Sojourner (12 page)

“Don’t.  Please.”  His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard.  He looks at the clock on the dashboard.  “We should get inside before the tardy bell.”  He closes his eyes for a moment and, bit by bit, releases my hand.

I don’t want to get out, but he’s already opening his door and grabbing his book bag.  Besides, neither of us needs to ditch, not considering this horrible weather.  Where would we go?  We walk to the building, and as usual, everybody stares at me, this time for different reasons.  Since I’ve been at Hauser High, I’ve had nothing but drama surrounding me, and to add to that, here I am, with Lev, and Lev doesn’t make it a point to show interest in anyone.  His arm drapes my shoulder protectively, warming me.

On the way to my locker, we pass Griffin, Gail, and Matt at Matt’s locker.  Although Gail’s lips twitch into a big grin, Griffin’s expression sours, as if he can’t really believe I’m walking with Lev when he was one of the contenders.  Does this mean I’m off the hook for lunch?

At my locker, I get the answer as Lev says, “Don’t look now but your friendly neighborhood stalker is headed this way.  He just doesn’t give up.”

Griffin sports a big smile.  His dark hair matches the black sweater draping his chest, effectively hinting at muscles in all the right places for the ladies who might be watching.  Or caring.  His gold watch sparkles in the light, suggesting its expense.  Leaning against a locker next to mine, he folds his arms and pretends not to notice that Lev’s arm still drapes around me.

“So, are we on for lunch?”  He ignores Lev altogether.

“Sure,” I say, nodding to Lev.  “If he can come.”

 His grin dies in small degrees and he straightens, moving away from the locker.  “That’s not part of the deal.  I thought lunch was a way to say thank you.”

“It is,” I assure him, grabbing my history book.  “I can do that with Lev present.  He won’t mind.”

Although Griffin is still marginally pleasant, he offers Lev a hostile look.  “What if I mind?”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to hope a simple thank you will do.”  Closing the locker, I lean against Lev and offer a sweet smile. 

“Then I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it because I don’t think Walker and I have anything to talk about.”  Griffin just shakes his head and walks away.  Gail looks at me and catches up to Griffin, joining his march to his own locker.

“Satisfied?”  I lean against Lev’s chest, savoring the way my head tucks under his chin.

“Thank you.”  His grin seems lighter somehow, as though all the cares of the world have suddenly left him and he is now weightless, which makes me wonder what is really going on between Griffin and Lev.

“I thought you said you weren’t jealous.”  We walk to his locker and he drops his arm from my back and grabs my hand.

“No, I just said that wasn’t what was bothering me.”  He is in the middle of fishing out his books when Celia pops over, a broomstick skirt falling almost to her calves billowing with her stride.  A pink sweater completes the ensemble, warming her skin tone.

“Look who’s back!” she cheers, smiling.  “It’s really good to see you, Lizzie.”  Her gaze wanders from my face to Lev’s and back again.

“Well, I’d say I’ve missed it, but I wouldn’t want to lie.”

“Course not.”  She winks.  “Do you have lunch plans?” 

“I dunno.”  I bat my eyelashes at Lev in a mock flirtation.  “Do I?”

“What do you think?”  He grabs a book and notebook before slamming the locker door.  “Unless you really want to eat with Hauser….”

“Not funny.”  I smack my spiral against his chest.  “So I guess you’re definitely stuck with me.”

“Poor Lev.”  Celia shakes her head.  “You won’t be able to handle this one.”

“If that’s a bet, you’ll lose,” he murmurs, toying with a strand of my hair.  Feeling his light touch, I turn toward him, our eyes locking.  My breath turns shallow while staring at his beautiful face.

“Elizabeth?” Lev says.  “We’d better get to class before the bell rings.”

I blink slowly, my thoughts fogged.  It’s a few seconds before I realize Celia has already gone and most of the hall is deserted.

“I’m surprised the bell hasn’t already rung.  Did you set the clock to Indian time or something?” I ask innocently.

“Ha ha.”  Grabbing my hand, Lev leads me down into the classroom just as the tardy bell rings.  We find our seats before Mr. Maguire enters the room.  As I sit next to Griffin, I can feel undisguised animosity.  Ignoring him, I  open my book to chapter twelve as noted on the board.  Then I realize how distracting Lev’s blond hair is.

But there is also something else.  It’s the same shimmering at his shoulders that appears like liquid light filtered through a prism in the same way the late afternoon sun would look filtered through a sprinkler.  But this time, in addition to the way the air seems to shimmer, it also seems to reflect more than usual.  So bright.

Then again, he is sitting by the window, and the sun is making an appearance today, glittering off the snow.  It’s possible I’m seeing things, I guess.  Frowning, I peer around the room, trying to gauge if anyone else is distracted. 

No one sees it.  Even Griffin has stopped paying any mind to me and jots notes from the board, something I don’t think he’s resorted to in years.  Gail would probably take his notes and write his assignments.  There’s got to be a reason he keeps her around, after all.

The more I think about it, the more I realize I’m the only one who sees it, because let’s face it, the weird glow would top world history any day.  Even Mr. Maguire hasn’t realized there is a white light in the center of the room, and he sees Lev as well as I do.

