Spiritus, a Paranormal Romance (Spiritus Series, Book #1) (17 page)

Forsaking all others…

He was touching me and he wasn’t disappearing. I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw myself into his arms. I wanted to slap at him.

“
Why did you ever come back?” I choked.

Alastor’s own eyes were shinning with unshed tears; his lips trembled as he caressed my face. "Oh my Becca, I have waited so long for this moment. I would have traded my soul to hell just to touch you again and now I am selfish enough to still want more.”

I closed my eyes. I was trembling under his fingers, but savoring the feeling of his icy touch. It was real, it was solid. I wanted to reach out to him, to touch him in some way, but I knew that he would just disappear.

I forced myself to take one faltering step back, “Alastor, I can’t keep doing this. It’s driving me crazy.”

Walking away, I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks. I glanced back when I reached the door to the school, expecting to see that he had vanished, but there he was staring back at me.

I wanted to go back to him, but instead I brushed my tears away. I opened the door and went back inside the school. Ally and Billie were there waiting with their arms crossed.

“
Someone’s been keeping a secret.” Billie declared with a smirk.

“
What do you mean?” I stammered, trying to blink away the remaining tears.

Ally playfully shoved my shoulder, “Come on, out with it. Who was that guy?”

“
What guy?”

Billie rolled her eyes and jerked her chin toward the door. “That guy you were just talking to outside.”

The world lurched sickeningly to the left as I realized what she meant.

“
You saw him?” I asked.

Ally and Billie exchanged confused glances.

“
It’s not like you two were hiding or anything.” Ally accused, “So who is he?”

My mouth fell open in disbelief. They could see him. He had been strong enough even they could see him. How was that possible? I glanced back at the trees again, but he was gone.

“
He’s an old friend.” I lied.

Billie raised an eyebrow, “He looked like more than just that. The two of you looked pretty serious.”

Just then I spotted Jonah standing not too far away. It was obvious he heard our entire conversation. He turned and walked away.

I wanted to run after him, but my feet were frozen. I tried to take a step forward, but Alastor’s secret voice echoed inside my head.

“
You swore…Forsaking all others…” He threatened.

I pushed past my friends and followed Jonah down the hall to our class. He didn’t even look up as I walked past him to my seat. I sat down and looked at his back, something about the tension in his squared shoulders made my palms sweat.

“
Jonah?”

“
I’m trying to read.” Jonah said flatly. “We’ll talk later.”

“
Are you angry?”

“
What would I have to be angry about?” He asked.

I bit my lip. It was ridiculous to think he overheard the girls talking about Alastor and was jealous, but what other explanation was there?

“
I’ll leave you alone and let you read.” I whispered.

“
Thanks.”

Jonah was silent throughout class, never turning even once to look at me. It seemed impossible that he was jealous, but an even darker thought began to surface. Did Alastor mean for Jonah to somehow find out about us? Is that why he chose that moment to show himself so clearly?

The thought wouldn’t go away. All through class I kept asking myself over and over. At the sound of the bell, I ran to the nearest bathroom.

I bent down and checked under each of the stall doors before looking up at the ceiling. I could feel him near me. I strained my eyes to look for ever the slightest disturbance in the air.

“
How did you do it?” I demanded. “Why did you do it?”

Nothing.

“
If you could make yourself
that
real, why did you wait so long?”

Invisible hands ran up my back and mussed my hair. His seductive laugh echoed against the tiled walls.

“
Is that what you’re mad about?” He teased. “That I waited so long to show you?”

“
Yes,” I said. All of a sudden, it didn’t matter why he did it, it was only important that he did become that vivid for me.

“
Why is that?”

“
Because,” I sighed. “For just that one moment, you really seemed like you were mine.”

“
I am yours.” He whispered. “Now and forever.”

C
hapter 10

Somehow I made it through the frustrating weeks with Alastor constantly chatting away in my head. I wasn’t really aware of time passing. I awoke one morning to the autumn colored leaves out my window and realized that it was the first Monday in October.

Ally began my day off by reminding me about the fall dance in just a few weeks.

“
Has anyone asked you yet?” She asked as soon as I took my seat in English.

“
Hardly.” I said with a sarcastic laugh.

“
Are you sure?” She asked with a knowing smirk. “What about your mystery man?”

“
Don’t be ridiculous.” I snapped as Alastor laughed in the secret voice only I could hear.

Ally shrugged, “Whatever, keep him a secret, but you two looked pretty hot and heavy.”

“
Trust me, we’re not.”

“
Then who is he?”

“
I don’t want to talk about it.” I snapped.

