Sojourner (15 page)

“You okay?”  Lev draws closer, mistakenly assuming my chill has anything to do with body temperature.

“Yeah, I’m just going to be grounded for the rest of my life.”  I chew my bottom lip, already imagining Jimmie’s reaction.  “Jimmie freaked earlier, and I took off because I couldn’t handle the drama.  He tried calling me because he was worried, and I hung up on him.”

Lev shakes his head disbelievingly.  “You hung up on him?  My existence would end if I did that to my dad.”  He just keeps shaking his head, bewildered.  “So what was the drama about?”

“Remember the spray paint in my locker?”  I wait for him to nod.  “This time it was sprayed across our garage door.”  I feel Lev’s entire body stiffen, and he grits his teeth.  “What’s wrong?”

“So soon,” he whispers.  A pained look crosses his face and his arm tightens around me.

“What do you mean?” 

He nods at his father, and the EMTs arrive.  Jimmie starts out behind them but rushes forward.  “Elizabeth!” he yells.

“Is she all right?”  Griffin appears.  His face is pale and he looks shaken. 

“You get the hell out!”  Jimmie abruptly turns and grabs Griffin’s collar.  Griffin just stands there, allowing Jimmie to almost throttle him before a cop separates the two.  Then Jimmie turns back to me.  Before I can speak, he starts to wrap me in a tight bear hug but Evan intercedes.

“We didn’t want to move her because she might have broken bones.”

Jimmie abruptly stops and nods as he leans over without touching me, overcome with emotion.  “I thought I’d lost you.  I had the scanner running and I heard the call.”

“I’m okay.”

Tears fill his eyes.  “You are so grounded, girl.”  He can barely talk, and I know when the fear wears off, the anger will kick in, and I deserve it. 

The EMTs come around him.  One puts a brace on my neck.  The other begins to slide a board under me with Jimmie’s help.  Then they lift the board and slowly carry me to the ambulance so I can go back to the hospital for yet another go round.

So I play nice and let the EMTs load me up, watching Lev and his father from a distance as they talk to Jimmie.  When they’re ready to leave, Jimmie nods and slips into the back of the ambulance.  He perches nearby while the EMT barrages me with questions I could answer in my sleep.

Jimmie’s shirt pocket bulges with his pack of smokes; he’s as stressed as he can get.  He rakes his fingers through his hair, his face a chalky white, and stares out the back window until we pull up at the hospital.  Already I’m cataloging answers to his future questions I know will come hard and fast.

In the ER, the EMTs roll me into an exam room.  I’m there a total of twenty minutes before I am taken for x-rays and then re-deposited back in the same exam room to wait for the doctor.  I calmly sit on the gurney, having changed into one of their cute little hospital gowns because it’s warmer than my wet clothes.  Jimmy doesn’t sit and is far from calm, really starting to get pissed. 

“What happened?”

Taking a deep breath, I figure at least some semblance of truth will be the best bet.  “I was taking pictures at the falls and fell over the rail.”

His eyes bulge and I hear his sharp intake of breath.  Having been through enough with Jimmy freaking out, I know he’s probably counting to calm down.  When he manages to get his emotions under control, he’ll ask the next question.

“I’m sorry I hung up on you.  I knew something had happened with my dad.  I just never put the pieces together.”  I close my eyes and white knuckle the gurney.

“So what was the Hauser kid doing there, claiming he’d killed you?  He wouldn’t shut up, and the cops had to pull me away from him before my fists flew.  He panicked, Elizabeth.  What was that about?”  He shakes his head and keeps pacing.

“He what?”  My eyes fly open.

“He said he killed you.”  He stops and leans close.  “And so help me God, I wanted to throttle him.  So tell me what that was about.”

I frown and try to figure out how to explain what happened.  “It wasn’t his fault.  Gail and Matt were with him and messing around, pushing each other.  Matt must have pushed Gail too hard; she flew at me and I lost my balance.  Griffin tried to grab me but my gloves slipped off.  He couldn’t save me.”

When I close my eyes, I remember every detail; I see their faces shrinking, and I see that bright light.

The bright light.

“Seems like Lev’s a good kid.”  He glares at me.  “He somehow always knows when you’re in trouble and gets there when I can’t.”  He pulls out the pack of smokes and sees the no smoking sign.  “This is the second time he’s saved you.  I don’t know how or why, but I’m damned grateful.”

I know I should be grateful, too, and part of me is, but another part keeps going back to that bright light.  There’s something I’m not remembering.  Something important. 

I sense movement in the doorway and I look up to find Griffin.  I grab a blanket and drape it around me, embarrassed.  His face is still ashen and he looks from Jimmie to me, unsure what to say.  Jimmie gives him a baleful look and then shakes his head.  A vein throbs in his temple and his fingers curl into fists.

“It’s not Griffin’s fault, Jimmie,” I say, watching as his whole body tenses like a rocket ready to launch.  I grab his shoulder.  “He tried to save me.  At least give him that much.”

“You’ve got five minutes and then you’d better be gone.”  He glares at me and then shakes his head.  “I’m going to get coffee.  Don’t let the doc start without me.”

Griffin waits until Jimmie walks out before entering.  He opens and closes his mouth several times without saying a word.  I should be laughing because I’ve finally seen him speechless.  Under other circumstances I probably would.  I just can’t find much funny.

“I’m…sorry.”  He’s breathing fast and can’t look me in the eyes.

