She's the One: COunting on Love, Book 1 (32 page)

Amanda wasn’t sure what to say. “Ryan and I are very different too. He’s laid-back and easygoing while I’m intense and driven.”

“But if Ryan sees that in you and, even more, appreciates that about you, that’s all you need. Ryan’s seen the good, the bad, the ugly, the boring. You did it right. Shane and I are different and…” She sighed sadly. “I’m not someone he would choose to be with long-term, Amanda.”

That, of course, couldn’t be true. Isabelle was beautiful and had more than enough male attention. And she had a naughty streak that was very evident whenever she was around Emma. Or schnapps of any kind.

Isabelle and Emma had always been the troublemakers, even when they were little. But Isabelle had never gotten into anything by herself. Something Emma couldn’t say. Amanda knew it was Emma who instigated it all and talked—or dared—Isabelle into it. Now that they were older and Isabelle worked in a field that required her to be more sophisticated—and without an arrest record—she had matured and found interests beyond pushing the boundaries and bending the rules.

Something Shane couldn’t say.

Amanda reluctantly agreed that Shane seemed to be the type to fall hard for the girl who had won a short-shorts contest the same night she won a trophy for best naughty limerick. That had been a wild St. Patrick’s Day night.

“So you’re breaking up with him?” Amanda had only known Shane for a short time, but it made her strangely sad that Isabelle was going to let him go. Everything her sister said made sense. But it didn’t feel right.

Isabelle nodded. “I can’t keep going at this pace, and if I stay with him any longer it’s going to be even more painful when I’m not enough for him.”

Amanda also
hated
that Isabelle thought she might not be good enough for Shane…or for anyone. But if Shane didn’t appreciate all of Isabelle, then
he
was the one who wasn’t good enough for
her
. “Do you believe that nothing happened with him and his ex?”

Isabelle nodded. “That’s not the reason I need to call it quits. Shane’s like…a roller coaster. A ton of fun, everyone loves it, it makes your stomach flip and your heart pound. But you can only ride it so many times before it’s just too much. That adrenaline rush is thrilling at first, but it starts to give you a headache and stomachache after a while.”

Amanda was following her. Kind of. “Shane’s giving you a stomachache?”

“When it’s two a.m. and I find out that he’s in Vegas with his ex? Or when the ER calls because he’s been shot—again? Or he shows up with coffee and bagels for breakfast because he’s on a three-day suspension? Or he pulls me up on stage on karaoke night and insists I sing ‘Paradise By the Dashboard Light’ with him? Yeah. He gives me a stomachache.”

Amanda didn’t know what to say. And that sucked. She was used to giving advice—good advice—to her sisters. “I’m sorry, sweetie.”

Isabelle nodded. “It’s for the best. I can catch up on my sleep, get caught up on the TV shows I’ve been missing, get caught up on my knitting projects.” She sighed. “I’ve missed my boring lifestyle.”

Amanda just hoped Isabelle missed all of that as much as she was going to miss Shane.

“Emma’s out of surgery and Olivia’s awake and Mom’s on her way,” Conner said, coming into the room.

At his news, Amanda felt the tension that had held her muscles tight since Mac and Dooley had shown up on Ryan’s doorstep loosen enough that she could take a full, deep breath.

“Then let’s go.” She got to her feet and leaned over to kiss Isabelle’s cheek.

“One of us should stay here with Iz until Mom gets here,” Conner said. “She’s in Lincoln. It’ll be about an hour.”

Isabelle waved her hand. “I’m fine. I’m going to try to get some sleep.”

Conner looked like he was going to protest, but he glanced at Amanda. She shook her head. Isabelle needed to be alone right now, even if it went against every protective instinct in Conner’s body.

Much to her surprise he simply sighed, then crossed to Isabelle’s bed and kissed her on the head.

Amanda had to swallow hard at the obvious affection in his eyes and his tone when he said, “Call us if you need anything, Iz.”

“You bet. Love you guys.”

“Love you too,” Amanda called as the door to Isabelle’s room swung shut.

“Olivia’s in room four twenty,” Conner said, starting for the elevator.

Amanda grabbed his arm. “Conner.”

He turned back, clearly reluctant. “What?”

“I’m in love with him.”

Conner rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you are.”

She straightened, letting go of him. “Did you just
roll your eyes
about me being in
love
?”

Conner finally met her gaze. “I’m rolling my eyes about you
telling me
that you’re in love with Ryan.”

“Why?”

He looked like he was deciding if he should actually answer the question. “Fine. You like him, he’s a good guy, and you’re attracted to him. Things…happened…between you and now you’re afraid that if it was just a fling, you’re going to mess up my friendship with him and cause problems like Isabelle and Shane do. So you want it to be more serious because you’re trying to protect him. And me.”

Amanda opened her mouth to reply. Then shut it without saying anything. Because she realized that if it had been just a fling, she might have done exactly what Conner thought she had done. For exactly those reasons.

But there was one very important thing wrong with Conner’s theory—she
was
in love with Ryan.

“What happens when I’m still with him in six months? Or a year? Or forever?” she asked.

“My eyes are going to get really sore from rolling forever,” Conner said.

She huffed out a frustrated breath as her brother turned to the elevator again.

“You’ll understand when you fall in love,” she called after him.

Conner gave a short bark of laughter. “Never gonna happen. The
last
thing I need is another woman in my life making me nuts.”

Amanda really hoped that he didn’t mean that. She knew that he often wondered what he’d done in his past life to deserve the four women who’d been making him crazy his whole life. But she did hope that someday he would find a woman who would make him crazy in a whole different—much better—way.

Chapter Ten

His condo smelled like her.

