Sinful Resurrection (CSA Case Files 2) (14 page)

“We start now,” Jax declared and then claimed her lips.  His hands moved up her arms, over her shoulders, and into her hair.  The tips o
f his fingers sent the two pins which had been holding her hair on top her head flying.  She vaguely heard them hit the wood floor.  Her grip on his shirt tightened when he surprised her by pulling away.  Opening her eyes, she stared into his and saw a heat that rivaled the crackling fire in front of them.  “On your knees.”

Chapter Sixteen

Emily’s heart fluttered, her hearing seemed distant, and her vision tunneled slightly at the sound of his words.  It had been so long since she’d heard them and no matter how many times she’d fantasized about this exact same scenario, her body only responded like this for Jax’s voice.  With trembling knees that had nothing to do with nerves and everything to do with arousal, Emily stepped away from him and slowly peeled the robe away from her overheated flesh and let it drop to the floor.  The warmth of the fire trailed
across her skin.  It was not any comparison to the heat Jax now had radiating from within her.  Gradually and with measured steps, she stopped in the middle of the throw rug and lowered herself to the floor. 

“Do you remember the guidelines that we covered?” Jax asked in a low voice, standing in front of her with his arms crossed.

Emily’s breath caught in her throat and she immediately lowered her eyes.  Focusing on the black laces of Jax’s boots, she recalled the parameters as if the list were written in the leather.  Her mouth felt slightly dry as apprehension settled in her shoulders, which straightened involuntarily as she placed her hands behind her back.  Swallowing proved difficult as she started to speak.

“Safe, sane, and consensual,” Emily murmured, pausing as the rest came int
o play.  Jax had always been upfront with his predilection of living the BDSM lifestyle and the more he explained the ins and outs of such kink, the more she became highly interested.  When he actually showed her, she wondered if one could become addicted.   “My eyes are to be downcast at all times.  My body is yours —”

“Safe, sane, and consensual,” Jax replied softly as he walked around her.  Emily wanted to watch his progression, but thought better of it.  “Those are the three words I live by.  That is really all you need to remember.  You are right though.  I do
ask that your eyes be downcast to show me respect.  Your body is mine to pleasure as I see fit.  And you will
always
accept my touch, whether in pleasure or pain.  All discipline and punishment will be discussed.  As I said — safe, sane, and consensual.  Which brings us to your safeword that you haven’t mentioned.  Do you remember what that is?”

“Red,” Emily answered, her body already on the edge just from being reminded
of the rules.  Her breasts felt full, while her pussy swelled.  She had understood early on that to be a submissive, one had to have the strength to place oneself in the hands of a Dominant.  She had no doubt she was submissive.  “And I may use
yellow
should I need to discuss something that makes me uncomfortable.”

“Respect is important to me —
do you remember that, Emily?”

She recalled
the conversation as if it was yesterday and even he acknowledged his need for control stemmed from not having any as a teenager.  The respect aspect gave him that control and she had relinquished it willingly.  He was waiting for it now, for the word signified her reverence.  She also knew that would be his cue that she was ready to continue.   

“Yes…Sir.”

“That is how you will address me.”  Jax finished circling her, although he had yet to touch her since she’d knelt on the floor.  She wanted his touch.  Needed it.  “From your position, you obviously remember how I like you displayed.  I suggest you widen your knees farther apart.”

Emily did as instructed, her heart racing.  Would he lean down and touch her?  Being so open made her feel vulnerable, and his last vow of having her tied to his bed and at his mercy reverberated in her head.  What would please him more?  Keeping her on edge the entire night or giving her more pleasure beyond her wild
est imagination?  Not knowing was what would keep her on the edge.

“Are your soft and hard limits the same?” Jax asked, still not moving.  It was driving her mad.  “I need to know before we continue.”

“The same, Sir.”

Jax knelt before her, resting his left ar
m on his knee.  She saw clearly from the way her eyes were downcast as his right hand extended toward her pussy and couldn’t help but hold her breath as she waited for contact.  None came.  Eventually, Emily had to exhale for she was feeling a bit lightheaded.  It was then that his finger slid between her folds.  The brief contact gave her everything, yet nothing at the same time.  The room spun and she had to dig her heels into her buttocks to maintain her grounding.

