Sorrows of Adoration (14 page)

I weighed his logic
against that of his mother and could not choose the winner. It all
depended on whether or not I could live up to his expectations. If
by some miracle I could, then he would be right, and I could surely
support him in all things and perhaps inspire him to greater rule.
If I could not do what he thought I could, then the other
predictions would come true, and I would be responsible for great
tragedy.

And there in the middle
of the logic and the weighed consequence was the simple fact that I
loved him more dearly than I ever imagined possible.

Jarik gently took my
hand in his. I looked at him, and his kind smile warmed my heart.
“Aenna, truly you are a good lady. In the end, that is all that
matters,” he said. The big man guided my hand into Kurit’s and let
it go.

I turned my eyes to
Kurit and saw that he beheld me with tender affection. Wretched
tears spilled from my eyes as a result, signalling to me that I had
lost my battle. He pulled me close, embracing me, and I no longer
had the will to push him away. He kissed my forehead, and when I
looked up at him he kissed my mouth sweetly.

When he ended the kiss
and looked into my eyes again, he said, “I can only bear to ask it
once more. Will you marry me?”

I broke his gaze,
searching for the strength to do what was right, but could no
longer ascertain what that was. I looked around the room. Jarik
watched, expressionless. The other inn staff stood wide-eyed and
gaping, like fishes out of water—an image that would have made me
laugh uproariously any other day. A customer in the corner caught
my eye because he looked oddly tense in anticipation of my
answer.

I looked back at Kurit.
He, too, was tense in anticipation, and I could see that he was
trying to ready himself for another rejection.

“Yes,” I said. “Though
I fear I do you no favour by saying so. Yes, if I am what you truly
want, then I shall marry you.”

Delight and relief
flashed across his face, and he exclaimed, “Gods be praised, Aenna,
thank you!” He threw his arms in the air and shouted, “It is yes!
She has said yes!” As the people in the inn cheered, he wrapped his
arms around me again joyously, picking me up off my feet and
spinning me around. He set me back down and kissed me with youthful
enthusiasm as he so often had back at Endren.

Then he stepped back
and searched his pockets for something. Out of one he pulled the
gold chain and pendant he had given me the day I left. I could not
help but smile, and seeing me thus he went behind me to put it back
around my neck. I lifted the braid of my hair out of his way as he
clasped it.

When he was done I
turned to him again and fell into his arms. I had dreamed this
dream many a night as I had lay awake missing him, and here he was,
and again to marry me.

He startled me as he
lifted me off the floor, cradled in his arms. He turned to Deggle
and proclaimed, “I am terribly sorry to steal away your employee,
innkeeper, but this dear lady is wanted back at home, in Endren.”
Then he ceremoniously carried me outside, where their horses
awaited.

Jarik followed us out,
and Kurit turned when he called, swinging me about in his arms.

“Aenna, do you have
belongings I should gather?” asked Jarik.

I looked to Kurit to
put me down so I could go and fetch my things, but he would not. “I
just won you back, and I’m not letting go,” he said teasingly.

Jarik gave him an
impatient look, so quickly I answered, “I don’t have much. Just a
dress and a hairbrush. And a little bit of money saved up.”

“You won’t need any of
that anymore,” said Kurit.

“Well then, tell Deggle
he should divide the money amongst the other barmaids. I suppose
that’s only fair, for they’ll be shorthanded without me. But I’ll
need the dress to change into, unless you want me to wear this same
dirty one the whole way to Endren.”

“Home, Aenna. Call it
home,” Kurit said, beaming at me.

I went on, unable to
cope with that notion just at that moment. “And I’ll need the brush
on the journey as well. I cannot bear to have my hair
unbrushed.”

“Or go without a bath.
I remember.” Kurit laughed. He swung me up to his saddle so
joyously that I almost rolled right over the horse and would have
if he hadn’t still been holding my legs.

Jarik went back into
the inn to fetch my things, as Kurit took his place on the saddle
behind me. Because I was riding side-saddle, as was appropriate to
an unmarried woman, he was able to turn my face to him for another
sweet kiss.

