Spinster? (23 page)

The throw together ended up being chicken nuggets and strawberries for the girls and a half of a turkey sandwich for her. Kate and Ella were debating on what they'd name their hamster if they ever got one, when the doorbell rang.

"Nibbles."

"No! Hammy."

"Hammy? That's stupid," Ella said.

"Tess, Ella said stupid!"

Tess had stood up, needing to answer the door, which had rung a second time. "Ella, say silly, not stupid, please. I'm going to get the door. I'll be right back...Kate, eat you strawberries." The girls quietly bickered as she left the kitchen. She hoped it wasn't Wesley's mom, who he mentioned might stop by after her garden club meeting. Tess looked like a hot mess, but at least she was wearing a bra.
 

The beveled glass of the expansive iron door didn't give her the face of the person at the door, but the frame was definitely feminine. Tess swore under her breath, smoothing the wisps of hair back onto her head and pushed her glasses back into place. Yes, to top it off, she'd forgone her contacts in the name of comfort.

The woman at the door was not Mrs. Caraway. She was thin and looked nervous. Her dark hair was wild, but in a way that made her look beautiful more than disheveled.
 

"Hi, can I help you?"
 

The visitor twisted her hands and opened her mouth to speak, when Tess felt a little body behind her.

"Mom?"
 

One three letter word struck Tess like a bullet to the chest.
 

"Is that you?" Ella asked, her voice guarded.

The woman looked to Tess, then crouched down. "Yes...it's me Ella Marie. It's Momma."

"Mom?" a second shy voice asked behind Tess's other leg, her little arms wrapped around Tess's knee. Tess had yet to move or respond.
 

Tess let it sink in...this was Mila. This was their mother, and Wesley's ex-love of his life, standing two feet in front of them. It was like seeing a ghost. She couldn't even imagine what the girls must be feeling.

"Katie? Is that you? You're so big!" Mila's voice caught in her throat. She reached out a hand, letting it drop just as quickly. Tess stamped down the urge to point out that a mom shouldn't have to ask if it was her daughter or not, suddenly feeling fiercely protective of these little ones huddling behind her.

Tess finally found her voice. "What are you doing here?"
 

Mila looked at her and cowered slightly at her tone, then straightened, throwing her shoulders back, "I'm here to see my daughters. Is Wesley here?" Wesley. Oh, god. What would he think of this? Would he be pissed? Pleasantly surprised? Tess really had no idea and wanted to slam the door in this woman's face.

"Girls, go inside for just a minute. Let the grown ups talk, okay?" They pulled back reluctantly, and as Tess was shutting the door, she heard Kate ask, "Sissy, who was that?"

Tess took a big breath and wiped beneath her eyes. "I'm well aware of who you are, but I'm sure that Wesley was not expecting you today."

Mila lifted her shoulders. It was a small, unsure movement. "He wasn't. I wanted it to be a surprise. Look, I can see you care about the girls, but I'm their mother. Why don't you take the rest if the day off? I can watch them for the rest of the afternoon. I just want to see my family."

"Day off? Oooh, I'm not the nanny, and Wes is out of town. My suggestion to you is to contact him and arrange for a visit...that is, if he wants you to see them." Tess wished to all that was holy, that she'd looked better. Especially now, when Mila was looking at her, really looking at her.

"And who might you be?" Mila's tone was a touch frostier than it had been a moment before.

"Wes and I are seeing each other." That sounded more substantial than girlfriend.

"He lets random women he's sleeping with stay with my girls while he's away?"

Tess stood stunned at the audacity of that statement. She crossed her arms over her chest and stood tall. "First, you don't get to pass judgement on anyone. We're in a serious relationship and I don't sleep over, not that I have to explain myself to you. I think you know him well enough to retract that accusation anyway." She kept her voice low, but adamant.
 

