She's the One: COunting on Love, Book 1 (34 page)

Amanda looked a little choked up and he gave her an eye roll and a smile.

She nodded. “Okay. I’ll be back later.”

Yeah, he knew she would. Whether her sister was here or not. And it was going to get harder and harder to push her away.

He watched her all the way out of the parking area.

Finally he went to join Olivia inside.

She was perched on the edge of the couch, shuffling a deck of cards on the coffee table.

“What are we playing?” he asked.

“Garbage.”

He loved that game. He settled into the chair perpendicular to the couch. “Okay with me. What are the stakes?”

“Every time I win, you have to tell me something you like about Amanda.”

Ryan stiffened. “What?”

“And every time you win, I have to tell you something
I
like about Amanda.”

He took a deep breath. “Why?”

“Because I want to make it impossible for you to keep pushing her away.” Olivia Dixon was the kind of person who made everyone smile. She had an inherent sweetness that made people like her almost immediately.

But she was sneaky.

“I’m really good at Garbage,” he said, after a moment.

“That’s okay,” Olivia said with a big smile. “I have lots of things that I like about Amanda.”

Yeah. That wasn’t going to be a problem for him either.

He won four hands in a row and heard that Olivia liked how Amanda donated food and toys to the humane society once a month, how she made the best banana bread in the world, how she knew every episode of the TV show
Chuck
forward and backward, and how Olivia not only knew she could call Amanda for anything, but she
wanted
to because Amanda always knew what to do to make her feel better.

Winning was supposed to be working for him, helping him avoid saying what
he
liked best about her, but it turned out that any mention of Amanda made him crazy.

He lost the next hand.

Olivia sat up straighter. “Okay, tell me something you like about her.”

He sat back in his chair. “It’s a long list.”

“Glad to hear that,” Olivia said.

“Not liking her isn’t the problem, Liv.”

“So what is?”

He took a deep breath. “You know your sister really well.”

Olivia nodded.

“You know that she will do anything for the people she cares about.”

Olivia nodded again.

“And she deserves the same.”

Olivia sat forward. “Of course she does.”

He focused on the cards on the table instead of on Olivia’s face. “I don’t know how to be that guy.”

Olivia reached over, putting her hand on his arm. “Well, there’s no one better to teach you how to be there for people than Amanda.”

That sounded so easy. And tempting. He pushed to his feet. “You hungry?”

He heard Olivia sigh behind him, but then answer, “Sure, what do you have?”

“Mac and cheese.” And whatever Amanda had put in his fridge.

“I love mac and cheese.”

Thankfully, Olivia left him alone in the kitchen as he boiled the noodles and stirred in the powdered cheese, milk and butter. He was grateful for the meal prep that he’d done a million times before so that he didn’t need to concentrate. He couldn’t keep his mind from wandering to his mom. Why hadn’t she ever fought for a relationship? The men in her life had been great guys. Ryan had liked every one of them and he knew they’d treated his mom well. Why hadn’t she ever tried harder to make things work? He couldn’t remember her ever seeming all that upset when things broke up.

He was frowning as he brought mac and cheese, bananas and iced tea into the living room.

Olivia proved her sweetness further by dropping the topic of Amanda as they ate, watched three game shows—Olivia scored more points in two of the games, but Ryan kicked her butt at the rerun of
Family Feud
—and finished the quart of Peanut Butter Passion ice cream in his freezer.

The phone rang as he finished rinsing the dishes.

He smiled as he looked at the number. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetie. You’re okay?”

“Yep. Fine.” He filled her in on the accident, his injuries and the girls’ conditions. Then they chatted about her most recent adventure—a road trip through the wine country in California.

Finally, Ryan felt comfortable bringing up the subject he’d been dying to talk to her about. “So, I have some more news,” he said.

“Wonderful, honey. What’s going on?”

“I’m in love.”

Karmen laughed. “That’s fantastic.”

“It is?”

“Of course. Falling in love is the biggest rush in life. You should ride that roller coaster as many times as you can.”

And there it was. That philosophy that he’d grown up with, the outlook that had made sense to him for so long—right up until he’d fallen in love, for real, with Amanda.

“What if it’s more than just a rush?”

“Well, great. You’ve got someone you can talk to…those are the ones that can last.”

But Ryan knew that in Karmen’s world, “lasting” didn’t mean forever.

“Why didn’t you ever stay with any of the men in your life, Mom?” he asked. He’d wondered, but he’d never asked.

“Oh, Ryan,” she said breezily. “That’s not how I’m wired. I like the for-better, for-richer and in-health parts. Not the rest as much.”

“But if you love someone, don’t you want
all
the parts?” It would be incredibly hard to see Amanda sick, but he couldn’t imagine not being there if she was. He wanted her to be successful at her work and wanted to have the money to buy her anything and everything she’d ever need, but if things got tough, there was no one he’d rather eat ramen noodles with every night. Could he do for worse, for poorer and in sickness with Amanda? Absolutely. And he’d feel blessed every day that he was the one who got to be there.

“Ryan,” Karmen said gently, “not everyone is that strong.”

“Strong?” He’d always thought of his mother as strong. She made her own way in the world, didn’t need anyone else, did her own thing.

“Strong enough to love another person forever. People mess up, make mistakes, say hurtful things. People are hard to love, son. Some people are tough and can stick it out. I prefer the easy way. I love ’em good and hard, but only for a while.”