Jarik returned with my
belongings and tucked them into his satchel. He mounted his horse,
and we were off.

So there I was once
again leaving my own life and employment for this man, and with no
less trepidation than the last time. Of course, then I had feared
what might have been lurking on the dark path at night, while this
time I worried if I was condemning us to misery as Queen Kasha had
predicted.

* * *

We rode quickly down
Westpath, slowing to rest the horses when we turned onto Southpath.
At that pace, Jarik was able to ride beside Kurit and me instead of
in front of us, and we were all able to talk.

“How did you possibly
find me?” I inquired.

“I didn’t,” Kurit said,
his arms loosely around me as he held the reins. “Jarik did.” He
told me the full story of how he learned I had gone.

“I came to see you
before dinner, and there was no one in your room. I had been
planning to ask you if you were up to joining everyone in the Great
Hall for dinner that night, but when I couldn’t find you I assumed
you were off with Leiset somewhere, trying on more dresses or some
such thing. I didn’t worry in the slightest and simply assumed that
I’d ask you to join us for dinner the following night.

“Then as I was climbing
the stairs on my way to my chambers, I saw Leiset leaving the south
wing, alone, and looking distraught. I called to her, but she
pretended not to hear me and hurried away. I found that very odd,
but I decided not to pursue her at that moment. Instead, I went to
my chambers and found my manservant Gilrin looking sheepish. For a
moment I wondered if Leiset and Gilrin had had some sort of romance
that had gone sour, even though rumour has it that Leiset is not
fond of men. I asked him what was wrong, and he said that Leiset
had brought a note from you. When I asked for it, he didn’t want to
give it to me, as if delaying the truth would make it easier.

“When finally he
acquiesced and I read the note, I was naturally upset.”

I felt a twinge of
guilt and looked away. In doing so, I saw that Jarik was looking at
Kurit rather incredulously.

Kurit saw Jarik’s
expression and said, “Oh, fine. I was more than upset. I … I
might have lost my temper a bit.” He received another look from
Jarik and admitted, “I went completely mad. I ran to your room, and
of course you were not there, and neither was Leiset. So I stormed
around the palace, shouting out both your names, making several
servants go pale with my wrath, I’m afraid.

“I finally found Leiset
sitting in the southeast tower steps, weeping pitifully. I ordered
her to tell me where you had gone. She replied that she didn’t
know, that you wouldn’t tell her because you didn’t want me to find
you. She knew only that you had left Endren and did not intend to
return.

“I stormed back through
the palace, shouting orders to have my horse and travel gear
readied immediately. Of course, by that time everyone was buzzing
about what was going on, and …” He stopped and sighed a very
frustrated sigh. “And that’s when my mother approached me. She said
she regretted not having had the chance to meet you, but now that
you were gone, it was time for me to calm down and go on with my
life.

“By then Jarik had
joined the discussion and suggested we further question Leiset. He
and I went back, found her still sitting on the tower steps, and
demanded to know everything—why you had left, what you had said, if
there was any hint as to what direction you may have gone. She was
reluctant to say anything, clearly wanting to respect your wishes,
but I pulled rank and ordered her to tell me. So don’t be angry
with her, Aenna, because she only told me what she did when I
forced her to do so.

“Leiset told me that
you had met my mother, and it infuriated me that mother had
expressed regret over not meeting you in such a blunt lie. I knew
immediately that that meant she had said something to send you
away. When Leiset told me that Mother actually ordered you away, I
was ready to storm out of the palace again, but Jarik stopped me.
He refused to let me out of the tower until I calmed down, at which
point we decided that it would be foolish of me to storm out
looking for you only to have Mother convince Father to send the
Guard out to drag me back home. So Jarik offered to go look for
you.”

“That wasn’t the only
reason,” Jarik said. “It would not have been safe for you to run
about wildly. Not as we had just quelled that little skirmish in
Alesha. That was where I decided to look for you first, in case you
had tried to return home.”

