Starring Me (26 page)
“Yeah, it is. And one of the things Ashley said she’s looking for is ‘chemistry.’”
“And you and Anna Grace are like gasoline and a lighted match.”
“You’ve got that right.”
“What about Jillian?”
Kara took another sip of water. “She doesn’t cause problems. But she doesn’t really give much to work with either.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know.” Kara stretched her long arms. “She just doesn’t seem to try all that much. I don’t get her.”
“I’m sure you’ll be great.”
“I hope so.” Kara looked at her phone. “I’ve got to get in there. I’m so glad you came. Can you stay after?”
“Of course, if the star can make time for a little nobody like me.” Addy laughed.
“I don’t have time for just
any
nobody, but for you . . . always!” Kara took a quick bow before running back to the set for her performance.
Contrary to Anna Grace’s opinion, Kara did take time to get into character. This time, to Kara’s relief, she got the fun part. She enjoyed adding some of her own personality and spunk to the part she was playing—Ashley.
Ironic, since the Ashley I’m playing is so different from Ashley the casting director
. Kara thought through her part again and walked onto the set in character, going past the “misplaced” couch to the door she’d enter from.
Anna Grace, ignoring Kara’s “hello,” got into place and screamed for Jillian. They froze in place as the doors opened and a hundred girls and their parents filed in. The network tweeted that they were doing “market research” on a possible new show. A total lie, but they did what they thought was necessary. The executives wanted the girls to perform in front of an audience, but they didn’t want to give away the premise behind the new show.
The stage manager walked on to tell the audience to please respond—laughing and clapping were acceptable, even encouraged. Flash photography was strictly forbidden, as was videotaping of any sort. After a final request that everyone turn their cell phones off, the stage manager exited and the lights came on. The red flashing light on the camera in front of Anna Grace meant that it was time to begin the performance.
Intervention
(A living room: couch, chair, and coffee table. Shelby and Olivia are sitting.)
SHELBY
: We’ve got to do something.
OLIVIA
: I know.
SHELBY
: This is serious.
OLIVIA
: I know it’s serious. But we have to be careful.
SHELBY
: You’re right. This is a delicate situation.
OLIVIA
: And it’s been going on for so long.
SHELBY
: I kept thinking it was just a phase, you know? Like when she was ten and the only color she would wear was purple.
OLIVIA
: Or when she was fourteen and she forced us to call her Mademoiselle.
SHELBY
: But this is so much . . . different.
OLIVIA
: I know!
SHELBY
: What do we do?
OLIVIA
: We’ve been best friends since third grade. It’s our job to confront her.
SHELBY
: Like an intervention?
OLIVIA
: Exactly.
SHELBY
: But what if she doesn’t listen? What if she won’t speak to us anymore?
OLIVIA
: Shelby, this Ashley isn’t our Ashley. We’re trying to get
our
Ashley back. This is the only way.
SHELBY
: You’re sure?
OLIVIA
: No, I’m not sure. But can you think of anything else?
SHELBY
: No. How do we do it?
OLIVIA
: We sit her down and tell her that she isn’t living in reality.
SHELBY
: But we’ve tried that.
OLIVIA
: This time will be different. We’ll write her letters in advance and we’ll read them to her.
SHELBY
: But what if she doesn’t believe us? She thinks she really is—
OLIVIA
: No! Don’t say it. (Getting upset) She can’t keep living like this. I can’t handle it. She has to listen to us.
SHELBY
: All right, Olivia. Calm down. Look, let’s write our letters and wait. She’ll be coming over in a little while.
(A voice-over—with a French accent—“Thirty minutes later.”)
SHELBY
: (Looking out the window) You ready?
OLIVIA
: I guess. I’m nervous.
SHELBY
: Deep breaths. Here she comes!
(Ashley enters wearing goggles and flippers and looking through binoculars.)
ASHLEY
: Oh, please don’t hide. Come out. I’m your friend. I’m here to help you.
OLIVIA
: (To Shelby) Oh no, it’s the “Mermaid” episode.
SHELBY
: The one where she—
ASHLEY
: (Singing very loudly and off-key)
OoOoOoOo-AaAaAaAaA. Mermaids hear my song—come out and sing along. OoOoOoOo-AaAaAaAaA
OLIVIA AND SHELBY
: Stop!
ASHLEY
: What? I’m calling the mermaids. I have been swimming all day, looking for them.
OLIVIA
: Past the giant octopus’s cave.
SHELBY
: Beyond the underwater volcano, ready to erupt.
ASHLEY
: Yes, yes! How did you know?
OLIVIA
: Ashley, sit down.
ASHLEY
: Ashley? Who is Ashley? My name is Laguna.
SHELBY
: Please, sit. We need to talk to you.
ASHLEY
: I can only sit for a minute. The mermaids must be found. I have to deliver them back to their home. Their poor father is so worried about them. There’s a party tonight and—
SHELBY
: And if they don’t arrive on time, the party can’t start.
ASHLEY
: Yes, yes, that’s right! Very good!
OLIVIA
: Thanks!
SHELBY
: Olivia. Focus!
OLIVIA
: Right, sorry. Okay, Ash—Laguna. Shelby and I have something to say to you.
ASHLEY
: Listening is very important, so my ears are all yours.
OLIVIA
: Right. Thanks. Okay. Um, how about you go first, Shelby?
SHELBY
: Me?
OLIVIA
: Yes.
ASHLEY
: That’s very kind. It’s good to be kind.
SHELBY
: (Takes out her paper) Fine. Me first. “Dear Ashley . . .”
ASHLEY
: Oh dear. You weren’t listening, were you? My name is Laguna, remember?