That was the first thing that hit Ryan when he stepped through the door. Which was crazy. She’d showered here. but she’d had to use his soap and shampoo. Was it really possible that her body spray still lingered in the air?

No. But the scent would linger in his memory forever.

He missed her like hell.

That was the second thing that hit him. Hard.

He’d made love to her only a few hours ago in the very hallway where he now stood only half listening to whatever Cody was saying. Okay, maybe he wasn’t listening at all. Cody was just rambling to fill the silence anyway.

Shane had stayed behind at the hospital to see Isabelle. Conner was still there too, with his sisters. They’d gotten word that Emma was out of surgery and Olivia was awake before they got to Ryan’s place. His throat had tightened when he’d heard the news and he’d offered up a prayer of thanks.

Ryan stepped into the living room. It was still a mess from the party, with cans and bottles and cups sitting on various surfaces. And still what he noticed most was that Amanda wasn’t there.

And he missed her like hell.

She said she was in love with him.

God, that had almost done him in. It wasn’t true, of course. He knew that. But hearing her say it had felt damned good.

But he was going to have to move now. Everywhere he looked he was reminded of her. The living room was where he’d first tasted her, where they’d tried to be friends, and where—thanks to a little rubber ball and a crazy junior high party game—they’d realized being friends wasn’t going to work.

Then there was the hallway.

And he was never going to be able to take another shower here.

He threw his jacket onto the couch and shoved a hand through his hair. “This sucks.”

Cody stopped midsentence. He sighed. “Yeah. It does.”

“Thanks for the ride.”

“Yeah.” Cody glanced around. “You want to watch TV or something?”

Ryan shook his head. “I’m gonna take some ibuprofen and go to bed.”

“Okay. I’ll um…clean up around here,” Cody said, moving into the living room.

Ryan waved him off. “Nah, man, don’t worry about it.”

“It’s no problem. You won’t have to worry about it then.”

“Seriously. I just want to head to bed.”

“Go ahead. I’ll…”

Ryan frowned. “Cody, what the hell are you talking about?”

Cody stopped and sighed. “Amanda won’t like it if I leave you alone.”

“She said that?”

“She implied it.”

Ryan gritted his teeth. “Ignore her.”

“No way.” Cody started gathering cups. “I’m not messing with Amanda. You want her to forget about you,
you
tell her.”

Ryan scrubbed a hand over his face. That was the problem right there—he didn’t really want her to forget about him.

“Fuck it. I’m going to bed. You do whatever you want,” he told Cody.

“Sleep tight.”

Ryan was hit hard by emotion and sensation when he stepped into his bedroom. The towel Amanda had used after her shower lay crumpled on the floor—likely where she’d dropped it when she’d dressed in a hurry to go to the hospital.

He kicked it toward the bathroom, stripped off his clothes and got into bed. The bed that was rumpled from where Amanda had curled up to wait for him as he’d asked. The bed where he’d planned to finally spend a full night holding the first and only woman he’d ever really fallen in love with.

Hitting the light, Ryan forced his eyes to close and his mind to quiet.

He’d miss her just as much in the morning, he knew. He’d miss her every day from here on out. But maybe he’d get lucky and have a few hours of peace while he slept.

Of course, that didn’t happen either.

He dreamed of her, then the accident, then her again all night long.

He did, however, manage to stay in bed unconscious for almost ten hours.

Groggy and grumpy, he made his way into the bathroom the next morning. A hot shower worked to clear out some of the cobwebs produced from the stress of the accident, having his head smacked against his side window and throwing the woman he loved out of his life.

Or attempting to throw her out anyway.

He made his way to the kitchen, dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt. He wasn’t surprised to see Cody was still there.

And his kitchen counter was covered with dishes.

“What the hell is all of this?”

“Muffins, cinnamon rolls, a casserole, cookies, a pot of chicken soup, and more cookies,” Cody informed him, gesturing to the various pans.

“You made me chicken soup and cookies?” Ryan asked dryly, lifting the lid on one of the pans. Chocolate chip. His favorite.

“Uh, no,” Cody said, a muffin in hand. “These are from girls.”

“Girls?” Had Amanda cooked for him? That seemed like something she would do.

“Girls from the hospital,” Cody said. “Nurses mostly, I believe. They pretty much came in pairs. Only one came by herself.”

“Girls from St. A’s have been showing up here with food all morning?” Ryan clarified.

“Yep. Seems that you’re a pretty popular guy and this is the perfect reason to come over. I think you could have your own personal nurse twenty-four-seven if you wanted one.”

But he didn’t.

He didn’t want any other woman in his house besides Amanda, and when she showed up here—and he knew she would—he was going to throw her beautiful butt right back out.

She would try to turn this into something more serious because she wasn’t the type to have a wild fling that made her irresponsible and disappointed everyone in her life. She would need this to be a lot more than just hot sex with a friend. She would need to make this a real, solid relationship because she wouldn’t want her sisters to think she would ignore an important phone call from family because she was giving a blow job to some guy who was only a weekend fling. She would want to make this more meaningful because she wouldn’t want her brother to think that he needed to worry about her blowing off her responsibilities to have a little fun instead.

No matter what they’d started building, even if they’d both admitted it was more than friendship, there was no way he could keep going with this. He’d never know if she really felt something for him or if she was trying to make what they’d done acceptable to everyone—including her.

“Chicken soup for bruises?” he asked.

Cody shrugged. “It’s the thought that counts. And if you’d seen what she was wearing, you wouldn’t care what she was feeding you.”

Except that it wouldn’t have mattered a bit.

The doorbell rang and Ryan sighed. It was nice that the girls were concerned and trying to make him feel better. Sure, he knew that they were also trying to get his attention, but it really was thoughtful.