Somewhere Only We Know (21 page)

“Alisha,” Callum bellowed
, as he emerged from the bathroom, still towel drying his hair.  He paused briefly, surprised to see her already standing in his office. He had been like a bear with a sore head since he returned to New York, a few days earlier. His mood had only been made worse by the idiot cab driver, who drove straight through the huge puddle on the road and soaked Callum to the skin in muddy water.

He had been to dinner with a client and was heading back to the office to get some work completed
, when he got drenched right through.

When he got back to his office
he was surprised to find Alisha still there, working after nine. He grunted at her, as he passed her by and went straight for a shower in his personal bathroom. He then changed into his clean trousers and shirt. He always kept a change of clothes at the office.

“Yes, sir,” Alisha said
, as she jumped with fright. She turned and saw Callum taking his seat behind his desk, his face was like thunder. She was still holding his phone, so she quickly sat it down on his desk.

“I want the Jenkins file
immediately,” he barked without looking up from his desk. “And a coffee, black, no sugar.”

“Yes, sir,” she hurried out of the office. She hated
it when he was in a mood like this. She felt even more nervous than she usually did. These past few weeks had been a nightmare. He seemed in a permanent bad mood. She grabbed the file and got the coffee he asked for, before she quickly hurried back to Callum’s office.

“I need the Coleman account too,” he said
without looking up at his secretary. “And I want you to clear my schedule tomorrow, I have a ton of work to sort through. Apparently nobody did a thing around here, while I was away.”

“Here is your coffee, Mr. Greyson,” she said as she place
d the files and the coffee down on the desk in front of Callum. “Sir, while you were in the shower…”

“Where is the
Jenkins file?” Callum interrupted her mid-sentence. Alisha reached for the file she had just sat down on the desk. As she pulled it out, the cup of coffee she brought Callum, tipped over and spilled all over Callum’s desk.

“JESUS CHRIST!” Callum screamed, as he was up on
his feet in one clear movement and managed to avoid the river of coffee, streaming from his desk.

“Oh my G
od,” Alisha exclaimed, completely mortified. She grabbed some tissues from the box on the desk and started to mop the coffee up. She picked up the files from the desk to move them to safety, but instead they spilled down to the floor. “Mr. Greyson, I’m so sorry.”

Then, much t
o her horror, she could feel the tears well in her eyes. She dropped to the floor and began to pick up the files, while she tried to blink back the tears.

Callum stood for a moment a
nd watched her, realising it was his boorish behaviour that had made her cry.

“I
’m sorry,” Callum said, as he crouched down next to Alisha. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I am just having a bad day.”

“It’s okay,” she sniffed, as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. Callum reached back up to the
top of the desk and grabbed some tissues from the box.

“No, it really isn’t,” he said
, handing her the tissues. “It’s just, things haven’t been really good for me lately, but none of it is your fault and I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”

“It’s okay, honestly,” she said, as she looked up and gave him a big teary smile.

“Come on,” he said, standing back up and offering her his hand. “Let’s get you up off the floor.”

He pu
lled her up from the floor, then quickly reached down and picked up the files.

Alisha grabbed more tissues and cleaned up the spilt coffee. She was so embarrassed she cried in front of her boss. She thought he must think she is a complete and utter idiot now.

“So,” Callum said, as he retook his seat behind the desk. “I will sort out these papers, if you could just go and get the other file I requested, please.”

“Certain
ly, Mr. Greyson.” Alisha replied, then quickly hurried out the door.

Callum sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. He had been back in New York six days and there had been no word from Kate. He had thought of calling her
, but given how things were left between them that day in her house, he thought that he needed to give her some time and space.

Still, she was all he could think about and he longed to talk to her.
He looked at his clock on the desk. It was almost 10 pm which made it almost 7 pm in Seattle. She would be home, he hoped.

A tidal wave of jealousy coursed through his body, as it did every time he thought that she might be with Finn.

Screw it,
he thought, as he reached for the phone and began to dial in her number, but put the phone back down when Alisha returned with the file he was waiting for.

