Sleeping Beauty (3 page)

Well, God had protected me, all right. Hed protected me from running into the street and being hit by a cab. He had not protected me, however, from profound humiliation and intense mortification the likes of whicheven in all my years of sleepwalking and waking in odd situationsId never before experienced.

Instead of looking shocked or horrified, however, the gentleman, whose white shirt, even at 3:00 a.m., was completely unwrinkled and crisp, looked mildly interested and not the least surprised by the raving mess hed found eating cubes out of the hotel ice machine.

Are you waking up? he inquired calmly, gently.

I groaned and rocked forward on my knees to bury my face in my hands. All I wanted to do was to disappear into the carpet. Yes. Just check me into an institution now. If it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. If it walks like a psycho and yammers like a psycho, it must be a psycho. I am so embarrassed that I want to die.

No need for that. I understand. He stood up and offered me his hands. I scrambled to my feet and was momentarily glad that my flannel jammies were the least revealing items in my entire wardrobe. I stumbled close to him as I rose and caught a whiff of some spicy cologne.

His eyes, dark and astute, were also kind. I felt compassion from his every pore. Usually people are either horror-struck or amused by my sleep antics. Both amazed and startled by his unusual response, I allowed him to lead me to a sofa and settle me in one corner. He pulled up a chair and sat across from me.

If possible, he was even better looking up close. Firm jawline, intelligent eyes, finely shaped mouth, a high forehead over which dark hair feathered. Then he smiled and I thought my heart might leap out of my body through my throat. He was not the kind of man Ior any womanwould choose as a witness to her embarrassment.

Too late. I should have crawled under the rug when I was down on my knees.

I am so sorry, I stammered. Im sure you think Im certifiable and should be locked up immediately, but Im not, really. Its just that I

Suffer from parasomnia? You obviously have a REM sleep disorder of some sort. Probably several other things going on as wellsomnambulism, periodic limb movement, other arousal disorders. Night terrors, perhaps. Sleepwalking is nothing to be ashamed of. Granted, its embarrassing, but hardly within your control.

You know aboutme? Relief sprang within me; someone understood. I was also hopeful. I had not sent this Adonis of a man off screaming for help and demanding the demented woman wandering the hallways be hauled away.

Not you in particular, but I recognize your behavior. Many people with parasomnias have nocturnal dramas such as yoursor much worse.

Worse?

Oh, yes. Ive been involved in more than one court case explaining how perfectly sane and rational people can exhibit aggressive dream enactments. Murders, even.

Who are you anyway? I was beginning to feel Id awoken from one dream only to find myself in another.

Im sorry I didnt introduce myself. He smiled at me in a way that activated every nerve fiber in my body. Dr. David Grant. Im a neurologist and administrator of a new institute for brain research and sleep disorders in Minneapolis.

Institute, institution. Brain disorders. The perfect guy for me.

Do you always wander the halls of hotels at 3:00 a.m. rescuing sleepwalkers?

He laughed. It was an agreeable rumble deep in his chest. When he smiled, his expression dissolved into pleasant lines around his eyes. Purely accidental. Ive been overseas and my inner time clock isnt working properly. After the restaurant closed I found an all-night coffee shop. Im a people watcher so it was good entertainment.

The restaurant I mumbled.

Yes. I noticed you there with your friend.

You did? I hoped he hadnt overheard us behaving like silly schoolgirls. Wait until I tell Darla I met this man of our dreams! And that I met him in my sheep-and-clouds pajamaseating ice out of a machineclutching my makeup kitfalling on my knees to pray.

Coming to my senses I vowed that I would never, ever tell this to Darla or any other living soul. No matter how much fun my friends would have at my expense, I would take this Suze the Sleepwalker story to my grave.

N ow what? How does one squirm ones way out of a situation this awkward? I felt as low as a worm so I should have been able to wiggle like one.

I suppose Id better get back to my room, although I know I will never be able to fall asleep again. My heart is pounding like a trip hammer. It happens sometimes when I finally wake up and realize where I am or what Ive been doing.

