Something Like Rain (Something Like... Book 8) (64 page)

“Ben and Tim,” William said, understanding immediately. “They’re your family.”

“They’re not,” Jason said, averting his gaze. “Not technically, but they sure feel like it to me. I didn’t want to give that up. I still don’t. Maybe I’m selfish.”

“Then I am too,” William said, “because I always fantasized about you moving to Massachusetts. I wanted you there, don’t think I didn’t! It just wouldn’t have worked with the base situation, or me having to stay in the closet. By the time that was no longer an issue, I had already pushed you away.” He swallowed, thinking about how close he had come to losing the greatest love of his life. “I won’t make that same mistake again.”

“No?” Jason asked.

“No. I promise.”

“Then where are you running off to?”

William had hopped out of bed and was working on his jeans. “I thought I’d prove my dedication to you.”

Jason grinned, looking him over. “That won’t be easy. I’m hard to convince.”

The jeans tumbled down to his ankles. “And I’m already hard.”

After undressing completely, William slipped beneath the sheets, thrilled to discover that Jason was naked. He climbed on top, pressing their bodies together. They kissed, and usually they would do a lot more, working their way up to the most intimate act, but William felt too much. He kept thinking of the sacrifices Jason was willing to make, could see the happy future he had envisioned for them both. Helicopters, waves, swimming, rescues, and at the end of those long shifts, returning
home
, which was so much more than just a place. Jason would be there waiting for him. Daisy wouldn’t be so far away. William would have it all, thanks to Jason’s willingness. In return, he would give everything that he could.

“You sure?” Jason whispered.

William had already reached back to position the cock between his cheeks. They were rushing into it, not having played around first. “Just go slow,” he said.

Jason reached up, cupping William’s cheek in his hand. “I’ve got all night.”

“Speak for yourself,” he replied, lowering himself with a gasp. “Something tells me I’m not going to last that long.” He did pretty well, all things considered. The pain he had braced for never arrived. Sometimes it all worked out that way—in life and in the bedroom—all the pieces fitting together just right and feeling like a dream come true.

* * * * *

A large green field, illuminated by lights and surrounded by stadium seating. In the middle of it, a dirt path traced the rough shape of diamond. Several men in uniforms were spread out over this unlikely environment, each obsessed with chasing a small ball just so they could fling it away again. William watched all of this, not understanding the appeal. He had nothing against baseball, or sports in general, but he’d never found it entertaining. His brother Spencer should be sitting here instead, and would be if he hadn’t gotten food poisoning the day before. Still, the excuse to spend time with his father made the game more bearable. Especially since he needed advice.

“I have a question,” William said, “and I want you to know in advance that I don’t mean to be offensive.”

The stadium erupted in cheers.

“Dad?”

His father looked at him like he was crazy. “That was a home run.”

“Oh,” William said, clapping a little.

“Sanders hit the ball out of the field with bases loaded. Did you not see that?”

“Sorry.”

His father shook his head, then patted his arm. “Tell you what, next time I’ll tell you when to get excited. Just so you blend in. Deal?”

“Sure!” William said, not faking his enthusiasm. That way he wouldn’t have to pay attention at all.

His father sighed and shook his head. “What did you want to ask me?”

William considered the right way to phrase the question. “When did you know that Mom was the one, and why didn’t you realize sooner that she wasn’t? You know what I mean?”

“No.” Lewis thought about it. “Wait, you want to know why your mother and I got together in the first place?”

“No, I get that. You guys found each other attractive and other stuff I don’t want to think about. But you also decided to get married, even though it wouldn’t work out in the long run. Was it because she was pregnant with Spencer?”

Lewis laughed. “I’d like to see you ask her that! And no, she wasn’t pregnant when I asked her to marry me. I popped the question because she was the one.”

William shook his head. “Obviously she wasn’t.”

“She was,” his father insisted. “At the time. People change. That can’t be helped, but back then, we were in love. We were happy. If I could go back and do it all over again, I’d
still
ask her to marry me.”

“Because you wouldn’t have had us otherwise.”

“Even if you boys never existed. I mean it! I loved her. I still do. We just weren’t meant to spend the rest of our lives together.”

“But that’s what marriage is.”

“Not according to all the people who have gotten divorces.” Lewis tried signaling the roving hotdog vendor and failed to get his attention. “Listen, when two people get married, they’re agreeing to a commitment more serious than dating. You don’t just call it quits after an argument, or because you get bored. But in the long term, if the situation changes and neither of you are happy, you aren’t required to suffer until your dying day. That would be stupid. Your mother and I had many wonderful years together. I don’t know if she feels the same, but I don’t regret marrying her one bit.”

“Okay,” William said, still not satisfied.

His father nudged him. “This is about Jason, isn’t it?”

“Maybe.”

“I can tell from your face that it is. I don’t think you should rush into anything, but you boys have known each other a long time, am I right? And you’ve been living together?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you argue much?”

“Not really.”

“Then if you want to ask him, ask him.”

William laughed. “You make it sound so simple.”

“Because it is. You want to spend the rest of your life with him, and his answer will tell you if he feels the same way. If he says yes, give it your best shot. Life might have other plans in store for you, but there’s no predicting what that might be, so for now, just follow your heart and hope for the best.”

William tittered, pulse racing. “I just hope he says yes.”

“He will,” his father said, nodding in certainty. “I love all three of you boys, but you’re special. Spencer is too much like me, and Errol lives on another planet, but you… You’re the one thing your mother and I got right.”

