Somewhere in Between (9 page)

There was no accusation in her tone, but Elliot could hear the twinge of hurt. "Yeah, he does." He took a deep breath, hoping to keep the images he'd replayed for his father at bay. "It wasn't planned. Christie just bombarded me, and dad asked me to speak with him. He asked me why I would fight my sister like that, you know, what could possibly be
so important
that I would fight so hard with Christie over it, because there had never been anything so
completely
important before, and I told him something had happened and Christie just didn't get it. Next thing I know, I can't stop the words from spewing out." He placed his head in his free hand, eyes pinched shut. "I didn't mean to say anything, but it was too much to deal with. I'm so sorry, Gemma. I didn't mean to betray your trust. I shouldn't have said anything. I just couldn't stop it."

Gemma let her friend's words process through her mind, grasping them beyond the point that he'd told someone. She didn't know what to think or how to feel. Elliot told his dad, he
told
him! It was no longer close to her anymore, the event had gained wings and spread farther than her house and Elliot's mind. What would happen next, she wondered. Who else would find out? The thought alone made her panic. "Can I… would it be okay if I talked to you tomorrow?"

He felt punched in the gut. He knew he shouldn't have told, but he had to. Not telling, not having anyone know for him was debilitating. He felt smothered and helpless. He needed support too, and his dad was the perfect person for it. But he'd still violated the tenuous trust Gemma now carried for everyone. He would need to find a way to gain it back. "Uh, yeah. I'll see you after school tomorrow." He didn't want to hang up, but he knew she needed time, and nothing he said or did would change how she felt right this moment.

"Goodnight, Elliot," Gemma whispered before disconnecting the call.

He sat back against his headboard, his heart heavy and near breaking, with new tears in his eyes.

CHAPTER FIVE

Gemma hardly slept that night. And on more than one occasion, when she did manage to close her eyes, she woke up screaming. After the third time, Leighanna decided to stay with her. It was then she told her sister what Elliot had done.

"He told his dad," she whispered in the soft light of the lamp. Sleeping in the dark was too much for her right now.

"What?"

"Elliot. He told his dad what happened to me." There was a long moment where neither spoke, the only sound in the room the ticking of an old clock on the wall.

Leighanna turned onto her side, looking at Gemma in the soft glow. She had a pensive look on her face, like her mind was in overdrive and the words wouldn't form right. Finally, she shook her head. "Gemma, does it bother you? Does it bother you that he told his dad?"

"What happened, happened to
me
," Gemma replied fiercely, finally voicing the hurt she'd felt earlier but had kept to herself. "It happened to me and
I
should be the one to decide who finds out."

"That's not true," Leigh began and then quickly continued before Gemma could protest. "Yes, you were the one attacked, but think about it. Elliot found you. He
found
you." The words hung in the quiet, but Gemma said nothing, not entirely comprehending. "Don't you get it? You guys are best friends. Elliot saw those guys, and he found you, beat up, broken. He saw all of that and with more clarity than any sixteen year old boy I've ever met, knew to get you help. He didn't panic; he got you the help you needed."

"But he didn't have to say anything," her voice rose, tears once again staining her cheeks as sobs took over. "He shouldn't have said anything. It happened to me. It happened to me."

"But it happened to Elliot, too," Leigh argued against Gemma's tearful gasp. "Sweetie, Elliot saw the guys who hurt you. And right after seeing them, he found you in that alley, badly hurt. Don't you think those images are affecting him? Even a little? Don't you think, being that you are best friends, the whole situation is hurting him? Best friends care about each other, and I'm positive that knowing you were hurt, knowing you're still hurting, is tearing him apart. He can't fix this. He's attached himself to you, since you said he'd held your hand the whole time. So wouldn't it stand to reason that maybe he needs a shoulder to lean on too? Wouldn't it make sense that he told his dad because he needed someone to be there for him like you do?"

Gemma said nothing, just wiped her tears away angrily. With a sigh, Leighanna grabbed her sister's hand, laying it with hers on the shared pillow. "I don't think he did it to hurt you, or to betray your trust. I think Elliot told his dad because he needs help too. You guys are not adults here. And this is too much for most grown-ups to handle. I know that I am so glad mom and dad know because I wouldn't be able to deal with it on my own. So, why can't you understand why Elliot would need the same?"