“It pleases me to know that you’re ready for me, should I take you this evening.”  Jax pulled away, and even went so far as to stand again.  “There is one rule that you seem to have forgotten.”

Emily’s mind was trying to keep up with his words, although that proved impossible.  Visions of Jax tying her to a bed and having his way with her flashed through her mind.  Memories of so long ago barged in, reminding her of how good it was to be restrained by his hand.  Would he do that this evening?

“Honesty.”  The word brought the room to a halt and her eyes focused directly back on his boots.  Was he about to cut this scene to a halt?  Had nothing she said had an impact on him?  Did he not believe that she’d been totally truthful?  Were her reasons not valid enough for him?  As she felt her anger surge back, he stepped forward.  “Look up at me, Emily.”

Parting her lips to inhale some much needed oxygen, Emily did as he ordered.  Jax must have seen the resentment in her eyes, for he smiled gently, as if in reassurance.  Her ire immediately tampered, although irritation remained.  He was keeping her off balance and that is something she would never get used to.

“Yes, Sir?”

“From this moment on, dishonesty will end this immediately.  Trustworthiness is not like your submissiveness, which runs only in the bedroom.  I expect honesty inside and outside of that room.  No excuses.  If there is anything — and I mean anything at all — that I should know about, now is the time to tell me.”

Emily maintained eye contact, wanting him to see all the way through to her soul.  She would not apologize for taking the roads she’d
used to get here.  For whatever reason, fate had dealt them this path.  It was up to them to make sure they took it together.

“I’ve told you everything.  I’m yours, Sir.”

As if he’d been waiting on those words, Jax lifted his arms over his shoulders and pulled his T-shirt over his head, leaving his blonde hair mussed.  Emily would have thought the whiskers on his jaw would have given him a boyish appearance, but it did anything but.  He was all male and the contours of his upper body showed that.  His chest was broad, with a light dusting of hair that led to a flat, hardened abdomen she would have given anything to touch.  To prevent herself from doing so, she tightened her fingers in order to keep them at her lower back.  She was just grateful that he hadn’t requested she lower her eyes once again.  

“As I undress, I want you to pinch your nipples to keep yourself ready for me.”

“Sir?” Emily tried to remember a time that he ever had her touch herself and nothing came to mind.  He had always been the one to caress or stroke her.  In all honesty, she didn’t need to touch herself to keep herself aroused.  His voice was doing that, all on its own.  “I —”

“You were given an order.”  Jax remained where he was, waiting for her to follow his command.  His brows furrowed.  “I don’t like hesitation, Emily.”

She remembered all too well.  By the end of their previous time together, he’d trained her body and mind to instantly follow his orders.  Jax had told her there was nothing better than to see surprise written on his submissive’s face when she immediately followed orders only to find it was something she normally wouldn’t do, yet pleasing to her body.  He liked to mentally push his subs.

Emily slowly released her fingers from her lower back and brought them to her front.  Raising them to her breasts, she knew that he would watch closely enough to see that she was doing as she was told.  Having him pinch her nipples was one thing, but to bring herself pain was something she wasn’t sure she would enjoy.

“Now,” Jax ordered.  Emily took both nipples in between her index fingers and thumbs, pressing down and squeezing until she felt the jolts of pleasure connect with her clit.  Biting her lip, she continued to manipulate her nipples until she felt herself panting.  “I didn’t say play with your nipples.  I want you to pinch them.”

As Emily followed his instructions, she felt her cream leak out of her folds and trail down her inner thigh.  A whimper escaped as the erotic pain seemed to encompass her and it almost seemed as if he appeared in a fog.  His hands reached for the button of his jeans.  As if in slow motion, he slipped the button through the hole and then lowered the zipper.  She didn’t hear the sound, for the beat of her heart was too loud within her own head.  When he didn’t proceed to remove the denim, her eyes flew to his face.