“Thanks,” William said, his voice a croak. “I love you too.”

“Good. Now go get your old man a hotdog. I’m starving!”

William hopped up, already deciding his dad deserved a beer as well. Better make it two. William needed something to help calm his nerves, because he was going to do it. He would ask Jason to marry him!

* * * * *

“Can we talk?”

Never good words to hear. William looked up at Lily with concern. She was in Austin visiting her family and had reserved the last day of her trip for him. They were in the living room of his mother’s house, Lily about to drive back to Houston. William only needed to finish changing Daisy’s diaper before they left.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, resuming his task.

“I’m fine,” Lily said. “We both are. It’s good news.”

“Oh! Great!”

“I didn’t see this coming,” Lily continued. “I’m flattered honestly, but I was headhunted.”

“Sounds painful,” he joked, even though his stomach sank. He finished his work and tried to comfort himself by smiling down at his daughter, who had one of his fingers trapped in her tiny hand and was gnawing and slobbering all over it.

“It’s a really good job. Better pay and less management over my head. They have on-site daycare too. You have to understand, the finance industry is usually a sausage-fest. They don’t worry about childcare. This company is different. I won’t be the only woman working there, and it’ll be good for Daisy—for us both—to be that close all day.”

William steeled himself. “Where is it?”

“Portland. The one in Oregon.”

He nodded, having guessed the east coast instead of west, but he had already known the job wouldn’t be in Texas. Regardless, the idea of them moving so far away still hurt, so he did his best to argue against it. “I can pay for daycare,” he said. “I’m sure there’s somewhere close to your current office, so it wouldn’t be so different.”

“It’s more than that.” Lily’s tone was patient. “When I say better pay, I mean a
lot
more. I’ll be able to get my own place. My roommate didn’t sign the lease expecting to live with a screaming baby, or to help with her so much. With this new job, I can rent a house, and before long, put a down payment on one of my own.”

“We can get a house together,” William said. “I didn’t want to ruin the surprise, but Jason and I are talking about moving to Houston. There’s a Coast Guard air station there.”

“You’ve reenlisted?”

“No, I’m still on reserve. I was waiting on a friend of mine to see if I get stationed there.”

“So nothing has been put in motion yet?”

“Right.”

Lily exhaled as if relieved, and he knew then that she had made up her mind. Telling him was only a courtesy. “I know this is hard for you, but I’ll be able to provide a better life for her.”

“If it’s money—”

“It’s not just money!” Lily said, sounding exasperated. “I don’t want to rely on you or my parents or anyone else. I care about my career. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, but I’m not getting paid what I deserve. We just hired a new guy, and he let slip how much he earns. It’s more than I make, and I’ve been there for three years! We have the same damn position!”

William swallowed. “That sucks, and I’m sorry. But what about me?”

“I’ll fly you up there as much as you want. We just have to plan ahead to get reasonable fares, but I looked into it, and it’s possible. I still want you to be a part of Daisy’s life. I’m sure she does too.” Lily put her hand over his, the same one Daisy still held, and they were all connected. He just hoped it wasn’t for the last time. “I’m not pushing you out. I swear. I would never do that to you. But I’m thinking of her future as well as mine.”

On a logical level, he knew she was right. He also wanted his daughter to grow up in a house, to live somewhere that allowed pets, to have a yard to play in, a mother who was always near… All of it sounded good, but emotionally, he had looked forward to being part of that life. He had thought those dreams could come true in Houston. “When do you start?”

“Six weeks.” Lily looked pained. “I hope you’re not angry. Or hurt.”

“It hurts to think about losing you both, but angry? Of course not. I’m proud of you.” And he was. He hadn’t intended to become a father, but if he had, he couldn’t imagine a better mother for his child than Lily. “Just send me photos every day. And videos. Actually, how far do those baby monitors broadcast? Maybe you could put one in each room so I can still see and hear everything.”

“You’re really okay with this?”

“The adult in me is. The rest is kicking and screaming.”

Lily smiled. “Thank you. You’ll be a part of our lives every single day. I promise.”

* * * * *

“Someone’s got mail!”

William had just returned from another late-night shift. No serious emergencies tonight, just a head wound that would require stitches and a bite from a dog that had all of its shots. He and Sharon ferried these people to the hospital and treated the others on site. William was glad not to deal with anything life-threatening. He just hadn’t expected to return home to such a chipper boyfriend.

“Who’s it from?” he asked, setting down his things.

“Christie Patel,” Jason said. “That’s the woman from your unit, right? The one who can get you transferred to Houston?”

“I never said that.” William accepted the envelope, feeling guilty. He hadn’t told Jason about Lily’s new job, needing the previous two days to let it sink in. Part of him still hoped she might call to say she had changed her mind.

Jason was still beaming at him. “Open it!”

He did so, first scanning the letter she had written before moving on to the next page. Christie had sent a list of every current and upcoming vacancy. He skipped down to the eighth district, relieved when he didn’t see Houston or Galveston listed there, because that meant the idea of reenlisting wouldn’t have worked out regardless. Even if Lily chose to stay in Texas, the local air stations didn’t have an opening for him. He looked up and shook his head. “Sorry.”

Jason’s face fell. “Really? What about Galveston?”

“Nope.” He put the letter back in the envelope. “Lily’s moving to Portland anyway.”

“What?”

“I just found out when she was here. She got headhunted by a firm up there.”

Jason struggled with disappointment, but managed to get past it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.”