Simple Man (26 page)

“Can I have some water?”

“Sure.” He eased out of her and cursed. “Fuck.”

“What?”

It was the first commandment, but in the back of his head, that quick, he saw a silver lining. Maybe this would seal her to him. “I forgot a condom.”

She swallowed. Her expression didn’t betray her concern. Maybe she didn’t think it was such a bad thing either. Having a child with Kate would be amazing. Logan could possibly have a little brother or sister—

“I started the pill. We should be good.”

His hope died. He got up and went to the kitchen, turning his back on her so she didn’t see his disappointment. She was on the fucking pill? Wasn’t that something couples usually discussed? Was the idea of having his child so abhorrent to her that she had to take such measures?

He was being ridiculous. He could barely afford Logan. Now was not the time for a baby and he and Kate were so far from that stage his thoughts were laughable.

He filled a glass with water and returned to the couch. She’d pulled the blanket over herself and sat up. He touched her knee. “I’m sorry I was rough.”

She sipped and nodded. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. Did I hurt you?”

She put the glass on the table. “I’m not going to break, Shane. When will you learn that I’m here and you can lean on me?”

“I’m afraid to push too hard. One day you might not come back.”

“So long as you’re honest with me and let me in, I promise to come back. It’s only when you shut me out that those walls separate us. Don’t shut me out.”

He nodded. “I’ll try.”

They moved to the bedroom. He lifted the covers and she curled into his side. He needed to get his life together or he would lose her too. No matter how much he thought letting her go was right, he no longer possessed such selflessness. She would only put up with so much before someone pointed out that she was too good for him.

He kissed her ear, wanting nothing more than to whisper words of love to her. That was one thing he could offer. He wasn’t complicated. His world consisted of simple things. He hadn’t lied when he told her he was a simple man. He didn’t need wealth or fancy things. All he wanted was a family to love. With that, his life would be square.

Chapter Seventeen

On Friday, he got the news. Will Erickson was Logan’s paternal father. Court was on Tuesday and his situation didn’t show any signs of improving. He was going in, asking for full custody, and doing so without a job and nothing but sixty-seven dollars in the bank.

The weekend passed way too fast. He took Logan to the park and played with him nonstop. Kate came by on Saturday and had lunch with them. She had a family thing she couldn’t miss so she didn’t stay.

Shane worked at the Grill Sunday night as usual. When he came home he took Logan from his crib and brought him to his bed. He pressed kisses into his cherub cheeks and nuzzled him with his nose.

On Monday, Shane actually considered running. Where could he go? The only thing that stopped him was the constant realization that, no matter how entitled he felt, it would be kidnapping.

On Tuesday morning he packed up Logan’s diaper bag and loaded him in the Kia. Their appointment was at ten. He entered the courthouse and stared at each person waiting.

A tall guy with dark hair was eyeing Logan’s car seat like it was a naked woman. Shane knew in that instant the other man was Logan’s father.

He took the farthest seat from Will Erickson as possible. He didn’t even want to share the air with the man, let alone Logan. Tabitha appeared and smiled at him. Where was Kate?

He was told to enter the court and sit at the table on the left. Kate waited for him there.

“Hi,” he whispered, placing the carrier on the table. He wanted to hug her, but knew that was inappropriate.

“How are you?”

“Terrible. Scared. Nauseated.”

She subtly brushed her hand over his. “Me too.”

The judge appeared and took his seat. Everyone stood and, again, he was made to swear on the Bible to tell the whole truth. Kate swore too.

“There have been some developments since we last met, I see,” the judge announced.

Tabitha walked up the results of the DNA test and the judge took the paperwork. He asked Will a few questions. Shane wanted to point out that Will had just finished being incarcerated, but no one seemed interested in that tidbit.

Everything seemed a bit too impersonal for Shane’s taste. What was the point of all the visits and personal questions if no one wanted to hear about how far he’d come as a caregiver?

“Ms. McAlister, you have a statement?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“When you’re ready.” The judge nodded.