“Thank you Alisha,” Callum said and smiled at the girl. He decided he needed to stop taking his problems out on everyone else, especially Alisha, who he knew, he had been a comple
te bastard to, the past few days. “You can head home for the night now, it’s almost 10 pm. You shouldn’t have to be here just because I am.”

“I don’t mind,”
she smiled and added. “All I have is a cat to go home to, so I am in no rush. I can stay and help.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” Callum smiled and indicated to the
chair on the opposite side of the table. “Have a seat.”

They both got to work on the paper work Callum needed to get completed, and if he was honest, Callum had to admit
, having Alisha there was helping him get through the work much quicker than it would have if he were doing it alone.

When Callum check
ed the time again it was almost midnight. He looked up at Alisha who was deep in thought.

“It’s almost midnight,” he said, feeling guilty for keeping her here that late.
“You should really call it a night.”

“There isn’t that much left to do,” Alisha said
, as she looked up from her paper work and smiled at Callum. “I really don’t mind staying.”

“Have you even eaten anything?” he asked when the though
t occurred to him.

“I had a sandwich earlier,” she shrugged.

“Jesus, you must be starving,” Callum said, as he grabbed his phone. “How does pizza sound?”

“Very good,” Alisha said
, as her smile widened.

Twenty-
five minutes later they were tucking into a delicious pepperoni pizza. Callum walked over to his drinks cabinet and pulled out a soda for himself, and poured a glass of white wine for Alisha.

“Thank you,” Alisha said
, a little surprised, as he placed the glass down in front of her. “Aren’t you going to join me?”

“I will be driving home,” Callum replied and took a sip of his soda. “And I never drink and drive.”

“Do you live far from here?” Alisha asked, feeling relaxed enough to speak to her boss as she never had before.

“
Not too far,” Callum replied. “I have an apartment on the upper east side.”

Alisha just nodded and took another sip of her wine.

“What about you,” Callum asked. “Where is home for you?”

“I live about four blocks from her
e,” she replied quickly. “It’s a tiny studio apartment, I am saving for somewhere a little bigger.”

“Where is your family from?” Callum asked
, as he reached for another slice of pizza.

“I am from Nebraska,” she said
, as she sipped her wine, feeling herself becoming more and more relaxed. “My mom and dad have a small farm there, my three brothers still live at home. My mom hates I moved to New York. She thinks New York will corrupted me.”

Callum couldn’t help but laugh.

“Maybe she just misses you,” he said, as he leaned back in his chair.

“I doubt it, my mother and I were never close,” Alisha shrugged.

“I know how that feels,” Callum sighed, as he thought about his own overbearing mother. He had been avoiding her calls since he returned from Seattle. He was in no mood for her, “I told you so,” speech.

“Don’t you get on with your mother?” she asked
, though it didn’t really surprise her that he didn’t. She had spoken to his mother several times while he had been away and she was a complete bitch on the phone.

“My mother approves of nothing I ever did,”
Callum said with a small laugh. “She hated that I went to live in Ireland, which made the decision to stay there all the more appealing.”

“Wow, you lived in Ireland?” Alisha replied. “I always wanted to go there. I love the accent.” Suddenly she remember
ed about the call that had come through while Callum was in the shower. The girl on the phone had an Irish accent.

“Oh, I completely forgot,” she said
, as she sat her wine down on Callum’s desk. “You had a call while you were in the shower.”

“Did you take a message,” Callum asked
, as he reached for another slice of pizza.

“She didn’t leave one,” Alisha replied oblivious that her words had stopped Callum in his tracks. “I asked did she want to leave a
message, and she said no, no message, but she did have the cutest Irish accent.”

“What did you say to her?” Callum asked as he dropped the slice of pizza back in the box.

“I told her you were getting dressed,” Alisha said, sensing she had done something wrong.

“YOU TOLD HER I WAS GETTING DRESS
ED!” Callum shouted, as he was on his feet in one fluid movement. His mind raced, as he could only imagine what Kate thought when Alisha answered his phone.