I dont expect to sleep either, not for a few hours, at least. Would you like to get something to eat?

That shocked me almost as much as waking up at his feet yelling out prayers to God. Me? Eat? I said inanely.

You do get hungry, dont you? There was a twinkle of humor in his coffee-colored eyes now. I realized that, although he had not thought my sleepwalking was funny, he was now amused by my wakefulness.

Of course I do, but look at me. Im wearing ridiculous pajamas and have squeezed toothpaste all over myself. Im hardly ready to be seen in public.

Change, Ill wait. I have all night.

Why, Im not sure, other than his compelling expression and the encouraging twitch of a smile on his face, but I got up and did his bidding.

I crawled over the stack of furniture, suitcases and detritus Id left at the door to my room, ditched the pajamas and slipped into the pair of jeans and sweater Id planned to wear tomorrow on the plane ride home. Hardly glamorous. Barely attractive, even. For the first time I realized that I seem to have critters of various breeds on all my clothing. The sweater was an old Ralph Lauren with the head of a horse knit right over my chest. Sheep, horses, what was next? Aardvarks?

Dr. Grant was still waiting for me in the small meeting room when I returned. He was reading a business magazine and when he looked up, he smiled. Oh, brother, did he smile. The boyish smile indicated a playfully charming side of Dr. Grant that his polished, sophisticated exterior did not. My heart started to pound again. Just what I didnt need right now. An attraction attack. Handsome as this man was, he would never see me again after tonight. Id already promised myself to make sure of it.

Ready? He stood from his chair like an athlete and I knew that beneath his tailored suit was a superb body, sinewy and strong.

Well, slap your own face, Suze! I had no business thinking about things like that .

I suppose so, even though I have no idea where well find an open restaurant at this time of night.

Not far from here, actually. Ive flown into Chicago from Europe before. After a few sleepless nights in the city, one discovers these things.

We went down the elevator together and other than an odd look from the man at the desk and a sleepy doorman, we escaped unnoticed. It was clear that I couldnt depend on even a doorman to keep me in the hotel if necessary.

Its just over a block from here. Do you mind walking?

You mean that if I did that you would call a cab to take us? Now that is a gentleman.

Of course.

Nonsense. Its a warm night. Lets go.

The diner was a hole-in-the-wall affair but surprisingly busy. Apparently there were more night owls out and about than I had realized. One man sat on a stool and swayed to the music from his iPod that only he could hear. A homeless man was curled up in a booth nursing a cup of coffee. A table full of male college students was laughing and talking.

Hey, Dr. Dave, back again? a man in a greasy apron greeted us. And a pretty lady with you this time.

What have you got thats good this time of night?

The pancakes are always good. The man gave us a grin in which every other tooth seemed to be missing. And I already started the soup for today. And making bread.

The charming doctor looked at me inquiringly.

Pancakes, I murmured. Early breakfast.

Very early. Toothless said, Ill bring you some bacon with that. Doc?

Ill have the same. And a couple eggs, easy over, please.

Gotcha.

And the same for my friend over there. The doctor pointed to the homeless man in the booth.

Nice of you. I was going to have to kick him out soon if he didnt order something to eat. Our waiter-chef-business owner turned away. He was wearing a white T-shirt that had shrunk in the wash and a pair of low-riding trousers with that plumber-under-the-sink sort of look.

I wondered wildly what Id gotten myself into now.

Good food, I realized, when he returned some moments later with stacks of high, fluffy pancakes topped with real butter and a pitcher of warm maple syrup. He set a large plate of eggs and bacon on the table between us and two side orders of sausage.

Thank you but I didnt order eggs.

He skewered me with an appraising glance.

Too skinny. Eat em. I like women with meat on their bones. He turned to my dining companion. How about you, Doc?

Now the two men were eyeing me.

I always respect the personal taste of others, the doctor said, obliquely. And the food looks great.

The other man didnt even know hed been dismissed.

Youre providing me with a veryspecialexperience, Dr. Grant. The food looks wonderful.