"Look, I'm sorry. I had this idea in my head of how this was all going to go." Mila wiped tears from her face. Tess couldn't help but feel for her—when all she wanted to do was despise this woman who'd abandoned her family. "I've waited. Waited until I felt I was really strong enough to see them. I've spent a year getting serious about my treatment, staying on my medication, therapy...I knew if I called Wes he'd have been skeptical. I couldn't risk him refusing me the right to see my kids. Better to ask forgiveness..." Mila shrugged her delicate shoulders. In that moment, Tess saw the carefree young girl standing in the middle of the grass all those years ago.

"I'm sorry for all you've been through, I really am, but I have to think of those sweet girls in there. Just please, call Wes. Give him the courtesy. You owe him that much." Tess tried to keep the judgment from her voice, but failed. She felt sorry for Mila, but it didn't change the fact that the re-emergence of this woman was going to be very upsetting to everyone. She couldn't even think about what it meant to her...yet. She couldn't help but add, "He's doing a great job, ya know...raising those girls. They're happy and well-adjusted. Loved beyond belief...please think about that when you consider your next steps."
 

Tess turned and shut the door. She leaned her head against it once inside. She had the sinking feeling that things just went from exceptionally good, to astronomically complicated.

She pulled herself together and found the girls in Wes's room. They were sitting on his bed looking at a photo album. It didn't take a big leap to know whose face graced the glossy paper under their small fingers.

"Guys, you okay?" Tess stood at the doorway, not wanting to interrupt, as much as she wanted to make sure they were all right.
 

They looked up at the sound of her voice. "Was that really our mommy?"
 

"Yes, Kate, it was." Tess sighed and took a few steps into the room, the soft carpet squished under foot. She let her toes sink.
 
"How do you feel about that, Ella?" She directed the question to the eldest, knowing she was the one who must be reeling from their unexpected visitor. The half shoulder shrug she got in response tugged at her heart. She crossed the rest of the way and sat in the edge of the bed, wishing Wes was here to handle the questions and confusion. But he wasn't, so it fell to her.

"Girls, you know about your mom, right?"

"She's been real sick," Kate answered. Ella nodded.

"You know she would've been here all this time if she could've, right?"
 

They both nodded. "Nana said our mom missed us really bad and that she had our pictures hung in her room, so she could see our faces ever day, even if we couldn't be together," Ella answered. Nana, she knew, was Mila's mom. The girls went to stay with them every summer and they also came here to visit several times a year, continuing to be a part of their granddaughters' lives.

"Is she still here?" Ella asked. There was hope in her eyes, Tess saw it.
 

"Guys, I'm going to be honest with you. Your dad might be upset that your mom came today without him knowing, so just give them a chance to talk and work it out. I'm sure your mom will be back soon."

"Yeah, right." Ella was angry, and Tess couldn't blame her for that, not one bit. Kate didn't really seem to grasp the situation. She'd never met her mother. To her she was a one dimensional picture in an album.
 

"I want her to come back," Kate whined. Ella sat, silent, then closed the cover to the album, pushing it away.

"The sun's out now. Why don't we get dressed and go grab an ice cream?" The girls scrambled off the bed, the promise of sugar wiping away the moment. Tess wished it was that easy for her.
 

Snagging the large canvas bag that held her clothes, she dressed and braided her hair, taking her time with each overlap and twist. She glanced at her phone, knowing she had a call to make, but not really knowing where to start. When his voicemail picked up, she was filled with relief, gaining a reprieve, even if it was temporary. They could talk when he got home, no need to stress him out before his flight. She almost convinced herself that was the reason she hadn't left a message.

"She just showed up? Walked right up to the fucking front door?"
 

Wes had come home from his trip a few hours before. Tess hadn't had the chance to tell him before Kate beat her to it.

"Daddy, Momma came over today." Needless to say it did not go over well. He managed to hold it together long enough to put the girls to bed.
 

"And you let the girls see her?" His anger wasn't for her, but it was directed at her nonetheless, and that wasn't fair.

