believe it.

“You’re not a good person anymore, Kat. You’re not the ‘Kat’ I first became friends with.”

“No, I’m not,” she admitted. “I do what I have to do. You don’t understand, Thomas. We wouldn’t have even had a second go around with
Arctic Circle
if I hadn’t fucked Roy…”

“You fucked Roy?” I shouted, disgusted by the prospect.

She shut her mouth and covered it, her eyes wide.

“I had to,” she said softly, “to get us the tour, we were stuck…” she protested.

“It doesn’t make it right, Kat. God, that’s fucking disgusting, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Her eyes met mine “You are right about Drew too, you’re always right, Tom,” she admitted spitefully.

“Great, so now you’re a liar also?”

“I do what I have to do,” she said.

“Did you ever care for Drew? Or was it all a plan to get him back for hurting you before?” I asked then.

“I don’t have to answer that.”

I got up from the chair I had been sitting in and threw it away from us, my temper rising.

Her eyes followed It as she sat erect and stonily.

“I hate you sometimes, you know that?” I yelled close to her face, so angry, now knowing half of our career had been bought by her sexual escapades.

She got up, pushing me away.

“Stop it, Tom, you sound like a jealous schoolboy.”

She turned away from me, grabbing her notepad and bag.

I grabbed her arm and spun her to me, ripping the pages out of her hands. “You’re out, you’re done, and I don’t want you anywhere near me or MY band anymore.”

Fear flashed in her eyes for a moment as I dropped her. She fell to the floor.

I turned my back to her, throwing my hands in the air, then as hard as I could, put my fist through the wall.

I looked over to her as I held my fist, blood pouring down it. She sat, rocking back and forth on the ground, her knees pulled up to her forehead as she heaved heavy sobs.

I sat next to her, she didn’t look up. I felt tears fall from my eyes as I stared at the ground.

She slowly got up and left me there, slamming the door behind her.

I wished I knew what was going on in that head.

Kat

August 1985

I wiped my eyes as I walked through the door, Shane spotted me immediately.

“Hey, hey... What’s wrong?” he asked

“Tom kicked me out,” I let the truth spill out of me

Shane stood across from me, his hands on his waist, “Tom kicked
you
out of the band?”

I nodded, “because of Drew.”

“Wait, did you tell him?” Shane asked in a low voice coming closer to me.

“It may have come up in conversation,” I admitted.

Shane groaned and threw his head back, “if that gets back to him…I’ll be out a guitarist, Kat…”

“Tom’s not stupid; he won’t say a word, no matter how angry he may be at me.”

Shane shrugged, “he won’t stay mad at you forever,” he consoled.

I sniffed a little, holding back fresh tears, “I think he hates me,” I said softly.

“He doesn’t hate you,” Shane said, folding me into his arms.

I leaned into him; he was all I had now.

James

August 1985

“Kat’s not coming today,” Tom told us.

“Why?” Ian asked

“I don’t want her here, were taking a break from each other,” he responded.

“So we don’t have a singer anymore is what you’re saying?” I asked

“No… I… it’s just a break, she has had a lot go on.”

Ian and I both looked at each other, both thinking the same thing, they had gotten into a fight.

After practice I went to see Kat. She answered the door and brought me in to Shane and her house with a smile.

“Shane out?” I asked

“Practice” she sighed.

“Speaking of practice, why were you not there today?”

She laughed, “Tom didn’t tell you?”

I raised my brows in confusion, “No, he just said you needed a break.”

“He kicked me out the other day.”

“What?!” I asked, surprised at the response.

“Yeah,” she sighed softly.

“So that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Kat, he said it was just a break that means he still wants you there.”

“Possibly,” she answered in a low voice as she straightened one of Shane’s guitars on its stand.

“Cheer up, Kat, Ian and I will keep asking about you and soon enough he will forgive you or let you back in or whatever he’s pissed about, I don’t really want to know.”