SHELBY
: No! Your name is not Laguna. (She crumples her paper)
Laguna the Spy
is a television show. For four-year-olds.
ASHLEY
: Don’t be silly. TV isn’t good for your brain. You need to use your imagination. I believe in brainpower! That’s how I know the mermaids are here. I used my brain.
SHELBY
: Look around. This isn’t the ocean. It’s my living room. You’re breathing air, not water. And there are no mermaids.
ASHLEY
: I know this isn’t the ocean.
OLIVIA
: Good!
ASHLEY
: The mermaids came here to hide. They can grow legs when they’re on land. And they can breathe air. Just like us! But they’ve had enough time here. (Raising her voice) Their party is tonight, and they can’t be late. So come out, mermaids. Come out!
SHELBY
: This isn’t working.
OLIVIA
: We can’t give up.
ASHLEY
: Of course not. Never give up trying. You can do anything you set your mind to. Just like me. I’ll find those mermaids, just like I promised. I made it past the giant octopus’s cave and beyond the underwater volcano, ready to erupt. I’ll find those mermaids and get them home. I won’t give up!
OLIVIA
: (Taking Ashley’s binoculars) You are not Laguna. Your name is Ashley Chambers.
ASHLEY
: My special binoculars! You can’t take those. I need them.
OLIVIA
: No, you don’t.
ASHLEY
: I know who you are. You are working with that sneaky old Grabber Crab. Well, I know what to do with you.
SHELBY
: Oh no.
ASHLEY
: (Sings)
Grabber, Grabber, Crab. You try to steal and nab. But that’s not right and that’s not fair. Now off you go to the time-out chair!
SHELBY
: (To Olivia) Say it.
OLIVIA
: No way!
SHELBY
: Say it, or she’s going to sing it again.
OLIVIA
: Aw, guppies.
(Olivia walks to the time-out chair.)
ASHLEY
: That’s right. Off you go, you Grabber. And give me those binoculars. How am I ever going to find those mermaids without my special binoculars?
SHELBY
: Hey, Laguna. I have an idea where the mermaids might be.
OLIVIA
: (From the time-out chair) What are you doing?
SHELBY
: (Winks at Olivia) I think they might be hiding in the television.
ASHLEY
: The television? Oh dear.
SHELBY
: (Picks up the remote) I know. Let me see.
ASHLEY
: (Leans in and watches. The
Laguna the Spy
theme music plays) What’s this?
SHELBY
: This is a television show.
OLIVIA
: (Walking over) The
Laguna the Spy
show.
ASHLEY
: But I’m Laguna the Spy.
SHELBY
: No, you’re not. You’re Ashley Chambers. You’re sixteen years old.
ASHLEY
: No!
OLIVIA
: You spent a weekend babysitting twin girls. When you came back, you were Laguna. We think it was an overload of TV.
ASHLEY
: Too much TV is bad.
SHELBY
: Too much
Laguna the Spy
is very bad.
ASHLEY
: But that can’t be. I’ve been swimming all day. Looking for the mermaids.
SHELBY
: (Presses the remote) Listen . . .
TV
: “We have to go past the giant octopus’s cave, beyond the underwater volcano, ready to erupt, then we’ll find the mermaids!”
ASHLEY
: (Coming to her senses) Wait. Wait. I—I’m not Laguna.
OLIVIA
: No, you’re not.
ASHLEY
: I’m Ashley Chambers.
OLIVIA
: Yes!
ASHLEY
: What’s going on?
SHELBY
: Oh, Ashley. You watched too much
Laguna the Spy
. For the past few days, you’ve been walking around saying you’re her.
ASHLEY
: (Removes the goggles and flippers) I’m so embarrassed. It was those twins, wasn’t it?
OLIVIA
: Yep.
ASHLEY
: Thanks for saving me!
SHELBY
: That’s what best friends are for.
ASHLEY
: But let’s make a deal, all right?
OLIVIA
: What’s that?
ASHLEY
: I’m taking my mom’s advice and getting a job at the mall. Babysitting is definitely hazardous to my health!
Kara stepped to the front of the stage at the end of the performance. The crowd was on its feet, clapping and cheering.
Oh yes
. Kara took it all in.
This is exactly where I belong
.
Y
ou were great!” Addy rushed backstage after the show finished.
“What about the other groups?” Kara led Addy to a corner.
“What other groups?” Addy smiled. “Seriously, you were so funny! Everyone was laughing so hard at you. I had tears in my eyes.”
“Thanks, Addy.” Kara hugged her friend. “It was so much fun. You have no idea.”
“I could tell. Was there a big fight over who’d get to play the Laguna part?”
“Oh no.” Kara’s eyes widened. “From the beginning, we’ve been given a script with our parts highlighted. I don’t know who picks the roles, but we do not get to question which ones they are. We memorize the part we’re given. A couple of the girls have complained about that, but Ashley nips it right away.”
Kara watched as Anna Grace grabbed Ashley for a one-on-one conversation. “I wonder what that’s about?”
Addy looked over. “That’s the casting director, right? ”
“Yes.” Kara tried to interpret Ashley’s body language. “She’s pretty no-nonsense. She just tells us what to do and that’s it.”
“So?”
“So she’s having a conversation with Anna Grace.” Kara watched as Anna Grace pulled out her cell phone and showed it to Ashley. “She doesn’t have conversations with us.”
Addy grabbed Kara’s face with both her hands. “Stop spying. You’re being paranoid.”
“I’m just a couple auditions away from the decision.” Kara took a deep breath. “How can I not be paranoid? ”