Something Like Rain (Something Like... Book 8) (21 page)

“Hey,” William said, voice raw. He moved forward to take one of his hands. “How are you?”

Kelly smacked his lips a few times. “Thirsty.”

“I’ll get him some water.” The nurse went to fetch it.

William didn’t waste time. He kneeled next to Kelly’s bedside, clutching his hand tighter. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry!”

Kelly’s expression grew somber. “Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t,” William said, wiping at the tears tumbling down his cheeks. “I’m right here.” He grimaced when he heard footsteps approaching. “They might make me go back to my room, but I’m here, okay? I’m in the hospital too. I won’t be far.”

Kelly shook his head, as if not understanding.

“Here you go!” The nurse had returned with a paper cup. William stood again. When he realized he was in the way, he released Kelly’s hand and backed off so she could raise the bed slightly and help him drink. He noticed the tubes snaking into Kelly’s arms, and the machines and IV bags surrounding him, aware again of how all of this was his fault.

“All done?” The nurse took a step back.

Kelly sought him out again, reaching for William, trying to sit up further.

“No you don’t!” the nurse said with a laugh. “You’re fine where you are.”

“Don’t leave me,” Kelly said, expression anguished, his attention fixed on William.

“I’m right here,” he repeated.

“He needs his rest,” the nurse said apologetically. “You should get back to your room.”

William nodded grudgingly. He took Kelly’s hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“Don’t leave me,” Kelly repeated.

“He’s on a lot of medication,” the nurse explained. “He’ll settle down and sleep again, don’t worry.”

“Okay. I’m just one floor away, Kelly. I’m close.”

“I don’t want to break up.”

The words hit William like a wall of frigid water. He finally understood what Kelly was saying. He wasn’t worried about William leaving his bedside. He was worried about him leaving completely.

“I won’t,” William said, forgetting his surroundings. He was on his knees again, gripping Kelly’s hand. “I don’t want to break up either. I love you! I promise I’ll never leave you. Do you hear me? Never! I belong to you.”

Kelly smiled, facial movements sluggish. “I love you too.”

“I’m so sorry. About all of this.”

Kelly swatted at him with his free hand and laughed. Jesus, they sure had him doped up! William repeated himself, just to be sure he was getting through. “I love you.”

Kelly closed his eyes as if content. “Okay.”

After watching his chest rise and fall a few times, William slid his hand away. He got to his feet, wiped at his eyes again, and faced the nurse.

“I have a brother,” she said. “He’s gay too. I love him to pieces.”

William forced a smile for her. As she escorted him out of the ICU, he thanked her once more, insisting he didn’t need any help getting back to his room. When he was alone in the hall, facing elevator doors and waiting for them to open, he exhaled.

Kelly still loved him, maybe even forgave him, but what would happen when the medication wore off? How would he feel when sober? When he realized who was to blame.

* * * * *

William focused on folding his shirts into an organized stack on his bed. Next to this was a week’s worth of underwear and socks. When finished, he considered the backpack he had planned to put them in, realizing they would get wrinkled no matter how careful he had been. He nearly shoved the clothing in anyway, but then wondered if his mom had a piece of luggage he could borrow. Not that he could get a suitcase onto his bicycle. He could ask his mother for a ride, but he didn’t like being in cars anymore. Not if he had a choice.

A knock at his bedroom door made him jump. He had heard the doorbell ring but ignored it, not expecting company. The police with more questions? Definitely not Kelly. He wouldn’t be home quite yet. Rather than continue guessing, he opened the door a crack. A girl his own age was on the other side, biting her lower lip as if unsure she’d be welcome.

“Lily!” William said, opening the door wider. “What are you doing here?”

“Checking to see if you’re still alive,” she replied, coming close for a hug. “We never see you anymore.”

“Sorry,” William said. He squeezed her, then ushered her into his room. “Things have been…”

“I know.” Lily walked in, paused to consider the clothes on the bed, then sat on the edge of it. He thought briefly of how she had tried her best to seduce him there and what a big deal that had seemed. What a problem to have! Grappling with his sexuality had been a cakewalk compared to the last few weeks. “Going on a trip?”

“No,” William answered. “Not really.”

“Oh. Well, I’m sorry it’s just me. Holly can’t deal with this kind of stuff. She loves you, but every time I mention the accident, she breaks down into tears. She’ll get over it.”

“And Abby?”

“Just started seeing a guy. And by seeing, I mean every part of him. It’s her first serious relationship.”

William smiled. “I’ll try not to take it personally. After all, I practically ditched you guys after I started dating Kelly.”

The name was like a phantom that floated into the room, turning the air cold. The happy expressions left their faces. That always happened now. The accident loomed over everything.

“How is he?” Lily asked.

“Fine,” William said for the sake of simplicity. “He gets discharged from the hospital today. That’s why I’m packing. He wants me to stay with him, be there to help if he needs it.”

“Oh!” Lily considered the clothes anew. “That’s so sweet of you.”

Hardly, but William had learned to hold his tongue. If the accident made people uncomfortable, revealing how he felt about himself now sent them packing. They couldn’t deal with it, and shouldn’t have to. It had been his mistake, not theirs.

“Anyway,” Lily said, “I’m here to drag you out for some fun. It’s summer. School’s out!” She misinterpreted William’s grimace. “You missed a lot of days. Please tell me that doesn’t mean summer school.”

He shook his head. “I showed up for the important tests. I passed.” Everyone at school had heard about the accident. His teachers had been sympathetic. Not that it would have stopped him. He visited the hospital at every opportunity and had been at Kelly’s side daily. If that meant repeating a school year, he would have done so gladly, but his mother had made arrangements. Kelly was taken care of too. The schoolboard had allowed him to pass his junior year, and rightly so, because Kelly had a lifetime of nearly perfect grades. At least that brain of his hadn’t been harmed.