“I said you had been in the shower,” Alisha added, her voice shaky with nerves. She knew she ha
d fucked up and that he was mad as hell.

“What did she say exactly?” Callum demanded as he paced up and down. Alisha sat in her chair, her heart raced
, as she watched him. She had no idea what to do.

“She asked to speak to you,” she began
, as she shifted nervously in her seat. “I told her you couldn’t come to the phone, as you were dressing after a shower. I asked her did she want to leave a message and she saidm no, no message.”

Callum walked to the floor length window and looked out over the lights of the city below.

“Mr. Greyson, I am sorry if…” she struggled to find the right thing to say.

“It’s okay, Alisha,” he sighed
without turning back to look at her. “It wasn’t your fault. I think we can finish up for the evening.  I am grateful for all your help.

Alisha slowly rose from her chair unsure of what she should say to Callum
, so she just nodded and headed for the office door. She paused at the door and turned to look back at Callum.

“Goodnight, Mr. Greyson,
” she said, before she disappeared out the door.

Callum pressed his head against the cool glass and sighed deeply. Why couldn’t things go the way they were supposed to
, just one time?

He turned and walked back to his desk and took his seat. He took a deep
breath and picked up the phone and dialled in Kate’s number and hit call. He brought the phone to his ear and waited.

It rang again and again, but there was no answer. Once it rang out,
Callum hit redial, but once again, there was no answer.

“FUCK!” He yelled
, as he lobbed his phone across the room. He rested his elbow on the desk in front of him and buried his face in his hands.

He knew she was mad
and was refusing to answer his calls. He knew she got the wrong idea by Alisha answering his phone. He had no idea how he was going to fix this.

Suddenly the phone began to ring from the far side of the room, were it had landed when he threw it.

Callum was up on his feet in a heartbeat.

She is calling back
, he said to himself.

He picked it up and without even looking he pressed answer and brought the phone to his ear.

“KATE!” He exclaimed down the phone.

“It’s me,” James
’ voice came through the speaker and Callum’s heart sunk. “What’s happened?”

“James,” Callum said, as he slumped against the wall of his office and slid down to the floor. “I can’t take much more.
”

Kate barely slept a wink. It was a little after seven when she climbed out of bed, deciding she just couldn’t lay there anymore. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, she slipped her feet into a pair of soft canvas runners and headed for the front door. She let herself out of the house, quietly, so not to wake her two friends. She needed some space and some fresh air. She needed time to think.

She walked for about an hour until she found herself at the seat outside the grocery store
where she had first met Jack. She sat down on the bench and watched as people began their day. Some rushing to work, some out walking their dogs, all lost in their own lives.

She thought about Jack.
She wondered what he would tell her to do about Callum. She knew she had done exactly what Callum did that morning he found Finn in her house, she jumped to conclusion and wouldn’t give him a chance to explain, but the truth was, she was afraid.

She was afraid he would tell her it was over, that he had moved on.

Her two friends had tried to talk sense into her the night before, and when Callum’s name flashed on the screen of her phone, her heart hammered so hard she thought it would burst through her chest. Olly screamed at her when she refused to answer it. She just wasn’t ready to hear they were really over.

Even Leah was angry with her for not giving him a chance to explain, but what explanation could there be. It was after nine and Kate knew Callum never worked that late
, so that meant, he probably had some girl back in their apartment, why else would she have had access to his personal mobile phone. Also there was the fact there she said he had been in the shower and was getting dressed. She hoped to God she was wrong, but logically, there could be only one explanation.

Her head ached. She just wished
, that for one day, life could return to something that resembled normality.

In just
six days’ time, it will have been exactly one year since her world was torn apart. It would be Emily’s first anniversary. She had no idea where that time had gone. It had passed so quickly, yet felt like a life time since she last held her beautiful little girl.

Plus in
two days’ time, it should have been Emily’s fifth birthday.

She thought
back to the day of Emily’s fourth birthday. They were happy, they had such a bright happy future. They were supposed to have a new baby, they were supposed to be together.

