Something Like Rain (Something Like... Book 8) (23 page)

* * * * *

“We need to talk.”

William found Kelly sitting at the dining room table, cell phone in hand. The house was mostly dark, a few scented candles illuminating the neighboring living room, another on the table. When entering the house, William had noticed the low lighting and soft music, and worried he was interrupting romantic plans. Then he had found Kelly at the table and realized all of this was for them. They could use the extra romance. The previous week had been rough, Kelly’s moods more often dark than upbeat. Jade having quit meant he was working extra shifts, which William secretly liked, but he knew Kelly didn’t. His boyfriend finished texting, then set aside the phone.

“Talk about what?” William asked.

Kelly exhaled, flashing a tentative smile. “Everything. I don’t really know where to begin. Please sit. Or do you need to use the restroom? Are you thirsty?”

“I’m fine,” William said, surprised Kelly was so concerned for his wellbeing. “What’s going on? Where is everyone?”

“It’s Friday,” Kelly said.

The night reserved for the Phillips family to go out for group activities. Participation was optional, but Kelly had a lot of happy memories revolving around these evenings. William had tagged along a few times, but of course his experience had been different.

“My therapy session last week gave me a lot to think about,” Kelly said. “Allison made some good points that I can’t argue with, and you know how I love to argue.”

“I noticed that, yeah,” William said, taking a seat. “I’ve learned it’s easier to just agree with you, so if you want, we can cut this short. You’re right.”

Kelly’s eyes twinkled. “There’s no getting out of this one. It’s about the accident.”

“Oh.”

They both grew somber.

Kelly slid a hand across the table toward him, even though they were sitting too far away to touch. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—” His voice became strained, but he forced himself to continue. “I was hurt. Things weren’t going well between us, but I wanted them to. Remember the argument about community service? Picking up trash or packing boxes? When I look back, it seems ridiculous that I made such a big deal out of our choices. All I wanted was to be with you, but I was too proud to give up my own plans. Stupid me, because then we could have been together. So basically I was fighting against what I really wanted.” Kelly shook his head. “No wonder you wanted our relationship to end! Still, you wanting to break up came as a shock, and I was hurt, so I wanted to hurt you back.”

“Kelly—”

A raised hand cut him short. “Please let me finish, then I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. I’m sorry for wanting to hurt you, and for putting our lives in danger by freaking out when you were trying to drive. I know it might not have seemed like it at the time, but I loved you. I still do.”

William remained silent. He knew what he wanted to say, but he also knew that Kelly wouldn’t agree, and that this heart-to-heart would turn into another shouting match. Then again, Kelly was sitting perfectly still, wearing an open expression.

“It’s my fault you lost your leg,” William tried.

To his surprise, Kelly nodded. “I don’t think the blame is entirely yours. I did my part, but it wasn’t the argument that caused the accident. Was it?”

“No,” William said, his throat constricting. “It’s not like I was distracted by what you were saying and didn’t notice a car in my blind spot. I wanted to upset you because I’m not good at finding the right words. Not like you are. Especially when you want to hurt me. Jerking the wheel, that was my version of doing the same to you. I never thought it would cost you your leg. You could have died and—”

“It’s okay,” Kelly said.

“It’s not!” William shot back, but he wasn’t angry. Instead he felt like crying, which he did. Fighting against it while saying what he needed to was too difficult. “I robbed you of your dreams. Even worse, I took your happiness because you’re not the same person anymore. Yeah, you always loved to argue, but there was more. You loved taking photos and running, and the old you never would have relied so much on me or your parents. He had too much pride. It’s like the Kelly Phillips I fell in love with died in that accident, and what’s left is…”

Kelly nodded encouragingly. “Say it.”

“You’re so bitter.” William sniffed to stop his nose from leaking. “Every single day I try to find ways to bring you back, to make you happy even though everything has changed, and I always fail. You’re miserable, and it’s all my fault.”