“It’s okay,” I say.  “I’m not damaged.  Promise.”

He winces as though he’s in pain.  “You don’t get it, Lizzie.  I tried so hard.  You just kept slipping.  I…thought you were dead, and it was all my fault.  Every time I close my eyes, I just keep seeing that.”

“I’m far from dead, Griffin.  Just a little damp.”  It feels like time is standing still as silence envelops us.  I’m sure that Griffin has a lot to say to me but right now words won’t come.

Jimmie reappears in the doorway with his coffee.  In his other hand he carries a cup of hot chocolate for me.  He gives Griffin a meaningful shove-off look.  He tries to take a sip, but it’s still too hot.

“This ought to warm you up.”  He hands me the cup, purposely stepping in front of Griffin.

“I’m sorry,” Griffin says, slipping his hands deep into his pockets.  When he walks off, his steps are uneven, and I wonder if this whole thing will finally cure him of the overblown ego.

No sooner does Griffin leave than the doctor appears with the x-rays.  He examines me carefully and finds, to his shock, I’ve got a few scratches, and it will be amazing if I don’t wind up with pneumonia, but other than that, there’s nothing wrong.  All the while he talks, I’m thinking of that blinding light, trying to figure out what really happened.

“I just don’t believe it,” the doctor says, shaking his head.  “That’s one rough stretch of the river and you emerged with barely a scratch.”  He writes discharge instructions that focus on rest and observation, both of which are things I hate, and knowing Jimmie, I’m sure he’ll follow those rules to the ‘t.’

After the doctor leaves, Lev pops in carrying a set of his sweats and Jimmie’s keys.  “I parked in the back row so it would be easy to find,” he says, giving Jimmie the keys.  “If you give me a key, I’ll get Elizabeth’s Jeep  back to the house.”  Then he turns to me and hands me the clothes and shoes.  “Big but at least they’re dry.  Anyway, they’re better than that beautiful gown you’re wearing”

“Thanks.”  I draw the blanket tighter around my body as Jimmie gives him his spare key to my Jeep.

“Don’t mention it, Ariel,” he smirks.

“Ariel?” 

He shrugs.  “You seem to like water so much part of you has to be a mermaid.  Nobody can keep you dry.”  He pats my shoulder.  “You better go home and get some rest.  I’ll call you tomorrow.”  He gives me one last look with those blue eyes.

“Kay,” I reply, doubting that I’m going to be talking to anyone any time soon.

As Lev turns, Jimmie sets his hand on Lev’s shoulder.  For a moment he can’t manage words, but then he looks Lev in the eye and his shoulders sag.  “Son, I want to thank you for driving my car here so I could ride in the ambulance and for taking care of my Lizzie.  Again.  I wouldn’t know what to do without her.”  Jimmie’s voice breaks slightly and his eyebrows bunch together. 

“That makes two of us.”  Lev nods a farewell to both of us and strides out, leaving Jimmie and me alone.

“I’ll step out to let you get dressed.  Do you want me to call a nurse to help?” 

“No, I can manage.” 

“I’ll be back.”  He walks to the door but at the threshold pauses and half turns, his fingers gripping the doorframe.  “You’re gonna be the death of me, Lizzie.  You got too much of your old man’s stubbornness for my own good.  Quit trying to give me a heart attack.”  Without waiting for my response he closes the door and walks away.

As I start to dress, I find a folded note jammed between the sweatshirt and pants.  After I slip on the clothes, I open it.

Elizabeth,

I know that you think Jimmie is overprotective. But the danger is real.  We’re looking out for you because we love you.  Give us both a break, and stay safe.  I only have one heart and you are carrying it.

Lev

My breath catches and I lose my balance and grip the gurney, dumbfounded.  My hand trembles.  I never thought I really mattered.  I thought I was an obligation to Jimmie because of my parents, and I thought that Lev was just being Lev.  Suddenly more than one thing is really out of focus and I’m not sure what to do.

Chapter Ten

That night I feel the blackness when I turn out the light.  The shadows bruise, and it’s hard to breathe.  I’m falling into the water, then nothing.  I can’t remember what happened, and it terrifies me.  I try to get comfortable, knowing Jimmie isn’t far.  I’m beginning to wonder if he’ll have any vacation days when we actually want to take a trip.  To tell the truth, right now I can’t see past the nightmares, the accidents or the graffiti.  It’s all too much.  My brain is spinning and won’t shut off.

I’ve tucked Lev’s note under my pillow.  One hand rests atop it, as if that will drive away all the demons, the unknown.  So I close my eyes and try to go back, step by step.  I snap a picture.  Gail bumps me.  I fall.  I stare into that blue sky suddenly blinded by the sun as it slips from behind a cloud.  It’s so bright.

I hit the water and sink.  But then what?  It’s like having a rock sitting on my memory, pressing the truth further and further into me.  I can’t see.

“Focus, Elizabeth,” I tell myself, sitting upright in bed and folding my legs criss-cross, a meditative pose, I’m sure, but I’m willing to do practically anything to remember.  Frowning, I keep tugging at the memory until I remember the way the light exploded.  Then the warmth surrounding me, a warmth and rustling I can’t account for.  Lev’s arms embrace me and there’s something wrapped around us both that keeps the water from us, stilling my breath as he talks me to sleep.

Stunned, I try to picture Lev in class and focus on the shimmering, taking it apart and trying to put it back in a way that makes sense and shows me what I need to understand.  I know the answers are there.  What was shielding us?