“You definitely need a break,” Lily said.

“Huh?”

“We were in the middle of having a conversation. Then you went somewhere else.”

William rubbed his forehead. “Sorry. Everything is still kind of weird, you know?”

“I don’t, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m your girl.”

He considered her, wishing he could turn back the clock and let her seduce him. Would it have been so bad? She wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but she was still fantastic. They could have been together and history wouldn’t have played out the way it had. Kelly would have won the triathlon and still be running every day. The fastest guy in school.

“Jesus,” Lily whispered, looking shocked. “I don’t know what’s going on in there, but I’m sorry.”

She stood and wiped away tears on his cheek that he hadn’t noticed.

“I’m fine,” he said, gently taking her hand to stop her. “Everything is still raw. That’s all. I really need to keep packing. I want to be there when he gets home.”

“Okay,” Lily said. “I understand.”

She couldn’t, but it was nice of her to try.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s fine.” She hugged him again, then stepped back, her own eyes wet. “I miss you. You know that?”

William nodded. “I miss you too.”

After she had gone, he shoved his clothes carelessly into his backpack. Then he went to the bathroom, grabbed everything he would need, and carried it all downstairs. He left the backpack by the door and went to the living room where his mother was reading.

“I’m taking off,” he said.

Kate put down her magazine and gestured to the couch beside her. Resisting a sigh, William sat next to her.

“I could stop you,” she said. “You’re too young to live on your own.”

“Do what you have to do, Mom, but I’m not living on my own. Kelly’s parents will be there. I’m only staying over so I can help. We’ve been through this.”

Kate patted his hand. “I know, but I’m your mother, and that means I have to try.”

“This is still my home,” he stressed. “I hope.”

“Of course! How long do you think you’ll—”

“I don’t know.” He stood again. “As long as he needs me. This is the only thing I can do to make it right.” He shook his head, not liking his choice of words because nothing would make it right.

His mother stood, walking him to the door. “I’d feel a lot better if I still got to see you every day.”

“I’ll try.”

“Okay. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

She said that a lot recently. He didn’t make any promises. He simply kissed her on the cheek and left the house. William biked down backroads to Kelly’s house. Despite going to the same school, they lived in neighborhoods that weren’t exactly close. He arrived later than he intended, sweaty when he knocked on the front door.

Mrs. Phillips opened the door. She didn’t look pleased to see him, which came as no surprise. “If you’re going to be staying here, there’s no point in knocking,” she said coldly.

“Sorry,” William said. Lately he felt like he should be wearing a T-shirt with that phrase plastered across it. That way he could just point instead of having to say it over and over again.

Laisha wordlessly turned away, giving no indication if he should follow. William did so anyway, ending up in the living room where Kelly was seated on the couch. He looked more like himself than ever, free from hospital gowns and bandages. The basketball shorts he wore covered his legs and hid his stump. The dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up didn’t match. Maybe he was still trying to figure out his new style. Not for the first time, William realized how everything had changed. Speaking of which, Royal and Mr. Phillips were carrying a mattress through the room, heading for the stairs.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I’ve been upgraded,” Kelly explained. “The stairs are tricky, which means I get the master bedroom down here. Hey, Mom, does that make me master of the house?”

“It means I don’t have to climb the stairs to swat your ass!” she replied, tone much warmer with her son.

Kelly shot William a smile. “Remind me to lock the door at night.”

He was in high spirits, emphasis on the
high
. William had seen his moods rise and fall in direct correlation to when he was given his pain meds, but he didn’t begrudge Kelly that relief. “I’ll help carry things,” William offered, setting down his backpack.

Laisha held up a hand to stop him. “You’ve already done enough.”

The low blow barely fazed him. He already knew that Kelly’s parents disliked him. Who wouldn’t? He had crippled their son. At the hospital, rarely did a day go by that he didn’t suffer some insult from them, but he tried not to care. He just wished they understood that they didn’t need to bother. He already felt ashamed. He already hated himself. Why waste the energy when he couldn’t feel worse?

“Is there anything you need, honey?” Laisha asked her son.

“Some privacy,” Kelly said pointedly.

“It’s too bad the doctors couldn’t do something about your mouth,” she said. Then she bent over to kiss him on the forehead. “It’s good to have you home.”

William remained tense, even when she was gone.

“They’ll get over it,” Kelly assured him. “It won’t always be like this.”

“It’s fine,” William said. “I think I’m going to help carry stuff anyway. It doesn’t feel right to just stand here while they’re working.”

“Actually,” Kelly said, lowering his voice. “I really
really
need to pee.”

“Oh!” William hurried forward “Okay, should I carry you or—”

“I just need help getting up. I’m sinking into these cushions. They’re a death trap!”

William bent over, wrapped an arm around Kelly’s back, and lifted. Kelly had a grip on one of his crutches—the kind with a clamp near the forearm—which he balanced on. William grabbed the other crutch and handed it to him. “Need me to come with you?”

“No,” Kelly said. Then he reconsidered. “Actually, that might be a good idea.”

William followed him to the guest bathroom downstairs, which wasn’t exactly spacious, but they both fit.

“I thought you’d never get here,” Kelly said. “I don’t want my mother knowing I need help getting to the restroom. Not only would she never stop asking if I need to pee, but she’d probably have me in diapers by the end of the week.” Kelly looked at him when he didn’t respond. “That was supposed to be a joke.”