Somewhere in Between (4 page)

After several long moments, Mary pushed down on his knee.

"Sorry. I just want this to be over with." He shook his head. "I have no doubt Gemma is wishing the same thing."

"It's okay to be crazy over this," Mary commented with a small smile. "She's very special to you, isn't she?"

A soft laugh left his mouth. "She's my best friend." He closed his eyes, pinching them tight as he thought about the past couple months. All that time he spent obsessing over Trisha when Gemma was right in front of him. All that time he spent not being a friend to her at all because he was so consumed with ridiculousness, it had him shaking his head, beaten down by guilt. "If only I'd asked her to the damn dance, because I had always planned to before I ever saw Trisha because I knew I would have fun with Gemma." It didn't matter what they did, just
being
with Gemma was fun. It still amazed him sometimes that he'd only known her less a year, they were that close. "If only I hadn't ever thought about Trisha Scott to begin with and focused my attention on my best friend, who was there for me no matter what I talked about or obsessed over. If only…
if only
, then she wouldn't be here. She wouldn't be here talking to a doctor, getting a fucking horrifying examination, completely destroyed. And those guys never would have seen her; they never would have touched her. They never would have broken her."

He began to sob, falling against his aunt. "Oh Elliot, this is not your fault. Yes, you made some mistakes, but you did not make Gemma go to Fairview tonight. You didn't make her lie about plans just so-"

"She wouldn't have lied if I'd have been a decent human being. She wouldn't have lied in the first place if not for my stupidity," he cut in. "There'd be no reason for Fairview to have even been a blip on her radar tonight if I had been a better friend. But I wasn't, and she made up some tale and now look where we are. It kills me to think, but I don't even know why she bothers with me."

"She
bothers
with you because she cares about you," Mary tried to reason.

"She could do so much better, and tonight just proves that."

There would be no getting around this conversation. Elliot wouldn't hear anything different. And for right now, he needed to simmer, stew in his self-imposed punishment because he knew without a doubt, Gemma deserved so much better than this, so much better than him.

After a while, Mary spoke again, a contemplative tone to her voice, "You know, I don't think it's just on Gemma's side."

"Don't think what?" Elliot asked, wiping his eyes.

"I don't think it's just Gemma who likes you," Mary replied with an easy smile. "I think it goes both ways."

"What?" Elliot sat up, staring at his aunt. "What goes both ways?"

"Think about it. Anyone could have gone looking for her, best friends aside," Mary counted off. "Anyone could be with her now. But instead, it was you who went, you who found her, and you who has held her hand and comforted her all night. It's been you who has sat here crying over that girl. Yeah, friends do that, but the way you look at her, I think it's more than just friendly. Because otherwise, why not just call someone to take care of her?"

He shook his head. He didn't think he looked at Gemma any differently, but then again, he couldn't see how he looked to the outside. And to call someone else almost seemed cruel, like he didn't want to deal with this or face what his choices caused. More than that though, there was too much going on for him to even consider anything other than Gemma's safety and well-being. If she liked him, like everyone said, okay, but he was too wound up to deal with any feelings other than hurt and absolute sadness right now.

Before he could respond to his aunt, the examination room door opened and the nurse came back out, accompanied by Dr. Lindley. Elliot immediately stood. "Is she okay?"

"She's okay. Physically speaking, she is okay, all things considered since she does have some internal tearing, but nothing that can't heal on its own. She has obvious injuries, bruising, scratches, and a bite mark. But other than that, she is going to be okay.
Physically
." Elliot bristled at the description, especially the reference to a bite mark, but kept his composure. "I've recommended she speak with someone to help her get through this trauma. She has a list of therapists, with one I highly recommend." Everyone nodded. "She's asking for you," Dr. Lindley looked at Elliot. "I've allowed her to redress. We've spoken with her, informed her the best we can as to what she can expect from here on out. She allowed the rape kit to be performed, which in many ways is the worst part because of how intimate the procedure is. So I need you to understand, for as sensitive as the situation was when you left that room, it is probably more than intensified."

"Okay, okay," Elliot breathed, preparing himself to walk through the door. "Did she say if she was going to file a report?" The doctor nodded in affirmation. “And her parents?”

“I’ve placed a call to them. There was no answer.”

“They’re out of town. Went on a business trip for the night or something.”

“Oh, okay. We’ll they should be notified, especially since Gemma is only fifteen.”

“I’ll make sure they do.”

“Thank you. I’m sure she’s ready for you to see her now,” Dr. Lindley commented, releasing him from her company.

That was all he needed. Squaring his shoulders and breathing deeply, Elliot made his way back to Gemma's room.

She waited for what seemed like hours before a soft knock sounded and the door finally opened again, Elliot on the other side. She was still shaky from talking, relaying what happened to Dr. Lindley. And the exam, for all that it was easy; it was still more difficult than most things she'd ever done. A police report was going to be filed, she'd committed to that. Her family was going to find out. It didn’t matter that Dr. Lindley couldn’t get a hold of her dad tonight. They would find out.

Try as she might, being only fifteen years old made keeping this a secret, impossible. But the good doctor had instructed her that she needed support; to survive this and recover fully, she was going to need support.

As light brown hair popped into the room, followed by Elliot's somber blue gaze, Gemma breathed a sigh of relief. It was ridiculous, after what happened to her, for her to feel that way, but he helped with her nerves. She needed him close.

