So. Long.: Bad Boy Next Door (22 page)

“You didn’t?” I try to focus on his face, but he blurs in
and out. Something must be wrong with him. “Then why’re you here?”

“I came because you’re a stubborn son-of-a-bitch who needs a
rectal craniectomy. The drinking is a bonus. I’ll yank your head outta your ass
tomorrow.”

“Oh. Okay.” I slump on my stool. Then his words register in
my muddled mind. “Hey. Wait a minute…”

Romans shoves another drink into my hand. “Shut up and
drink, asshole. You called. I came. Leave it at that.”

I down the drink.

Kelsey’s image lingers on my mind. It always circles around
to her. Every thought comes back to her. “She’s the
only
one, you know?”

“I know.” He nods. “You’ll get her back.”

I lean toward him, whispering, “
How
do you know?”

“Because, life has shit on you enough. And you’re a good
guy. One of the best I know.”

Carter said that to me once. Then he was gone. I can’t let
anything happen to Romans before he knows how much he means to me. “I love you
too, dickwad. You’re like a brother to me.”

Romans clinks his glass to mine and takes another shot. I
follow suit.

“But she—she don’t want me. You know? And my dumbass dog. He
stole her food, and then he
humped
her mom. I think that pissed her off.
It would’ve pissed me off. Then I thought I had her back. But then—daaaamn. A
baby? That surprised the shit outta me. And I had to go help Jen. Now, well
now—I’m just stupid.”

A thump on the back of my head makes the room sway and the
ceiling spin. I look to my left and right. Wait. No. I look to my right and
then my left. Or—ah, fuck it.

Wow. Look at all the shoes. Boots, sneakers, and girl
shoes—whatever those’re called. There’s a red one. Not like Kelsey’s,
but…reminds me of her and her legs. And her ass. And her sugar glider. And her
sweet heart.

And that reminds me of the way she takes care of Clarissa.
And how she stood up to that fuck-face she was married to. The way she looks at
me, her blue eyes trusting and—

The world takes a spin around my head. I swipe at my eyes,
trying to slow it down.

Rex’s face blurs in and out before clearing. “You all
right?”

I give him a thumbs-up. “Course I am. Why are you way up
there
?”

He comes closer. “Because I’m not on the floor. You are.”

“Dude, if I crawl to her house on my hands and knees, do you
think she’d take me back? If I vow my undying love and devotion? If I—”

The heaviness in my brain pulls me under its cloak.

Lights flash on the other side of my eyelids, but they’re
too heavy to lift and check out what’s going on.

“Fuck, Hardick, you’re a heavy son of a bitch. Wake your ass
up and help me. I’m a one-legged motherfucker. I can’t haul your drunk ass
everywhere.”

I crack one dry eye enough to see Romans’ ugly mug. “Back
the fuck off, man. You’re in my space.”

“Your space is in this cab—this guy wants his seat back.
Roll the fuck outta there.”

I fall out of the cab.

Damn. The ground is way closer than I thought it’d be.

I manage to get to my feet, but almost trip. “Hey, who
wrinkled the pave-pave-mint?”

“This way, Hardick.” Romans calls. “Follow the sound of my
voice. We’re gonna get you inside before you pass out and I have to leave your
ass in the street for the night.”

I pry my eyes open. Kelsey’s front door beckons me.

Her house staggers toward me, while the walkway grabs at my
feet.

Hands grip my arms, but I won’t be deterred. I twist out of
Romans’ grasp.

“I need to tell her.” I cup my hands around my mouth and
holler. “Kelsey! Beau-ful Girl, c’mere! You need to know sumpin’.”

“Dude. You’re going to wake the neighbors.”

“Fuck the neighbors. Kelsey!” I manage to out-maneuver
Romans and get to her porch first. “Ha! I beat you, mutha- fuckah.”

“Kiss my crippled ass. I only have one leg. Beating me
anywhere ain’t much to brag about.”

Banging on her door, I lean my forehead against it as I
yell. “Beau-ful Girl! I need you.”

The light flips on and suddenly, I’m falling—face-first into
Kelsey’s entryway.

Whoa.

“What on Earth?” Her sweet voice is a balm to my buzzing
head.

“I’m so sorry. I tried to get his drunk ass to his house,
but—”

“Romans, stop.” I hold up a hand. “We needa t-t-talk, Kels.”

