Statistic (12 page)

“My ex-husband cheated on me with my babysitter. Repeatedly. I felt like I was to blame because I wasn’t putting out when I was pregnant. He also told me it was my fault, but the more I thought about it over time, the more I knew it wasn’t anything I did wrong. I was laid up on bed rest trying to keep my son healthy and safe and all he was worried about was getting his dick wet. So, I guess I have a fucked up line of judgment when it comes to anything that has to do with sex. If any of that makes sense.”

“I get that, Aurora. But you don’t owe me any of these explanations. We just started dating. Heck, I’ve never had a woman in my bed this quick. But, everything with you is different. It just all feels right and I have this sense of protection when it comes to you. I need to keep you safe and if something happened to you, I don’t know what I would do with myself.” He lets out a sigh, and runs his fingers through his messy hair.

“I know this is all new and we don’t know jack shit about each other, but I want to know everything about you, Aurora. I want to know your son and be a man worthy of your admiration. I’m not around for a quick fuck like that other guy. You could roll over and go to sleep right now and I would be content only having you in this bed next to me. And I am okay with that.” The corner of his lip pulls up into a smile and I can’t help but smile back. He is the kind of man I truly need in my life. Wesley may be sexy as sin, but there is one thing he doesn’t have and that is respect for me. If he did… the bathroom incident would have never happened.

It is part of the dating process. It is like learning how to ride a bicycle. You fall off and you get back up and start all over again. It didn’t take me long to figure out where I want to be. But next to Jackson, in his bed is quickly becoming one of my favorite places.

“Tell me about you, Jackson.” I ask, and quietly wait for him to share his life story, just as I purged earlier.

“I don’t know where to even start.” He inches closer to me and takes my hand. “Well, you already know I am single, never married and I am thirty so I guess none of those things answer your question. Ha.” I love it when he smiles. Because you can see the happiness on every inch of his face. From his perfect teeth to the little creases at the corners of his bright blue eyes. The same eyes that I would shed every inch of clothing for.

“I was born and raised in Jackson, Mississippi. I was in the Marines for five years, and when I got out, I decided to settle here. A couple of my buddies landed jobs with the local police department. We all roomed together for a while and then got our own places. I think I’m the last one left who isn’t married or has kids. I just haven’t found the one yet.” As he says
the one
he squeezes my hand in a gentle showing of affection. My heart skips a beat at the thought of being that
one.
It is soon but I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone. Or, maybe it is just the booze putting me at ease.

“I started my own business and it took off somehow, which is why I can afford this beautiful house. I like all things outdoors, but I love being on the water the most. It was really nice having you on the boat with me today, even if the day ended up getting all fucked up.” He pauses and traces circles on my hand in between his thoughts. “I’m one of four boys. My poor mother is a saint for dealing with all of us. I swear one day one of us is going to give her a heart attack. Probably my youngest brother who isn’t really on the straight and narrow. My father was killed in the line of duty in 1998. He pulled over a car that was speeding on the interstate, apparently the guy driving was on the run and he shot and killed my dad. I don’t think my mother was really ever the same after that.”

He lets out a deep breath, and links his fingers between mine, tighter.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Jackson. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.” I instantly think of Liam, and how he would feel if something happened to Colin. He would be absolutely devastated, even if he is only four.

“It was hard. My oldest brother Jeff, was in boot camp, Jason was a junior in high school, and I was just starting my freshman year. Jeremy was only in seventh grade and middle school is hard enough on a kid, but adding the tragic events, my poor mother had her hands full. Jeremy still doesn’t have his shit together, but he is trying and I guess that is more than any of us can really ask for.” He shrugs his shoulders and stares at me.

“I was engaged once. When I was in the Marines. I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. She was one of those girls that hung around the military bases hoping to find a husband, but I was just too blind to see it. I got called up to deploy and asked her to marry me before I left. She said yes and in a day’s time she was insisting we run off to the courthouse and marry before I left. I wasn’t in a rush and I knew Momma would have been heartbroken if I got married without her and my brothers being there.” I could see the heartbreak in his eyes as he continued to pour out the story of his broken engagement.

“I should have known better. The guys tried to warn me that she was one of
those
girls. She emailed me a Dear John letter when I was in Iraq and when I got back stateside, the ring I had given her was inside my apartment and she was married to someone else. Ain’t love grand?” He laughs. “But that was a long time ago. God, ten years ago already. Even though it seems like yesterday. I never really let anyone in that close after.”

“I can’t imagine how shitty that must have been.” I shake my head thinking about the actions of people like that. Only thinking of themselves all the time. A lot like Colin. Come to think of it, she sounds like she would have been an awesome match for my ex-husband.

“I married my high school sweetheart,” I admit before I realize I am telling the story. “We met my freshman year and he was my one and only. I never realized how much of a player he was because I was too blinded into thinking he was damn near perfect. Right after high school we got married and not long after, Liam came. I never had an opportunity to find myself, or even go out drinking like most young twenty something girls, because I was home being a mom. He continued to do whatever he pleased and I got stuck being at home. I didn’t mind though because Liam was my world. Still is.” I smile thinking about my little boy.