Kelly was quiet, his gaze to one side as he considered these words. “Do you still love me?”

“Yes!” William said. “Trust me, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

Kelly looked to him, expression hurt. “Is it really that bad?”

William sighed. “It’s more than just your moods. Your parents hate me.”

“Your mom was never fond of me either, especially now that she thinks I’ve stolen you away.”

“I know. I wish we could live on our own because then they wouldn’t be involved.”

Kelly nodded. “Maybe we can minimize that by no longer accepting rides from them. We’re getting pretty good at using the bus.”

“That would help,” William said. “I’d also rather go swimming than have breakfast with them. Or any other meals, to be honest. I’d rather eat a sandwich in the bedroom than sit at that table again.”

“If that’s what you need,” Kelly said.

“What about you?” William asked. “What can I do to make you happy?”

Kelly exhaled. “You don’t realize how happy you make me. If you weren’t around, I hate to think what my life would be like.”

William held back. As good as being open with each other felt, he wasn’t ready to talk about the Coast Guard. He hadn’t given up that dream because it had returned to being his one chance at redemption. And yet he had made a promise. He had sworn to stay for as long as Kelly needed him, and that wouldn’t change if things remained the same. “You have to find something else,” he said. “Besides me. I want you to be happy, even if I’m not around.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. You’re not as limited as you think.”

Kelly shook his head. “I’m not going to be a one-legged snowboarder or anything ridiculous.”

“Those people aren’t ridiculous,” William said. “They’re brave. So are you. I know you hate hearing that from strangers, but it’s true. Use it to your advantage. Please.”

“I’ll try.”

William nodded. “Good. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Kelly smirked. “Take off that shirt.”

William sighed. “I know you don’t like my job, and I’ll admit it isn’t—”

“It’s got nothing to do with you being a juice cowboy,” Kelly teased. “I just want to see you with your shirt off.”

“Oh!” William laughed. “You’re supposed to find something that makes you happy that
doesn’t
involve me.”

“Sometimes it doesn’t, and that also makes me happy, but sex is a lot more fun when you’re around.”

William grinned and stood. He still felt emotional from their talk, but getting into a different sort of mood wasn’t difficult. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it on the table. Then he swore and rushed to grab it when it landed on the candle. Kelly seemed amused rather than irritated, so William strutted over to where he was seated, putting on a terrible French accent.

“Welcome, monsieur, to Le Sausage House. May I take your order?”

“I already placed my order,” Kelly said, having no trouble imitating an irritated customer. “I asked for a bratwurst surprise.”

“Ah, of course! I have that right here.” William unbuttoned his jeans, then unzipped them. He pulled them down along with his underwear, flopping out. He wasn’t entirely hard, but Kelly wasted no time in correcting that. Soon William was thrusting in his mouth, trying to think of a good joke about tartar sauce or maybe mayonnaise, just in case they kept going like this. Instead Kelly pulled him free with a popping noise.

“I’ve got no patience for this,” he said. “You want to know what I really want? Help me out of these pants and onto the table.”

William had a good idea of where that would lead. His high spirits took a plunge as they got undressed. Then he tried pleasing Kelly with his hands and mouth instead.

“Get the lube,” Kelly breathed after enough of this.

William hesitated. They had been so open with each other tonight. Maybe now was a good time to tell Kelly that he had needs of his own. He was tired of always being the top. It brought pleasure and he had no trouble performing, but when flying solo, his fantasies always took a different turn.

“It’s okay,” Kelly said, misinterpreting his uncertainty. “They won’t be home until late.”

Then again, why ruin what had been a very progressive evening? William hurried out of the room and back again, Kelly still on his back and appearing hungry. “Just go for it,” he said. “No need to be gentle.”