Please, call me David. He pushed the maple syrup my way. Lets eat first while the food is still warm. Well talk later.

I had no argument with him about the food. It was like ambrosia to my taste buds and to my own amazement, I cleaned my plate.

Settling back with a cup of steaming coffee, DoctorDavid, renewed his study of my face. Want to tell me about it?

About what? Of course I knew what he was talking about but played dumb anyway. Talking about my weird sleeping habits didnt make them go away.

How long has this been a problem for you?

I sighed. He wasnt going to give up without an answer. Forever, I think. My mother and father talk about finding me roaming around the house and talking in my sleep ever since I was a child. In fifth or sixth grade, I went to a slumber party, fell asleep and I turned into the evenings entertainment. I told everyone about all the boys I liked, why I liked them and which of them I planned to marry when I grew up. I also, with encouragement, got up and filled my own underwear with water and put it in the freezer. I nearly froze to death on my way home the next morning.

Some snitch, Mary Ellen Jenkins, I think, told everyone she knew. I practically had to wear a paper bag over my head for the rest of the year. I couldnt look anyone in the eyeespecially not the boys.

I stirred cream into my coffee and made a note to come back to this place every time I was in Chicago. The atmosphere was iffy but the food definitely made up for it. Things went downhill from there. School trips, overnights as a cheerleader when the team traveled, summer camp, sleepovers, all a disaster. No one ever knew what I was going to do, least of all me. I looked up at him, trying to smile. Lets just say it made me into a bit of a homebody. I didnt sleep away from home much until I went to college. Thankfully I met my friend Darla there. She was a gift from God. Even though I made a fool of myself plenty of times, who knows how many disasters she diverted?

Unexpectedly, tears came to my eyes. I wiped them away furiously, hating the vulnerability and frustration I felt. Im used to it by now.

I see that, David murmured, by the way it doesnt affect you.

Hed seen right through me.

You dont have to be cynical about it. Its just tears. Its not like my life is a big mess or anything.

You dont have to prove anything to me, Miss

Suze, call me Suze.

Suze. Ive seen hundreds of patients with your disorder, and it can make chaos of peoples lives.

Well, I havent murdered anyone if thats what you mean. Ive just come to accept the fact that this is the way I am and theres nothing that can be done about it.

Are you sure about that?

Yes, I am. Theres no way Im holding out hope any longer. Ive had my hopes up too many times and every time they have been dashed. Medications have failed, routines have been futile. There is nothing left to be done for me.

Id put my faith in several doctors, all of whom had disappointed me.

I cant say for sure, but I beg to differ.

Your other clients havent been me, I pointed out. Unless you have a team of brilliant scientists eager to solve an unanswerable question and the ability to work scientific miracles, Im never going to change. That is something I believe with my whole heart. I had a lifetime of tests, doctors and unhelpful advice to back up my theory.

Actually, I do, have brilliant scientists, I mean. I told you that Im administrator for an institute that studies problems such as yours. Ive got a very bright team who would be more than happy to take a look at you.

Study the newest monkey in the cage? I wasnt sure why I was being so stubborn about this whole thingdeathly embarrassment, I suppose, but I couldnt stop myself.

If thats how you think of it. Im not taking patients right now, but I do have a physician who is as good as any Ive ever met. I could get you in to see him if youd like.

A flicker of hope sparked within me but was immediately doused by all the failures Id experienced in the past.

Thank you, but Im not interested in having more electrodes attached to my head. Impulsively I laid my hand on his arm as it rested on the table. But I appreciate the offer. Youve been more than kind. I really dont know how to apologize for how I behaved earlier.

Would you apologize for being diabetic?

Of course not

Then dont apologize for this. Its a condition, Suze, not a crime. And it doesnt have to be a prison for life. I think we could help you.

Ive heard it before, I assured him. Thanks, but no thanks.

Even though he quietly laid his business card on the table and pushed it toward my hand, David was gracious enough to accept my rebuff and we finished our coffee chatting about safer thingsthe weather, the Minnesota Twins and road construction around the citynothing that even hinted at nighttime meanderings.