Yet, here she was, miles from home, miles from the one person that she was supposed t
o spend the rest of her life with. Her heart hurt. She just wanted to feel she belonged somewhere, once again.

She knew w
here that one place was and she knew what she had to do. She needed to let go of the past and try and think about the future. She knew exactly where she needed to be and she needed to go before she changed her mind.

Fifteen minutes later she was standing outside Jack
’s front door. She took a deep breath and knocked softly on the door. It was a couple of minutes before she heard someone move from the far side of the door.

“Kate!” A very sleepy Finn said
, surprised to find her standing at his door at that hour of the morning. “Is everything okay?”

“Not really,” she sigh
ed, but then smiled. “But I think it will be. Can we talk?”

“Sure,” Finn said, as he stepped
back to let her into his father’s home. “Come in, I will make some coffee.”

Kate sat on the back porch and waited for Finn to join her with two coffees. She looked up and smile
d nervously at him when he appeared at the back door.

He sat the coffees down on the table and took the
seat across from Kate. He watched Kate carefully as she picked up the coffee and took a sip. He knew something was on her mind. It was written all over her face. Be his gut instinct told him, it was something he was not going to like either.

“So,” she said nervously, suddenly looking at Finn, she wasn’t as certain about her decision. “How are you doing this morning?”

“Still in shock, if I am honest,” Finn said sadly and the tears danced in his eyes. “I just keep expecting to see him standing there. Telling me what a complete wuss I am, crying like a girl,”

“I really don’t think he would,” Kate couldn’t help but laugh. “He was so p
roud of you. Of you and Sara. You both meant everything to him.”

“I hope so,” Finn said. “I really do. I just wish that when I think about him it didn’t have to hurt so much.
I want to try and think of the good times we all had together, but all I can remember is that day here in the yard, him lying there face down.”

“It’s still so fresh,” Kate replied. “I
could tell you it will get better, easier even. All the crap I was told when I lost Emily, but the truth is, it doesn’t get better or easier. You just learn to handle the pain differently. See I realized, that you can't get rid of the pain. The pain is a part of you, it never leaves. It fades, it goes deeper inside, but then it sneaks back up on you when you least expect it. I don’t know that it ever truly leaves you. It’s been a year and sometimes it hurts so much, I can barely breathe.”

“Then how do you
carry on?” Finn asked. “How do you get up and face each day?”

“You do it because you have to,” Kate replied honestly. “You don’t really have a choice. But eventually you will do it with
out having to convince yourself it’s the right thing. You do it because you want to. But it does take time.”

Finn just nodded and sipped his
coffee. They both sat in silence for a few minutes each lost in their own thought.

“Now,” Finn said finally
when he couldn’t bare the suspense any longer. “Are you going to tell me why you really came here?”

“I…em,”
Kate said, suddenly she didn’t know how to put in words, what she had come there to say. She dropped her eyes down to her hands, unable to look hat him anymore.

“Kate,”
Finn said reaching over and taking hold of her hand. “It’s me, you know you can tell me anything.”

“I know,” she said letting her eyes meet his.
“But it’s hard to find the words.”

“I’m not going to like this,” he said, he face dropping a little. “Am I?”

“Finn, these past few weeks,” Kate said leaning forward in her chair. “You have become very important to me. You are so sweet and I know, you would never ever hurt me.”

“Then give
me a chance Kate,” Finn asked. “I know there is a lot of history with you and Callum, but where is he Kate? Why isn’t he here fighting for you? Because if you were mine, I would fight tooth and nail to keep you. I would never walk away.”

“Finn, please,”
Kate said.

“No, listen,” he said, as he got up from his chair and knelt down in front of her. “I know you think you are not right for me, but shouldn’t I be the judge of that. We could try. I would spend the rest of my life making you happy.”

“Finn,” Kate said reaching up, taking his face in her hands and kissing him softly on the lips. “I wish I could say yes, I really do.”

“But,” Finn said knowing where this was going
.

“But, I need to find myself,” Kate said. “I need to learn how I can be happy with me before I can be happy with someone else.”