Strong. That was Amanda. “She’s strong, Mom,” Ryan said. “It doesn’t matter how many times someone disappoints her, or makes a bad choice, or hurts her—she’s still there when they need her.”

And Ryan was eternally grateful for that. He’d done all of those things, hadn’t even told her that he loved her, yet he knew she’d be there anyway.

“I take it you’ve finally found one that won’t let you go,” Karmen said after a few seconds of silence.

He took a deep breath, then blew it out. “Seems that I have.”

Karmen sighed, but it was a happy sound. “She’s the one then.”

Ryan felt surprise shoot through him, followed quickly by an emotion he could only describe as complete satisfaction. Still, it was a
really
strange and romantic thing for his mother to say. “The one?”

“Yes,” Karmen said with enthusiasm. “Finally.”

Ryan’s eyes widened. “What do you mean ‘finally’?”

“I know there have been a lot of girls, Ryan,” Karmen said. “And I know you push them away when you start caring too much. You do it to test them, to see if they’ll stick. And none of them have. Until now.”

Yeah, he’d done that. Sometimes he’d even been aware of it. And he’d been pushing hard with Amanda.

“And this is a good thing?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“Mom,” Ryan said firmly. “Have you been drinking your feel-good tea?”

She laughed. “I’m not under the influence of anything other than being a mother who loves her son and wants him to be happy.”

“But…” He was confused. “Amanda is the type of girl who wants forever. That makes a guy want forever.”

“That’s awesome.”

Yeah.
Really
confused. “But… We don’t… I don’t…know how to do that.”

Karmen laughed. “Of course you do.”

Ryan shook his head even though she couldn’t see him. “How would I know how to do that? You and I have never done it.”

“Ryan, you’ve never ended a relationship with someone you love in your life.”

His mouth dropped open. “Are you kidding? Dad? Hank? Larry?”

“Ryan,” she said, with clear exasperation. “You drove me crazy after your dad moved out because you insisted on calling him and having him a read a bedtime story to you over the phone every night. You talked to your dad on the phone every night for years, even after you outgrew the stories.”

She chuckled softly and he could picture her shaking her head at him.

“After Hank left, you insisted that I invite both him and your dad for Christmas dinner and they ended up coming over every year after that. When Larry and I broke up, you taught him to use e-mail so you could stay in touch—after you bought him his first computer. You’ve bought Hank season tickets to the Husker football games for the past seven years so you can go together.” She stopped and took a deep breath. “Honey, you definitely know how to stick with someone.” She paused again, then laughed. “You’ve put up with me all these years and we both know
that’s
no small task.”

Ryan felt something shift inside of him and click into place all at once. She was right. He hadn’t seen
her
make a romantic relationship work, but he’d made
his
relationships work with his dads. And his friends. And his coworkers. He hadn’t made it work with a woman yet, but then again, he hadn’t been with Amanda until now.

Maybe he did know how to stick. Maybe he could make this work. After all, if Amanda was the one for him, then he had to be the one for her.

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too.” And he knew she did—more and longer than she had anyone else, ever.

He was smiling as he disconnected. His mom was fine. She was happy. That’s all he could really hope for.

That’s what he wanted for Amanda.

He was just having a little trouble adjusting to the idea that
he
might be what made her fine and happy.

Olivia was curled up in the middle of his couch, watching SpongeBob. He grinned. He was so glad she was here. It felt great to see her, talk to her, help her out—even if it was with dumb entertainment all day.

She looked over at him as he sank onto the couch cushion beside her. “Hey, Ryan, thanks for today.”

“Of course. It’s been fun.”

She turned toward him, her feet tucked up underneath her. “It has been. But it’s been even better than that. I’m so glad that you’re not mad at Isabelle and Emma, or beating yourself up, or letting my brother scare you off.”

He looked at the woman whose beautiful green eyes were an exact replica of the ones he wanted to look into for the rest of his life. “Nothing could keep me from being here for you and your sisters, Olivia,” he said, realizing that he meant those words with everything in him.

What had happened had sucked, but they were healing and moving on, still all together.

He’d never been through a really tough time with someone. In his mom’s life, the goodbyes happened when the tough times started. That was the best way for Karmen to avoid the angst and negativity she was so determined to keep out of her life. And he felt sad for his mom in that moment. It turned out that things felt even better, stronger, more solid, when you made it to the other side together.

“Hey, Liv, what time does Emma have rehab today?” he asked, knowing exactly what he needed—and wanted—to do.

“Around three, I think.”

It was twenty till three. “Great. Let’s go.”

“We’re going to see Emma’s rehab?”

He’d been dying to call Em or stop up there all day. “Yes, definitely. I have a feeling Em could use some Oreos after her workout today.” Emma would do almost anything for an Oreo. If he brought her the ones with the mint cream, everything would be right in the world again.

“I’m with you,” Olivia said, grabbing her shoes and slipping them on.

Ten minutes later, they pulled in to the parking lot for St. Anthony’s Rehab Center. He knew exactly which vending machine to get to for the cookies, and they arrived in the therapy gym as Emma was wheeled through the door.

For a moment, seeing her in a wheelchair made his heart clench. But then she saw them and her face lit up and Ryan knew he’d be spending more afternoons down here in the next few weeks.

Amanda wasn’t going to be able to keep him away from the craziness or complications. He was going to dive right into the middle of it all—exactly where he wanted to be.

When she walked into the rehab center at four thirty, Amanda realized that she wasn’t surprised that Ryan was there.

She’d had a moment of anxiety when she’d gotten the text from Olivia telling her where they were.