Her tears continued to fall, but they were no longer the result of a feeling of betrayal. She could see what her sister was saying, see the pieces start to fall into place and realize for all her anger, it wasn't justified toward the right individual. She could see her sister gripping her stepmom as she relayed her story. She replayed the images of the family consoling one another once her dad found out. She'd never seen her dad hold his family so tightly. She remembered how close Mary stayed to Elliot while they were at the hospital.

"I probably hurt him more, huh?" she said more to herself. Hadn't she been dwelling on the fact that Elliot had seen her wounds, had seen her disgrace? Hadn't she just been lamenting the fact that he had seen the absolute worst and what he thought about it? More than anything, she knew those images would linger. "I probably really hurt him."

Leigh shook her head. "I think he understands. I'm sure he'll beat himself up over it for a while, cause we both know how that boy likes to drag things out, but he'll understand. Just talk to him." Gemma reached for her cell phone, but stopped when Leighanna's hand appeared on her shoulder. "Talk to him tomorrow. He's probably asleep right now."

*LtB*

He stayed awake for hours. By the time three-thirty had rolled around, Elliot still hadn't managed to find sleep. If not for the images that continued to haunt him, it was the knowledge that he'd helped to hurt Gemma more by betraying her trust in him.

He knew he shouldn't have told his dad anything. He knew she would feel hurt that he did. But on the same token, there was no way to stop the words from falling from his lips. They needed to get out, needed to be heard. Every fiber of his being shook with the push to let his feelings be heard, and he trusted his father the most in his life. He simply needed to purge the pain, guilt, sadness, and anger away and his dad was his hero. Elliot knew there was no one else he could trust above him.

But his action had hurt Gemma. After putting her through so much in regards to Trisha, the last thing he needed to do was add to the list of wrongs he'd done against her. He didn't know if she'd forgive him for this. He couldn't see how she would ever be able to trust him after this.

Glancing at his clock and noticing it was nearing four in the morning, he sighed heavily. Were he still going, he would have to be up in an hour for school. Thankfully, his father had taken pity on Elliot, heard his sobs that came forth after the disastrous call with Gemma, and decided it would do him no good to go to school. Christie had been furious upon finding out. Fortunately, their father's stern gaze shut her up quickly.

Just before his father left the room, Elliot saw his mother standing in the doorway, a look of anguish on her face. But there was also confusion. She was upset because he was, but she didn't know anything other than that. His father had kept his confidence, and had not even spoken to his mother. He was grateful and saddened by that. Grace Wade loved Gemma and would be devastated to hear what happened to her. It was best to leave her in the dark for the time being.

Turning his eyes away from the clock, Elliot closed his eyes, and then immediately wished he hadn't. A flash of Gemma's face the moment he saw her in that alley beat behind his eyes. She had been terrified, thinking he was going to hurt her before she realized who he was.

He wanted to throw up, but since he hadn't eaten anything, there was nothing to expunge. So instead, he just took deep breaths to fight off the nausea and keep the images at bay. It wasn't long before the calming effect of his deep breaths pulled him under.

His dreams were filled with emptiness. Everywhere he turned, nothing but desolate landscape appeared before him, and the most horrifying feeling of being alone. He tried to cry out for anyone, but it almost seemed like his voice bounced right back on him, not even an echo to offer comfort. Years and years seemed to pass, years and years of nothingness before he finally heard a voice.

"Elliot!" Gasping for breath, his eyes opened, and there before him, sat his father.

"What time is it?" he asked through a dry mouth.

"Just after two. You were screaming." Dalton Wade sat staring at his son for a long while. He almost seemed to be studying Elliot. After a moment, he spoke. "You were um, you were pleading for someone to stop and kept calling out Gemma's name. I heard you from downstairs."

Elliot felt shock color him. He didn't feel like he'd slept nearly the whole day away. And he didn't have any remembrance of seeing anyone in his dream. He was surrounded by nothing, in fact. He knew that because he still felt it shroud him. But maybe his mind was shielding him. He didn't know. "Sorry, I don't remember anything."

Dalton nodded. "That's normal. How are you feeling, otherwise?"

He thought for a moment, feeling the last part of emptiness dissipate from his bones. He still felt ill, like the memories wouldn't shake from his stomach no matter how hard he tried to block them. But other than that, he felt as good as to be expected, given the circumstances.

"I'm okay, I guess," he answered almost soundlessly. He sat up, leaning against the headboard and looked at his hands clasped in his lap. He didn't want to feel anything, so he tried to avoid looking at his father. Elliot knew the moment his eyes met his father's, he would want to cry again. That's why he was avoiding his mother so diligently. He wouldn't be able to withstand the pain in his mother's green eyes. "I still wish I could go back in time."