“It’s cause he wants me,” she said smiling to herself, “He wants me and he’s just now figuring it out that he fucked up.”

“I think you both fucked up,”

The smile fell from her face as if it had been smacked off, “I think so too sometimes,” she said with seriousness in her voice.

I stood up, “anyhow, like I said, Ian and I we will do whatever it takes to get you back in there, threaten to quit, whatever works.”

She giggled, “Thanks, James” she added while giving me a hug.

She felt warm and inviting, I let go of her instantly.

“I’ll call you, Kat… or stop by…okay?”

“Okay,” she said waving good bye to me as I went out the door.

Drew

September 1985

Kat was gone. Well technically she was but she was gone from the intimate part of my life, I still was forced to see her all the fucking time. I hated myself for it. I put my thoughts and energy into Tammy, who I found made an excellent companion for myself. She soothed me and I asked her to stay with me in New York, which she gladly accepted. Kat and I began to make a sort of peace between us over the next few months, which worked out great because she actually really liked Tammy. Well it would have been great with the exception that I was still in love with Kat. Seeing her with Shane was hurtful, but they were happy. Actually I had never seen Kat so happy, and it hurt more than I would ever let anyone know.

Shane

September 1985

“That’s everything”, Kat said putting the last box down.

“Finally,” I responded, wiping sweat from my forehead.

I looked around, “I think we’re gonna have to get a bigger place, Kat.”

“I was hoping you would say that,” she purred as she hopped over to one box and pulled out a small, ugly locked box.

“What the hell is that?” I asked her.

She turned and smiled.

“You know how I turned eighteen last year, right? Well I may have inherited a
shit ton
of money from Mr. Pete Crowne.”

She fumbled around.

“How much are we talking Kat?” I asked, peaking over her shoulder.

She smiled and showed me the document she was holding.

“Holy fuckin’ shit Kat.”

“Aren’t you happy?” she asked, sounding concerned.

“Kat…that’s a lot of money, what are we going to do with it all?”

She encircled her arms around my neck, “Well, let’s start with buying a bigger place?”

I laughed with her as I swung her around and carried her into the bedroom; nothing had ever felt so right.

Kat

September 1985

They say everything happens for a reason and sometimes that reason takes a while to show itself…right?

I could feel myself boiling, screaming internally. I hadn’t seen Thomas is almost a month since our argument. It was better he knew about Roy, about Shane and my plot. It almost felt childish the guilt I felt. I needed someone to know, and Thomas? He was the only person I truly trusted, the only person I really…loved…

“I think I’m going to go to Tom’s.” I said to Shane.

“Oh?” he asked, looking up from the newspaper.

I leaned over on the table, “I think I should, I mean, he was pretty upset about the whole thing.”

“I don’t know why you told him about the whole Drew thing.”

“Shane, he already knew. I couldn’t hide it.”

Shane shook his head, a smile curing on his lips.

“Do you feel bad about it?”

He meant Drew.

“No,” I said softly, coming closer to him.

He stood up, taking me in his arms. “Go see Tom,” he told me.

I let out a breath, “okay, I just hope he will see me.”

“He will.”

“James told me that they have been practicing without me…I hate it.”

“Well, Kat, if you want to be back in the band then make peace with Tom, you can do it, I know you can.” He kissed my forehead like a child.

I drove to Thomas’ house where I went up the concrete stairs and knocked on the door.

He opened the door. Seeing it was I, he began to shut it. “Please,” I begged, blocking him.

He reopened the door and let me in, crossing his arms and waiting as I turned to face him.

“I’m sorry, Tom.”

“I really don’t want to hear this, Kat.” he said, his voice shaky.

“James said…”

“I don’t want to know what James said.” He snapped

I closed my eyes and let out a breath, “Please Tom, stop this.”

“I didn’t start it.”

My eyes met his then; I noticed his hair had gotten longer, his bangs slightly covering his eyes as he kept flipping them out of the way.