Without realizing it, I’m trembling.  Just another way my life and this nightmare are alike.  There are so many things that don’t make sense, and if my eyes hurt from this bright light surrounding Lev, why is everyone else so obtuse?  I want to raise my hand, but I know better.  If they did see it, they would be reacting.  So am I hallucinating?  Am I having a different kind of nightmare?  None of it makes any sense.

So instead of dwelling on it, I force myself to listen to Mr. Maguire’s voice and jot my own notes, planning on talking to Lev later, even though I have a feeling that will get me nowhere.

Just before lunch, Lev finds me shoving my books in my locker.  He grins at my method, and once the locker door slams shut, we both hear a few books tumble against it.

“That could be interesting,” he says, eyeing the door, “Especially when you open it again.”

“That’s after lunch,” I say, grabbing his hand.  “Right now we’re at lunch.  Though I do think someone else has lost his appetite.”  I nod toward where Griffin stands at the cafeteria entry, glaring.  “You ready to eat?”

“Yeah.”

“So why did you want me to stay away from him?”  I smile, hoping this time I’ll get answers.

Griffin scowls and storms off, Gail trailing behind, trying to assuage his ego.  Matt just grins and shakes his head, which neither of us quite understands, but then that’s Matt.  Nobody understands Matt really.  Not even Matt.

“Because he has a bad temper and thinks he owns whatever he wants.  It’s a nasty combination.”  His grip tightens, and he pulls me closer.  “And he doesn’t own you.”

“You got that right,” I mutter, shaking my head as we walk into the cafeteria.  I watch what is coming out of the lunch line.  Pizza.  No thanks, the spaghetti was bad enough.

“What do you want?” he asks, looking from the hot food line to the salad bar.

“The salad.  It’s…safer.”

“Good point.”  We both walk to the salad bar and pile a plate of veggies before picking one of the few uninhabited tables around the room.  In the distance, I see Shelly and Bree already at their table.  Shelly waves to me, inviting us over, but I point to the one we’ve chosen and mouth the words, “We’ll talk later.”  She smiles and nods.

 Lev immediately begins eating and I stare at him, the flawless profile and blunt line of his jaw.  And then he looks up, his expression unsure. 

“Okay, what’s up with the staring?”

I shrug.  “What do you mean?  I’m not staring.”

“Yeah, well, what’s going on in your devious mind?”  He sets his fork down, obviously waiting for my response.

“Devious?”

“Yeah, now share.”

“You’re going to think I’m nuts.”  I toy with my napkin.  “Really, really nuts.”

“You’re assuming I don’t already think you’re crazy.” he chuckles.  “That’s what I call blind optimism.”  He waits for me to go on and looks up when I don’t.  “And?”

“Have you ever met someone who’s really different?”  I spear a bite of salad.

“Yeah, you.”

I laugh, realizing he has no clue what I’m getting at.  “No, Lev, I mean
really
different.  You see things about them you can’t explain.”

“Can’t say I have.”  His smile dwindles to the guarded expression I’ve often seen, and he seems to focus on eating.  I wait to see if he’ll ask for more, but he doesn’t.

“Lev, no matter how I try to ask any of this, it’s going to sound weird, so I might as well just throw it out there.” 

“Maybe I don’t want to play catch.”  His jaw tightens slightly and he picks up his milk to take a drink. 

“Too bad.  I’m tired of trying to pretend I’m not seeing what I’m seeing.  Do you realize I’ve had dreams about you ever since I can remember?”

“Mmmm.”  He frowns.  “So maybe I really don’t exist.  Maybe I’m a figment of your imagination.”  He wipes his mouth.  “Now that’s a thought.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying.  Lev, when I look at you, I see things, weird things.  You…shimmer…like there’s more to you than what everyone sees.”

“All right, then.”  He reaches over and touches my forehead.  “Your fever hasn’t come back, has it?”

I bat his hand away.  “Be serious!”

“I’m trying, Elizabeth, but the things you say.”  He nonchalantly leans back in his chair.

“Answer my questions.  Tell me why I dream about you.”  I take a bite and stare at him.

“How would I know?  It’s not like I have control over your unconscious mind.”  He folds his arms across his chest and shakes his head.

“I just want answers.  This is driving me insane.”

“Lunch time is almost over.”  He nods to the clock above where we dump trays.  “So you might want to eat.”

Disgusted, I drop my fork into the salad and try to reign in my temper.  It doesn’t help when I feel his hand slip atop mine, his fingers gently caressing my skin.  When I look up, I find myself swimming in those blue eyes.

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“There’s nothing to tell.”  His rough voice sounds like he’s hiding something, but I have no way of getting past the walls he’s set up, and Celia has made it clear she won’t talk about her brother.  So I’m pretty much at a standstill. Shaking my head, I get up.

“I think I’ve had enough.”  I feel the pent up frustration that’s been building since we moved to this hole-in-the-wall town nearing an explosive level.  Jimmie wants to protect me.  Lev wants to protect me.  Gail wants to shoot me.  Griffin wants…something unmentionable.  And I still don’t have any answers.

“But you’ve barely eaten.”  He also rises.

“I wasn’t talking about lunch, Lev.”  As I start to walk away, he grabs my hand.

“What kind of dreams do you have?  Are they good or bad?” he asked, his words stumbling over one another.