Shhh... Gianna's Side (12 page)

Everything happens for a reason, and he was my reason.

I woke up screaming from the duct tape being ripped off my face
again. It sounded muffled and strangled from the dryness in my mouth. I had no recollection of how much time had passed, and the blindfold made it harder to distinguish if it was night or day. I wanted to keep screaming, but my face was sore and stung and there was no doubt a bruise on my cheek. He didn’t make a sound as I tried to twist and turn to remove some of the discomfort I felt from being tied up. I couldn’t see anything, not his face, not where I was, not one thing. I thrashed when I felt his hands on my ties, not wanting him to touch me. He slapped my face, not hard this time, just enough to get me to stop.

I was
frozen, immobile again. He was close to me, closer than he had been before, and I could smell his scent. It was intoxicating to me; consumed every part of me, including my arousal. I was covered in sweat, and the heat coursing its way through my body made it apparent how badly I wanted him to touch me. I could feel my nipples harden and my skin tingle. Although I couldn’t see, I knew he was staring at me, I could feel his eyes wander around every part of me, and he knew what I felt and what he was doing to me. I didn’t want any part of it, but my body’s reaction to his touch proved that he still had power over me.

He could control me.

He still owned me.

Body, heart and soul.

His grip tightened around my wrist, and my first thought was that he was going to hurt me. He was going to tie them tighter and cut off more of my circulation. But he didn’t, he massaged them, trying to relieve my discomfort. I turned my head to the side, away from him as hot tears made their way down my face. He was being kind to me, although I would much rather prefer his hatred than his kindness.

His forefinger and thumb rubbed at the most sensitive part of where the bindings were cutting and I moan
ed. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I knew he was smiling. He was enjoying what he was doing to me and I hated him for it.

“Please…” I whispered, “Please…”

He immediately stopped. I knew he was fighting some internal battle with himself, his demons, and I was one of them. He sneered and moved away, and I could finally breathe, my body returned to me, to its rightful owner. The same process as before was repeated. However, this time he fed me warm oatmeal. My stomach was sensitive with every swallow I took. In the back of my mind, I was well aware that if I didn’t get alcohol in my body soon, I was going to start to go through withdrawal.

The last time I went throu
gh withdrawal I thought I was dying. I felt like I was dying. I didn’t last more than a few hours before I was taking my next drink. I could hear the tape being ripped and before I could stop myself, I pleaded, “Please…”

I
wouldn’t scream; he knew I wouldn’t. He didn’t make a sound, contemplating what I was asking I’m sure. I took a chance and repeated it again. There was eeriness in the room everywhere; it was thick and cold. There was a power struggle happening and I nervously awaited the results. When the bed dipped, I knew I had won, and I silently smiled to myself.

Once I hear
d the door being locked, I welcomed the darkness with open arms, allowing myself to slip back into dreams of the man I once knew.

Jake opened the car door for me
. “Thanks, babe.”

“Of course,” he replied as we walked inside the restaurant.

He still took me to those expensive dinners that I didn’t care anything about, but I didn’t tell him otherwise.

“Reservation for Jake Henderson,” he told the hostess and she nodded
, grabbing menus and telling us to follow her.

We
were led through a corridor of booths and seated right by the window that overlooked the entire city.

“Wow, it’s beautiful,” I stated.

“Not as beautiful as you,” he praised, making me smile.

We ordered our appetizers and I ordered a club soda while Jake
indulged in a vodka tonic. I listened to him tell me about his classes and all the new and exciting things he had coming up and pretended to absorb every word. That was until I saw him.

He walked in with an adorable little girl in his arms and a woman not far behind him.
She was beautiful; her blond, curly hair cascaded down her back and she was wearing a tight fitted, black dress. They were seated a few booths away from us and I was directly in his field of vision. I looked back at Jake who was still lost in his story about one of his fraternity brothers getting arrested; I nodded and pretended I was still listening.

But
I wasn’t listening at all; my eyes and thoughts were to the table a few feet away from me. The little girl was sitting on his lap coloring, completely entertained as he talked to the woman. They were exchanging laughs and when I saw her hand raise to caress his cheek, it took everything in me to not go over there and rip her hand off. I witnessed all the subtle glances that they gave each other and I just knew that his hand was on her thigh. When he whispered something in her ear, she blushed and teasingly flipped her hair to the side.