"That's to be expected, son." Dalton looked at him, ducking his head to catch Elliot's eyes. "I haven't said anything to your mother yet, but she knows something is very wrong. Christie went to her first, of course, so she was worried about you for that. She came to me and asked me to speak with you."

"Did you… did you say anything to her?"

"No," his father answered immediately. "No, after I spoke to you, she asked me if you were okay. I simply told her you had a rough night and when you were ready, you would let us in. But I did let her know it was something serious, and that we needed to be there for you no matter what."

"You make it sound like I did something wrong," Elliot coughed out a laugh empty of humor.

"I explained it better than that, I assure you," his father laughed back. But then he sobered. "She's very worried though. You and your sister hardly ever fight, and this didn't sound like a small squabble."

"I didn't mean to yell at her, I just got so tired of her ragging on me, especially after the night I'd had. It was too much and she didn't seem to care."

"I know, and I've talked to her about that. Your sister knows better than to talk to you how she did. I did not rear my children to be mean-spirited."

Elliot nodded. "Gemma is mad at me."

Shock colored Dalton's face. "Why?"

"Because I told you what happened," he replied defeated. "I know I should have stayed quiet, that I was betraying the trust she had in me, I just, I couldn't help myself."

"Oh, Elliot." He was pulled into his father's embrace. It was warm and reminded him of childhood. "I don't think she's mad at you. Not really, anyhow. I'm sure she's hurt, because what happened to her is not something to be taken lightly. But I don't think she's mad at you."

He couldn't believe his father, not after the way Gemma sounded when she hung up the phone. He couldn't get passed the way her voice broke when she learned of his betrayal. "She probably doesn't even want me to go with her now. Shit, she's probably already gone to see the police. Probably decided to go earlier to avoid going with me altogether."

His dad shook his head. "She hasn't gone yet, son."

Elliot snorted in disbelief. "She was supposed to talk to me today. She hasn't yet, and she knows I wouldn't hesitate to answer if she did call." He shook his head.

With a sigh, Dalton lifted Elliot's phone off the nightstand, and handed it to his son. "Try calling her. Maybe she's afraid you won't want to talk to her, embarrassed because she was so upset." Elliot just stared at his phone, as though it would bite him if he tried to touch it. It hadn't rang all day. "You'll never know unless you try. At the worst, you call and she doesn't answer, at least then you'll know."

He nodded but wasn't buying it. He didn't want to know, because not knowing meant he could pretend. Knowing meant she hated him. But he did know that he couldn't go on forever not knowing because pretending only would last so long. "Okay, okay, I can do this."

"Yes, you can," his father murmured as he rose from the bed to leave the room, giving Elliot his privacy.

She was the first contact on his speed dial. His finger hovered over the number until he breathed out and hit call. With baited breath, Elliot prayed his best friend was still his best friend.

*LtB*

She'd been lying in bed the whole day not wanting to move. Leigh had left her at ten that morning to shower and get ready for the day. It had been a rough night. Caroline had come in to check on her several times since Leigh left, and her father had even come in to sit with her for a while too. It was strange to see him now. There was always a smile in his eyes. But now, his eyes were dark and sad. Gemma wanted to cry at that because she was the reason he farther was no longer the happy man she knew him to be. If only….

After taking a shower at noon, Gemma made an appearance in the kitchen, but only for a glass of water. She then returned to her room to stare out the window. The television held no interest for her, not that it really had before. There were no movies she could think to watch. And her beloved books only seemed to taunt her. There was always a pretty resolution in her stories, but she wouldn't be able to find one for herself.

Her mind drifted back to the book she'd bought, that she’d stashed just inside of her tattered jacket, upon leaving the Barnes and Noble parking lot. Given the description of that story, she felt even more inclined to want to read that now because there did not appear to be a happy or tidy ending to that tale. Perhaps once the report was filed, and they'd taken everything that was needed, she would begin the book. Fictional monsters were so much easier to deal with now that she'd met real life ones.

The one thing she hadn't let herself think about the whole day was Elliot. It was too painful. She knew she'd hurt him terribly by being so cold to him. And after speaking with Leigh, after hearing her sister explain Elliot's reasoning for needing to speak with his father, Gemma felt even worse. Of course he had been affected by what had happened to her. Of course it would bother him seeing her like that. It would affect anyone, even strangers.