“And that someone else is Callum?” Finn sighed.

“Maybe,” Kate replied. “All I know is, I have to let go
of the past and start thinking about my future. So I need to find a place where I can be happy. Somewhere I feel like I belong. So, I have decided I am going home.”

“To New York?” Finn asked as he slowly st
ood up and sat back down on his chair.

“No,” she said, knowing he was not going to like what was coming. “I am going home to Ireland. I need to be with my family, if I am ever going to find me again. I figure I should start in
a place that is part of my soul. The place where I am closest to Emily.”

“I see,” Finn said and sighed deeply. “So when do you plan on heading back?”

Kate hesitated. She looked down at the ground, unable to tell him she was going home sooner rather than later.

“Kate,” Finn pushed.

“If I can get a flight,” Kate said, taking a deep breath. “I hope to fly out tonight.”

“TONIGHT!” Finn exclaimed.

“It’s Emily’s birthday in two days,” Kate explained. “I think I need to be…there…It feels closer, somehow.”

“I
guess I understand that,” Finn said with a nod. “But, I could go with you.”

“You can’t leave Sara,” Kate replied with a sad smile. “She needs her big brother. Besides, I need to do this myself. I need to go find myself, somewhere only we know.”

“We? As in you and Callum?” Finn asked.

“I know it’s stupid,” Kate s
hrugged. “Truth is, I think Cal has moved on. There was this girl…anyway, that’s not important. It’s just, if he wants to find me…he will know where to look.”

An hour later, Finn
walked Kate to the front door.

“I wish there was something I could s
ay to make you change your mind,” he said as he shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

“I will keep in touch,” Kate reassured him. “I promise.”

“Do,” he said with a smile. He leaned in and kissed Kate on the cheek. “Take care of yourself, Kate.”

“You too,” Kate said and she without thinking she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him
so tightly. Slowly she released him and stepped back.

“Goodbye, Finn
Morgan,” she said with a smile, before she turned and walked down the footpath.

When Kate got back to the house, she found a frantic looking Leah and Olly. They had been calling and calling he
r, but she had left the house without her purse, so she didn’t even have her phone with her.

When
she told them, she was planning on going back to Ireland, the reaction was very mixed. Leah was happy, but Olly wanted her to call Callum before she made any decision.

Kate told her that there was nothing to
discuss, her mind was made up.

She told her friends, as the rent was paid up for another two months on the house they were welcome to stay on for a while but both g
irls decided they would travel back with Kate.

“What are you going to do once you get back to Ireland” Leah asked as the
y packed up Kate’s few belongings.

“I’m not sure yet,” Kate shrugged. “For now, money is still not an issue. Between my savings and the money I received from the crash, I have time to decide.”

“How about going back to the hospital?” Olly suggested, hopefully.

“Maybe in time,” Kate nodded. “But I am deciding nothing for now.”

“What will you do with your car?” Leah asked.

“I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest,” Kate shrugged. “Maybe leave it here, try and sell it. I can’t really bring it with me.”

“Maybe Callum will want it?” Olly suggested, hoping Kate would call him to ask him.

“I will contact him, once I am settled.” Kate replied.

In the end there wasn’t that much, most of her belongings fit in her cases. What she couldn’t fit in, she packed into boxes and had a courier come collect them, to have them shipped home.

Eight
hours later, Kate, along with a very happy Leah and a not so happy Olly, taxied down the runway of SeaTac International Airport. She was going home.

As the plane rose into the night sky, Kate looked down at the city below that had been her home for the past few week
s and she felt a pang of sadness.

She would miss Seattle. She loved her little house. It had become home to her. She felt regret that she was leaving it behind. She would also miss Finn.

He meant a great deal to Kate. Still, she knew she was making the right decision. He needed to find someone who could give him their heart completely and utterly. That was something Kate knew she could never do.

Then she thought about Callum.
She loved him more than life itself, but was that enough? She really didn’t know.

For now
, she would have to settle for being in their little piece of heaven. Somewhere only they knew.