Statistic (13 page)

“Yeah. Someone kicked my door in and trashed my condo last night. I am done here. I don’t feel safe, so I am going to start looking for a new home this week. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if I was home, let alone if Liam was here. I just can’t put us in that position anymore.”

“So, let me get this straight. Someone kicked your door in yesterday and trashed the house. What did they steal? Wait. You weren’t home? Where were you?” The barrage of questions begins. I stop what I am doing and turn to Callie to lay it all out on the line for her.

“So, remember Jackson from the other night? I went out on his boat with him yesterday. I got a call from Paul after the alarm company couldn’t get ahold of me. Someone kicked in the door, smashed the flowers Wesley had sent me and ransacked my room. Oh, and left a creepy note. So yeah, I am getting the F out of this condo.” She looks at me like a deer in headlights. Her eyes dart around the condo, looking for evidence of the break in even though there is none left.

“Well, I guess I don’t blame you for that. With it just being you and Liam here, I would be worried too. What did the note say?”

“Something about acting like a whore. I almost wonder if it is Colin trying to get back at me. But, I don’t think he would stoop this low. Plus, he has Liam this weekend so when would he have had time to come over here and bust up the joint? How would he have even known I wasn’t going to be home? The whole thing just reeks of fucked up.” I sigh and take a sip of the tall glass of water I set out on the counter when I started my packing project. It is warm and all the ice cubes are melted, but still somewhat refreshing after I’ve been working so long.

“I don’t know, A. But, I don’t blame you about moving. This whole online dating thing is starting to sound like a bad idea.” Callie admits while pulling a pitcher of sweet tea from the fridge, and pouring it. “I know we all encouraged you at first, but this kind of changed my opinion on it. Do you think it was one of the guys you met?”

I know I shouldn’t be defensive of the men I have actually dated. While some of them were total losers, they weren’t bad men. I know I may not have the world’s best judgment when it comes to men, but seriously, I think I could pick a psychopath out of a crowd. But, I guess there is always that chance of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“Honestly, Callie, I wouldn’t peg any of the men I have dated for something like this. They just came off as innocent people. Maybe I am just naive.” I shrug my shoulders and go back to packing up the DVD’s I have scattered all across the living room floor. My cell phone starts ringing across the room and Callie takes it upon herself to answer it.

“Aurora Alexander’s phone,” she says to the caller, quickly followed by “oh, one minute please.” she covers the mouthpiece and walks in my direction. “Chris McKenzie?” Callie says as she hands the phone over. My excitement spikes knowing that Jackson has obviously called about that rental before I had the opportunity to drop everything and do it.

“Miss Alexander, it is great to finally have some interest in our rental. It has been empty for almost six months and we were beginning to think no one would ever want to move in!” The man on the other end exclaims, and the excitement in his voice makes my stomach flip flop. “Jackson gave me a call and updated me on the situation and we would love to have you move in. We really just are looking for someone to cover the cost of the mortgage now, which is $690 a month. How about we call it even at $700?”

My heart drops into my stomach because I pay $800 a month right now in our tiny little condo. There, Liam and I will have an entire house. I will be able to take all of my extra stuff out of storage and put it in the garage cutting another monthly bill. It is almost too good to be true.

“Wow, well… I will take it! When is it available?” Then the dread hits. Security deposits, first and last month’s rent for a deposit. Adding it all up, the money grows, and the thoughts of my lacking savings account flash in my mind over and over again.

“We can meet up tomorrow for you to sign the lease and grab the keys. Whenever you want to start moving in, you can.” Chris says with almost a relieved tone. I can’t imagine having to pay for months on end for a home you aren’t even living in. I know it would suck big time. Before the call disconnects, I need to pry more about the security.

“Mr. McKenzie? What about the security deposit?” I question, holding my breath waiting for a reply.

“Don’t worry about that, Jackson has that covered.” For someone I’ve just met, this really doesn’t sit right with me, but I am not going to take it up with my future landlord, that is for damn sure. “He is going to cut us a deal on the landscaping.” Chris quickly adds. I am relieved a bit, but still wondering why he would do something like this. We just met.

“Thanks, so much. What time would you like to meet tomorrow?” I ask.

“How about noon at the house? I can give you the grand tour and you can make sure it is something that is going to fit you.”

“I will see you then.”

My excitement is through the roof.

Liam and I got the house. I just hope he is as excited as I am about moving.

“What do you mean you are moving?” Colin asks across the dinner table. Liam sits next to his dad completely oblivious to the conversation we are having. Between his iPad and his favorite dinner he is in a world of bliss.

I don’t want to argue with Colin about this, but I did forget about the stipulations in our custody agreement about big changes. He didn’t though and I am sure he was going to try and hold this against me. Just like he holds everything against me, always has.

“Colin, I just don’t feel safe here after what happened this weekend. I didn’t think you would object to me moving into an actual house. It is perfect for Liam, he will have a yard!” My voice slowly gets louder and I realize for once I am finally standing up to him without even thinking about it.

“Aurora, how are you going to be able to afford this. I don’t need you taking me back to court for more child support because you make irresponsible choices.” I could dive across the table and stab him in his dark brown eyes with a fork. And for a moment, I am lost in the actual images of doing it. He makes me feel nothing short of homicidal. Fucker.

“First off, Colin, my finances aren’t any of your business. You pay fucking pennies in child support compared to some people I know, so don’t even go there. Second, if I have to take you back to court just to be able to move into a more suitable and safe home for Liam, you bet your ass there is going to be a price tag on it because what I can’t afford is a lawyer bill for something so idiotic.” I point my fork in his direction, “stop being a dick and just realize as an adult this is the best for Liam and me.” Not like he gives a rat’s ass about what is best for me. Hell, I even question if he cares about Liam sometimes since he is so damn selfish.