“I’d love to meet him sometime.” Jackson says, and I smile even bigger thinking about the two of them together. I know Jackson would be just great with him. “I have a whole bunch of nieces and nephews My older two brothers have four kids a piece already.”

“In time. I don’t really introduce people to Liam very quickly, just because I don’t want him to get attached to a man who might let him down. Nothing against you.” I can’t imagine giving the boy any more disappointment in life if I could at least help it.

“That is what makes you a good mom, Aurora.” his hand lets go of mine and brushes a loose strand of hair away from my face.

“I try,” I admit while his hand cups my chin and his eyes just focus on me. I drag mine up his body, locking with his gorgeous blue eyes. I could stare into them all day long.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, inching slightly closer, but still keeping a safe distance away from our bodies coming in contact.

“Yes,” is all I can whisper before his lips meet mine. But this time, there is more to our kiss. It isn’t just lust and attraction which every touch up until this has been. This has something more, something that wasn’t there when we went on our first date, or as we lounged in the cold water of the Atlantic. As his lips slowly part from mine, he whispers in my ear.

“Goodnight, Aurora.” before he rolls over, and turns out the light.

The following morning Jackson and I moved flawlessly around the kitchen together making a small breakfast buffet. The conversation flowed like we have known each other most of our lives, and I found myself almost sad when it was time to get in his car and drive across town, back to the apartment I knew I could no longer stay in.

“You don’t feel safe there, huh?” Jackson said as we walked out of the front door of his home. My body language really must have given away the impending dread.

“Yeah, I don’t know. I just… I don’t feel safe, especially with Liam. What if something happens when he is home with me? Or there with my babysitter? My sense of security with that condo is just gone.” I wouldn’t tell Jackson or anyone else this but one of the first things I plan on doing today is calling Callie up, having her come over and help me begin to pack. I may not have anyplace else to go, but I am going to start looking for a new home sooner rather than later.

As we get in the car and slowly drive out of the kid filled neighborhood, we turn onto a small side street that leads in the direction of the subdivision exit to the main road running through Sharonville and I see it: A small colonial style home with a big FOR RENT sign posted in the front yard. I laugh and mumble “you have got to be kidding me” under my breathe.

“Did you say something?” Jackson asks, turning his attention momentarily from the road, to me.

“Can you slow up for a second. I want to copy that phone number down.” I point in the direction of the house, and he pulls up in front of the house.

“Didn’t realize the old McKenzie house was for rent. I guess they didn’t have any luck selling it.” he says as I rummage through my purse for something to scribble on.

“Do you know the owners?” I ask, hoping he does. A house like this won’t be for rent for long. I only hope that the rent isn’t insanely high, which is a pretty good possibility. But as I look around the neighborhood and spy all the children safely playing outside without a care in the world, I know this would be far better for Liam than the stuffy condo complex filled with seasonal snow bird seniors and no kids at all.

“I do. They are landscaping clients of mine.” he winks at me. “I could give them a call if you want.” I am unsure if it is a good idea or not. I mean, what happens if things don’t work out and he actually helps me get this house. Would this cause bad blood between us or even with my future landlords? Ugh!

The more I think about it, the more I look around and see the smiling faces of all the kids. Jackson or not, this house is exactly what Liam needs. It isn’t about me, it is about my son being the happiest little boy he can. What he deserves. Because if Colin and I were still together, this is the kind of house he would still be able to live in all the time instead of bouncing from condo to condo for visitations.

“Yes, that would be great. Just give them my name and number.”

I type out a text to Callie and hope she has the time to come and see me today.

Be at my house at 2? Okay?

Then I type out a message to Colin. We need to talk about everything that happened this weekend. I know he may try and use this against me, but I am trying to take the damn high road when it comes to co-parenting with him. Even if I hate every second of it.

Bring Liam home early tonight. I have to talk to you about something that happened this weekend. I’ll make something for us all to eat. K?

I check through all my work emails and know that I am going to have a night full of work once Liam is in bed. But, whatever. The more I hustle, the more comfortable we will be able to live. My phone buzzes and I look down to see Colin’s name.

As long as you make your fried chicken.

I laugh and remember back to a time when we weren’t always at each other’s throat. When I enjoyed cooking him his favorite meals, fried chicken included.

As long as you aren’t a dick. ;)

Looks like I will have to hit up the grocery store to keep the peace.

Instead of replying like a normal person, Callie shows up a few minutes after two. Boxes are strewn all over the condo, and I am sitting in the middle of the living room floor on my laptop clicking through my Spotify playlist for something to groove to.

“What the hell is going on?” Callie asks while she walks into my tornado of a house.

“Moving.” I say with a clipped tone.

“Why?” she asks with a confused look on her face.

“Notice the new front door?” I ask.

“Yeah. What’s with that?” her confusion growing.