A thousand emotions
made their way through my body.

He was
a liar.

Just like me.

I didn’t know how long I sat there and watched their performance of a happily married couple enjoying a night out, but it was long enough that I felt sick to my stomach. I reached over to grab Jake’s drink and took it down in one gulp. He was shocked and I provocatively smiled, scooting closer to him.

“Sorry, I was thirsty,” I stated
, trying to brush off his confusion.

“I see that.”

I placed my hand on his thigh and kissed his neck like I knew he loved. “I miss you. I don’t like it when you’re away from me,” I lied, trying to erase the images of him and his family from my brain.

“I miss you too, baby.”

I grabbed his chin, turning his face to me and kissed him. I kissed him with everything I had, I kissed him like I hadn’t seen him in forever, I kissed him like I hadn’t just spent the last two days with him, I kissed him like he was everything and anything, I kissed him like he owned me.

I kissed him like
he was Mr. Nichols.

He groaned and grabbed the back of my neck like he
couldn’t get me close enough to him, and that’s when I opened my eyes. They immediately locked with Mr. Nichols’. The look on his face said everything I wanted to see. The hurt, anger, and jealously seethed from him. Which only made me kiss Jake with more passion and luster.

“Baby, Jesus,
Gianna, what’s gotten into you?” he huskily grumbled, pulling away from me.

We ordered our main courses and the entire time we
were waiting for them, I flirted, enticed, and seduced Jake, knowing that Mr. Nichols was watching it all. After dinner, I excused myself to the restroom and kissed Jake lovingly before leaving. I walked right past his table, never looking at him or paying him any mind. It was like he wasn’t there and didn’t exist. I closed the door behind me and right before I was about to lock it, it was roughly pushed opened. I stepped back and watched as he locked the door, leaning his forehead on it before turning to face me. It was like he needed those first few seconds to contemplate what he was about to do.

“What the fuck?” I yelled, boiling with anger.

“Watch your mouth,” he retorted, making me even more pissed.

“Fuck you.”

It took him three strides before he was in front of me, grabbing me by the throat and pushing me up against the wall. I didn’t cower down and held my head high, matching his intense, fuming gaze the entire time.

“What was that?” he questioned with clenched teeth.

“I’m out with my boyfriend while you’re out with your wife.”

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“You expect me to believe that? You’re a liar! You lied to me. I have never lied to you! You’re the only person I have never lied to. How could you do this to me?” I shouted, trying to hold back the tears that I could feel in my throat.

“G–”

“Don’t fucking call me that! You’re never allowed to call me that again!” I threatened, forcing myself not to react to his hand around my neck that was making my knees weak and my pussy throb.

“Calm down and let me explain. You’re acting like a child.”

“I am a child! Isn’t that what you like to tell me?! Isn’t that how you think of me, just some child that you can lie to and play with! That’s all I am to you, someone you can fuck with!” I roared and he gripped my throat tighter.

“That’s not what this is, G. It’s fucked up, I am your teacher and you’re my student. Do you have any idea how much trouble I could get in?”

“I’m eighteen,” I reminded.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“What do you want?” I interjected, not having the patience to keep playing these games.

He loosened his hold as he struggled with his response before placing his forehead on mine
. “Stop asking questions you already know the answers to.” I stilled, not expecting that to be his answer.

We stood there
, both of us breathing heavily, completely consumed with one another, with our eye contact strong, with the chemistry screaming at us.

“Do you want this?” he
asked after a long silence. “Because once we cross this line there is no going back. Do you understand me? You’re mine,” he demanded, once again gripping my throat.

“Please…”

His mouth collided with mine with such force that my head hit the wall. I was dizzy with the heat rising in my core. That was what I’ve wanted and needed for so long, and when I felt his tongue make contact with mine, I shamelessly moaned. His hold around my neck tightened while he pushed his cock firmer against my pussy like he could read my mind.

“God, you taste and feel exactly how I’ve dreamed,” he admitted as an invo
luntary sound escaped his lips.

“
If I profane with my unworthiest hand. This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss,”
[7]
he recited, with love and longing.

Being that close to him wasn’t nearly enough for me, I wanted him inside me, and not just sexual. I was mad for him, desperate and feverish. I wanted the good with the bad; I was losing myself to him and this ecstasy we created. I knew I would never be the same after this kiss. He owned me, he always had. I quivered at the thought of being his, only his.