A little black and white face peeks around Kelsey’s ankle.

Kelsey says, “From here, it looks like you need to go to
bed.”

“Firsly, I havta tell you…I don’t wanchoo to go on da-dates
with other fuckers. I mean, guys. I’m the only man you need. Sides, I’m the
daddy.”

I roll to my back so I can see her beautiful fa—

Oops. Wish I hadn’t done that.

Hard, blue eyes glare, and her mouth is a thin line.

“Sorry, Adam, but you don’t always get what you want. And
I’ll
be the one to decide what I need.”

“But I-I-I love you, Kels-Kelskey.”

She lets out a huff and crosses her arms. “Just because you
finally got your rocks off, doesn’t mean you love me. That’s the liquor talking
for your dick.”

I shake my head as my heart shrivels. “No. You gotta—I havta
make ya understand—”

“I do understand, Adam. What you love is your cock getting
its own. But don’t worry. Now that you’ve worked through that issue, I’m sure
you won’t have that problem with anyone else. You’re probably good to go from
here forward. And don’t worry about that daddy thing. I’ll take care of that.”

My mouth feels numb, so I touch it, to make sure it’s still
there.

It’s there. Maybe she just can’t hear me right.

I talk louder to help her out. “No. Thas not it.”

“Shush. You’re going to wake up Clarissa.”

“Aw. I wanna see Clarissa. She’s so freaking cu-cute.” I
twist to catch Romans’ attention. “Dude! Kelsey has the sleetest lil’ girl.
Quiet, but f-fucking awesome. I love that Pip.”

She tosses a disgusted look to Romans. “Take him home.
Please.”

Suddenly, the world blacks out, and my nose sears with pain
as a spiked trap clamps down on it. A handful of little needles stab my face
and a couple dig into my ear. “Yow! What the hells?”

“Oh my gosh. Chloe! No. Bad kitty.” Kelsey drags the cat
from my face, tiny claws surely leaving permanent marks across my cheeks.

I grab my nose. “That lil’ sh-shit bit me.”

Rex pushes his hands beneath me. “C’mon, Hardick. You’re
gonna have to help me get you vertical.”

I’m exhausted. All of my energy is gone, and I can’t think
no more. “I don’t wanna be versical. Jus lemme shleep here.”

I roll into a ball.

I’ll only nap for a minute. Then I’ll convince Kelsey that I
love her, not just my cock.

I shut the bedroom door to block the whiskey-wheeze coming
from the living room.

At least we were able to get him completely inside, instead
of half in and half out of the doorway. His friend from the fundraiser seemed
fine with leaving him on my porch, if need be. Of course, he wasn’t exactly
sober either.

I guess I got lucky that I don’t have two guys sleeping it
off on my living room floor. Ron or Ralph or—Oh,
Rex
…he went over to
crash at Adam’s place. I think. I hope.

Why is it that drinking always makes people love everyone
they see? Or hate them. I guess it works both ways.

He loves me. My ass, he loves me.

He wouldn’t have ignored my texts for so long if he loved
me. Would he?

I shove my feet under the sheet, yanking the covers to my
chin. Crossing my arms over the blanket, I close my eyes.

I twitch. I itch. I scratch. I roll to the left. To the
right.

I open my eyes.

I stare at the darkened ceiling.

Wonder if he’s cold? The temperature for the air conditioner
is set kind of low.

No. He deserves to be cold.

Drunken dumbass.

Then again, he’d make sure I was comfortable. He always
does.

I let out a sigh and throw the covers off.

After I dig out an extra pillow and blanket from the top of
the linen closet, I tiptoe into the living room.

Adam sprawls across the floor. His face is relaxed. The
scratches Chloe marked him with are dark, while the scar on his chin seems to
have all but disappeared, hidden in the shadows, with the nightlight casting
its glow over him.

My heart hitches.

He’s so perfectly gorgeous.

I push a pillow under his head.

He mutters, “I wanna be the one.”

I slip the blanket over his muscular form, softened somehow
with sleep.

His nostrils flare, and he tosses his head to the side. “You
gotta believe me.”

I tuck the covers under his arms.

As I pull away, his big hand grabs my wrist. I tug, but he
won’t let go.

“Don’t leave.”

“Adam?” I whisper.

Is he even awake?

His voice softens. “Please don’t leave me.”