“Return your hands behind your back, Emily,” Jax said, his voice slowly registering.  It was harder to do than she thought it would be, as her nipples now needed stimulation.  He was taking it away.  She bit her lip harder to keep from crying out as she followed his command.  “Good girl.”

Emily’s breathing had become heavy and all she wanted to do was have him take her, like he had against the wall at the other safe house.  She wanted Jax to claim her with the same intensity of that night.  She forced her body to loosen its muscles as she watched him finish undressing, convincing herself that he would be within her soon.  Those hopes were dashed when he took a seat on the couch, facing her in all of his glory.

“I’ve always considered myself a fair Dom,” Jax said, resting both arms on the back of the couch.  The tone of his voice should have been her first warning that she was about to be at his mercy...just as he promised.  “In the time we spent together, would you agree?”

“Yes, Sir,” Emily whispered, watching him closely.  He’d yet to tell her to
close her eyes once more. 

“As much as I would love to pick up right where we left off, it would be remiss of me not to punish you for your dishonesty.”  Jax seemed to settle further back into the leather of the couch, indicating they would be in these positions a while longer yet.  A light sheen of perspiration coated her skin, though she knew it had little to do with the fire behind her.  He’d spoken of punishment and that was something she had yet to receive from him.  Emily considered using her safe word, but it was a fleeting thought.  She could take whatever chastisement he meted out, for she understood why he needed to.  “Twenty-four months, give or take, is the agonizing amount of time that you put me through thinking you were safe from harm whereas all the while you were playing cat and mouse with a murderer.  You were mine to protect, which I thought I had done.  You
are
mine, considering you are on your knees in front of me, giving me your body.  To make certain you understand that, you’ll take your punishment and ask for more.  Agreed?”

His hardened tone made her breathing shallow in trepidation, while the heat in his eyes continued to arouse her.  The dual sensations were opposite, yet kept her right where she knew he wanted her.  Did she a
gree or should she use her safeword?  Emily’s mind was telling her one thing while her heart told another.  Hell, maybe they were expressing the same thing.  She had no idea what she felt at the precise moment.  She only knew that she wanted him more than life itself.  He was a few feet away, arranged in such a way that it would take nothing to climb on top of him and take his cock inside of her.  Yet here she was, staying in place.

“Agreed, Sir,” Emily whispered, hoping she hadn’t taken on more than she could handle.  Jax had never placed her in this situation.  Actually, it was her actions that brought her here, although her only regret was that she hadn’t been truthful with him to begin with.  And technically, that was what he was enforcing now.  So if she understood that, was it really necessary to continue this chastisement?  “Sir —”

“It makes me happy to hear you agree.”  Jax seemed to get even more comfortable, if that were possible.  She would have thought maybe he meant a spanking or something to that effect.  He wasn’t moving, so her mind ran in a thousand different directions.  “Since you’ve now told me the truth, instead of twenty-four orgasm denials, you’ll give me twelve — by your own hand.  You’ll pleasure yourself until you are on the brink of release.  I’ll see it in your eyes, as they crinkle at the sides right before you come.  Before you go over the edge, you’ll stop.  That is, until I tell you to start again.  Are we clear?”

Orgasm denial?  Emily almost laughed out loud.  The count seemed to be a bit high, but it was a hell of a lot better than taking some makeshift paddle from the kitchen and having her ass sore for the rest of the night.  Her body was already heightened as it was, so getting through twelve would go by fast.

“Yes, Sir,” Emily said, her voice loud and clear.  His mouth lifted up at the corner, which should have been her warning, yet she brushed it off to amusement.  She lowered her eyes to see his cock hard and resting against his abdomen.  From the rigidity, he wouldn’t want to wait too long either.  “And this wipes the slate clean?”

“Yes, as all punishments do.  This will cleanse the resentment as well as remind you of what is really important.”

“I’m ready, Sir.”

“Then using your left hand, spread your folds so that I may watch as your right hand strokes your clit.”  Emily saw his shaft pulse with the beat of his heart and she smiled as well.  “I don’t mean caressing, either.  I want long hard strokes across your nub.”