Those were the hormones talking. William was careful anyway, watching the strain on Kelly’s face until it disappeared. Then, with one leg draped over his shoulder, he really started pounding, picturing as always how he would want to be treated. Maybe that made him a good lover because Kelly was all lolling eyes and moans of ecstasy, letting go of himself toward the end and coming a minute later despite not touching himself. William stopped holding back and raced to the finish line. Once he crossed it, he fell on top of Kelly, their sweaty bodies heaving together. Then William summoned up his terrible French accent again.

“Are you pleased, monsieur? Have I earned a tip?”

Kelly shook his head and laughed. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but that felt like way more than just the tip!”

* * * * *

A new guy! William didn’t pray often, but he was starting to think he should. Even though they were getting along better, he hadn’t abandoned his desire for Kelly to move on with someone else, even entertaining strange ideas, like creating a dating profile for him online. Which of course he hadn’t. All of his hopes rested in the gay youth group. The usual faces had filed into the church classroom where they met, William’s hope diminishing with each that he recognized. Then, at the last minute, two new people had shown up. One was easy to dismiss, disqualified due to her gender. She was a big girl and seemed thrilled to be there, like not only had she never been to a toy store before, but until now she hadn’t even known they existed. He had seen similar reactions from a lot of people. It was either that, or like her companion, they slumped into themselves, awkward and bashful. This made William a little less hopeful, because Kelly needed someone who could keep up with him. Still, this guy was cute! Really really cute!

The newcomer’s blue eyes were currently focused on the floor, occasionally darting around the room but without making contact with anyone. His messy brown hair stopped just above the dark eyebrows, a couple of curls visible behind each ear, and his skin was tan except for the bridge of his nose where he had gotten too much sun. William thought briefly of Jared, who shared the same attributes but wasn’t all that attractive. William found this new person way hotter, but the best part was that he must be Kelly’s type. He looked over to see if his boyfriend had made this same connection. Kelly seemed more interested in him than the new arrivals, placing a finger under William’s chin to shut his mouth, which had been hanging open.

“Someone you know?” Kelly asked.

“No,” William said hurriedly. “It’s just been a while since anyone new showed up.”

“I know,” Kelly said. Then, in a Transylvanian accent he added, “Fresh meat!”

Okay, that was a good sign. Kelly had noticed the new guy too. But had the new guy noticed him? Keith, the group leader, took over then, suggesting they do a round of introductions. William waited until it was Kelly’s turn before he looked across the room to where the newcomer sat. Jackpot! The guy’s intense gaze was trained on Kelly and looking him over. Did he notice the missing leg? Would it turn him off? William felt sinking guilt, wondering if he had made it impossible for Kelly to ever find someone new. This person though was definitely interested. William forced himself to look away, listening to Kelly’s short speech and giving one of his own. Then the new girl made a noise, like she was eager to go next. Keith allowed this. Her name was Emma, and her words were just as confident as her demeanor. She even managed to make the entire room laugh. Too bad she wasn’t a guy, because she had the kind of personality Kelly needed to keep him in check. Confident and quick-witted. Maybe her friend would turn out to be the same way.

“And who did you bring with you?” Keith prompted.

“Jason,” the newcomer said. “And I… uh…” His voice faltered, ending in a strained squeak.

Poor guy. Having over twenty strangers stare at you could be intimidating. William could understand, but he still felt disappointed, because this wasn’t who he had been waiting for. He glanced over at Kelly and saw the way he struggled to hold back laughter, unable to take someone like that seriously. The worst part is the way Jason looked to Kelly for a reaction, his cheeks growing redder by the second. Jason was definitely interested, but it didn’t matter. Kelly needed a fellow piranha, not a goldfish.

The introductions continued, William feeling guilty for playing matchmaker with his boyfriend, if only in his own mind. Who was he to decide what Kelly needed? Especially when they had talked about it so recently. William just wished they had found a solution instead of relying on sex to bring them closer together again. Maybe that’s what Kelly had been trying to express. He needed William. Not just his presence, but his dedication.