I lean in to kiss his forehead. “I’m going to bed.”

Adam pushes the covers aside and drags me down next to him.
“Stay.”

He entwines his arms and legs with mine as he pulls me
closer. I swallow the heated knot in the back of my throat as I relax against
his body.

God, I’ve missed these arms.

My back has longed for his chest to be pressed hard against
it. I’ve craved the feel of him wrapped around me—and the way he warms my soul.

I’ll stay here for a little while. He’ll let go of me soon,
and I’ll sneak away. But, for the moment, it won’t hurt if I soak this up—a
bonus chance to have him hold me for the last time.

The tears blur my vision, so I blink them away. A couple of
renegades escape and make a path down my cheek. I pull in a shuddering breath.

I can’t let him get to me. Just because he thinks he wants
me, doesn’t mean he does.

And my wanting him isn’t enough to make this work.

A baby is a lot of stress on a relationship. Trying to make
it work because of one would be asinine.

I have to be strong. For me and for Clarissa. And this baby.

And I will.

I’ll be strong.

Tomorrow.

* * *

Adam’s fingertips glide along my arm. My head rests on his
bicep, and his breaths keep rhythm with mine. I keep my eyes closed.

A minute longer—then I’ll stop him. I’ll give myself this
moment of bliss before it’s ruined.

I steel myself for another bad day and crack my lids.

A beady little eye hangs from a string and stares me down. I
try to pull back, but there’s nowhere to go since I’m already on my back, and
the critter keeps coming closer.

“Good morning, Larry Bear.” I push the one-eyed teddy away.

Clarissa sits astride Adam’s belly, still in her jammies,
her bear in her clutches as she bounces and giggles.

He pulls his arm from beneath me and picks her up, lifting
her high. Her legs bicycle in the air, but she throws her arms out to the sides
like an airplane and grins down on us.

He swings Clarissa over his head, setting her down on the
carpet. “All right, Pipsqueak. Let’s give your mom a minute to wake up. How
about you and me go get some breakfast started?”

Breakfast? “Aren’t you hung over?”

He rolls to me and kisses my temple. His face is a scratched
up mess, and his nose has bite marks on both sides.

“Hangovers are for puss—” His eyes dart to Clarissa. “Um, wimps.”

I grin. “It’s not like she’s going to repeat it. But, thank
you for being mindful of little ears.”

He hops up and allows Clarissa to drag him to the kitchen as
though he wasn’t in this very spot last night, drunk as hell and declaring his
love for me right before he passed out. No hangover. No headache.

My stomach clenches and convulses.

Oh. Shit.

I clamp my hand over my mouth and make a run for the toilet.

Well, I guess I’ll have his hangover for him.

I take my time in the bathroom, even after the nausea passes
and I’m cleaned up.

Will Adam even remember last night?

Will he say anything about me all curled up next to him?

I slept on the floor, and it was the best sleep I’ve had
since he last held me through the night.

I let out a ragged breath and head to the kitchen.

Clarissa stands in a chair, the biggest spoon I own in hand,
stirring what might be pancake batter, except it’s gray.

Adam dumps a handful of chocolate chips into the bowl.
“There, that ought to make them perfect.”

A fine layer of flour dust covers almost every surface,
along with Clarissa and Adam. Goo leaks from a broken egg—off the edge of the
counter, dripping onto the floor.

I scrape the eggshell and what’s left of the mess that goes
with it into my hand. “Is this breakfast or a science experiment gone bad?”

“Maybe both. Clarissa wanted a rainbow in her pancake.
Problem is, the colors all mixed together, and now, we have that.” He indicates
the bowl.

I rinse my hands. “How do you know she wanted rainbow
pancakes?”

“She told me.”

My heart stutters. “What? She
told
you? What did she
say
?”

His eyes go wide.

“Oh. No. Sorry.” He nods to the drawing on the fridge. Five
lines of different colors stripe the page. “She didn’t
tell
me with
words. She pointed to the picture.”

“And you got rainbow pancakes from that?”

He grins. “Well, it took a minute and a few tries, but she
does know how to clap and giggle. So when I got it right, she let me know.”

I press my hand to my heart, and all the mushiness I’ve ever
felt sweeps in. “I-I—”

Watching Adam with Clarissa, the way he talks to her,
listens to what she says when she’s not uttering a word, the way he keeps
tossing looks my way, as though he’s pleading with me to hear what he’s saying—it’s
almost more than I can bear.

