Stereo (43 page)

“Janelle what is this?  Why are you giving me the third degree?”

Janelle shifted.  “I just want you to be happy Adam.”

“I am happy,” Adam insisted.  “I’m famous.  I’m good looking.  I’m rolling in money.”

Janelle had to roll her eyes as he zoomed down his list of qualities.

“I’m about to go perform for twenty thousand people who adore me.  I’m happy.”

Janelle squinted an eye.  “Are you?”

“Yes,” Adam yelled.

“Okay!”  She held her hands up.  “I’m just saying… I’ve let my pride get in the way of my life more times than I can count Adam.  Now I don’t know what went down between the two of you but if there’s even a chance of you forgiving her for whatever the hell she’s done you
should
. Don’t saddle yourself with a weight that doesn’t have to be on your shoulders.”

Adam hated this conversation.

“Anyway.”  Janelle sighed. “Like I was saying, she didn’t go into specifics about why she left the business.  She just said she despised modeling and didn’t want to do it anymore.”

Adam didn’t say it out loud, but he was relieved.

--

Later that night as Adam took the stage for the final song of the show, he really did feel like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.  It was the first performance of the tour and, as the strings of ‘Stereo’ wafted through the speakers and into the screaming crowd, he wasn’t sure how he was going to make it through to the end.

It hadn’t occurred to him until he was halfway through the show that every new song he’d written somehow mapped back to her.  A lyric, a tone and, in this case, the entire song—all lead back to Shaun.  It had been like slow torture, being reminded of her, when all he wanted to do was forget.  Being reminded of her even as he
sang
, the one thing he’d always felt safe doing, was sobering.

The crowd naturally loved ‘Stereo’, they always had.  It was the biggest single on the album, but Adam could barely get through it.  He wrestled through the lyrics from behind his mic stand, and the thousands of fans before him sang along to the words they knew so well.

Suddenly Adam had to stop singing, shocked when tears came to his eyes and stole his voice completely. Thankfully, his audience swooped in and picked up his slack, finishing the string for him.

Grateful for the fan support, Adam took a deep breath and went back to the microphone, able to make it through the next few lines before the bridge blew him clear back, again. His stomach turned as he thought of Shaun’s face on the night he’d left her.  He’d taken her virginity and walked away like it was nothing.  He closed his eyes and willed the image of her pained face away, but she was right there behind his eyelids, grabbing him, shredding him.  He fought to continue, but his voice cracked. He leaned away from the microphone completely, turning his head away from the crowd as tears stung his eyes.  Once again, his fans were right there with him, singing the lyrics for him, finishing several of the lines perfectly, happily.

Adam turned away from the crowd completely so the tears falling from his eyes wouldn’t be caught on the Jumbotron behind him.  As he locked eyes with Noodle, Yoshi and Jon--who were all clearly wondering if he was going to have the audience sing the entire song for him, he reminded himself that this wasn’t all about him.  He had to support his band.  After pulling himself together he turned back to the crowd and, as he sang the next lines, zeroed in on a head of curly hair poking out from the first few rows.  He couldn’t see the young girl’s face past his blurry vision, but her big curls and brown skin grabbed him and pulled him in.

Adam couldn’t finish as a spotlight illuminated the audience and he took in the face of the curly haired girl in the front row.  As always, he was thankful to his fans for continuing on with the lyrics and melody as he realized that it was Shaun looking back at him from the crowd with a sweet smile on her face.  That same sweet smile that she’d had the night they’d made love.  The night he’d walked away.  A pit in the bottom of his stomach so heavy he felt like it could drag him clear into the earth seized him and, as he made eye contact with her, he was panicked to see her turn away from the stage and begin fighting her way through the crowd.

Adam felt his heart stop.

“Shaun,” he said into the mic, watching her curly head continue to move away from him.  He couldn’t let her go.  Not this time.   With the strings of ‘Stereo’ still playing behind him, he jumped off of the stage and into the crowd, eliciting deafening screams and chaos as he approached the safety barrier that was keeping his thousands of fans at bay.  He was vaguely aware of Jon’s voice picking up the rest of the lyrics, but he couldn’t focus on that as he saw the last hint of the curls he loved disappear into the crowd.  He couldn’t let her go.  As he waved away security, who attempted to pull him to a safe distance, he grabbed the rails and climbed over, immediately getting pawed by screaming fans.

“Shaun,” he screamed, pushing his way through people left and right as hands clawed at him from every angle.  He should have felt nothing but fear for his life, but he wasn’t afraid.  He was awake for what felt like the first time in weeks.  He was determined.

When he finally made it up to her, he reached out, his voice lowering considerably. “Babe?”  Adam took hold of her arm, stopping her.  His face fell in shock when she turned to him and he came eye to eye with a woman he’d never seen.

He immediately released her, his face wracked with disbelief. It wasn’t Shaun.  Realization crashed down on him like a ton of bricks as he stared at the curly haired stranger who was, naturally, now in no hurry to go.  Almost instantly she was hysterically screaming and wrapping her arms around his neck.  Adam didn’t even have the presence of mind to be concerned by how potentially dangerous it was for him to be caught up in the middle of a crowd of people who worshipped him.

He was too alarmed by the realization that, two weeks ago, he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.

He allowed himself to be pawed at by the thousands of people who loved him, but even as affection and devotion was bestowed on him from every angle, all he could feel was regret.

--

“So do you want to talk about what just happened back there or…?”  Katie’s question slowed to a stop when Adam wouldn’t so much as look at her.

They’d just left the arena and were supposed to be on their way to meet their father and the crew for an after party dinner, but instead they were charging down the 405 freeway. Adam was breaking every speed limit in existence. 