Kate stood. She opened a folder and withdrew a typed letter. She carried herself beautifully, as though she didn’t have a worry in the world, her pressed suit only making her appear more capable. She cleared her throat.

 “When I first took on this case I saw a young man who knew nothing about babies or parenting, for that matter. In my experience, in cases such as these, I see a lot of shortcomings in our nation’s system to provide the best service to children in need of care. Even when those charged with the care of a child are in fact the child’s biological parents, sometimes they fail. I feared, when I met Shane Martin, I would see another struggling guardian fail a child, but I could not have been more wrong.

“Mr. Martin took his responsibilities as guardian beyond the outlined requirements. He took baby Shane into his life and made him a home. Being a parent, for Mr. Martin, was more than simply attending appointments and meeting a standard. He made it his priority to give baby Shane a father. He gave him back the family they had both lost.

“During my many visits to Mr. Martin’s residence, I witnessed the wholesome love of a father and son that I don’t see very often in my profession. It is the love that’s supposed to exist between a child and their guardian, the love we hope to advocate when we place children in the care of another.

“Mr. Martin provided something for baby Shane that, I believe, has helped him flourish and develop beyond any measuring stick we use to weigh the system’s failures and successes. He’s given him the only kind of security a child of baby Shane’s age can understand. He’s met his every need in a way that equates to love in an infants mind.

“When I observe Mr. Martin and baby Shane, I see a son looking to his father. Baby Shane knows that if he needs something Mr. Martin will be there, no matter what. Mr. Martin has reorganized his life in order to make baby Shane his number one priority. His affection for his nephew is evident in the way he plays with him, the way he cares for him, and the way he always, without question, puts him first.

“I understand that there’s a decision to be made today and paternity will play a strong role in deciding who is the right guardian for baby Shane.  I don’t know Mr. Erickson. Neither does his son. What baby Shane does know is that the man who brought him here today is his father in every sense of the word. Genetics mean nothing to a five month old. Their minds can only comprehend things in the simplest form, but I do believe, even as infants, they can understand one of the most complicated concepts of life. That’s love, Your Honor. And I have no doubt in my mind, Mr. Martin loves this child with all of his being. And it is with complete certainty, that I believe Baby Shane loves Mr. Martin.

“I ask that the court consider what’s best for the emotional wellbeing of baby Shane and not those of us here who are able to rationalize the unfair moments of life. Baby Shane lost his mother with no explanation. He will never fully understand why she was there one day and suddenly gone the next. Don’t take the only father he’s known away from him as well.”

She sat down and he stared at her. She wouldn’t meet his gaze. Her eyes remained fused to her paper and he watched, speechless, as a single tear rolled past her lashes.

Knowing he may be jeopardizing his case, he struggled not to take her in his arms and hug her, thank her for speaking such beautiful words on his behalf. He did the only thing he could. Reaching under the table, he put his hand over hers and squeezed. She turned her palm up and clasped his hand tightly.

The judge finished making notes and turned to Will. “Mr. Erickson, do you have a statement?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Go ahead.”

Will stood. His clothes were wrinkled and his hands shook. “I just found out that I had a son. I appreciate that Noel’s brother cared for him while I was unable to do so. However, I feel it only right that I have the opportunity to be a father for my child. No matter what, Shane Martin will always be Shane’s uncle. On that same note, nothing will ever change the fact that I am his father.”

He sat down. Short, nothing poetic, but enough to destroy Shane’s world all the same.

“Do you have anything to add, Ms. McAlister? Mr. Martin?”

“No, Your Honor.”

Shane stood and Kate looked startled.

“Your Honor.” He hadn’t prepared anything, but he couldn’t leave without saying his peace. “I love my nephew as though he were my own. He’s a part of me. All I can say is that taking him away would be like taking away my heart or a chunk of my soul. I don’t know how to live without those parts…I take good care of him. Before my sister died, she told her caseworker that if anything should happen to her, that it be me who raise her son. In the few short months I’ve had him, he’s somehow become my greatest accomplishment. He’s my pride and joy...Please don’t take that away from me.”