He lets Clarissa feed him a giant spoonful of raw,
gray
pancake batter and he smacks and grins, telling her how delicious it is. A hot
tear finds its way out of the corner of my eye.

Can he love her? Does he really love me like he said last
night? Will he love this baby and stick around to see it grow up?

The doorbell peals, saving me from making an idiot of myself
over this man, this man I have no idea how to read. Obviously, he isn’t what I
thought, or maybe—oh hell, I don’t even know.

“I’ll get it. Don’t let her fall off the chair.”

Adam salutes. “Yes, ma’am.”

Matt stands on my porch.

Great, just who I was hoping to see—
never
.

The nausea roars back to life, but I hold my ground.

I won’t get sick in front of him. He might think he’s the
reason. Asshat.

“Here are the kid’s things. She left them at my parents’.”
He shoves a plastic grocery bag toward me. “Mom insisted I bring the stuff
myself.”

I stifle the urge to throw it at his head. “You want to say
hi to your daughter?”

Matt pushes his fingers through his hair. “I’m paying the
fucking child support. Why can’t you be happy with that? Looks like you’ve got
your hooks in me for the next fourteen years or so.”

My jaw drops and my stomach hollows, trembling with anger. “You
are such a
colossal
asshole.”

“You should talk nicer to me, bitch. I’ve earned everything
you enjoy right now. If you have it, it’s because of me and
my
hard
work.”

All the years of him telling me how I should be
more
grateful,
appreciate him doing what a husband and father
should
do, and be
thankful
he provided for his wife and child come to the forefront of my memory. It’s as
if every time he ever said something to that effect has swollen into one huge
ball of rage inside me.

I suck in a great breath and let it out in a haughty laugh
with a razor-sharp edge. “
Really?
Well, I hate to break it to you,
jackass, but seven years of
walking
on eggshells,
dancing
to your
tune,
laughing
at your bad jokes, and
stroking
your enormous ego
says that
I
earned everything I’ve gotten.”

Matt’s eyes widen as though he can’t believe what I’ve said.

I raise my voice another notch. “And that doesn’t even
include all the nights I spent alone, worried and wondering where you were when
you were off fucking my best friend. You lied to me and used me to wash your
fucking clothes, cook your stupid meals, and clean your god-damned house. So you
can kiss my ass.”

He gives me a greasy grin. “Kiss your ass? My lips will
never
touch your ass again.”

“Oh, big loss there. Even when they did, it wasn’t all that
great anyway.”

Matt’s expression hardens and he comes at me, grabbing my
shoulders and pushing me against the door. “Get this straight. She’s
not
my responsibility anymore. We’ve been through this.”

I can’t let Matt win. He can
never
win.

“She
is
your responsibility.”

His grip tightens.

I narrow my eyes and speak through clenched teeth. “You
can’t walk out on her like you walked out on me.”

“We’ll see about that.”

I grab his forearms and dig my nails into his flesh. If only
I could rip his skin off and make him eat his words. “You have no idea how I
wish—”

Suddenly, a wall of muscle separates Matt from me.

“You will
never
touch her again.” Adam’s voice is as
hard as my anger. “Never.”

Crap.

Why would Adam do that?

He walks straight at Matt, who backs away, looking at me as
though I’ve done something wrong. “This guy
again
?”

Adam pushes Matt. “Yeah.
This
guy.”

Under my breath, I say, “Uh oh.”

Matt stumbles backward off the porch, landing on his ass. He
jumps to his feet, fists flying.

Oh Lord, this is seriously bad.

Adam ducks the first punch and lands a jab to Matt’s ribs.

My lungs snatch at the air, trying to catch my breath, but
somehow I can’t. So I clamp my arms over
my
ribs.

With a grunt, Matt grabs his side and staggers backward. His
mouth hardens and his eyes narrow. He lunges at Adam, who dodges to the left
and leaves Matt stumbling across the walkway.

Matt comes at him again.

I close my eyes.

Adam’s going to get hurt defending me.

I peek through my lashes, unable to stop myself from looking
to see what will happen next.

I flinch as Adam lands a punch square in Matt’s face.

He grabs his nose. Blood drips from under his hand.

When Matt turns, zeroing in on me, Adam shakes his head and
steps between us. “Don’t even—”