"Hey, stop right there. The doorbell rang, I told the girls to stay put. They didn't. I didn't know who it was! I thought she was a neighbor who'd lost her dog or something. How the hell was I supposed to know?" This was the first time they'd fought, and Mila was the cause. She'd been back in the picture less than twenty-four hours and she was already causing trouble.

Wes seemed to compose himself and walked over to Tess, who was standing with her arms crossed in the corner of the living room. He pulled her in to his chest. "I'm sorry." He kissed her temple and inhaled. "I know it's not your fault, it's hers."

"What's going to happen now?" Tess asked, into his t-shirted pecs.

"I'll handle it." He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "This has nothing to do with us, you hear me? I know you must be freaking out about what it all means. How it's going to change things. It's not."

"Wes, it changes everything."

"It changes nothing. I still need you.
You
."

"What?"
 

"I need you, Tess."
 

She bit her lip and swallowed the lump in her throat. "I might need you a little bit, too."

"You do?"

She sniffed, then laughed. "Don't sound so surprised." He smiled and kissed her, long and soft.
 

When they broke away she sighed and leaned into his chest again. The I need you being said should have eased her mind, but they only added another layer to the already complex lattice that was becoming her life. Maybe things would be okay. She was just in for a visit. After she left, everything would go back to normal.

But she didn't leave.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Three months. That was how long it had been since Mila had shown up on Wes's doorstep. Tess's disappointment was increased by the fact that Mila had rented an apartment a mere twenty minutes away. She'd sold her place in Utah, along with most of her sculptures, and decided to start a new life near her girls. When Mila finally sat down with Wes, a few days after her surprise visit, she'd told him the whole tear filled story, which he later relayed to Tess.
 

She'd apologized profusely for everything she'd put him and the girls through, that she was committed to staying healthy, that her life was shit without them. Tess had stopped him. "You, included, or was she talking about the girls?" He said he didn't know, which had disturbed her on many levels. After a moment of contemplation, he was quick to assure Tess that the reemergence of his ex wouldn't affect their relationship, they would simply need to readjust. She thought that readjusting was, in fact, being affected by it, but she kept it to herself.
 

Their relationship was still relatively new, and here she was having to "readjust" things to incorporate her boyfriend's ex-wife who may, or may not,
 
have a mental breakdown at any given moment.
 

She felt plenty affected.
 

"Please, Tess. Don't give up on me. I'll handle it, okay?" Then they'd made love—urgent and intense—like he could convince her of his sincerity with his thrusts. She had believed him in that moment. And true to his word, he did all he could to shield Tess from any of it. When their paths did cross, Tess noticed Wes. He watched Mila's every move, like she might become unstable before their very eyes. Mila sensed it, too. Tess was sure that had to be nerve wracking for her, and she almost felt sorry for her...almost.

 
Confused was an accurate word to describe how the girls felt for the first month. Leery at best, at her supposed permanence, as if she might disappear with the wind. Tess would never admit this to Wes, but she'd hoped Mila
would
disappear. She'd realize she wasn't cut out for motherhood, for life on medication. It would make Tess's life a lot easier, but that hadn't happened yet. In fact, she seemed to cherish every second she was allowed to spend with the girls. Yes, allowed—she was only allowed supervised visitation twice a week. After a month it was bumped to three times a week. Since it had to be supervised, this was a lot of time Wes had to spend with his ex...watching the mother of his children snuggle and play, singing songs with her fairy tale voice. That's what Kate said. "T, she sings wike Sweeping Beauty!"
 

Great, just great.
 

Wes was considering letting her have them on her own. It would take care of the boyfriend spending copious amounts of time with his ex-wife, but it hammered home the fact that Mila was becoming a fixture. Tess liked to be the mastermind of her destiny, and since she passed the thirty year mark a few years back, she felt she'd earned the right to call the shots in regards to her life. But right now, she felt as if her life was happening without her consent. She hated feeling out of control. She hated feeling confused. And she despised feeling insecure. She had to ask herself, should she be feeling those things if this was the right relationship for her? She pushed the answer down deep, not ready to deal with that quite yet. Instead she gave herself the usual pep talk.