“Not really,” he answered absently.

“Where are we going?”  Katie asked when he pulled off onto Florence Avenue. For a moment she thought they were on their way to the airport before Adam made a turn in the complete opposite direction of LAX. Katie’s wide blue eyes took in the sights. “Ew!  Are we in…” She threw a look to Adam. “Are we in
Inglewood?”

“Yes,” Adam answered, turning another sharp corner.

“Why?!”  Katie looked back out of her window, taking in the sketchy neighborhood that was a far cry from the one she’d grown used to in the Hollywood Hills.  When Adam came to a stop on a block where every single house had bars on the windows, she instantly took hold of the ‘oh shit’ handle on her door.  “Why are we stopping?” She almost screamed when Adam opened his door and stepped out of the car.  “What are you doing?” she cried.

“Stay in the car. Keep the door locked,” Adam demanded, before slamming the door closed and running up the driveway to the apartment he’d pulled up to.

Katie slammed her finger on the door lock button, sighing in relief when the familiar clicking sound confirmed that the doors were, in fact, locked.  She leaned over the gearshift of the car and frowned as she saw Adam running into the open front door of a small apartment.  Confusion seized her.

Her brother had officially lost his mind.

--

“Shaun!” Adam ran into the open door of Shaun’s home and was stunned at the sight that greeted him.  Her apartment was completely empty, all of her furniture was gone, and boxes upon boxes were scattered across her wood floors.  Adam froze in disbelief.

She was gone.

A couple of men came into the room from the kitchen lugging a box, caught sight of Adam, and gaped at him silently.

Adam gaped back, and then shook himself back to reality.  “The woman who lives here… I mean
lived here…
Where did she go?”

“Uh….”  The movers looked at each other, then back at Adam.  “No idea man. We just move the boxes.”

Adam ran his hands through his hair and turned toward the door, immediately rearing back when he was met with Katie’s unimpressed face.  “Jesus,” he breathed. “I thought I told you to stay in the damn car?”

Katie stood with her arms crossed over her chest.  “Is this Shaun’s apartment?”

Adam threw his head back.  “Yes.  This is her apartment.  Or it…”  He looked over his shoulder.  “It
was
her apartment.”

“Well where is she?”  Katie demanded.

Adam turned back to her and threw his hands out at his sides.  “I know as much as you do, baby, I’m standing right here next to you.”

“So that’s why you had that freak-out on stage today and nearly killed us in your speed-demon race to get down here? You’re looking for her? You screwed something up?”

“Yes.  I screwed up.  I fucking screwed up,” Adam admitted.

“Jeez, Adam, what did you do?”

“Whose side are you even on? You didn’t even know her.”

“I don’t have to know her, Brother.   I know how blissfully happy you were during that short time that she was around.  I know that you just jumped into a crowd of people who could have easily killed you because you thought you saw her face at the show.  I know
you,
Adam, and I know that you need to fix what you broke with this girl before it’s too late!”

Adam took in his sister’s words.  She was now the fifth person of the day who’d told him that he’d been a happier man with Shaun in his life.  He’d been denying the truth for so long that he’d actually convinced himself he was okay without her.  He wasn’t.  Looking back to his little sister, he frowned.

“I want you to be happy,” Katie said, softly.  “And if she makes you happy…”

“I have no idea where to even begin looking…”  Adam’s words slowed to a stop.

Katie noticed.  “What?” she demanded, curious to know what epiphany had showed its face in her brother’s wild mind.

--

“Is there trouble in paradise between Adam Brand and Shaun Green? Earlier today Adam jumped into a crowd filled with thousands of adoring fans all the while screaming Shaun’s name.  We have more, right here, at 11…”

Celia gaped at the television in shock as she watched the latest news story that seemed to be on every channel.  The media had been having a field day speculating on why Adam and Shaun hadn’t been seen out together in months, and since neither of them had made an official statement, they had begun to fade from the public’s memory entirely.  All of that changed today.  Adam had jumped into a crowd of people who'd immediately swarmed him like bees to honey. All because he thought he’d seen Shaun.

Either he was a man in love, or he was completely insane.

“Probably both,” Celia said to herself, with a smile.  She thought about Shaun, who’d left for the job with The New York Times a couple of days ago, and wondered if she’d heard the news of what Adam had done.  Celia hoped Shaun
hadn’t
heard, because she knew her friend was still raw from everything that had occurred and probably wouldn’t have the strength to handle it.  It had taken many long discussions to convince her friend to take that job and not stay in Los Angeles for Adam.  Thankfully, Shaun had made the right decision, packed up and moved to New York City.

A knock on the door spurred Celia back to reality and, pausing the television, she climbed off of her couch and ran to the door. Her eyes widened when the very person gracing her television greeted her at the door, breathing somewhat wildly.

“Whoa. Adam.” She looked to the very young girl standing at Adam’s side, smiled politely, and then looked back to him.  “Wait. How do you know where I live?”

Adam didn’t give her another second to speak. “Where is she, Celia?”

Celia watched him for several long moments with wide eyes before finally speaking.  “You know, Adam, she’s happy.  She really is. And I swore to her that I was done meddling in her life.  I really don’t think--”

As she continued to take in his face it dawned on Celia that this was the one time that her being messy might have been necessary.  Never in her life had she seen such naked devotion in a man’s eyes.  She wasn’t sure she’d be able to live with herself if she let her friend miss out on a man who clearly loved her deeply.

“Celia.”  Adam clutched both sides of the doorframe, struggling to breathe.  “Please. Where is Shaun?”

Celia looked at the floor and thought hard, before looking back up at Adam with a grin.