He remained standing, reading sympathy in the judge’s eyes, but not conviction. Shane swallowed. “Your Honor, the convoluted truth is…” Nerves choked him. He cleared his throat. “The truth is, Your Honor, Logan has a home. It isn’t much, but I like to think he’s happy there. He has everything he needs, food, shelter, love. I just don’t think this should be a question of genetics. It should be a question of what’s ethically right for Logan. He may not have been born my son, but I know I was born to be his father.”

He stared at the table, for the first time experiencing the sense that he was losing his boy and no matter what he said it might not be enough. “That’s all.” He sat.

“We will take a recess and I’ll return shortly with a verdict.” Everyone stood and Logan stirred.

“Are you okay?” Kate asked.

“Yeah. I need to change Logan. I’m going to take him outside for a minute. Will you come get me if anything happens?”

She nodded and he took the diaper bag and lifted Logan out of his chair. He found a bench and quickly changed him. Shane was giving him a bottle when he saw Will come out of the courtroom.

Shane whispered to Logan, never taking his eyes off the serpent that threatened their happiness. As Will approached, Shane’s courage shook. No man should have this much power over another.

He unassumingly walked toward them, stealing some of the air from Shane’s lungs.
Go away.

On a shaky breath, Shane braced himself and faced the other man. He slowed a few feet away from their bench.

“Can I see him?” the other man asked.

There was no way Shane was letting him hold Logan. He knew this guy never did anything wrong to him personally, but he hated him. Hated him more than he ever hated anyone, but he had to be nice. God forbid—if Will got custody—and cut off Shane’s ties with his nephew completely. The most he could do was tilt Logan so the other man could better see his face. Logan gripped his bottle and eyed the other man indifferently.

“He looks like your sister.”

“Yes,” Shane answered.

Will shifted his posture. “No matter what, I would hope you would still stay close with Shane.”

“His name is Logan.”

Will blinked at him and the door opened. Kate stepped out. “Shane,” she paused when she saw Will standing there. “The judge is about to come back in.”

Shane stood and gathered the diaper bag. He left Will to find his own way back, unable to tolerate his presence a second longer. When he sat down beside Kate she whispered, “What was that about?”

“Nothing. I’ll tell you later.” He shifted Logan on his lap and helped him get comfortable with his bottle again.

The judge entered and took a few minutes to get situated. Shane swallowed. This was it.

“There’s a lot of emotion here in the courtroom today. I must say that it’s nice to see adults vying to prove their love for a child rather than serve some ulterior motive. However, knowing that two people want this child does not make my decision any easier. What matters is what’s best for the child.

“Mr. Martin, I have reviewed your case thoroughly. Ms. McAlister has made it abundantly clear that, in her professional opinion, you’re a caring and capable guardian. However, your love for your nephew is not enough to negate the fact that, while one parent is deceased, another is still very much alive and willing to take responsibility for his son.”

Shane’s grip tightened on Logan. His heart pounded and he thought he might puke all over the stuffy little courtroom.

The judge turned to Will. “Mr. Erickson, your situation is what it is. I’m not going to pretend there was no reason you only just found out you are a father. For reasons none of us will ever know, Noel Martin asked that her brother look after her child in the event that she was unable to do so, rather than yourself.”

He looked at Logan who unknowingly smiled and babbled in Shane’s lap. “This is not a decision that should be made lightly and therefore I’ve decided to order a trial period of one month in which Shane Logan Martin will be put in the custody of his paternal father. After that trial period, in which you will adhere to the same requirements as Mr. Martin under the supervision of another caseworker, we will reconvene here and decide what’s best for the baby. This judgment will go into effect today and we’ll meet here in one month.”

The gavel came down and Shane’s breath shook out of him. No.
No!

People stood and began moving out of the courtroom. An officer approached. He couldn’t breathe.