She said nothing else and class began. I didn’t have time to worry about what she must be thinking or if I was going to be shunned for my secrecy. Mrs. Temple was handing out a pop quiz on the John Steinbeck novel I had yet to open. Perfect, one more failed test to add to the collection that started when Alastor showed up.

This is all your fault, you know.

Alastor only laughed and hovered above my head. I wished that I could somehow just reach up and jab him with my pencil.

I was grateful when the bell rang and I could turn in my nearly blank test. Breathing a sigh of relief, I stepped out into the hall and let the crowd swallow me up while I jogged to catch up with Ally.

Alastor was unusually quiet as I followed Ally to the cafeteria. I sensed the tension in him as he swirled around me even though he was silent. I was keenly aware of him and his mood, but waited for him to tell me what was bothering him.

“
Will you be going to the dance?” He finally whispered inside my head.

I don’t know.

“
I wish that I could be your escort.” He confessed, brushing my neck with his ghostly hand.

There was a sad, resigned note to his voice that tugged at my heart.

I wish you could too.

Alastor became more agitated as he gathered around me, stirring the air to the point even Billie and Ally felt the breeze. I took my seat at the table, pretending I noticed nothing. They looked from side to side to try to locate where the errant breeze was stemming.

Alastor, what is wrong with you?

“
I do believe that someone else is planning to ask you.” He hissed as he settled around me.

Glancing around the cafeteria, my eyes settled on Jonah who had just walked in and stood there surrounded by friends. He hadn’t spoken to me for weeks, not since the day Alastor appeared under the birch trees.

Him?

The rebellious draft kicked up again as Alastor expressed his frustration. People looked around again as papers blew about. A few teachers even left their table in the corner and walked over to the windows, checking to make sure that each one was shut and latched.

I hesitated, despising the wave of contrition that passed through me. Why was it bad to want the most normal things, like to go to a dance? Why did I have to be so torn?

“
What will you say to him?” Alastor demanded.

I didn’t answer him. I sipped my soda and half-heartedly listened to them talk about the dance. Every word they uttered wore me down a little more and made me question everything.

Was it wrong for me to want the same things as other girls? I made no vow to Alastor in this life. Why was I denying myself? Because, I reasoned with myself, deep down I knew that it was only Alastor I wanted. It would always be Alastor.

“
That boy does not honor you like I do.” Alastor reminded me as I left the cafeteria to go to History.

How would you know?

Alastor lowered his voice to a faint whisper inside the walls of my mind.

“
It will not end well.” He said.

Go away Alastor.

“
Very well.”

No one was in the classroom when I took my seat. I opened my textbook and told myself I was reviewing the chapter we were covering, but I was actually watching the door with anticipation.

When Jonah did enter the room, he met my eyes before I could look away and fake interest in my book. I expected him to look away and ignore me as usual, but instead he stared at me with a strange mix of frustration and amusement written on his face.

I forced myself to look away. I dropped my eyes to my books even though I was no longer interested in the words.

Just thinking about Jonah sent a rush of emotion through me. I was giddy, but at the same time hesitant, almost as if I felt guilty or something close to it.

What was I doing? He hadn’t spoken to me in weeks. What made me think today would be different?

Other students arrived and Mr. Abramson called the class to order. I tried to pretend I was not studying Jonah’s every move and hoped I was better at convincing everyone else than I was myself. I was ready to dart out the door as soon as the bell rang.

“
Becca?” Jonah called to me before I could escape.

I looked up at him reluctantly. He was too perfect, so much so it was almost a cliché and I still didn’t know how to sort out the toxic soup of emotions I felt near him.

“
What is it Jonah?” I asked, keeping my voice light as possible.

“
Well,” Jonah said, looking down at his feet. “I guess you’ve heard about the dance coming up.”

My heart did a strange stop-start-pound in my ears sort of thing. I tried to breath normally, but my knees were already starting to shake.

“
Billie and Ally were talking about it at lunch.” I said, shocked at how normal my voice sounded. “Why?”

“
Well,” he faltered, clearly not as confident as I had believed. “I was wondering if you were going?”

“
I don’t know. Nobody has asked me.”

“
Oh,” he said and looked back down at his feet. “I thought you might already have a date.”

I bit my lip, hating the rush of shame that ran over me. I didn’t want to think about Alastor, but everyone kept bringing up the man from under the tree that day.

“
No.” I assured him. “No one has asked me.”

Jonah smiled and stood taller, running his fingers through his hair like the male model that he should have been. “Well, would you like to go with me?”

So this is what it was like to be normal? This sensation of giddy embarrassment?

“
Yes.” I whispered before he changed his mind or I changed mine. “I’d love to.”

“
Great,” he said with a slight nod. “We’ll work all the details out later.”

Before I could say anything else, he turned and left the room. I stared after him, still trying to believe what just happened.