“Daddy, when do I get to see Miss Jillian again?” Liam interrupts the conversation, and now my blood begins to boil as I question what exactly their visits have consisted of since I started to allow him more time with Colin. Mainly because he expressed more interest in spending time with his son, but now I suspect ulterior motives.

“Yeah, who is Miss Jillian, Colin?” I ask, and he shoves a bite of food in his mouth hoping to avoid the conversation. How quickly the tables can turn.

“She kisses Daddy how you used to, Mommy.” Bingo, child. If there is something Liam really is good for is his unfiltered adolescent mouth.

“Oh really? Does Miss Jillian sleep in Daddy’s bed?” Colin’s eyes go wide and he tries to speak with a mouthful of food.

“Yes, she lives in Daddy’s house all the time now.” Liam happily goes about his iPad business taking joy in beating the next level of Angry birds.

“Very interesting, Colin. It seems like there are a number of reasons for us to go back to court. Doesn’t seem like you are adhering to your side of the custody order.” I smile because I am pretty sure I just won this whole argument.

“Colin, I don’t want to fight with you over all of this. I just want to be able to co-parent Liam without a bunch of court and bullshit. If you want to grow up and open up our lines of communication, awesome. If not, I will do what is right for Liam and take you back to court.” He continues to sit in silence, obviously trying to pick his next move.

“Mommy, I really like Miss Jillian. She is the nicest out of Daddy’s girlfriends. I didn’t like the other ones, but Miss Jillian takes me for ice cream and cooks me yummy food like you do.” Liam adds, as he flings another bird.

“Liam why don’t you bring your game up to your room and get ready for bed?” I try and buy myself a few extra minutes to finish this conversation. I hate to even bring this kind of stuff up with Liam around, but Colin and I really don’t spend any time together that doesn’t involve our boy. In fact, this dinner has been the longest amount of time we have spent in the same room since we divorced.

“Aurora, look. I don’t want to creep around. I don’t want to fight or argue, okay? We both want what is best for Liam. We married when we were young and we didn’t know what we wanted. There is nothing wrong with us moving on with our lives.” I remember him starting an argument with me just a while back when I started dating and it just pisses me off that he has the audacity to say this shit.

“Colin, what the hell? When that asshole from work found my Fish in the Sea profile you pitched a fit!”

“A, relax. I was just taken off guard. I didn’t expect you being ready to move on. You took everything so hard when we divorced.” He admits, as he starts to push the remainder of his dinner around on his plate.

“Colin, YOU CHEATED ON ME! I wasn’t ready for divorce. I thought we would be together forever, but it all fucking fell apart! Pardon my damn language, but this whole conversation is just…” I can’t even find words.

“Aurora, this conversation is due. We never had it. We never communicated. We ignored all of this. We just went our own ways and got on with life however we could. I know I was wrong, but we were so young. We never were with anyone but each other. You can’t honestly say you are shocked by everything that happened.”

Shocked? No. I just never wanted to think it would come to this. I guess no one who gets married right after high school wants to admit this is the most likely outcome.

“Colin, whatever. Seriously, I don’t care about all of that anymore. I just want to make sure I am doing what is best for Liam and I expect you to do the same. I don’t want a line of women being paraded around him because he is only going to get confused. It is going to hurt him when this Jillian doesn’t stick around like the ones before her. He clearly likes her.” I think of the heartbreak my son will experience because I know what kind of a rotating door Colin has.

“Aurora, she isn’t leaving. She’s pregnant.” Colin quietly admits.

“FUCK! Colin. You have to leave. Just… Just go say goodnight to Liam and get out.” I take a deep breathe and try and process the information my ex-husband just dumped in my lap.

“And by the damn way, Colin. I am moving and there isn’t shit you can say or do about it. Especially now!” I stomp down the hallway and close myself in the downstairs closet of a bathroom. I don’t want to be shaken by all of this, but after the past couple days I have had, the tears begin.

My ex-husband has happily moved on my son loves the woman in his life and I am sure it is only a matter of time before he is smart enough to like her more than me. My heart shatters into as many pieces as it did the day I found out Colin was cheating on me. I know this shouldn’t bother me. I thought I was ready to move on with my life, but this is all just too much. I need a time out from real life. I need a pause button on the roller coaster my life has become in the last week.

I stare at myself in the mirror as the tears roll down my face, everything in the wake becoming red and puffy. Once again this man has the ability to make my world completely crumble, even though I know I shouldn’t even allow him to make a dent in the wall I have put up against my feelings. I wish I could really just turn all my emotions off. It would make my life so much easier.

A light knock sounds on the door and interrupts me. My sniffles sound through the tight bathroom and I ask who is there.

“I know you don’t want to see or talk to me, Aurora, and I am sorry this all came out this way. I am sorry for all the hurt I have caused you over the years. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me. Liam is tucked in bed. Go give him the hug and kiss he is asking for and we will talk more this week. I want to keep our communications open and no matter what you think I don’t want to hurt you anymore, A.”

I can hear his footsteps echo through the first floor of the house until the front door opens and closes. I open the door and scuffle out of the bathroom to lock the front door then climb the stairs to tuck my little boy in. I can only hope that Colin is finally being honest. Maybe it isn’t too much to think he is finally becoming an adult.

“Mommy, I missed you sooooooooooo much!” Liam says when I round the corner into his room. I sit down on the edge of the bed and run my hand through his shaggy dark brown locks.