"Hey, Gemma," Elliot whispered, smiling sheepishly. She motioned for him to come closer, the sweats warm against her skin after being so cold in the gown. As soon as he reached her, he took her hand, warming her further. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," she answered, her head suddenly feeling heavy. Tonight was the roughest of her young life. She didn't know how she'd make it, but she hoped Elliot would be there for her. "I want to go home now. I'm sure Leighanna is wondering where I've been. I don't want to make it worse by staying out longer than necessary," Gemma murmured, feeling tired again. Her head was starting to hurt and her body just wanted to shut down.

"Okay, I'll get you home."

*LtB*

North Suburban wasn't extremely from Gemma's house so it only took a few minutes. As Elliot parked in front of the house, behind Leighanna’s red VW Beetle, he saw Gemma start to fidget. "I don't know if I can go in there looking like this. I'm sure Leigh is up waiting for me."

"Probably," Elliot nodded remembering how Leighanna acted when he figured out the lie that was told. He even didn't want Gemma to have to walk into that house after everything that has happened. There was so much wrong with this night, he longed for a do-over.

"I'm surprised she hasn't tried calling anymore," Gemma mumbled with a frown, looking down at her phone gripped tightly between her hands. She wondered if her sister had just assumed Elliott had found her and everything was fine. "How did you know where to look for me?" she asked after a moment. It was one thing she'd not thought of until just now.

"I uh, saw Ryan at the dance. He was with Janey," he started, not wanting to have this conversation because of all that was wrong from the beginning. "Leighanna asked me if he stood you up to get back with Janey. She said you guys were supposed to hang out. She tried calling you but your phone kept ringing and then going to voicemail. I didn't wait to see if you answered, I just left to find you." A little 'o' formed on her lips, but no sound come out. "Why did you lie about your plans?"

"Did you finally get that dance with Trisha Scott? Were you able to
win
her heart?" Gemma asked instead of answering, a bite to her tone.

"Gemma," he sighed. He knew this was one of the answers to his question, but to hear Gemma say it to his face, broke his heart. "I am so sorry for everything I put you through in regards to Trisha. I got a cold dose of reality tonight."

A harsh laugh escaped her. "Oh, yeah? What'd she do? Turn you down; reject you for all to see? Maybe make you feel stupid for feeling the way you do because she only has eyes for Jake Lewis?"

Her tone surprised him, but he knew he deserved much worse. "No. No, I never even made a move. I just sat there stewing in self-inflicted misery while watching her dance with her boyfriend until Josh explained to me how much a jackass I've been about this whole thing. He, not so bluntly, showed me the error of my ways."

"Huh. Wish I could have seen that," Gemma mused more to herself. Given all that had transpired in the last few hours, she wanted to be angry. She wanted to be furious. It sure beat crying and being afraid. "What'd he say, anyway?"

For a moment, Elliot was quiet. He didn't want to tell her what he was told, what made him realize, but the look of absolute damage on her face, and not from the bruises, changed his mind. He'd withstand the embarrassment. "He just told me that I was like all those losers you girls make fun of. Just because she looked my way, smiled for the briefest of moments, it didn't mean she liked me or that it meant anything more than just a smile. She's a nice girl, but that's all. She doesn't know me, and I don't know her. And I know that, really, I do. There was nothing more than just two people who happened to look the same way at the same time and a smile was exchanged." His face blushed hot. He felt so stupid for being just like every other imbecile. "I am so sorry I obsessed over her like I did. I'm sorry that you had to deal with the worst of it. I'm even more sorry that you thought you had to make up some plan with some other guy because you didn't feel comfortable being around me because of how much a jackass I am."

His speech left her momentarily breathless. But just because she was angry, she didn't want him to take all the blame, because she wasn't
angry
at him. It was about being upset and embarrassed than anything. "It wasn't just your obsessing," she started. "I mean yeah, it was a big part of why I made up some story, but it was more than that." Her eyes brimmed with tears. She wasn't ready to deal with those emotions on top of dealing with what had happened to her. So she didn't say anything else.

Elliot could see the moment she shut down the conversation. He wanted so badly for her to tell him what else was wrong, to perhaps confirm for him what everyone had been saying, that she liked him, and that was why, being at the dance with him, even if he'd asked, was impossible for her, especially given his desire to win the unwinnable.

"We should go speak to the police tomorrow," he said to fill to fill the silence. "The sooner you talk to them the sooner it'll be over with."

Her breath was haggard. It was too much, too soon. She'd just gone through a horrible exam, had to be touched again, prodded for evidence and now he wanted this from her?

"Elliot…. No, I can't do this anymore. You don't know what this is like!"

"No, Gemma. I know how horrible this is, how scared you are, but someone needs to stop these guys." He made sure to lower his voice at the end so as to not scare her any more than she already was. "Please, I need your help. You promised you would."

She was stunned by his plea. Of all the things she had expected him to say in regards to her talking to the police, begging for her help was not one of them. Using her words against her wasn’t either. Then again, he saw. Elliot saw what had happened to her. This was too big to deal with though. "Okay. But not tomorrow. I can't do it tomorrow. I may throw up."

"Monday after school. I'm sure you won't go, but I'll pick you up." His tone left no room for argument and while it bothered him to be so stern with her, he knew she needed to do this.

"Okay. Monday." Her voice was small, she couldn't look at him because she didn't want to see his pain. Or relief. Both would hurt.

"You should probably head inside," he said after several minutes.

Gemma nodded, but then a moment of panic overwhelmed her. "They're gonna know. They'll see me and they'll just
know
. I don't want anyone to know." She knew going to the hospital and giving them those words she couldn't take back was a bad idea. Her father, a lawyer who made it his goal in life to find out if someone was lying or not, was gonna know something happened to her and it wasn't just a simple mugging like she had initially planned to tell everyone. "He's gonna talk to the police and they're gonna tell him
all
of what happened to me and I can't
do
this, Elliot!"