His movements grew more demanding and urgent. We were both running on pure lust, impulse, instinct, and abandonment; everything felt right. It didn’t matter what surrounded itself around us because we were one and the same. That night, in that bathroom, we lost ourselves to something neither one of us understood or could control. The universe had decided it for us.

I loved him.

He was my person.

My soul mate, my one and only.

He was the first to break our kiss, our connection, and I whimpered at the loss. I didn’t want to go back to pretending. I didn’t want to be that person anymore. I wanted to ask him so many questions, there were a million thoughts carousing in my mind. I stayed silent, not wanting to ruin the moment, and I silently prayed that this wouldn’t be our last time together. He wouldn’t be that cruel to give me a taste of him and then take it away. Would he?

I had to trust him.

We composed ourselves and went back to our lives. I wanted to kick and scream and drag my feet. If he had asked me to leave with him, to run away with him, I would have done it in a heartbeat, no questions asked. He had to know that right? He understood me and could see me for who I really was? That was the beauty about him. I was in a place between heaven and hell, a devil and angel on each shoulder. The only choice I had was to sit back and enjoy the ride of this emotional roller coaster.

I sat back at the table with Jake and I should have told him, I should have ended things with him right then and there, but I couldn’t. I was scared of disappointing everyone and that made me a coward. I continued to be what everyone wanted me to be because that’s all I knew.

But when you play with fire, you’re bound to get burned.

“Baby, you all right?” Jake questioned, taking me away from the ramblings in my mind.

“Uh, yeah…I’m fine.”

“Here take a bite of this chocolate cake,” he offered, bringing the spoon to my mouth.

The chocolaty goodness melted upon contact with my tongue. But I couldn’t swallow, why couldn’t I swallow? My breathing had stopped, I couldn’t breathe! I was choking…how was I choking? That’s not what happened. I don’t remember that happening! What’s going on?

I’m dying…

My eyes opened and I was choking. I couldn’t breathe! Fuck, I was going to die from my own vomit. I turned my head to the side, trying to get it out of the back of my throat, but there was no use. Tears streamed down the sides of my face at the realization that I was going to die from alcohol withdrawal, and then I heard the locked door open and being slammed shut. I couldn’t see anything and it caused more paranoia. I heard shuffling and then rope being cut. My arms immediately fell by the top of my head and then there was more rope being cut. I couldn’t move; my limbs were asleep from lack of my movement. Strong arms picked me up and I was turned onto my stomach. My back was hit repeatedly and chunks of vomit made their way out of my mouth.

After what felt like hours, I gasped for the first time and I had hope that I wasn’t going to die tied to a bed with a blindfold over my eyes, while my
captor
decides what to do with me. I threw up everything I had in my stomach and my body finally gave out on me, making me fall face first, right next to my vomit. I felt relieved, but that didn’t stop the shame from creeping in. I was literally lying next to a pool of my own puke; the blindfold intensified my senses and the smell of it made me want to throw up all over again.

I just lay there in a state of shock, trying to not think about the fact that he was sitting right next to me, and I knew I had to be a pathetic sight. The sensations in my legs returned first and then my arms quickly followed, they tingled all over, almost like the feeling of when you’re trying to keep your foot from falling asleep. I could shake them and bring back the movement quicker, but I was mortified and praying that he thought I had passed out or something. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I didn’t want to remove the blindfold because then it would make it real. He really kidnapped me, and I really almost died, and now I was pitifully lying next to my puke. I knew he was staring at me, contemplating what to do next. I’m positive I had ruined his plans.

In the forefront of my mind, I kept thinking that I needed alcohol, I was going to start shaking soon, and a seizure wouldn’t be far away. How the fuck would I explain that to him?

“I know you’re not sleeping,” he stated, taking away my false security.

Asshole
.

“You’ve been sleeping for the last two days and I can tell the difference in your breathing.”

Several minutes went by and I didn’t move or say one damn word.

“This is a surprise. You don’t have anything to say? Not going to try to manipulate your way out of this? I mean, that’s what you’re good at. Where’s Gianna, huh? Where’s Queen B?” he patronized.

“Get up! You fucking smell and you’ve puked all over yourself.”

I didn’t move and he kicked the bed with his foot.