Kurit nodded. “Jarik
left that night because we were afraid you might not have
considered the danger of returning. But of course you were not so
foolish and had gone the other direction entirely. So Jarik rode
from town to town along the main roads looking for you, asking if
you had been seen.”

“We put up
proclamations in several cities offering a reward to anyone who
could provide us with sound information as to your whereabouts,”
said Jarik.

“But Mother found out
about that and ordered them torn down.”

“Eventually,” said
Jarik, “I was fortunate enough to be passing through Mikilrun, and
the Gods clearly wanted you found, for there before me was a woman
with red hair, quite unusual in these parts, sweeping the steps of
the inn. I watched long enough to be certain it was you.”

“He rode fast back to
Endren, told me he’d found you, and we rushed here.”

“After telling King
Tarken that Kurit needed a hunting trip to get his mind off of
you,” Jarik mentioned.

“Yes, which was a
fitting excuse, for I constantly brooded for you, refusing most of
the time to even speak to my mother. When I made the foolish
mistake of thinking that perhaps I could speak sensibly to her, she
kept talking about Sashken. ‘Isn’t Sashken lovely, isn’t she so
very well-bred,’ Mother would say. I told her bluntly that I
despised Sashken and that she could stop trying to make that
marriage happen, because it never would. She said my silly,
childish behaviour would tear the nation apart if I didn’t get my
head together.”

“But wait,” I said,
interrupting. “You said you were going hunting? So nobody knows I’m
on my way back with you?”

Kurit shook his
head.

I sighed heavily. “That
will certainly not make things easier when we arrive.”

“You’re not having
second thoughts, are you?” Kurit asked worriedly. He moved his arms
a bit closer around me.

“No, but …” I
sighed again.

Kurit pulled me towards
him in full embrace. “Don’t fret, Aenna. I won’t let her send you
away again. And I won’t let her berate you any further.”

“So how do you plan to
do this, then?” I asked. “Surely you don’t intend to dance through
the door with me on your arm.”

“Why not?” he asked.
“They’ll have to get used to the idea that there is no other woman
for me and that I am going to marry you. I don’t require Mother’s
approval, so long as Father agrees to it.”

“Splendid,” I muttered.
“He’ll no doubt be furious that you’re flaunting me in your
mother’s face and will choose to side with her.”

“She’s right, Kurit,”
Jarik stated. “If you storm in there when we return and demand
approval, your father’s likely to think Aenna is causing you to
forget civility and thus might not be an appropriate
influence.”

“Well, we can’t live in
secret,” replied Kurit.

“No,” Jarik agreed.
“But I have a better idea. When we return to Endren, which will
likely be late tomorrow, you go back to the palace on your own.
I’ll escort Aenna to the Temple and tell Abbott Jhin the whole
story.”

Kurit burst into
laughter, and I gave him a strange look for it. “Sorry, Aenna, but
you have to understand that Abbott Jhin and Mother cannot stand
each other. He’s the High Abbott in Endren, yet he will not set
foot in the palace because she has insulted him far too
frequently.”

“Indeed,” said Jarik,
continuing. “He will no doubt be of great help. I’ll ask him to
hide Aenna in the Temple for a short time. At dinner the next
night, you shall announce that you have decided it is time for you
to choose a bride and shall make your decision over the next three
days.”

“Ugh,” Kurit groaned.
“Sashken will follow me about me day and night.”

“Suffer it, Kurit,”
Jarik retorted without sympathy. “On that third night at dinner,
you shall announce that you have chosen your bride and that no one
shall ever come between you. I will be waiting just inside the
doors with Aenna, and when I hear your announcement echo down the
hall, I shall bring her forth and present her to you.”

“The Queen will have my
head!” I exclaimed.

“No,” said Kurit,
seeming to understand Jarik’s plan. “No, she won’t. She won’t make
a public scene. She abhors the very thought.”

“Precisely,” said
Jarik. “There will be some murmuring, a great deal of surprise, but
most of those present will applaud your decision because they won’t
know what else to do. Then we’ll declare an impromptu celebration,
and we take Aenna around the room to introduce her formally to
everyone—”

“And keep Mother away
from her.”

“Yes.”